What I wish...

You know what I wish? That people would get wiser. We have plenty of intelligence but I swear wisdom is in short supply.

Let me give the definition of these two words, thank you dictionary.com.

Intelligence: having good understanding or a high mental capacity; quick to comprehend, as persons or animals: an intelligent student.

Wisdom: the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.

Yeah, that is what I want human beings to attain. Wisdom. Perferably...now. *looks around hopefully*

I mean we have been on this planet long enough I think that more than a handful of people should:
1) have some wisdom
2) be wise enough to listen to those who have come before them and value their opinions
3) stop making the same dumb azz mistakes over and over again
4) realize that violence never beget anything but more violence
5) be able to get the fuk along

Those are just the 5 off the top of my head. I have so much stuff floating around in my head. So many people just living out the same ish over and over.  So many questions.

Why does my niece think that living her life the same way her mother did will end any better for her than it did her mother?
Why does my sister continue to go down the same dead end road thinking that it will get better as it steadily gets worse?
Why does MB3 continue to let the same people who use and abuse her and then complain about it?
Why does MCB continue on the path she is on even though she is miserable?

*pause* Million dollar questions here:

Why do men and women continue to let their significant others destroy them?
Why do women give up their sex and womb to men who are unworthy? Even when forewarned?
Why do men give their seed to women who are unworthy? Even when forewarned?
Why the fuk are some people so damn greedy?
Why do some people have no conscience?
Why can't people figure out why promiscuity is bad for them? I mean come on now, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Herpes and AIDS so far. How many different ways does nature have to say stop fukking around indiscriminately before we finally figure it out. I'm not even going to touch on the moral issues with it.

Multi-million dollar questions here:

Why are most black men dyck centric? I mean the whole of most, not just a lot but most, black men's lives is centered on their dycks and how to put them into as many wholes as possible.

Why are a lot of black women sliding down that same slope with black men and think it is ok as long as they get theirs?

Priceless question here:

Why are so many people mad at God?

*eyeroll and forehead rub* I just keep seeing the same stuff happening over and over again. It's like we are stuck in some primitive civilization loop and the only thing that seems to change in technology. We get more and more intelligent but we don't seem to gain any wisdom while we are getting smarter.

How is that possible?  Or am I just focusing on the wrong stuff? Do I need new people in my life? Less people in my life? Change of scenery? What?

I declare, I am having one of those days where for half a peanut I'd push the button to end the world my dang self if I could. *smh*

The fact that we are still here proves to me that God exists.

2000 years ago Jesus said that there would always be poor people and 2000 years later He is still right. Why doesn't that make anyone angry? Why doesn't that make anyone sad? Why doesn't that make us change?  Are human beings really incapable of evolving beyond where we are now? Really?

There is plenty of food, water, and energy. Yes, there is. I bet we could figure it out if we tried. Why isn't anyone trying to do anything any more than get rich and famous?

*sigh* Is this Hell? Seriously. Is it?

Waiting on the world to change.

*sigh*

I’m about to drop a womanly secret and I am wondering what will happen if I do? Will the cosmos come after me and punish me? Will my Woman Card be revoked and I end up a transgendered eunuch? Or will absolutely nothing happen cuz it is just possible that no one will ever read this little blurb? *shrug*

Let me start with what transpired that got me on this subject. A chick I once worked with and I have kind of struck up a friendly association of sorts. Let’s call her Buffy. *smirk* I don’t tell her anything and she tells me everything. *chuckle* Anyway, I get a text from her first thing one morning and thru a series of text messages I get the latest drama going on in her life.

See, a several months ago she met this guy. They went out on a date and…you know what? I blogged about her briefly in my HIV/AIDS rant. She’s that chick. This is the guy she slept with on the first date. Well, they’ve been dating ever since. He was homeless and sleeping on friends’ couches when she met him. Now she told me at the time that she was not going to allow him to move in with her. She said that. She did. She did. She really did!

So in June she told me that they were now discussing marriage. I thought that was a big leap for people who hadn’t known each other quite 6 months yet, but I said nothing. I let her talk. *shrug* I’ve heard of happy endings in such a short time of dating but I had my doubts about this but I kept them to myself. I let her shine cuz she was really happy.

Then he tells her that he lied when he said he wanted to get married. He had never discussed marriage before and he just wanted to know what it felt like to talk about it.

*Jaw drop accompanied by blank stare*

I am trying to find the words for the way I felt when I read this text and I just can’t. I know I stopped breathing for a few seconds and my mind went blank. And that was actually a good thing becuz since I had no response she could finish her story.

So that was on a Friday. She said she thought she felt ok about it but come Monday the damn broke and she’d been crying ever since. *sympathetic head shake* I could just imagine. By this time now I am getting pissed for her and my mind is thinking some truly vile, evil things about this guy and what should be done to him. But still I am silent. I let her speak on.

I asked her had they talked and she said yes and that she keeps breaking down and crying. She said he found it annoying.

*blinkity blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink, etc.*

My thought processes went something like this: “What the…who the…I…BLANK*

She asked me did I think she had a right to be crying and emotional right now. I was like FUK YEAH! On the inside. On the outside I said something calm and logical to the affect that yes she did have a right to her feelings. She thought she was building a relationship with someone who wanted the same things out of life that she did. She thought she had found the person who she wanted to share her life with and who felt the same about her. To find out now that he was lying was quite cruel. I told her perhaps she should take some time to cry and get her emotions under control. That perhaps she shouldn’t speak to him again until the weekend.

That was when she dropped the real bomb: He’s living with her so she has to see him.

I felt like saying, Bytch, what? This MFer is still living in your home (she’s buying her house) after that shyt he just said? Alive? And not in pieces buried in the backyard, under the front steps, at the dump and various other places I could think of? WTF???? This would be considered a crime of passion and you probably wouldn't even see the inside of a jail cell!

What I actually said I have no idea. I think I blocked it out but I know it wasn’t any of the above. As a matter of fact I think I totally blanked on responding to the fact that she had let this homeless MFer move in with her. So I let her cry it out to me.

So I talked to HKS to make sure I was right in my feeling even if I didn’t speak ill of The One Who Should Be Dead to Buffy. She confirmed my feelings and gave me a little something to take back to Buffy that went like this: You know, I have never had you living in my home before. I let you move in so that I could see what that was like but I was lying and I don’t want you living with me anymore. *tears of laughter*

So I passed this onto Buffy and her text response verbatim:

He is staying with family tonight. Just paranoid that he is going to leave me.

Yeah…I never did answer her. Didn’t know if I would ever talk to her again. Cuz my mind said: You dilly, low self-esteemed bytch! Six months ago this MFer didn’t have a place to lay his head. He has family that took him in tonight but this bytch can’t live with them. He had friends that let him sleep on their couches for a few nights but AGAIN nobody wanted to let his azz live with them. If you really want his azz you can pretty much order this MFer to marry you or be fukking homeless again. I’m betting his annoyance is feigned to cover up for really being scared that he’s about to be homeless again. That’s it. He’s scared you are about to put his azz out on the curb and he’s gonna have to start bouncing from couch to couch again. If his azz is lucky cuz you have no idea if he’s burned any bridges since moving in with you! But you are worried that HE is gonna leave YOU? WTF aren’t you helping his sorry azz pack?

I tossed my cell phone down and walked away in disgust instead of saying any of that. Watch her azz end up on Judge Joe Brown or some damn body. *smh*

But I didn’t talk bad about her…man? Whatever he is I didn’t say anything negative to her about him. Becuz what I know is that after telling me all this and getting me all worked up she would and ultimately did take this MFer back. She at least was admitting it. I’ve had friends who swore off their men time and time again. And time and time again they took their men back. *shrug* It just is what it is. And it’s nothing new. Have you read or seen A Streetcar Named Desire, Eve’s Bayou, or some other movie, book or play where this happens? Those are cases of art imitating life.

But if you are the friend that talked bad about your girlfriend's man guess who is the bad friend? And these women will tell their men which of their girls told them to dump him. Now he mad and hating the girlfriends for just reacting to what HIS WOMAN said.

And uh ladies? If you are doing this mess in hopes that your man won’t ever hook up with one of your friends you can stop thinking that. Dyck neither loves nor hates. It just strokes and ejaculates.

What made me decide to write about it was that one of the guys in my TT was going OFF about his girlfriend’s friends one day. They bitter. They ugly. They this, that and the other. I was cracking up cuz what he didn’t seem to realize was that his girlfriend’s friends are just going in on what HIS GIRLFRIEND told them. *smh*

I am just truly amazed that everyone always goes in on the outside women. No one ever goes to the source. If your man is cheating don’t go to the other woman (or man as the case may be) you should check your man. If your girlfriend’s friends got too much to say about your relationship don’t check the friends check your woman. Period. That is all. *chuckle*

Chile, I was just mad I didn’t have any popcorn cuz my TT was hot! He went on a rant for more than a minute! *LOL* I just kept sitting there hitting the refresh button. *LOL* And these folks are in their 30s and have yet to learn these very simple little facts.

I learned back in college to keep my mouth shut when it came to my girlfriends and their men.

My best story belonged to Lisa. See, Lisa and I both came from a working class family. Our parents couldn’t afford to pay for our college education, books, room and board etc. like most of the friends in our circle. We were still very different but our socio-economic background was similar.

Anyhoodles, around our junior year Lisa settles into a romance with a whore. The only thing that pissed me off about this was that she was letting him drive her car and I know how hard she had worked and scrimped to get that car. But again, I kept my mouth shut.

Our other friends thought she should be told. As is my way, I went along for the ride. I sat in a corner while they spilled the beans on all the whoring he had been doing and I said not one word. It wasn’t a conscious decision to keep my knowledge to myself becuz I actually I knew one of the girls he was whoring with. I saw him coming out her bedroom with my own two eyes. The look on his face was priceless when he saw me by the way.

So they told Lisa. Lisa ran back to her man and asked him was it true. Lisa came back and told them what he told her: You bitter heffas (he actually inserted my friends’ names) need to mind your own damn business. Get your azz a man and stop being in everyone else’s business. The shyt is lies. Blah blah blah blah.

Same stuff I have been hearing ever after. *smh* I heard about it from my friends after she gave them an earful cuz my name wasn’t mentioned. Becuz I didn’t have shyt to say.

Do you know that MFer had the nerve to try to fuk me a few weeks later? Then told me I needed to grow up when I turned his azz down and gave him my reasons for turning him down. *smh* I still can’t believe I had to explain to him why I wouldn’t fuk him. Whatever. Water not just under the bridge but out to sea by now. Given the chance he would have fukked every one of the vocal friends too, I am sure.

I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen this mess replayed over and over. Ain’t a thing new under this here sun. *sigh* I’m tired. Thinking of cutting loose the women in my life cuz I swear, I’m tired of this shyt.

I always thought it strange that my mom didn’t have any girlfriends. As I get older I am seeing the wisdom of that. I wonder how I’d do as a hermit?

I like my drama to be fictional and not coming through my phone, computer screen or walking through my door.

*waves tiredly at the monitor*

My advice to a good man looking for a good woman.

NOTICE: This is only to be done if you are truly tired of the game playing and are ready to find yourself a good woman to settle down with. If you use this info to find a good woman then chances are good that you will. If you do this and you are still playing games I hope you are prepared for the consequences. All that you do (good or bad) will always come right back to you.

NOW THE DISCLAIMER: There are no guarantees in life. I can’t guarantee that you still won’t run into a crud ball chick or two or three or more. I can only offer you the best advice at my disposal from my experiences in my 42 years alive and those of my friends and acquaintances.

Read the title slowly and let it sink in that I am talking about all women. That means black, white and every beautiful color, shape, and size in between.

No matter what color, shape, and size you are looking for in a good woman it is pretty simple to find her.

Now, men, unlike women, for the most part know what they want and don’t want in a woman. Please double check your list now fellas and make certain that it is plausible to find such a woman. I’m saying. A woman with a build like Barbie and a personality like Cinderella would have been raped and murdered before she was even legal. If Barbie were real her proportions would make it impossible for her to walk let alone outrun an attacker. A child with Cinderella’s personality would have been lead into a van to look at the puppies by some pedophile before the age of 10 and never been seen or heard from alive again. Let’s be realistic, the world we live in does not do enough to protect those who are not strong enough to protect themselves.

You got a list. Now make sure that YOU are 80% of everything on the list that you want HER to be. If you are not, then you need to take stock of yourself. Maybe your shortcomings are what is holding you back from finding the good woman you desire. Figure out how to get to that 80% that you need to be before you go one step further. For everyone else, great job fellas! *smiles approvingly*

First, and foremost, stop and take stock of every woman who is around you. I don’t espouse dating in the work place cuz well it may not work out. You might find out that Kim in accounting is a Dominatrix looking for a submissive and you are a Dom looking for a submissive. You don’t need or want all your personal business floating around in the office.

Personally, I suggest getting outdoors on a sunny day and taking a look around. Get yourself some sunglasses becuz in this day of psychopaths, rapists, stalkers and bugaboos, a man just standing and staring at women will be considered a weirdo at best and crazy and unwanted at worst.

Now find a spot and try not to look obvious. I know it will be difficult. You are men. boobies, legs, and azzes in the shape and size you prefer get you all hot and bothered and will make you turn in the direction that the owner is going in. Doing this will give away what your intent is so try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Practice if you must before you go on the hunt for your good woman. It can be done. I have faith in you.

Get your eyes checked. Make sure you are seeing what you think you are seeing so there are no mistakes. Save yourself from having a really awkward moment. You don’t want to be the reason for another good woman going down the bitter path, do you? Of course not! If you believe in God, then He don’t like ugly. If you don’t believe in God, then believe this: what goes around comes right back around. So be careful how you tread.

If you are a blind man then you can probably see far better than a sighted man. I can’t believe you are even here but read on if you like. *welcoming smile and hug*

So fellas, have a look around in your good vantage spot with your shades on. Now just sit there and enjoy the view. Don’t do anything this day or even the next. Just enjoy what it feels like to just watch a pretty girl/woman go by. Yes, I know you want to jump into the fray but I think some of you are battle weary and you need to remember what you are out there hunting for and why.

It is a jungle out here. There are women out here playing games on good men just like there are men out here playing games on good women. I think a lot of us have gotten caught up in this game. Take some time to just remember what is so great about women. *smiling remembering what is so great about men*

So, after you have spent a day or two or more remembering who it is you are looking for and just enjoying the womanly landscapes before you, pick a couple out that you want to approach. I say a couple, becuz of the chance that some that you pick out may have a significant other.

Oh and fellas, make sure you don’t have a significant other before you go on the hunt for your good woman. I, as do most good women, hate that mess. And it is a mess. Get free from your entanglements before seeking a new one. Saves on time, emotion, slashed tires, crank calls, etc. It’s something a good man would do in my and most of the good women I know books.

Now, I’m getting ready to tell you the secret to getting a good woman.

Confidence.

That’s it. If you AREN’T a grown azz man in your own mind, taking care of your own personal and professional life, with 80% of the stuff going on in your life that you want your woman to have going on in her life then you won’t have any confidence in YOU. That weakens you and a good woman can smell weakness.

Why do I want a weak man? I mean really? I hear a lot about men wanting to be treated like kings. *lip purse and shrug* Then be one. Make sure you are a good king. Be book smart, street smart, penny wise, and know your worth as a person, as a man and as a mate. When you know all that then you know that a woman would be very fortunate to have you.

I know a lot of men think that the key is to be rich or to be a roughneck but nope that isn’t it. What attracts most women (myself included) to a roughneck or a man with wealth is their confidence. They just exude it. Think about it fellas, most chicks who end up with a roughneck spend a lot of wasted time trying to change their evil ways. We want that confidence and strength without all the crap that goes along with it i.e. cheating, gambling, drinking, abuse, etc.

Being a good man is one thing but you got to know the dang thing while you’re at it! That should give you the confidence to get up and approach the women you scope out.

*eyerolls* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HAVE SOME FINESSE ABOUT THIS! You approach woman A. You get shot down. Cool. It happens, even to roughnecks and rich guys, they just don’t take it personal. They retreat, regroup and choose a new woman. LET ME TYPE THIS AGAIN: Retreat, regroup and choose again. Please don’t hop from woman A to woman B to woman C etc. You will get shot down again and again. Remember, we are gatherers. We try to see every damn thing! And a lot of the time we do. Five will get you ten that we saw you get shot down, shake it off and move down the assembly line to the next one. That’s not a good look. It looks desperate. You don’t like desperation on a woman, do you?

Now, fellas, you are going to have to work on your approach. I know every man’s idea of a good woman is not the same. You can find a good woman in the hood, on the runway, in the factory, or in corporate America. That’s just to name a few areas. However, you cannot approach all good women the same way. Some men are going to say that’s common sense. *shrug* Actually it isn’t.

You know I have blogged (and laughed) about my neighbor walking the last chick I saw spend the night at his place to the bus stop. He has tried to get at me and then my friends and failed. He keeps using the same approach. He approached us like we were hood chicks. *smh* Ain’t nothing hood about the women I hang out with. We are some bougie chicks. Every last one of us so approaching us that way got him instantly, but politely shot down. I don’t hang out with rude women. Unless we are drunk and then I can’t vouch for them. *chuckle* I, on the otherhand, am pretty tame even when drunk.

Going with the birds of a feather principle, you would think that common sense would have dictated that if his approach didn’t work on me then he should switch it up for my friends. Nope, he didn’t.

But you know what, I’ve had some time to look him over and watch him. He’s actually a decent guy. He has a legitimate job. He looks just as tired coming in as I do, so I know he works hard. He shoveled our walkways during our record setting blizzards this past winter. Just cuz. I know ladies, don’t break those pearls you are clutching. *chuckle* He seems to have gotten over being shot down by me and every woman to come or go from my place now. So from time to time he chats me up. He can actually carry on a halfway decent conversation. IF this guy had approached me several months ago we might be dating now. *smh* MIGHT! I don’t know any vitals on him so I don’t know if he fits my list.

Also, there is just something a little bit sleazy about him. And the other two guys in my complex who are roommates are suspect. I caught them singing love songs to each other again! How many times am I going to walk past your windows and find you singing love songs to a dude at the top of your lungs but when your girlfriend comes over you play all gansta rap? *Riley voice* Nigga, you gay!

Anyway fellas, work on your approach. Make sure you are approaching the woman you want in the right way. Just cuz you are hood at your core doesn’t mean you can’t date one of my bougie azz friends or myself for that matter if bougie chicks are your thing but you are going to have to approach us right.

TRUE STORY: My favorite approach in my memory was let’s call him, Romeo. Like the true gatherer I am I notice everything and I noticed him scope me out like the hunter he is BEFORE he approached. *smirk* I gave him cool points for that alone.

I was standing in a store aisle looking for something. He strolls down the aisle like he hasn’t already found what he was looking for.

*stops to laugh myself silly becuz DJ Jason Priestly just said that Snooky from the Jersey Shore looked like a silver pumpkin in someone’s music video*

Anyway, I step back to let him pass and just as he does he looks at me and says “Hey! You’re cute!” and stops dead in his tracks. *chuckle* Nothing a lady likes more than knowing that she can stop you in your tracks with her looks. Alas, we weren’t compatible but he was fun. *tucks a fond memory away*

I’m willing to bet that would even work on a hood chick. She might think you are a bit corny but if you make her smile you are in. If you don’t, then step back, regroup and come at her (thoughtful pause) I don’t know, however, hood women like to be approached. I just know come in confident and if she (we) aren’t interested then keep it moving. Do it classy cuz you never know where your good woman is. She may be standing off to the side shaking her head at that rude heifer that just shot you down trying to figure out how to get you to notice her or how to approach you. Just tell yourself that you probably missed out on some drama and count yourself lucky. As my mother use to say: Everything that looks good to you ain’t (or isn’t for my bougie men) good for you.

If you know you are a good man then the problem wasn’t you it was them. There are far too many good single women out here to trip over the few that don’t want what you are offering.

You don't have to be rich, but always give her the best of you no matter where you go or what you do. If she celebrates birthdays then remember hers. Let her know you think about her. Don't forget the hell you went through to get her and appreciate her. Make sure she appreciates you! Male and female alike is going through hell on this here dating scene.

And lastly but not leastly if it doesn't work out, don't force it. Let her know that you don't feel the two of you are compatible and move on if she isn't the one. It is called dating for a reason. You date to see IF you two are compatible.

If you are, then do the right thing and settle down into a monogamous relationship and start building a life together filled with the things you BOTH want and need.

That's it. Hope it wasn't too long or complicated.

Happy dating! *tips water bottle at monitor*

Why I am not angry about this woman and parents like her.

I got a take on this and it would not be popular so I figured I would post it here as opposed to any of my internet communities.

Another parent has taken the lives of their own children. Shequan Duley A woman by the name of Susan Smith was the first person that comes to mind when thinking of parents drowning their own flesh and blood children.

I remember being sad for the kids and condeming this woman then.  Now, with this latest mother, Shequan, I don't feel the same anger and sadness.

I am sadened but beneath that I got to wonder if maybe these children aren't better off dead as opposed to living with these psychotic parents. Not all crazy parents kill their kids.

In this world, unless blood runs or something gets blown up we tend to ignore...well...everything. I mean, look at Jeffrey Dahmer. He didn't live in a secluded home. He lived in an apartment. There was a neighbor under him. His neighbors admitted to hearing cries, and fights, and the smell of something rotting in his place. They called the Health Dept and still it would be a while before anyone would stop him.  The police didn't particularly investigate crime in the area. The police even brought one of his victims, a 14 year old boy, back to him after he escaped. It was only after the second victim escaped AND was brought back to him that his crimes were discovered.

We tend to look away in this world.  We tend to not want to know what goes on behind the doors of our so called friends and neighbors. I believe partly because it is so hard to get justice nowadays.

Innocent until proven guilty.  I believe in that. I'd defend it with the last drop of my life force. But that shouldn't mean that you can LIE to save yourself either. If you are guilty you should just fess up. But that is a post for another day.

What I want to talk about are these babies. Everyone wants to say she should have left them with her mother, or at a church, or put them up for adoption. *deep frown* But when women walk away from their parental responsibilities people condemn them for that, too.

And all of those solutions can mess up a person, too.

*head scratch* I'm not condoning what she did in any way, shape or form. I'm just not angry anymore. I'm sad it came to this *pause* but maybe, just maybe it is for the best. There are two less angry black men in the world. Two less angry people in the world. Angry because their mother was crazy behind closed doors and no one knows it but them. No one would believe it but them.  Not when she is such a sweet and kindly church going young lady and no one can find a bad thing to say about her or her family.  How do you convince the world that your mom is a psycho when the wounds she leaves are all on the inside? Maybe it is just that she don't love you and can't show you love. That is not a crime by the laws of the USA but it is a crime against mankind. An unloved child often times grows into a monster. Bullies, dictators, serial killers, psychotics, etc.

Maybe, just maybe, she saved some lives that didn't even know they needed saving.

One more thing about my old e-crush...

So, I finally got a FB page. I am convinced FB is the devil or of him anyway. *chuckle* Since all the people I follow also follow my old e-crush FB keeps suggesting I friend him! Damn you FB! *shakes fist at minimized FB screen*

I, of course, wouldn't dare approach him. If, however, he approaches me I'll be sure to let him know who he is friending and leave it up to him. *smh chuckling*

I seriously chuckle every time I get that suggestion. Anyway, back to the salt mines.

My ex-e-crush formerly know as My Obsession

*chuckle*

How fickle is woman? Or anyone really. Just a real quick note. I saw this guy, right here in Baltimore that looks so much like my ex-e-crush that they could be twins or at the very least brothers. *deep satisfying sigh* I see him on the train in the evening.

Now, according to the ring on the third finger of his left hand he is married but he flirts with his eyes. *smirk* And he is the only one flirting. I am not opening the door to such nonsense but it is nice to note that there is another one who is my 'type' I guess is the word out there. So if there are two, then just maybe there are 3 or more. *hopeful bounce*

*happy sigh* Life is good.

Just random thoughts

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