Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
It has been on my mind so...
Here are a few updates.
First, to one of thee best chuckles I've had in a while. I needed it. I am so sick of everyone calling me with the same dumb drama that is centuries old.
Seriously, if the Bible teaches you nothing else it will show you that the same ish going on today is the same ish that has been going on for thousands of years. Men and women cheat in and out of the bedroom, pedophiles, rapists, murders, liars and theives always abound and there are only a few honest folk around. And everyone who ain't honest is always mad at the honest folk. *shrug* That's what I got out of it anyway. Among other things of course.
But back to my chuckle, my FB pal Meme called me yesterday with something new that gave me the giggles even after I got off the phone. She has met this guy who she likes. The only problem she can find is that whenever he starts talking about his job she wants to fall asleep. LOL She gave me an example that with my highly imaginative mind gave me a good laugh. She said they were out to dinner and all was fine with the general chit chat until...he started talking about his job. LOL To make matters worse she ASKED him about his job hoping that since she wasn't tired that the inevitable wouldn't happen. LOL But it did. I just had this picture of her sitting at the table nodding out on his conversation LOL. Poor Meme! lol I hope she works it out cuz she does like the man. I've never been or known anyone to be in that situation. It was a refreshing new problem.
Normal BS: I know I probably shouldn't care. I probably wouldn't with all the other drama going on if there wasn't a child caught up in this mess but...*smh* My coworker and her husband are back together. He came back with bills in tow that he didn't have when he left her. So she is running around tired and haggard looking eating oodles of noodles wondering where their next meal is coming from. He came back to her with defaulted credit cards and 3 pay day loans in tow. So she has been using her salary to carry the household along with paying his car note and insurance. *slow blink twice*
Meanwhile, she has a ten year old caught up in this mess. *sigh* She was doing so well without him. Then to top it off, her car gets towed and sold at auction for unpaid parking tickets. Leaving them with one car. Then a few weeks later his car gets TOTALED! Yikes! Luckily, they have gap insurance so that paid off his car.
However, when they go to buy another car because he needs it to get to and from work, she mind you is on the bus, he wants a Mercedes. *rapid fire blinking* And he gets mad because the dealership won't finance one for him with his credit. Ok...she makes more than him at 40k+/year. Why in thee hayle does he think he can afford a Mercedes?
Now, the dealership can put them in a car. I forget what kind but it was relatively new and a nice vehicle. He turned his nose up at it. Coworker said fine. Honey, how about I buy the car and you drive it for the next 6 months and then we can try to get you what you want at that time. He pouts and says he thinks they should both wait 6 months then try to buy TWO cars. One of them being a Mercedes on her $40k+/year salary.
I almost bit my tongue in half. *smh* Nevermind how is he going to get back and forth to work. Or how her child is going to get to school. Let's just wait. Now mind you they do not live in Bmore City or even Bmore County for that matter. They are far off the beaten track. She is taking a commuter bus to work and ish. *smh*
But what really got me was the day she came in here talking about she didn't have any food in the house or money to buy any. Then a neighbor gave them some food from their job. *side eye* How are you going to be foodless with a child and worried about your spouse wanting a luxury car?
iCan't! I'll be single for life first.
Next, my niece filed for divorce. Oh that heffa is shady! She rifled through her husbands financials trying to see if he was hiding any money before she left him. Her momma said she is seeing someone already. She is trying to get full custody of the son and keeping him from his father. She doing a bunch of ish that might have me and the rest of the family on the news in front of her house crying. *smh* Can't tell her ish either cuz she just knows it all. I just hope she got good life insurance cuz I ain't paying for her funeral. Her azz will be in Potter's field. That is all.
Normal job bs. Nothing new there.
OH! My old e-crush friended me on FB. I know I said I was gonna tell him who I am but I decided against it. He has moved on and has a new love in his life and he's happy. He said one day that he had found peace with her.
Wow!
So, I won't be disturbing that peace. I'm happy for them both. We are what we should have been all along, e-buddies and it is all good.
Other than that God is good and the world keeps turning. Though sometimes I do want to get off the planet. *chuckle*
First, to one of thee best chuckles I've had in a while. I needed it. I am so sick of everyone calling me with the same dumb drama that is centuries old.
Seriously, if the Bible teaches you nothing else it will show you that the same ish going on today is the same ish that has been going on for thousands of years. Men and women cheat in and out of the bedroom, pedophiles, rapists, murders, liars and theives always abound and there are only a few honest folk around. And everyone who ain't honest is always mad at the honest folk. *shrug* That's what I got out of it anyway. Among other things of course.
But back to my chuckle, my FB pal Meme called me yesterday with something new that gave me the giggles even after I got off the phone. She has met this guy who she likes. The only problem she can find is that whenever he starts talking about his job she wants to fall asleep. LOL She gave me an example that with my highly imaginative mind gave me a good laugh. She said they were out to dinner and all was fine with the general chit chat until...he started talking about his job. LOL To make matters worse she ASKED him about his job hoping that since she wasn't tired that the inevitable wouldn't happen. LOL But it did. I just had this picture of her sitting at the table nodding out on his conversation LOL. Poor Meme! lol I hope she works it out cuz she does like the man. I've never been or known anyone to be in that situation. It was a refreshing new problem.
Normal BS: I know I probably shouldn't care. I probably wouldn't with all the other drama going on if there wasn't a child caught up in this mess but...*smh* My coworker and her husband are back together. He came back with bills in tow that he didn't have when he left her. So she is running around tired and haggard looking eating oodles of noodles wondering where their next meal is coming from. He came back to her with defaulted credit cards and 3 pay day loans in tow. So she has been using her salary to carry the household along with paying his car note and insurance. *slow blink twice*
Meanwhile, she has a ten year old caught up in this mess. *sigh* She was doing so well without him. Then to top it off, her car gets towed and sold at auction for unpaid parking tickets. Leaving them with one car. Then a few weeks later his car gets TOTALED! Yikes! Luckily, they have gap insurance so that paid off his car.
However, when they go to buy another car because he needs it to get to and from work, she mind you is on the bus, he wants a Mercedes. *rapid fire blinking* And he gets mad because the dealership won't finance one for him with his credit. Ok...she makes more than him at 40k+/year. Why in thee hayle does he think he can afford a Mercedes?
Now, the dealership can put them in a car. I forget what kind but it was relatively new and a nice vehicle. He turned his nose up at it. Coworker said fine. Honey, how about I buy the car and you drive it for the next 6 months and then we can try to get you what you want at that time. He pouts and says he thinks they should both wait 6 months then try to buy TWO cars. One of them being a Mercedes on her $40k+/year salary.
I almost bit my tongue in half. *smh* Nevermind how is he going to get back and forth to work. Or how her child is going to get to school. Let's just wait. Now mind you they do not live in Bmore City or even Bmore County for that matter. They are far off the beaten track. She is taking a commuter bus to work and ish. *smh*
But what really got me was the day she came in here talking about she didn't have any food in the house or money to buy any. Then a neighbor gave them some food from their job. *side eye* How are you going to be foodless with a child and worried about your spouse wanting a luxury car?
iCan't! I'll be single for life first.
Next, my niece filed for divorce. Oh that heffa is shady! She rifled through her husbands financials trying to see if he was hiding any money before she left him. Her momma said she is seeing someone already. She is trying to get full custody of the son and keeping him from his father. She doing a bunch of ish that might have me and the rest of the family on the news in front of her house crying. *smh* Can't tell her ish either cuz she just knows it all. I just hope she got good life insurance cuz I ain't paying for her funeral. Her azz will be in Potter's field. That is all.
Normal job bs. Nothing new there.
OH! My old e-crush friended me on FB. I know I said I was gonna tell him who I am but I decided against it. He has moved on and has a new love in his life and he's happy. He said one day that he had found peace with her.
Wow!
So, I won't be disturbing that peace. I'm happy for them both. We are what we should have been all along, e-buddies and it is all good.
Other than that God is good and the world keeps turning. Though sometimes I do want to get off the planet. *chuckle*
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I just figured it out...I think...
This life is a gift. It is a present. No matter how rich you are or poor you are. No matter how pretty you are or ugly you are on the outside. No matter how perfect or imperfect you are. None of this superficial shyt matters. None of it.
All that matters is that you take everything you got and use it to the best of your ability for all the best possible reasons.
The sins or wrongs come into play when you deprive someone of their joy. Their life. Their needs. Their purpose. Their evolution. Even if the person you are depriving is yourself.
I think the right to pursue life, liberty and happiness isn’t just a citizen of the USA thing. I think that is a human right.
I think I am about to change my life.
*tips ice tea glass at monitor*
All that matters is that you take everything you got and use it to the best of your ability for all the best possible reasons.
The sins or wrongs come into play when you deprive someone of their joy. Their life. Their needs. Their purpose. Their evolution. Even if the person you are depriving is yourself.
I think the right to pursue life, liberty and happiness isn’t just a citizen of the USA thing. I think that is a human right.
I think I am about to change my life.
*tips ice tea glass at monitor*
Friday, September 24, 2010
What I love about being a woman
*flips over on stomach and grabs laptop*
The fully developed female breast is awesome. Yeah, I am going to start right here.
I was lying on my back here in bed topless as is my way during the summer. I happen to look over in the bedroom mirror and catch my reflection. And I am amazed at my side profile.
My cinnamon chocolate skin was bare except for a pair of black thigh high panties. My right leg was bent at the knee and swaying to some internal rhythm even I wasn’t aware of. My lumps, dimples and love handles had settled into a rather attractive pose. I could see the subtle indentation that is my waist. My waist isn’t as small as it use to be but it is still here!
Then sitting up rather perky for a 42 year old breast was Jasmine, the right one. I wonder should I really consider them to be 42 years old or should I just count the years they’ve been noticeable. I watch Jasmine rise and fall as I breathe.
She is this mound of cinnamon chocolate flesh sitting atop my chest. She is capped with a dark chocolate ring topped by a flat little button. I examine the breast with my eyes only. She is no mountain, at least not to me. Mountains are tall pointy things. Jasmine is round and soft and she jiggles outside the confines of a bra. Those aren’t mountain like characteristics at all. That’s ok. I like her soft like that.
I had taken a shower earlier and my skin was still damp. I was just relaxing on my day off. Then the air conditioner kicked on. A gush of cold air hits me and that flat little button transforms into a hard pebble completing a picture that I didn’t know was unfinished.
In that moment, I looked at myself and thought for the first time in a long time:
Damn, I look hot!
*chuckle* Now on twitter they would say take a picture or it didn’t happen. Well, consider this my snapshot. My snapshot in time for the day when my breasts are doing things that I am dreading. Or worse yet, they aren’t even there. *shrug* Who knows what the future brings? Not I but I can face it a little braver knowing that I have a memory stored here about a time when Jasmine and Jocelyn were awesomeness and I looked hot to me.
*shimmy shake and a chuckle*
The fully developed female breast is awesome. Yeah, I am going to start right here.
I was lying on my back here in bed topless as is my way during the summer. I happen to look over in the bedroom mirror and catch my reflection. And I am amazed at my side profile.
My cinnamon chocolate skin was bare except for a pair of black thigh high panties. My right leg was bent at the knee and swaying to some internal rhythm even I wasn’t aware of. My lumps, dimples and love handles had settled into a rather attractive pose. I could see the subtle indentation that is my waist. My waist isn’t as small as it use to be but it is still here!
Then sitting up rather perky for a 42 year old breast was Jasmine, the right one. I wonder should I really consider them to be 42 years old or should I just count the years they’ve been noticeable. I watch Jasmine rise and fall as I breathe.
She is this mound of cinnamon chocolate flesh sitting atop my chest. She is capped with a dark chocolate ring topped by a flat little button. I examine the breast with my eyes only. She is no mountain, at least not to me. Mountains are tall pointy things. Jasmine is round and soft and she jiggles outside the confines of a bra. Those aren’t mountain like characteristics at all. That’s ok. I like her soft like that.
I had taken a shower earlier and my skin was still damp. I was just relaxing on my day off. Then the air conditioner kicked on. A gush of cold air hits me and that flat little button transforms into a hard pebble completing a picture that I didn’t know was unfinished.
In that moment, I looked at myself and thought for the first time in a long time:
Damn, I look hot!
*chuckle* Now on twitter they would say take a picture or it didn’t happen. Well, consider this my snapshot. My snapshot in time for the day when my breasts are doing things that I am dreading. Or worse yet, they aren’t even there. *shrug* Who knows what the future brings? Not I but I can face it a little braver knowing that I have a memory stored here about a time when Jasmine and Jocelyn were awesomeness and I looked hot to me.
*shimmy shake and a chuckle*
Friday, September 17, 2010
Doctor shot at Bmore area hospital
So yesterday the local media and law enforcement were all busy with a gunman over at JHH. I use to work over there and still have friends who work there so of course I was concerned. I immediately sent out emails and texts checking on everyone.
BUT...
When I first heard that a JHH doctor had been shot in the Nelson building I immediately thought of this bastid that I once had the misfortune to work with. My thought: Somebody finally got sick of your shyt and shot your evil azz.
*titter*
I know. That wasn't a nice thought at all. Then he isn't a very nice person. Only people like him bring out thoughts like that in me. Then when I heard that the doctor's specialty was ortho I realized it wasn't the same bastid at all.
See this is what had happened...
Back when I was young and full of piss and vinegar as well as living at home so I could afford to piss off superiors, I worked as a patient registrar in one of the outpatient clinics.
One fine day I was in the middle of checking a patient out. The patient had just handed me their copay, cash mind you, when said Dr. Bastid walked up to my cubicle with a group of residents on his heels. He totally ignored the patient at my desk and dropped a chart on my desk and said: Copy this!
I had the cash in my hand and just looked up at him like he had lost his mind. He stood silently glaring down at me. Before I could say anything the coworker beside me said that she would finish checking my patient out.
I thanked her. I apologized to the patient and handed the patient their cash back. The patient threw him an evil look or two but they got up and went to the next desk.
Without a word, I picked up the chart, walked into the records room where the copiers were and proceeded to have a lovely 15 minute chat with the records girl. *snicker*
So at the 15 minute mark one of the other women working in patient check out came running in asking where are Dr. Bastid's copies. I said, I'll make them...when I get ready.
She gets all nervous. She starts telling me that I can't do that to him. Blah blah blah blah. I stood patiently while she explained. When she was done I asked her a few questions.
1) Did he get promoted to dept chair? Her answer: No.
2) Is he now second in command after the dept chair? Her answer: No.
3) In the event that the chair and his second in command are away is he next in command? Her answer: No.
4) Is he connected in some way? Her answer: No.
Our dept chair makes his own copies (this man has a physical disability) when in the clinic. He is/was a very nice doctor. The second in comman makes his own copies, another nice doctor, when in clinic. What makes Dr. Bastid so special? Her answer: Silence.
I'll make the copies when I'm ready. She goes back out to patient check out. The records girl is now nervous and won't talk anymore so I turn to the task of making his 1 copy.
I put the copy in the chart. Walk out to patient checkout where he is still standing now red in the face with his residents. I drop the chart on the desk the way he did to me. I picked up a new patient chart and called the patient's name so that I could check them out. He snatches up the chart and walks away in a huff without another word.
*chuckle*
He never did that mess to me again or had me do anything else for him either. He did, however, continue to treat the rest of the staff like shyt. Every time we would pass each other in the halls we would roll our eyes at each other. *smh*
All he had to do was ask nicely and I would have done it. Lincoln, whether he wanted to or not, freed the slaves. Dr. Bastid should have paid better attention in history class.
Anyways, the doc will recover and the gunman killed himself and his mother. Apparently, he was angry that the surgery his 84 year old mother had just had was not successful and she would not walk again. *smh* She was 84. She got to walk! There are people in this world who have never walked at all! *smh* I don't get it. I guess I never will. I hope not. I never want to feel that intitled to anything in this life.
Kinda like Dr. Bastid. He thought he was intitled to treat people like shyt.
*sits back and sips mango margarita*
BUT...
When I first heard that a JHH doctor had been shot in the Nelson building I immediately thought of this bastid that I once had the misfortune to work with. My thought: Somebody finally got sick of your shyt and shot your evil azz.
*titter*
I know. That wasn't a nice thought at all. Then he isn't a very nice person. Only people like him bring out thoughts like that in me. Then when I heard that the doctor's specialty was ortho I realized it wasn't the same bastid at all.
See this is what had happened...
Back when I was young and full of piss and vinegar as well as living at home so I could afford to piss off superiors, I worked as a patient registrar in one of the outpatient clinics.
One fine day I was in the middle of checking a patient out. The patient had just handed me their copay, cash mind you, when said Dr. Bastid walked up to my cubicle with a group of residents on his heels. He totally ignored the patient at my desk and dropped a chart on my desk and said: Copy this!
I had the cash in my hand and just looked up at him like he had lost his mind. He stood silently glaring down at me. Before I could say anything the coworker beside me said that she would finish checking my patient out.
I thanked her. I apologized to the patient and handed the patient their cash back. The patient threw him an evil look or two but they got up and went to the next desk.
Without a word, I picked up the chart, walked into the records room where the copiers were and proceeded to have a lovely 15 minute chat with the records girl. *snicker*
So at the 15 minute mark one of the other women working in patient check out came running in asking where are Dr. Bastid's copies. I said, I'll make them...when I get ready.
She gets all nervous. She starts telling me that I can't do that to him. Blah blah blah blah. I stood patiently while she explained. When she was done I asked her a few questions.
1) Did he get promoted to dept chair? Her answer: No.
2) Is he now second in command after the dept chair? Her answer: No.
3) In the event that the chair and his second in command are away is he next in command? Her answer: No.
4) Is he connected in some way? Her answer: No.
Our dept chair makes his own copies (this man has a physical disability) when in the clinic. He is/was a very nice doctor. The second in comman makes his own copies, another nice doctor, when in clinic. What makes Dr. Bastid so special? Her answer: Silence.
I'll make the copies when I'm ready. She goes back out to patient check out. The records girl is now nervous and won't talk anymore so I turn to the task of making his 1 copy.
I put the copy in the chart. Walk out to patient checkout where he is still standing now red in the face with his residents. I drop the chart on the desk the way he did to me. I picked up a new patient chart and called the patient's name so that I could check them out. He snatches up the chart and walks away in a huff without another word.
*chuckle*
He never did that mess to me again or had me do anything else for him either. He did, however, continue to treat the rest of the staff like shyt. Every time we would pass each other in the halls we would roll our eyes at each other. *smh*
All he had to do was ask nicely and I would have done it. Lincoln, whether he wanted to or not, freed the slaves. Dr. Bastid should have paid better attention in history class.
Anyways, the doc will recover and the gunman killed himself and his mother. Apparently, he was angry that the surgery his 84 year old mother had just had was not successful and she would not walk again. *smh* She was 84. She got to walk! There are people in this world who have never walked at all! *smh* I don't get it. I guess I never will. I hope not. I never want to feel that intitled to anything in this life.
Kinda like Dr. Bastid. He thought he was intitled to treat people like shyt.
*sits back and sips mango margarita*
Monday, August 30, 2010
What I wish...
You know what I wish? That people would get wiser. We have plenty of intelligence but I swear wisdom is in short supply.
Let me give the definition of these two words, thank you dictionary.com.
Intelligence: having good understanding or a high mental capacity; quick to comprehend, as persons or animals: an intelligent student.
Wisdom: the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.
Yeah, that is what I want human beings to attain. Wisdom. Perferably...now. *looks around hopefully*
I mean we have been on this planet long enough I think that more than a handful of people should:
1) have some wisdom
2) be wise enough to listen to those who have come before them and value their opinions
3) stop making the same dumb azz mistakes over and over again
4) realize that violence never beget anything but more violence
5) be able to get the fuk along
Those are just the 5 off the top of my head. I have so much stuff floating around in my head. So many people just living out the same ish over and over. So many questions.
Why does my niece think that living her life the same way her mother did will end any better for her than it did her mother?
Why does my sister continue to go down the same dead end road thinking that it will get better as it steadily gets worse?
Why does MB3 continue to let the same people who use and abuse her and then complain about it?
Why does MCB continue on the path she is on even though she is miserable?
*pause* Million dollar questions here:
Why do men and women continue to let their significant others destroy them?
Why do women give up their sex and womb to men who are unworthy? Even when forewarned?
Why do men give their seed to women who are unworthy? Even when forewarned?
Why the fuk are some people so damn greedy?
Why do some people have no conscience?
Why can't people figure out why promiscuity is bad for them? I mean come on now, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Herpes and AIDS so far. How many different ways does nature have to say stop fukking around indiscriminately before we finally figure it out. I'm not even going to touch on the moral issues with it.
Multi-million dollar questions here:
Why are most black men dyck centric? I mean the whole of most, not just a lot but most, black men's lives is centered on their dycks and how to put them into as many wholes as possible.
Why are a lot of black women sliding down that same slope with black men and think it is ok as long as they get theirs?
Priceless question here:
Why are so many people mad at God?
*eyeroll and forehead rub* I just keep seeing the same stuff happening over and over again. It's like we are stuck in some primitive civilization loop and the only thing that seems to change in technology. We get more and more intelligent but we don't seem to gain any wisdom while we are getting smarter.
How is that possible? Or am I just focusing on the wrong stuff? Do I need new people in my life? Less people in my life? Change of scenery? What?
I declare, I am having one of those days where for half a peanut I'd push the button to end the world my dang self if I could. *smh*
The fact that we are still here proves to me that God exists.
2000 years ago Jesus said that there would always be poor people and 2000 years later He is still right. Why doesn't that make anyone angry? Why doesn't that make anyone sad? Why doesn't that make us change? Are human beings really incapable of evolving beyond where we are now? Really?
There is plenty of food, water, and energy. Yes, there is. I bet we could figure it out if we tried. Why isn't anyone trying to do anything any more than get rich and famous?
*sigh* Is this Hell? Seriously. Is it?
Let me give the definition of these two words, thank you dictionary.com.
Intelligence: having good understanding or a high mental capacity; quick to comprehend, as persons or animals: an intelligent student.
Wisdom: the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.
Yeah, that is what I want human beings to attain. Wisdom. Perferably...now. *looks around hopefully*
I mean we have been on this planet long enough I think that more than a handful of people should:
1) have some wisdom
2) be wise enough to listen to those who have come before them and value their opinions
3) stop making the same dumb azz mistakes over and over again
4) realize that violence never beget anything but more violence
5) be able to get the fuk along
Those are just the 5 off the top of my head. I have so much stuff floating around in my head. So many people just living out the same ish over and over. So many questions.
Why does my niece think that living her life the same way her mother did will end any better for her than it did her mother?
Why does my sister continue to go down the same dead end road thinking that it will get better as it steadily gets worse?
Why does MB3 continue to let the same people who use and abuse her and then complain about it?
Why does MCB continue on the path she is on even though she is miserable?
*pause* Million dollar questions here:
Why do men and women continue to let their significant others destroy them?
Why do women give up their sex and womb to men who are unworthy? Even when forewarned?
Why do men give their seed to women who are unworthy? Even when forewarned?
Why the fuk are some people so damn greedy?
Why do some people have no conscience?
Why can't people figure out why promiscuity is bad for them? I mean come on now, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Herpes and AIDS so far. How many different ways does nature have to say stop fukking around indiscriminately before we finally figure it out. I'm not even going to touch on the moral issues with it.
Multi-million dollar questions here:
Why are most black men dyck centric? I mean the whole of most, not just a lot but most, black men's lives is centered on their dycks and how to put them into as many wholes as possible.
Why are a lot of black women sliding down that same slope with black men and think it is ok as long as they get theirs?
Priceless question here:
Why are so many people mad at God?
*eyeroll and forehead rub* I just keep seeing the same stuff happening over and over again. It's like we are stuck in some primitive civilization loop and the only thing that seems to change in technology. We get more and more intelligent but we don't seem to gain any wisdom while we are getting smarter.
How is that possible? Or am I just focusing on the wrong stuff? Do I need new people in my life? Less people in my life? Change of scenery? What?
I declare, I am having one of those days where for half a peanut I'd push the button to end the world my dang self if I could. *smh*
The fact that we are still here proves to me that God exists.
2000 years ago Jesus said that there would always be poor people and 2000 years later He is still right. Why doesn't that make anyone angry? Why doesn't that make anyone sad? Why doesn't that make us change? Are human beings really incapable of evolving beyond where we are now? Really?
There is plenty of food, water, and energy. Yes, there is. I bet we could figure it out if we tried. Why isn't anyone trying to do anything any more than get rich and famous?
*sigh* Is this Hell? Seriously. Is it?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Waiting on the world to change.
*sigh*
I’m about to drop a womanly secret and I am wondering what will happen if I do? Will the cosmos come after me and punish me? Will my Woman Card be revoked and I end up a transgendered eunuch? Or will absolutely nothing happen cuz it is just possible that no one will ever read this little blurb? *shrug*
Let me start with what transpired that got me on this subject. A chick I once worked with and I have kind of struck up a friendly association of sorts. Let’s call her Buffy. *smirk* I don’t tell her anything and she tells me everything. *chuckle* Anyway, I get a text from her first thing one morning and thru a series of text messages I get the latest drama going on in her life.
See, a several months ago she met this guy. They went out on a date and…you know what? I blogged about her briefly in my HIV/AIDS rant. She’s that chick. This is the guy she slept with on the first date. Well, they’ve been dating ever since. He was homeless and sleeping on friends’ couches when she met him. Now she told me at the time that she was not going to allow him to move in with her. She said that. She did. She did. She really did!
So in June she told me that they were now discussing marriage. I thought that was a big leap for people who hadn’t known each other quite 6 months yet, but I said nothing. I let her talk. *shrug* I’ve heard of happy endings in such a short time of dating but I had my doubts about this but I kept them to myself. I let her shine cuz she was really happy.
Then he tells her that he lied when he said he wanted to get married. He had never discussed marriage before and he just wanted to know what it felt like to talk about it.
*Jaw drop accompanied by blank stare*
I am trying to find the words for the way I felt when I read this text and I just can’t. I know I stopped breathing for a few seconds and my mind went blank. And that was actually a good thing becuz since I had no response she could finish her story.
So that was on a Friday. She said she thought she felt ok about it but come Monday the damn broke and she’d been crying ever since. *sympathetic head shake* I could just imagine. By this time now I am getting pissed for her and my mind is thinking some truly vile, evil things about this guy and what should be done to him. But still I am silent. I let her speak on.
I asked her had they talked and she said yes and that she keeps breaking down and crying. She said he found it annoying.
*blinkity blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink, etc.*
My thought processes went something like this: “What the…who the…I…BLANK*
She asked me did I think she had a right to be crying and emotional right now. I was like FUK YEAH! On the inside. On the outside I said something calm and logical to the affect that yes she did have a right to her feelings. She thought she was building a relationship with someone who wanted the same things out of life that she did. She thought she had found the person who she wanted to share her life with and who felt the same about her. To find out now that he was lying was quite cruel. I told her perhaps she should take some time to cry and get her emotions under control. That perhaps she shouldn’t speak to him again until the weekend.
That was when she dropped the real bomb: He’s living with her so she has to see him.
I felt like saying, Bytch, what? This MFer is still living in your home (she’s buying her house) after that shyt he just said? Alive? And not in pieces buried in the backyard, under the front steps, at the dump and various other places I could think of? WTF???? This would be considered a crime of passion and you probably wouldn't even see the inside of a jail cell!
What I actually said I have no idea. I think I blocked it out but I know it wasn’t any of the above. As a matter of fact I think I totally blanked on responding to the fact that she had let this homeless MFer move in with her. So I let her cry it out to me.
So I talked to HKS to make sure I was right in my feeling even if I didn’t speak ill of The One Who Should Be Dead to Buffy. She confirmed my feelings and gave me a little something to take back to Buffy that went like this: You know, I have never had you living in my home before. I let you move in so that I could see what that was like but I was lying and I don’t want you living with me anymore. *tears of laughter*
So I passed this onto Buffy and her text response verbatim:
He is staying with family tonight. Just paranoid that he is going to leave me.
Yeah…I never did answer her. Didn’t know if I would ever talk to her again. Cuz my mind said: You dilly, low self-esteemed bytch! Six months ago this MFer didn’t have a place to lay his head. He has family that took him in tonight but this bytch can’t live with them. He had friends that let him sleep on their couches for a few nights but AGAIN nobody wanted to let his azz live with them. If you really want his azz you can pretty much order this MFer to marry you or be fukking homeless again. I’m betting his annoyance is feigned to cover up for really being scared that he’s about to be homeless again. That’s it. He’s scared you are about to put his azz out on the curb and he’s gonna have to start bouncing from couch to couch again. If his azz is lucky cuz you have no idea if he’s burned any bridges since moving in with you! But you are worried that HE is gonna leave YOU? WTF aren’t you helping his sorry azz pack?
I tossed my cell phone down and walked away in disgust instead of saying any of that. Watch her azz end up on Judge Joe Brown or some damn body. *smh*
But I didn’t talk bad about her…man? Whatever he is I didn’t say anything negative to her about him. Becuz what I know is that after telling me all this and getting me all worked up she would and ultimately did take this MFer back. She at least was admitting it. I’ve had friends who swore off their men time and time again. And time and time again they took their men back. *shrug* It just is what it is. And it’s nothing new. Have you read or seen A Streetcar Named Desire, Eve’s Bayou, or some other movie, book or play where this happens? Those are cases of art imitating life.
But if you are the friend that talked bad about your girlfriend's man guess who is the bad friend? And these women will tell their men which of their girls told them to dump him. Now he mad and hating the girlfriends for just reacting to what HIS WOMAN said.
And uh ladies? If you are doing this mess in hopes that your man won’t ever hook up with one of your friends you can stop thinking that. Dyck neither loves nor hates. It just strokes and ejaculates.
What made me decide to write about it was that one of the guys in my TT was going OFF about his girlfriend’s friends one day. They bitter. They ugly. They this, that and the other. I was cracking up cuz what he didn’t seem to realize was that his girlfriend’s friends are just going in on what HIS GIRLFRIEND told them. *smh*
I am just truly amazed that everyone always goes in on the outside women. No one ever goes to the source. If your man is cheating don’t go to the other woman (or man as the case may be) you should check your man. If your girlfriend’s friends got too much to say about your relationship don’t check the friends check your woman. Period. That is all. *chuckle*
Chile, I was just mad I didn’t have any popcorn cuz my TT was hot! He went on a rant for more than a minute! *LOL* I just kept sitting there hitting the refresh button. *LOL* And these folks are in their 30s and have yet to learn these very simple little facts.
I learned back in college to keep my mouth shut when it came to my girlfriends and their men.
My best story belonged to Lisa. See, Lisa and I both came from a working class family. Our parents couldn’t afford to pay for our college education, books, room and board etc. like most of the friends in our circle. We were still very different but our socio-economic background was similar.
Anyhoodles, around our junior year Lisa settles into a romance with a whore. The only thing that pissed me off about this was that she was letting him drive her car and I know how hard she had worked and scrimped to get that car. But again, I kept my mouth shut.
Our other friends thought she should be told. As is my way, I went along for the ride. I sat in a corner while they spilled the beans on all the whoring he had been doing and I said not one word. It wasn’t a conscious decision to keep my knowledge to myself becuz I actually I knew one of the girls he was whoring with. I saw him coming out her bedroom with my own two eyes. The look on his face was priceless when he saw me by the way.
So they told Lisa. Lisa ran back to her man and asked him was it true. Lisa came back and told them what he told her: You bitter heffas (he actually inserted my friends’ names) need to mind your own damn business. Get your azz a man and stop being in everyone else’s business. The shyt is lies. Blah blah blah blah.
Same stuff I have been hearing ever after. *smh* I heard about it from my friends after she gave them an earful cuz my name wasn’t mentioned. Becuz I didn’t have shyt to say.
Do you know that MFer had the nerve to try to fuk me a few weeks later? Then told me I needed to grow up when I turned his azz down and gave him my reasons for turning him down. *smh* I still can’t believe I had to explain to him why I wouldn’t fuk him. Whatever. Water not just under the bridge but out to sea by now. Given the chance he would have fukked every one of the vocal friends too, I am sure.
I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen this mess replayed over and over. Ain’t a thing new under this here sun. *sigh* I’m tired. Thinking of cutting loose the women in my life cuz I swear, I’m tired of this shyt.
I always thought it strange that my mom didn’t have any girlfriends. As I get older I am seeing the wisdom of that. I wonder how I’d do as a hermit?
I like my drama to be fictional and not coming through my phone, computer screen or walking through my door.
*waves tiredly at the monitor*
I’m about to drop a womanly secret and I am wondering what will happen if I do? Will the cosmos come after me and punish me? Will my Woman Card be revoked and I end up a transgendered eunuch? Or will absolutely nothing happen cuz it is just possible that no one will ever read this little blurb? *shrug*
Let me start with what transpired that got me on this subject. A chick I once worked with and I have kind of struck up a friendly association of sorts. Let’s call her Buffy. *smirk* I don’t tell her anything and she tells me everything. *chuckle* Anyway, I get a text from her first thing one morning and thru a series of text messages I get the latest drama going on in her life.
See, a several months ago she met this guy. They went out on a date and…you know what? I blogged about her briefly in my HIV/AIDS rant. She’s that chick. This is the guy she slept with on the first date. Well, they’ve been dating ever since. He was homeless and sleeping on friends’ couches when she met him. Now she told me at the time that she was not going to allow him to move in with her. She said that. She did. She did. She really did!
So in June she told me that they were now discussing marriage. I thought that was a big leap for people who hadn’t known each other quite 6 months yet, but I said nothing. I let her talk. *shrug* I’ve heard of happy endings in such a short time of dating but I had my doubts about this but I kept them to myself. I let her shine cuz she was really happy.
Then he tells her that he lied when he said he wanted to get married. He had never discussed marriage before and he just wanted to know what it felt like to talk about it.
*Jaw drop accompanied by blank stare*
I am trying to find the words for the way I felt when I read this text and I just can’t. I know I stopped breathing for a few seconds and my mind went blank. And that was actually a good thing becuz since I had no response she could finish her story.
So that was on a Friday. She said she thought she felt ok about it but come Monday the damn broke and she’d been crying ever since. *sympathetic head shake* I could just imagine. By this time now I am getting pissed for her and my mind is thinking some truly vile, evil things about this guy and what should be done to him. But still I am silent. I let her speak on.
I asked her had they talked and she said yes and that she keeps breaking down and crying. She said he found it annoying.
*blinkity blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink, etc.*
My thought processes went something like this: “What the…who the…I…BLANK*
She asked me did I think she had a right to be crying and emotional right now. I was like FUK YEAH! On the inside. On the outside I said something calm and logical to the affect that yes she did have a right to her feelings. She thought she was building a relationship with someone who wanted the same things out of life that she did. She thought she had found the person who she wanted to share her life with and who felt the same about her. To find out now that he was lying was quite cruel. I told her perhaps she should take some time to cry and get her emotions under control. That perhaps she shouldn’t speak to him again until the weekend.
That was when she dropped the real bomb: He’s living with her so she has to see him.
I felt like saying, Bytch, what? This MFer is still living in your home (she’s buying her house) after that shyt he just said? Alive? And not in pieces buried in the backyard, under the front steps, at the dump and various other places I could think of? WTF???? This would be considered a crime of passion and you probably wouldn't even see the inside of a jail cell!
What I actually said I have no idea. I think I blocked it out but I know it wasn’t any of the above. As a matter of fact I think I totally blanked on responding to the fact that she had let this homeless MFer move in with her. So I let her cry it out to me.
So I talked to HKS to make sure I was right in my feeling even if I didn’t speak ill of The One Who Should Be Dead to Buffy. She confirmed my feelings and gave me a little something to take back to Buffy that went like this: You know, I have never had you living in my home before. I let you move in so that I could see what that was like but I was lying and I don’t want you living with me anymore. *tears of laughter*
So I passed this onto Buffy and her text response verbatim:
He is staying with family tonight. Just paranoid that he is going to leave me.
Yeah…I never did answer her. Didn’t know if I would ever talk to her again. Cuz my mind said: You dilly, low self-esteemed bytch! Six months ago this MFer didn’t have a place to lay his head. He has family that took him in tonight but this bytch can’t live with them. He had friends that let him sleep on their couches for a few nights but AGAIN nobody wanted to let his azz live with them. If you really want his azz you can pretty much order this MFer to marry you or be fukking homeless again. I’m betting his annoyance is feigned to cover up for really being scared that he’s about to be homeless again. That’s it. He’s scared you are about to put his azz out on the curb and he’s gonna have to start bouncing from couch to couch again. If his azz is lucky cuz you have no idea if he’s burned any bridges since moving in with you! But you are worried that HE is gonna leave YOU? WTF aren’t you helping his sorry azz pack?
I tossed my cell phone down and walked away in disgust instead of saying any of that. Watch her azz end up on Judge Joe Brown or some damn body. *smh*
But I didn’t talk bad about her…man? Whatever he is I didn’t say anything negative to her about him. Becuz what I know is that after telling me all this and getting me all worked up she would and ultimately did take this MFer back. She at least was admitting it. I’ve had friends who swore off their men time and time again. And time and time again they took their men back. *shrug* It just is what it is. And it’s nothing new. Have you read or seen A Streetcar Named Desire, Eve’s Bayou, or some other movie, book or play where this happens? Those are cases of art imitating life.
But if you are the friend that talked bad about your girlfriend's man guess who is the bad friend? And these women will tell their men which of their girls told them to dump him. Now he mad and hating the girlfriends for just reacting to what HIS WOMAN said.
And uh ladies? If you are doing this mess in hopes that your man won’t ever hook up with one of your friends you can stop thinking that. Dyck neither loves nor hates. It just strokes and ejaculates.
What made me decide to write about it was that one of the guys in my TT was going OFF about his girlfriend’s friends one day. They bitter. They ugly. They this, that and the other. I was cracking up cuz what he didn’t seem to realize was that his girlfriend’s friends are just going in on what HIS GIRLFRIEND told them. *smh*
I am just truly amazed that everyone always goes in on the outside women. No one ever goes to the source. If your man is cheating don’t go to the other woman (or man as the case may be) you should check your man. If your girlfriend’s friends got too much to say about your relationship don’t check the friends check your woman. Period. That is all. *chuckle*
Chile, I was just mad I didn’t have any popcorn cuz my TT was hot! He went on a rant for more than a minute! *LOL* I just kept sitting there hitting the refresh button. *LOL* And these folks are in their 30s and have yet to learn these very simple little facts.
I learned back in college to keep my mouth shut when it came to my girlfriends and their men.
My best story belonged to Lisa. See, Lisa and I both came from a working class family. Our parents couldn’t afford to pay for our college education, books, room and board etc. like most of the friends in our circle. We were still very different but our socio-economic background was similar.
Anyhoodles, around our junior year Lisa settles into a romance with a whore. The only thing that pissed me off about this was that she was letting him drive her car and I know how hard she had worked and scrimped to get that car. But again, I kept my mouth shut.
Our other friends thought she should be told. As is my way, I went along for the ride. I sat in a corner while they spilled the beans on all the whoring he had been doing and I said not one word. It wasn’t a conscious decision to keep my knowledge to myself becuz I actually I knew one of the girls he was whoring with. I saw him coming out her bedroom with my own two eyes. The look on his face was priceless when he saw me by the way.
So they told Lisa. Lisa ran back to her man and asked him was it true. Lisa came back and told them what he told her: You bitter heffas (he actually inserted my friends’ names) need to mind your own damn business. Get your azz a man and stop being in everyone else’s business. The shyt is lies. Blah blah blah blah.
Same stuff I have been hearing ever after. *smh* I heard about it from my friends after she gave them an earful cuz my name wasn’t mentioned. Becuz I didn’t have shyt to say.
Do you know that MFer had the nerve to try to fuk me a few weeks later? Then told me I needed to grow up when I turned his azz down and gave him my reasons for turning him down. *smh* I still can’t believe I had to explain to him why I wouldn’t fuk him. Whatever. Water not just under the bridge but out to sea by now. Given the chance he would have fukked every one of the vocal friends too, I am sure.
I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen this mess replayed over and over. Ain’t a thing new under this here sun. *sigh* I’m tired. Thinking of cutting loose the women in my life cuz I swear, I’m tired of this shyt.
I always thought it strange that my mom didn’t have any girlfriends. As I get older I am seeing the wisdom of that. I wonder how I’d do as a hermit?
I like my drama to be fictional and not coming through my phone, computer screen or walking through my door.
*waves tiredly at the monitor*
Monday, August 23, 2010
My advice to a good man looking for a good woman.
NOTICE: This is only to be done if you are truly tired of the game playing and are ready to find yourself a good woman to settle down with. If you use this info to find a good woman then chances are good that you will. If you do this and you are still playing games I hope you are prepared for the consequences. All that you do (good or bad) will always come right back to you.
NOW THE DISCLAIMER: There are no guarantees in life. I can’t guarantee that you still won’t run into a crud ball chick or two or three or more. I can only offer you the best advice at my disposal from my experiences in my 42 years alive and those of my friends and acquaintances.
Read the title slowly and let it sink in that I am talking about all women. That means black, white and every beautiful color, shape, and size in between.
No matter what color, shape, and size you are looking for in a good woman it is pretty simple to find her.
Now, men, unlike women, for the most part know what they want and don’t want in a woman. Please double check your list now fellas and make certain that it is plausible to find such a woman. I’m saying. A woman with a build like Barbie and a personality like Cinderella would have been raped and murdered before she was even legal. If Barbie were real her proportions would make it impossible for her to walk let alone outrun an attacker. A child with Cinderella’s personality would have been lead into a van to look at the puppies by some pedophile before the age of 10 and never been seen or heard from alive again. Let’s be realistic, the world we live in does not do enough to protect those who are not strong enough to protect themselves.
You got a list. Now make sure that YOU are 80% of everything on the list that you want HER to be. If you are not, then you need to take stock of yourself. Maybe your shortcomings are what is holding you back from finding the good woman you desire. Figure out how to get to that 80% that you need to be before you go one step further. For everyone else, great job fellas! *smiles approvingly*
First, and foremost, stop and take stock of every woman who is around you. I don’t espouse dating in the work place cuz well it may not work out. You might find out that Kim in accounting is a Dominatrix looking for a submissive and you are a Dom looking for a submissive. You don’t need or want all your personal business floating around in the office.
Personally, I suggest getting outdoors on a sunny day and taking a look around. Get yourself some sunglasses becuz in this day of psychopaths, rapists, stalkers and bugaboos, a man just standing and staring at women will be considered a weirdo at best and crazy and unwanted at worst.
Now find a spot and try not to look obvious. I know it will be difficult. You are men. boobies, legs, and azzes in the shape and size you prefer get you all hot and bothered and will make you turn in the direction that the owner is going in. Doing this will give away what your intent is so try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Practice if you must before you go on the hunt for your good woman. It can be done. I have faith in you.
Get your eyes checked. Make sure you are seeing what you think you are seeing so there are no mistakes. Save yourself from having a really awkward moment. You don’t want to be the reason for another good woman going down the bitter path, do you? Of course not! If you believe in God, then He don’t like ugly. If you don’t believe in God, then believe this: what goes around comes right back around. So be careful how you tread.
If you are a blind man then you can probably see far better than a sighted man. I can’t believe you are even here but read on if you like. *welcoming smile and hug*
So fellas, have a look around in your good vantage spot with your shades on. Now just sit there and enjoy the view. Don’t do anything this day or even the next. Just enjoy what it feels like to just watch a pretty girl/woman go by. Yes, I know you want to jump into the fray but I think some of you are battle weary and you need to remember what you are out there hunting for and why.
It is a jungle out here. There are women out here playing games on good men just like there are men out here playing games on good women. I think a lot of us have gotten caught up in this game. Take some time to just remember what is so great about women. *smiling remembering what is so great about men*
So, after you have spent a day or two or more remembering who it is you are looking for and just enjoying the womanly landscapes before you, pick a couple out that you want to approach. I say a couple, becuz of the chance that some that you pick out may have a significant other.
Oh and fellas, make sure you don’t have a significant other before you go on the hunt for your good woman. I, as do most good women, hate that mess. And it is a mess. Get free from your entanglements before seeking a new one. Saves on time, emotion, slashed tires, crank calls, etc. It’s something a good man would do in my and most of the good women I know books.
Now, I’m getting ready to tell you the secret to getting a good woman.
Confidence.
That’s it. If you AREN’T a grown azz man in your own mind, taking care of your own personal and professional life, with 80% of the stuff going on in your life that you want your woman to have going on in her life then you won’t have any confidence in YOU. That weakens you and a good woman can smell weakness.
Why do I want a weak man? I mean really? I hear a lot about men wanting to be treated like kings. *lip purse and shrug* Then be one. Make sure you are a good king. Be book smart, street smart, penny wise, and know your worth as a person, as a man and as a mate. When you know all that then you know that a woman would be very fortunate to have you.
I know a lot of men think that the key is to be rich or to be a roughneck but nope that isn’t it. What attracts most women (myself included) to a roughneck or a man with wealth is their confidence. They just exude it. Think about it fellas, most chicks who end up with a roughneck spend a lot of wasted time trying to change their evil ways. We want that confidence and strength without all the crap that goes along with it i.e. cheating, gambling, drinking, abuse, etc.
Being a good man is one thing but you got to know the dang thing while you’re at it! That should give you the confidence to get up and approach the women you scope out.
*eyerolls* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HAVE SOME FINESSE ABOUT THIS! You approach woman A. You get shot down. Cool. It happens, even to roughnecks and rich guys, they just don’t take it personal. They retreat, regroup and choose a new woman. LET ME TYPE THIS AGAIN: Retreat, regroup and choose again. Please don’t hop from woman A to woman B to woman C etc. You will get shot down again and again. Remember, we are gatherers. We try to see every damn thing! And a lot of the time we do. Five will get you ten that we saw you get shot down, shake it off and move down the assembly line to the next one. That’s not a good look. It looks desperate. You don’t like desperation on a woman, do you?
Now, fellas, you are going to have to work on your approach. I know every man’s idea of a good woman is not the same. You can find a good woman in the hood, on the runway, in the factory, or in corporate America. That’s just to name a few areas. However, you cannot approach all good women the same way. Some men are going to say that’s common sense. *shrug* Actually it isn’t.
You know I have blogged (and laughed) about my neighbor walking the last chick I saw spend the night at his place to the bus stop. He has tried to get at me and then my friends and failed. He keeps using the same approach. He approached us like we were hood chicks. *smh* Ain’t nothing hood about the women I hang out with. We are some bougie chicks. Every last one of us so approaching us that way got him instantly, but politely shot down. I don’t hang out with rude women. Unless we are drunk and then I can’t vouch for them. *chuckle* I, on the otherhand, am pretty tame even when drunk.
Going with the birds of a feather principle, you would think that common sense would have dictated that if his approach didn’t work on me then he should switch it up for my friends. Nope, he didn’t.
But you know what, I’ve had some time to look him over and watch him. He’s actually a decent guy. He has a legitimate job. He looks just as tired coming in as I do, so I know he works hard. He shoveled our walkways during our record setting blizzards this past winter. Just cuz. I know ladies, don’t break those pearls you are clutching. *chuckle* He seems to have gotten over being shot down by me and every woman to come or go from my place now. So from time to time he chats me up. He can actually carry on a halfway decent conversation. IF this guy had approached me several months ago we might be dating now. *smh* MIGHT! I don’t know any vitals on him so I don’t know if he fits my list.
Also, there is just something a little bit sleazy about him. And the other two guys in my complex who are roommates are suspect. I caught them singing love songs to each other again! How many times am I going to walk past your windows and find you singing love songs to a dude at the top of your lungs but when your girlfriend comes over you play all gansta rap? *Riley voice* Nigga, you gay!
Anyway fellas, work on your approach. Make sure you are approaching the woman you want in the right way. Just cuz you are hood at your core doesn’t mean you can’t date one of my bougie azz friends or myself for that matter if bougie chicks are your thing but you are going to have to approach us right.
TRUE STORY: My favorite approach in my memory was let’s call him, Romeo. Like the true gatherer I am I notice everything and I noticed him scope me out like the hunter he is BEFORE he approached. *smirk* I gave him cool points for that alone.
I was standing in a store aisle looking for something. He strolls down the aisle like he hasn’t already found what he was looking for.
*stops to laugh myself silly becuz DJ Jason Priestly just said that Snooky from the Jersey Shore looked like a silver pumpkin in someone’s music video*
Anyway, I step back to let him pass and just as he does he looks at me and says “Hey! You’re cute!” and stops dead in his tracks. *chuckle* Nothing a lady likes more than knowing that she can stop you in your tracks with her looks. Alas, we weren’t compatible but he was fun. *tucks a fond memory away*
I’m willing to bet that would even work on a hood chick. She might think you are a bit corny but if you make her smile you are in. If you don’t, then step back, regroup and come at her (thoughtful pause) I don’t know, however, hood women like to be approached. I just know come in confident and if she (we) aren’t interested then keep it moving. Do it classy cuz you never know where your good woman is. She may be standing off to the side shaking her head at that rude heifer that just shot you down trying to figure out how to get you to notice her or how to approach you. Just tell yourself that you probably missed out on some drama and count yourself lucky. As my mother use to say: Everything that looks good to you ain’t (or isn’t for my bougie men) good for you.
If you know you are a good man then the problem wasn’t you it was them. There are far too many good single women out here to trip over the few that don’t want what you are offering.
You don't have to be rich, but always give her the best of you no matter where you go or what you do. If she celebrates birthdays then remember hers. Let her know you think about her. Don't forget the hell you went through to get her and appreciate her. Make sure she appreciates you! Male and female alike is going through hell on this here dating scene.
And lastly but not leastly if it doesn't work out, don't force it. Let her know that you don't feel the two of you are compatible and move on if she isn't the one. It is called dating for a reason. You date to see IF you two are compatible.
If you are, then do the right thing and settle down into a monogamous relationship and start building a life together filled with the things you BOTH want and need.
That's it. Hope it wasn't too long or complicated.
Happy dating! *tips water bottle at monitor*
NOW THE DISCLAIMER: There are no guarantees in life. I can’t guarantee that you still won’t run into a crud ball chick or two or three or more. I can only offer you the best advice at my disposal from my experiences in my 42 years alive and those of my friends and acquaintances.
Read the title slowly and let it sink in that I am talking about all women. That means black, white and every beautiful color, shape, and size in between.
No matter what color, shape, and size you are looking for in a good woman it is pretty simple to find her.
Now, men, unlike women, for the most part know what they want and don’t want in a woman. Please double check your list now fellas and make certain that it is plausible to find such a woman. I’m saying. A woman with a build like Barbie and a personality like Cinderella would have been raped and murdered before she was even legal. If Barbie were real her proportions would make it impossible for her to walk let alone outrun an attacker. A child with Cinderella’s personality would have been lead into a van to look at the puppies by some pedophile before the age of 10 and never been seen or heard from alive again. Let’s be realistic, the world we live in does not do enough to protect those who are not strong enough to protect themselves.
You got a list. Now make sure that YOU are 80% of everything on the list that you want HER to be. If you are not, then you need to take stock of yourself. Maybe your shortcomings are what is holding you back from finding the good woman you desire. Figure out how to get to that 80% that you need to be before you go one step further. For everyone else, great job fellas! *smiles approvingly*
First, and foremost, stop and take stock of every woman who is around you. I don’t espouse dating in the work place cuz well it may not work out. You might find out that Kim in accounting is a Dominatrix looking for a submissive and you are a Dom looking for a submissive. You don’t need or want all your personal business floating around in the office.
Personally, I suggest getting outdoors on a sunny day and taking a look around. Get yourself some sunglasses becuz in this day of psychopaths, rapists, stalkers and bugaboos, a man just standing and staring at women will be considered a weirdo at best and crazy and unwanted at worst.
Now find a spot and try not to look obvious. I know it will be difficult. You are men. boobies, legs, and azzes in the shape and size you prefer get you all hot and bothered and will make you turn in the direction that the owner is going in. Doing this will give away what your intent is so try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Practice if you must before you go on the hunt for your good woman. It can be done. I have faith in you.
Get your eyes checked. Make sure you are seeing what you think you are seeing so there are no mistakes. Save yourself from having a really awkward moment. You don’t want to be the reason for another good woman going down the bitter path, do you? Of course not! If you believe in God, then He don’t like ugly. If you don’t believe in God, then believe this: what goes around comes right back around. So be careful how you tread.
If you are a blind man then you can probably see far better than a sighted man. I can’t believe you are even here but read on if you like. *welcoming smile and hug*
So fellas, have a look around in your good vantage spot with your shades on. Now just sit there and enjoy the view. Don’t do anything this day or even the next. Just enjoy what it feels like to just watch a pretty girl/woman go by. Yes, I know you want to jump into the fray but I think some of you are battle weary and you need to remember what you are out there hunting for and why.
It is a jungle out here. There are women out here playing games on good men just like there are men out here playing games on good women. I think a lot of us have gotten caught up in this game. Take some time to just remember what is so great about women. *smiling remembering what is so great about men*
So, after you have spent a day or two or more remembering who it is you are looking for and just enjoying the womanly landscapes before you, pick a couple out that you want to approach. I say a couple, becuz of the chance that some that you pick out may have a significant other.
Oh and fellas, make sure you don’t have a significant other before you go on the hunt for your good woman. I, as do most good women, hate that mess. And it is a mess. Get free from your entanglements before seeking a new one. Saves on time, emotion, slashed tires, crank calls, etc. It’s something a good man would do in my and most of the good women I know books.
Now, I’m getting ready to tell you the secret to getting a good woman.
Confidence.
That’s it. If you AREN’T a grown azz man in your own mind, taking care of your own personal and professional life, with 80% of the stuff going on in your life that you want your woman to have going on in her life then you won’t have any confidence in YOU. That weakens you and a good woman can smell weakness.
Why do I want a weak man? I mean really? I hear a lot about men wanting to be treated like kings. *lip purse and shrug* Then be one. Make sure you are a good king. Be book smart, street smart, penny wise, and know your worth as a person, as a man and as a mate. When you know all that then you know that a woman would be very fortunate to have you.
I know a lot of men think that the key is to be rich or to be a roughneck but nope that isn’t it. What attracts most women (myself included) to a roughneck or a man with wealth is their confidence. They just exude it. Think about it fellas, most chicks who end up with a roughneck spend a lot of wasted time trying to change their evil ways. We want that confidence and strength without all the crap that goes along with it i.e. cheating, gambling, drinking, abuse, etc.
Being a good man is one thing but you got to know the dang thing while you’re at it! That should give you the confidence to get up and approach the women you scope out.
*eyerolls* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HAVE SOME FINESSE ABOUT THIS! You approach woman A. You get shot down. Cool. It happens, even to roughnecks and rich guys, they just don’t take it personal. They retreat, regroup and choose a new woman. LET ME TYPE THIS AGAIN: Retreat, regroup and choose again. Please don’t hop from woman A to woman B to woman C etc. You will get shot down again and again. Remember, we are gatherers. We try to see every damn thing! And a lot of the time we do. Five will get you ten that we saw you get shot down, shake it off and move down the assembly line to the next one. That’s not a good look. It looks desperate. You don’t like desperation on a woman, do you?
Now, fellas, you are going to have to work on your approach. I know every man’s idea of a good woman is not the same. You can find a good woman in the hood, on the runway, in the factory, or in corporate America. That’s just to name a few areas. However, you cannot approach all good women the same way. Some men are going to say that’s common sense. *shrug* Actually it isn’t.
You know I have blogged (and laughed) about my neighbor walking the last chick I saw spend the night at his place to the bus stop. He has tried to get at me and then my friends and failed. He keeps using the same approach. He approached us like we were hood chicks. *smh* Ain’t nothing hood about the women I hang out with. We are some bougie chicks. Every last one of us so approaching us that way got him instantly, but politely shot down. I don’t hang out with rude women. Unless we are drunk and then I can’t vouch for them. *chuckle* I, on the otherhand, am pretty tame even when drunk.
Going with the birds of a feather principle, you would think that common sense would have dictated that if his approach didn’t work on me then he should switch it up for my friends. Nope, he didn’t.
But you know what, I’ve had some time to look him over and watch him. He’s actually a decent guy. He has a legitimate job. He looks just as tired coming in as I do, so I know he works hard. He shoveled our walkways during our record setting blizzards this past winter. Just cuz. I know ladies, don’t break those pearls you are clutching. *chuckle* He seems to have gotten over being shot down by me and every woman to come or go from my place now. So from time to time he chats me up. He can actually carry on a halfway decent conversation. IF this guy had approached me several months ago we might be dating now. *smh* MIGHT! I don’t know any vitals on him so I don’t know if he fits my list.
Also, there is just something a little bit sleazy about him. And the other two guys in my complex who are roommates are suspect. I caught them singing love songs to each other again! How many times am I going to walk past your windows and find you singing love songs to a dude at the top of your lungs but when your girlfriend comes over you play all gansta rap? *Riley voice* Nigga, you gay!
Anyway fellas, work on your approach. Make sure you are approaching the woman you want in the right way. Just cuz you are hood at your core doesn’t mean you can’t date one of my bougie azz friends or myself for that matter if bougie chicks are your thing but you are going to have to approach us right.
TRUE STORY: My favorite approach in my memory was let’s call him, Romeo. Like the true gatherer I am I notice everything and I noticed him scope me out like the hunter he is BEFORE he approached. *smirk* I gave him cool points for that alone.
I was standing in a store aisle looking for something. He strolls down the aisle like he hasn’t already found what he was looking for.
*stops to laugh myself silly becuz DJ Jason Priestly just said that Snooky from the Jersey Shore looked like a silver pumpkin in someone’s music video*
Anyway, I step back to let him pass and just as he does he looks at me and says “Hey! You’re cute!” and stops dead in his tracks. *chuckle* Nothing a lady likes more than knowing that she can stop you in your tracks with her looks. Alas, we weren’t compatible but he was fun. *tucks a fond memory away*
I’m willing to bet that would even work on a hood chick. She might think you are a bit corny but if you make her smile you are in. If you don’t, then step back, regroup and come at her (thoughtful pause) I don’t know, however, hood women like to be approached. I just know come in confident and if she (we) aren’t interested then keep it moving. Do it classy cuz you never know where your good woman is. She may be standing off to the side shaking her head at that rude heifer that just shot you down trying to figure out how to get you to notice her or how to approach you. Just tell yourself that you probably missed out on some drama and count yourself lucky. As my mother use to say: Everything that looks good to you ain’t (or isn’t for my bougie men) good for you.
If you know you are a good man then the problem wasn’t you it was them. There are far too many good single women out here to trip over the few that don’t want what you are offering.
You don't have to be rich, but always give her the best of you no matter where you go or what you do. If she celebrates birthdays then remember hers. Let her know you think about her. Don't forget the hell you went through to get her and appreciate her. Make sure she appreciates you! Male and female alike is going through hell on this here dating scene.
And lastly but not leastly if it doesn't work out, don't force it. Let her know that you don't feel the two of you are compatible and move on if she isn't the one. It is called dating for a reason. You date to see IF you two are compatible.
If you are, then do the right thing and settle down into a monogamous relationship and start building a life together filled with the things you BOTH want and need.
That's it. Hope it wasn't too long or complicated.
Happy dating! *tips water bottle at monitor*
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Why I am not angry about this woman and parents like her.
I got a take on this and it would not be popular so I figured I would post it here as opposed to any of my internet communities.
Another parent has taken the lives of their own children. Shequan Duley A woman by the name of Susan Smith was the first person that comes to mind when thinking of parents drowning their own flesh and blood children.
I remember being sad for the kids and condeming this woman then. Now, with this latest mother, Shequan, I don't feel the same anger and sadness.
I am sadened but beneath that I got to wonder if maybe these children aren't better off dead as opposed to living with these psychotic parents. Not all crazy parents kill their kids.
In this world, unless blood runs or something gets blown up we tend to ignore...well...everything. I mean, look at Jeffrey Dahmer. He didn't live in a secluded home. He lived in an apartment. There was a neighbor under him. His neighbors admitted to hearing cries, and fights, and the smell of something rotting in his place. They called the Health Dept and still it would be a while before anyone would stop him. The police didn't particularly investigate crime in the area. The police even brought one of his victims, a 14 year old boy, back to him after he escaped. It was only after the second victim escaped AND was brought back to him that his crimes were discovered.
We tend to look away in this world. We tend to not want to know what goes on behind the doors of our so called friends and neighbors. I believe partly because it is so hard to get justice nowadays.
Innocent until proven guilty. I believe in that. I'd defend it with the last drop of my life force. But that shouldn't mean that you can LIE to save yourself either. If you are guilty you should just fess up. But that is a post for another day.
What I want to talk about are these babies. Everyone wants to say she should have left them with her mother, or at a church, or put them up for adoption. *deep frown* But when women walk away from their parental responsibilities people condemn them for that, too.
And all of those solutions can mess up a person, too.
*head scratch* I'm not condoning what she did in any way, shape or form. I'm just not angry anymore. I'm sad it came to this *pause* but maybe, just maybe it is for the best. There are two less angry black men in the world. Two less angry people in the world. Angry because their mother was crazy behind closed doors and no one knows it but them. No one would believe it but them. Not when she is such a sweet and kindly church going young lady and no one can find a bad thing to say about her or her family. How do you convince the world that your mom is a psycho when the wounds she leaves are all on the inside? Maybe it is just that she don't love you and can't show you love. That is not a crime by the laws of the USA but it is a crime against mankind. An unloved child often times grows into a monster. Bullies, dictators, serial killers, psychotics, etc.
Maybe, just maybe, she saved some lives that didn't even know they needed saving.
Another parent has taken the lives of their own children. Shequan Duley A woman by the name of Susan Smith was the first person that comes to mind when thinking of parents drowning their own flesh and blood children.
I remember being sad for the kids and condeming this woman then. Now, with this latest mother, Shequan, I don't feel the same anger and sadness.
I am sadened but beneath that I got to wonder if maybe these children aren't better off dead as opposed to living with these psychotic parents. Not all crazy parents kill their kids.
In this world, unless blood runs or something gets blown up we tend to ignore...well...everything. I mean, look at Jeffrey Dahmer. He didn't live in a secluded home. He lived in an apartment. There was a neighbor under him. His neighbors admitted to hearing cries, and fights, and the smell of something rotting in his place. They called the Health Dept and still it would be a while before anyone would stop him. The police didn't particularly investigate crime in the area. The police even brought one of his victims, a 14 year old boy, back to him after he escaped. It was only after the second victim escaped AND was brought back to him that his crimes were discovered.
We tend to look away in this world. We tend to not want to know what goes on behind the doors of our so called friends and neighbors. I believe partly because it is so hard to get justice nowadays.
Innocent until proven guilty. I believe in that. I'd defend it with the last drop of my life force. But that shouldn't mean that you can LIE to save yourself either. If you are guilty you should just fess up. But that is a post for another day.
What I want to talk about are these babies. Everyone wants to say she should have left them with her mother, or at a church, or put them up for adoption. *deep frown* But when women walk away from their parental responsibilities people condemn them for that, too.
And all of those solutions can mess up a person, too.
*head scratch* I'm not condoning what she did in any way, shape or form. I'm just not angry anymore. I'm sad it came to this *pause* but maybe, just maybe it is for the best. There are two less angry black men in the world. Two less angry people in the world. Angry because their mother was crazy behind closed doors and no one knows it but them. No one would believe it but them. Not when she is such a sweet and kindly church going young lady and no one can find a bad thing to say about her or her family. How do you convince the world that your mom is a psycho when the wounds she leaves are all on the inside? Maybe it is just that she don't love you and can't show you love. That is not a crime by the laws of the USA but it is a crime against mankind. An unloved child often times grows into a monster. Bullies, dictators, serial killers, psychotics, etc.
Maybe, just maybe, she saved some lives that didn't even know they needed saving.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
One more thing about my old e-crush...
So, I finally got a FB page. I am convinced FB is the devil or of him anyway. *chuckle* Since all the people I follow also follow my old e-crush FB keeps suggesting I friend him! Damn you FB! *shakes fist at minimized FB screen*
I, of course, wouldn't dare approach him. If, however, he approaches me I'll be sure to let him know who he is friending and leave it up to him. *smh chuckling*
I seriously chuckle every time I get that suggestion. Anyway, back to the salt mines.
I, of course, wouldn't dare approach him. If, however, he approaches me I'll be sure to let him know who he is friending and leave it up to him. *smh chuckling*
I seriously chuckle every time I get that suggestion. Anyway, back to the salt mines.
Monday, August 16, 2010
My ex-e-crush formerly know as My Obsession
*chuckle*
How fickle is woman? Or anyone really. Just a real quick note. I saw this guy, right here in Baltimore that looks so much like my ex-e-crush that they could be twins or at the very least brothers. *deep satisfying sigh* I see him on the train in the evening.
Now, according to the ring on the third finger of his left hand he is married but he flirts with his eyes. *smirk* And he is the only one flirting. I am not opening the door to such nonsense but it is nice to note that there is another one who is my 'type' I guess is the word out there. So if there are two, then just maybe there are 3 or more. *hopeful bounce*
*happy sigh* Life is good.
How fickle is woman? Or anyone really. Just a real quick note. I saw this guy, right here in Baltimore that looks so much like my ex-e-crush that they could be twins or at the very least brothers. *deep satisfying sigh* I see him on the train in the evening.
Now, according to the ring on the third finger of his left hand he is married but he flirts with his eyes. *smirk* And he is the only one flirting. I am not opening the door to such nonsense but it is nice to note that there is another one who is my 'type' I guess is the word out there. So if there are two, then just maybe there are 3 or more. *hopeful bounce*
*happy sigh* Life is good.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tyler Perry
Ok, I am a fan of Mr. Tyler Perry. I enjoy his work and I don’t care what his sexual orientation happens to be.
See, Madea reminds me a lot of this lady named Miss Mary I knew growing up. She was a gun packing woman who took no stuff from anyone, husband included. She actually went down to his job and shot at him. She told the story while he sat there and cosigned it. Did he deserve her anger? Yes. Did he deserve to get shot at? Evidently he thought so becuz he bailed her out of jail after she was arrested for shooting at him. *chuckle*
There is just so much in his plays and movies that I can identify with. I just find it amazing that so many black people have had the Cosby Show family upbringing that is totally foreign to me outside of movies, books and tv. I think it’s great for them and that the world has changed so much that some black folk had that great American upbringing. But why do they feel the need to hate on those of us that didn’t grow up like that? Neither me nor those raised like me are hating on them. Maybe Wonderbread land wasn’t as great as we thought it was. All that glitters is not gold, I guess.
Why does any of this even matter to me? What is the point of this? Well, I find it amusing and interesting that so many people have a problem with Tyler Perry and his niche audience of mainly black American women. Folk have a problem with him yet no one is trying to copy his success.
See, in 2008 while most of the world’s financial markets were losing their shirts, pants, shoes, socks and undershirts Tyler Perry made $100,000,000. Yeah, I could have typed $100 million but all those zeros make the point so much better. *shrug* At least I think so.
See, while everyone is trying to figure what is wrong with black women, Tyler figured out what was right with us instead. He figured out what was right first and then did a back end run on what was wrong. It was ingenious. All I can do is applaud him.
See, we may be his niche but his niche has made him to date over $200,000,000 while everyone else is still trying to find their financial footing.
Tyler Perry even made a movie that should have appeased black men. Daddy’s Little Girls. It was his lowest grossing moving to date. *chuckle* If the fellas really wanted to make a statement to the effect that there are still a lot of great black men out here who step up to the plate and handle their affairs like adults then they should have flocked to the movie and bought the DVD, legally.
Why didn’t black women flock to the movie and buy the DVD? I can’t speak for all of us but I know that I just don’t see enough black men like Idris’ character in my real world. *shrug* It is what it is.
Anyhoodles, all this disparaging talk about TP and his niche audience, we sure got a lot of money for some bitter evil heffas in this here niche, got me thinking. First, good thing for him bitter evil heifers control so much money and we ain't stingy. Second, the media and everyone else seems to talk about what’s wrong with us so much lately it made me wonder. I mean, what is the real problem?
Stepping back and looking at everyone else pointing fingers at us I began to wonder what is the question that folk are really asking?
I mean…look at the facts:
43% of black women are unmarried. The article and numbers are from 2008. I expect that number to increase after the 2010 census results are in.
Black women number at less than 10% of the population of the US yet we lead the numbers in newly reported cases of HIV/AIDS. AIDS & HIV Statistics as of 2008
We are reported to be bitter, evil, uppity, etc so our own men don’t want us. At least to hear the media tell it. Google or Bing it.
An unreported number of black men are on the down low (homosexual but refuse to admit it).
Most of the time we are saddled with raising our children on our own with little or no emotional or financial support.
We have poor health. We are more likely than white women to die of breast cancer, colon cancer, and uterine cancer. Not to mention other treatable illnesses.
We are malnourished. When you work for a living you eat what is cheap and fast. Cheap and fast almost always equals bad for you.
Then we have all the same problems that all the finger pointers have: overworked, severely underpaid, underappreciated, under loved, under sexed, sleep deprived… *pauses to flex fingers* Yeah, I could go on but I think I made my point.
When I take all that into consideration I guess I get what people are really asking: Why the fuk haven’t black women cracked the fuk up like the rest of us?
Cuz see, we do have our crackheads, prostitutes, strippers, unwed mothers, thieves, con-artists, and just plain criminals, abused women, and some dummies among us. We still don’t get pissed becuz we got passed over for a promotion and piss in the coffee pot.
We don’t sexually molest one of our Sunday school students, kill her and stuff her in a suitcase (Sandra Cantu). We don’t decide to kill our significant other, set fire to their home and our home and then go out to a deserted parking lot, call 911 and tell them all about it before we commit suicide. We don't even know why.
We don’t decide to walk into a gym and kill the opposite sex becuz we feel rejected by every one of them link. I read his blog before it was taken down. Wow. No where in there does he say to himself that perhaps he should take some of his estimated quarter of million dollars net worth and seek professional help. *smh*
We don’t decide to kill our ex but first let’s kill a bunch of other people that have nothing to do with us DC Snipers.
We don’t barricade ourselves in a home for days and days and days cuz our ex broke up with us, but first we kill her neighbors who try to help. Joe Palczynski
We don’t strap our children into their car seats and push the car into a lake. (Susan Smith)
We don’t fake our own kidnapping to get out of wedding. Real life runaway bride.
Those of us in the public eye ain’t whoring ourselves out to any dyck that wants a ride while being married to someone else. I ain’t even gonna link this cuz there are too many men who have been outed recently to pick one.
We don’t go off the deep end and kill the man who has been lying to us about leaving his wife for us and then commit suicide. Link I mean for real y’all? Those two have become verbs. i.e. Man, I am going to dump this chick before she goes Kazemi on me and I end up McNaired! *smh*
We don’t even feel the need to announce to the world that we have a prejudiced coochay. *shrug*
We don’t do a lot of things that all the finger pointers seem to be doing. Yet the finger pointers seem to have a lot more trouble coping with their problems than we bitter, evil, unmarried, unloved black women. Makes me wonder, what is it that the finger pointers are doing wrong?
Maybe that is the question that the finger pointers should be focusing on.
See, Madea reminds me a lot of this lady named Miss Mary I knew growing up. She was a gun packing woman who took no stuff from anyone, husband included. She actually went down to his job and shot at him. She told the story while he sat there and cosigned it. Did he deserve her anger? Yes. Did he deserve to get shot at? Evidently he thought so becuz he bailed her out of jail after she was arrested for shooting at him. *chuckle*
There is just so much in his plays and movies that I can identify with. I just find it amazing that so many black people have had the Cosby Show family upbringing that is totally foreign to me outside of movies, books and tv. I think it’s great for them and that the world has changed so much that some black folk had that great American upbringing. But why do they feel the need to hate on those of us that didn’t grow up like that? Neither me nor those raised like me are hating on them. Maybe Wonderbread land wasn’t as great as we thought it was. All that glitters is not gold, I guess.
Why does any of this even matter to me? What is the point of this? Well, I find it amusing and interesting that so many people have a problem with Tyler Perry and his niche audience of mainly black American women. Folk have a problem with him yet no one is trying to copy his success.
See, in 2008 while most of the world’s financial markets were losing their shirts, pants, shoes, socks and undershirts Tyler Perry made $100,000,000. Yeah, I could have typed $100 million but all those zeros make the point so much better. *shrug* At least I think so.
See, while everyone is trying to figure what is wrong with black women, Tyler figured out what was right with us instead. He figured out what was right first and then did a back end run on what was wrong. It was ingenious. All I can do is applaud him.
See, we may be his niche but his niche has made him to date over $200,000,000 while everyone else is still trying to find their financial footing.
Tyler Perry even made a movie that should have appeased black men. Daddy’s Little Girls. It was his lowest grossing moving to date. *chuckle* If the fellas really wanted to make a statement to the effect that there are still a lot of great black men out here who step up to the plate and handle their affairs like adults then they should have flocked to the movie and bought the DVD, legally.
Why didn’t black women flock to the movie and buy the DVD? I can’t speak for all of us but I know that I just don’t see enough black men like Idris’ character in my real world. *shrug* It is what it is.
Anyhoodles, all this disparaging talk about TP and his niche audience, we sure got a lot of money for some bitter evil heffas in this here niche, got me thinking. First, good thing for him bitter evil heifers control so much money and we ain't stingy. Second, the media and everyone else seems to talk about what’s wrong with us so much lately it made me wonder. I mean, what is the real problem?
Stepping back and looking at everyone else pointing fingers at us I began to wonder what is the question that folk are really asking?
I mean…look at the facts:
43% of black women are unmarried. The article and numbers are from 2008. I expect that number to increase after the 2010 census results are in.
Black women number at less than 10% of the population of the US yet we lead the numbers in newly reported cases of HIV/AIDS. AIDS & HIV Statistics as of 2008
We are reported to be bitter, evil, uppity, etc so our own men don’t want us. At least to hear the media tell it. Google or Bing it.
An unreported number of black men are on the down low (homosexual but refuse to admit it).
Most of the time we are saddled with raising our children on our own with little or no emotional or financial support.
We have poor health. We are more likely than white women to die of breast cancer, colon cancer, and uterine cancer. Not to mention other treatable illnesses.
We are malnourished. When you work for a living you eat what is cheap and fast. Cheap and fast almost always equals bad for you.
Then we have all the same problems that all the finger pointers have: overworked, severely underpaid, underappreciated, under loved, under sexed, sleep deprived… *pauses to flex fingers* Yeah, I could go on but I think I made my point.
When I take all that into consideration I guess I get what people are really asking: Why the fuk haven’t black women cracked the fuk up like the rest of us?
Cuz see, we do have our crackheads, prostitutes, strippers, unwed mothers, thieves, con-artists, and just plain criminals, abused women, and some dummies among us. We still don’t get pissed becuz we got passed over for a promotion and piss in the coffee pot.
We don’t sexually molest one of our Sunday school students, kill her and stuff her in a suitcase (Sandra Cantu). We don’t decide to kill our significant other, set fire to their home and our home and then go out to a deserted parking lot, call 911 and tell them all about it before we commit suicide. We don't even know why.
We don’t decide to walk into a gym and kill the opposite sex becuz we feel rejected by every one of them link. I read his blog before it was taken down. Wow. No where in there does he say to himself that perhaps he should take some of his estimated quarter of million dollars net worth and seek professional help. *smh*
We don’t decide to kill our ex but first let’s kill a bunch of other people that have nothing to do with us DC Snipers.
We don’t barricade ourselves in a home for days and days and days cuz our ex broke up with us, but first we kill her neighbors who try to help. Joe Palczynski
We don’t strap our children into their car seats and push the car into a lake. (Susan Smith)
We don’t fake our own kidnapping to get out of wedding. Real life runaway bride.
Those of us in the public eye ain’t whoring ourselves out to any dyck that wants a ride while being married to someone else. I ain’t even gonna link this cuz there are too many men who have been outed recently to pick one.
We don’t go off the deep end and kill the man who has been lying to us about leaving his wife for us and then commit suicide. Link I mean for real y’all? Those two have become verbs. i.e. Man, I am going to dump this chick before she goes Kazemi on me and I end up McNaired! *smh*
We don’t even feel the need to announce to the world that we have a prejudiced coochay. *shrug*
We don’t do a lot of things that all the finger pointers seem to be doing. Yet the finger pointers seem to have a lot more trouble coping with their problems than we bitter, evil, unmarried, unloved black women. Makes me wonder, what is it that the finger pointers are doing wrong?
Maybe that is the question that the finger pointers should be focusing on.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
One more thing about black women
While some men, black and otherwise, were kings I think people have completely forgetten that in many cultures kings took many wives/concubines whatever you want to call them. So there were/are far more women with claims to the royal treatment than men. Maybe that is why so many of us black women are "uppity".
Man! I guess we'll have to wait for the rest of the world to catch up to us...
Man! I guess we'll have to wait for the rest of the world to catch up to us...
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
On Dating Black Women, yet again. *sigh*
There seems to be this communication block between black men and black women. It’s like we say something and they hear something else. Then they say something and we hear something completely different. It’s like we are each hearing our inadequacies coming out of the other’s mouth and no matter what is said to the contrary that is all we hear or recognize.
What got me on this train of thought was the recent statement by Slim Thug (ST). If you are oblivious to him and what he said that enraged so many check this link here Slim Thug's take on Black Women. Truthfully, I was oblivious to his existence until my Twitter timeline (TT) exploded with angry tweets directed at him.
Anyhoodles, I’ve already done my post on what I think of men who proclaim to the world that they don’t date black women for xyz reasons On Dating Black Women. So really, I didn’t pay him much mind after I found out he fell into that category. I read his blurb without emotion. Actually it struck me within the first few sentences that perhaps he had tried to approach a black woman in a socio-economic, educational background that was much higher than his own and he had been shot down. I figured that was his issue and blew him off and moved onto the next topic.
But then I really started to think on what he had said and realized that perhaps there was another way to take what he had said. Cuz though I didn’t get emotional about it A LOT of people did. Just three below.
Miss Jia Miss Jia's thoughts on ST.
Shamontiel Shamontiel's Response.
Marc Lamont Hill Response.
I imagine there are more but again, I don’t think that topic deserves that much of my time. Cuz as I see it the problem isn’t just black centric it’s people centric. Over half of US marriages end in divorce. Since 70% or more of black women are unmarried that means that everyone else is having just as many problems keeping a mate as black women are having finding one.
As the government keeps telling the world black folk only make up 12% of the USA. Black women are a little more than half of that 12%. So in reality it would seem that more non-black folk are having a hard time keeping a mate than we are finding one. Given the difficulties associated with the break up and dissolution of a marriage, perhaps that ain’t as bad a thing as people try to make it sound. Just my humble opinion.
Japanese women have surpassed their men in education and therefore in the job marketplace. They are making more, smarter and are putting aside the traditional female roles in Japanese society. In other words, they are refusing to take a backseat to a man when they are working just as hard and making just as much money if not more than their mate. They’d rather do without a mate. They are facing a crisis becuz when you think that way, you don’t have any babies. Soon, there won’t be enough young people to keep up the infrastructure. They are advising Japanese women to do the same thing that ST seems to be advising black women.
Lower your standards when it comes to getting a black man as your mate.
*sigh* I really don’t want to and I really don’t see why I should have to. I hear so many black men telling anyone who will listen that ‘We use to be kings and queens.’ Um, if you knew your history you would know not everyone was a king or queen. SOME of us come from royalty. Just some. Take it down a few thousand guys cuz the way most of you sound I don’t feel any royalty coming off you. *shrug*
A look at the histories in many Caucasian cultures (cuz that’s all I got right now) shows that in the past it was not unusual for a woman to marry beneath her station and vice versa and look what Caucasian folk have achieved, world dominance. Yes, I know how and I ain’t here to discuss this on this post. If we could have done it we would have so I’m not going there right now…if ever.
Caucasian folk often married (marry) different classes to form powerful alliances via money, land, etc. Governments were sometimes built and/or destroyed just due to the right or wrong marital alliances. There was always something to be gained by such alliances.
See I can see another way to look at what ST is saying. Right now there doesn’t seem to be that many successful black men out there. Of those that are successful, some are openingly gay, some are confirmed bachelors, and some are seeking exotic women. It’s a mess out here.
As usual, the onus is being put on black women to continue the black race…by any means necessary. That means marrying someone not as educated, not as cultured, not as refined, not as wise (if you got more than 2 kids with more than 1 baby momma you ain’t too wise in my book), not as articulate and perhaps not even as ambitious. That means knowing that you can run circles around this man in every way possible and still respecting him enough to take the backseat and let him be the head of the household even though your income is the reason the household exists. In essence taking the backseat to a man who didn’t have the sense to try to take the same law abiding road out of poverty that you did. *nervous system attempts to shut down*
I can’t do it. I tried. He got on my last gotdamned nerve.
For those who have more patience and are not quite as spoiled as my simple azz is you are undertaking a wonderful thing for the future.
Basically, as I look at it, what ST might be saying is that black women are going to have put aside our wants and expectations and accept the black men who are available as they are. You, who can do it, will have to marry and/or have children and raise up the children in hopes that the next generation will benefit from your sacrifice. Each generation of black women will have to refine and refine each generation of black men until there actually are a lot of good black men.
In other words, y’all gonna have to be strong black women again.
For those of you who undertake this cause please make note of the following numbers becuz some of you are going to need them:
Alcoholics Anonymous (212) 870-3400
Narcotics Anonymous (818) 773-9999
Gamblers Anonymous (213) 386-8789
House of Ruth 909-988-5559
Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (ooooh a toll free number they mean business)
It’s not going to be easy trying to uplift the black man, mostly on your own and without him knowing it too. You will more than likely never get the credit for it but in the end it will be worth it. Again, I salute you who choose this unselfish, self-sacrificing path.
Good luck with that.
*opens sex toys website*
What got me on this train of thought was the recent statement by Slim Thug (ST). If you are oblivious to him and what he said that enraged so many check this link here Slim Thug's take on Black Women. Truthfully, I was oblivious to his existence until my Twitter timeline (TT) exploded with angry tweets directed at him.
Anyhoodles, I’ve already done my post on what I think of men who proclaim to the world that they don’t date black women for xyz reasons On Dating Black Women. So really, I didn’t pay him much mind after I found out he fell into that category. I read his blurb without emotion. Actually it struck me within the first few sentences that perhaps he had tried to approach a black woman in a socio-economic, educational background that was much higher than his own and he had been shot down. I figured that was his issue and blew him off and moved onto the next topic.
But then I really started to think on what he had said and realized that perhaps there was another way to take what he had said. Cuz though I didn’t get emotional about it A LOT of people did. Just three below.
Miss Jia Miss Jia's thoughts on ST.
Shamontiel Shamontiel's Response.
Marc Lamont Hill Response.
I imagine there are more but again, I don’t think that topic deserves that much of my time. Cuz as I see it the problem isn’t just black centric it’s people centric. Over half of US marriages end in divorce. Since 70% or more of black women are unmarried that means that everyone else is having just as many problems keeping a mate as black women are having finding one.
As the government keeps telling the world black folk only make up 12% of the USA. Black women are a little more than half of that 12%. So in reality it would seem that more non-black folk are having a hard time keeping a mate than we are finding one. Given the difficulties associated with the break up and dissolution of a marriage, perhaps that ain’t as bad a thing as people try to make it sound. Just my humble opinion.
Japanese women have surpassed their men in education and therefore in the job marketplace. They are making more, smarter and are putting aside the traditional female roles in Japanese society. In other words, they are refusing to take a backseat to a man when they are working just as hard and making just as much money if not more than their mate. They’d rather do without a mate. They are facing a crisis becuz when you think that way, you don’t have any babies. Soon, there won’t be enough young people to keep up the infrastructure. They are advising Japanese women to do the same thing that ST seems to be advising black women.
Lower your standards when it comes to getting a black man as your mate.
*sigh* I really don’t want to and I really don’t see why I should have to. I hear so many black men telling anyone who will listen that ‘We use to be kings and queens.’ Um, if you knew your history you would know not everyone was a king or queen. SOME of us come from royalty. Just some. Take it down a few thousand guys cuz the way most of you sound I don’t feel any royalty coming off you. *shrug*
A look at the histories in many Caucasian cultures (cuz that’s all I got right now) shows that in the past it was not unusual for a woman to marry beneath her station and vice versa and look what Caucasian folk have achieved, world dominance. Yes, I know how and I ain’t here to discuss this on this post. If we could have done it we would have so I’m not going there right now…if ever.
Caucasian folk often married (marry) different classes to form powerful alliances via money, land, etc. Governments were sometimes built and/or destroyed just due to the right or wrong marital alliances. There was always something to be gained by such alliances.
See I can see another way to look at what ST is saying. Right now there doesn’t seem to be that many successful black men out there. Of those that are successful, some are openingly gay, some are confirmed bachelors, and some are seeking exotic women. It’s a mess out here.
As usual, the onus is being put on black women to continue the black race…by any means necessary. That means marrying someone not as educated, not as cultured, not as refined, not as wise (if you got more than 2 kids with more than 1 baby momma you ain’t too wise in my book), not as articulate and perhaps not even as ambitious. That means knowing that you can run circles around this man in every way possible and still respecting him enough to take the backseat and let him be the head of the household even though your income is the reason the household exists. In essence taking the backseat to a man who didn’t have the sense to try to take the same law abiding road out of poverty that you did. *nervous system attempts to shut down*
I can’t do it. I tried. He got on my last gotdamned nerve.
For those who have more patience and are not quite as spoiled as my simple azz is you are undertaking a wonderful thing for the future.
Basically, as I look at it, what ST might be saying is that black women are going to have put aside our wants and expectations and accept the black men who are available as they are. You, who can do it, will have to marry and/or have children and raise up the children in hopes that the next generation will benefit from your sacrifice. Each generation of black women will have to refine and refine each generation of black men until there actually are a lot of good black men.
In other words, y’all gonna have to be strong black women again.
For those of you who undertake this cause please make note of the following numbers becuz some of you are going to need them:
Alcoholics Anonymous (212) 870-3400
Narcotics Anonymous (818) 773-9999
Gamblers Anonymous (213) 386-8789
House of Ruth 909-988-5559
Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (ooooh a toll free number they mean business)
It’s not going to be easy trying to uplift the black man, mostly on your own and without him knowing it too. You will more than likely never get the credit for it but in the end it will be worth it. Again, I salute you who choose this unselfish, self-sacrificing path.
Good luck with that.
*opens sex toys website*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
