NOTICE: This is only to be done if you are truly tired of the game playing and are ready to find yourself a good woman to settle down with. If you use this info to find a good woman then chances are good that you will. If you do this and you are still playing games I hope you are prepared for the consequences. All that you do (good or bad) will always come right back to you.
NOW THE DISCLAIMER: There are no guarantees in life. I can’t guarantee that you still won’t run into a crud ball chick or two or three or more. I can only offer you the best advice at my disposal from my experiences in my 42 years alive and those of my friends and acquaintances.
Read the title slowly and let it sink in that I am talking about all women. That means black, white and every beautiful color, shape, and size in between.
No matter what color, shape, and size you are looking for in a good woman it is pretty simple to find her.
Now, men, unlike women, for the most part know what they want and don’t want in a woman. Please double check your list now fellas and make certain that it is plausible to find such a woman. I’m saying. A woman with a build like Barbie and a personality like Cinderella would have been raped and murdered before she was even legal. If Barbie were real her proportions would make it impossible for her to walk let alone outrun an attacker. A child with Cinderella’s personality would have been lead into a van to look at the puppies by some pedophile before the age of 10 and never been seen or heard from alive again. Let’s be realistic, the world we live in does not do enough to protect those who are not strong enough to protect themselves.
You got a list. Now make sure that YOU are 80% of everything on the list that you want HER to be. If you are not, then you need to take stock of yourself. Maybe your shortcomings are what is holding you back from finding the good woman you desire. Figure out how to get to that 80% that you need to be before you go one step further. For everyone else, great job fellas! *smiles approvingly*
First, and foremost, stop and take stock of every woman who is around you. I don’t espouse dating in the work place cuz well it may not work out. You might find out that Kim in accounting is a Dominatrix looking for a submissive and you are a Dom looking for a submissive. You don’t need or want all your personal business floating around in the office.
Personally, I suggest getting outdoors on a sunny day and taking a look around. Get yourself some sunglasses becuz in this day of psychopaths, rapists, stalkers and bugaboos, a man just standing and staring at women will be considered a weirdo at best and crazy and unwanted at worst.
Now find a spot and try not to look obvious. I know it will be difficult. You are men. boobies, legs, and azzes in the shape and size you prefer get you all hot and bothered and will make you turn in the direction that the owner is going in. Doing this will give away what your intent is so try to be as inconspicuous as possible. Practice if you must before you go on the hunt for your good woman. It can be done. I have faith in you.
Get your eyes checked. Make sure you are seeing what you think you are seeing so there are no mistakes. Save yourself from having a really awkward moment. You don’t want to be the reason for another good woman going down the bitter path, do you? Of course not! If you believe in God, then He don’t like ugly. If you don’t believe in God, then believe this: what goes around comes right back around. So be careful how you tread.
If you are a blind man then you can probably see far better than a sighted man. I can’t believe you are even here but read on if you like. *welcoming smile and hug*
So fellas, have a look around in your good vantage spot with your shades on. Now just sit there and enjoy the view. Don’t do anything this day or even the next. Just enjoy what it feels like to just watch a pretty girl/woman go by. Yes, I know you want to jump into the fray but I think some of you are battle weary and you need to remember what you are out there hunting for and why.
It is a jungle out here. There are women out here playing games on good men just like there are men out here playing games on good women. I think a lot of us have gotten caught up in this game. Take some time to just remember what is so great about women. *smiling remembering what is so great about men*
So, after you have spent a day or two or more remembering who it is you are looking for and just enjoying the womanly landscapes before you, pick a couple out that you want to approach. I say a couple, becuz of the chance that some that you pick out may have a significant other.
Oh and fellas, make sure you don’t have a significant other before you go on the hunt for your good woman. I, as do most good women, hate that mess. And it is a mess. Get free from your entanglements before seeking a new one. Saves on time, emotion, slashed tires, crank calls, etc. It’s something a good man would do in my and most of the good women I know books.
Now, I’m getting ready to tell you the secret to getting a good woman.
Confidence.
That’s it. If you AREN’T a grown azz man in your own mind, taking care of your own personal and professional life, with 80% of the stuff going on in your life that you want your woman to have going on in her life then you won’t have any confidence in YOU. That weakens you and a good woman can smell weakness.
Why do I want a weak man? I mean really? I hear a lot about men wanting to be treated like kings. *lip purse and shrug* Then be one. Make sure you are a good king. Be book smart, street smart, penny wise, and know your worth as a person, as a man and as a mate. When you know all that then you know that a woman would be very fortunate to have you.
I know a lot of men think that the key is to be rich or to be a roughneck but nope that isn’t it. What attracts most women (myself included) to a roughneck or a man with wealth is their confidence. They just exude it. Think about it fellas, most chicks who end up with a roughneck spend a lot of wasted time trying to change their evil ways. We want that confidence and strength without all the crap that goes along with it i.e. cheating, gambling, drinking, abuse, etc.
Being a good man is one thing but you got to know the dang thing while you’re at it! That should give you the confidence to get up and approach the women you scope out.
*eyerolls* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HAVE SOME FINESSE ABOUT THIS! You approach woman A. You get shot down. Cool. It happens, even to roughnecks and rich guys, they just don’t take it personal. They retreat, regroup and choose a new woman. LET ME TYPE THIS AGAIN: Retreat, regroup and choose again. Please don’t hop from woman A to woman B to woman C etc. You will get shot down again and again. Remember, we are gatherers. We try to see every damn thing! And a lot of the time we do. Five will get you ten that we saw you get shot down, shake it off and move down the assembly line to the next one. That’s not a good look. It looks desperate. You don’t like desperation on a woman, do you?
Now, fellas, you are going to have to work on your approach. I know every man’s idea of a good woman is not the same. You can find a good woman in the hood, on the runway, in the factory, or in corporate America. That’s just to name a few areas. However, you cannot approach all good women the same way. Some men are going to say that’s common sense. *shrug* Actually it isn’t.
You know I have blogged (and laughed) about my neighbor walking the last chick I saw spend the night at his place to the bus stop. He has tried to get at me and then my friends and failed. He keeps using the same approach. He approached us like we were hood chicks. *smh* Ain’t nothing hood about the women I hang out with. We are some bougie chicks. Every last one of us so approaching us that way got him instantly, but politely shot down. I don’t hang out with rude women. Unless we are drunk and then I can’t vouch for them. *chuckle* I, on the otherhand, am pretty tame even when drunk.
Going with the birds of a feather principle, you would think that common sense would have dictated that if his approach didn’t work on me then he should switch it up for my friends. Nope, he didn’t.
But you know what, I’ve had some time to look him over and watch him. He’s actually a decent guy. He has a legitimate job. He looks just as tired coming in as I do, so I know he works hard. He shoveled our walkways during our record setting blizzards this past winter. Just cuz. I know ladies, don’t break those pearls you are clutching. *chuckle* He seems to have gotten over being shot down by me and every woman to come or go from my place now. So from time to time he chats me up. He can actually carry on a halfway decent conversation. IF this guy had approached me several months ago we might be dating now. *smh* MIGHT! I don’t know any vitals on him so I don’t know if he fits my list.
Also, there is just something a little bit sleazy about him. And the other two guys in my complex who are roommates are suspect. I caught them singing love songs to each other again! How many times am I going to walk past your windows and find you singing love songs to a dude at the top of your lungs but when your girlfriend comes over you play all gansta rap? *Riley voice* Nigga, you gay!
Anyway fellas, work on your approach. Make sure you are approaching the woman you want in the right way. Just cuz you are hood at your core doesn’t mean you can’t date one of my bougie azz friends or myself for that matter if bougie chicks are your thing but you are going to have to approach us right.
TRUE STORY: My favorite approach in my memory was let’s call him, Romeo. Like the true gatherer I am I notice everything and I noticed him scope me out like the hunter he is BEFORE he approached. *smirk* I gave him cool points for that alone.
I was standing in a store aisle looking for something. He strolls down the aisle like he hasn’t already found what he was looking for.
*stops to laugh myself silly becuz DJ Jason Priestly just said that Snooky from the Jersey Shore looked like a silver pumpkin in someone’s music video*
Anyway, I step back to let him pass and just as he does he looks at me and says “Hey! You’re cute!” and stops dead in his tracks. *chuckle* Nothing a lady likes more than knowing that she can stop you in your tracks with her looks. Alas, we weren’t compatible but he was fun. *tucks a fond memory away*
I’m willing to bet that would even work on a hood chick. She might think you are a bit corny but if you make her smile you are in. If you don’t, then step back, regroup and come at her (thoughtful pause) I don’t know, however, hood women like to be approached. I just know come in confident and if she (we) aren’t interested then keep it moving. Do it classy cuz you never know where your good woman is. She may be standing off to the side shaking her head at that rude heifer that just shot you down trying to figure out how to get you to notice her or how to approach you. Just tell yourself that you probably missed out on some drama and count yourself lucky. As my mother use to say: Everything that looks good to you ain’t (or isn’t for my bougie men) good for you.
If you know you are a good man then the problem wasn’t you it was them. There are far too many good single women out here to trip over the few that don’t want what you are offering.
You don't have to be rich, but always give her the best of you no matter where you go or what you do. If she celebrates birthdays then remember hers. Let her know you think about her. Don't forget the hell you went through to get her and appreciate her. Make sure she appreciates you! Male and female alike is going through hell on this here dating scene.
And lastly but not leastly if it doesn't work out, don't force it. Let her know that you don't feel the two of you are compatible and move on if she isn't the one. It is called dating for a reason. You date to see IF you two are compatible.
If you are, then do the right thing and settle down into a monogamous relationship and start building a life together filled with the things you BOTH want and need.
That's it. Hope it wasn't too long or complicated.
Happy dating! *tips water bottle at monitor*
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