*sits up from banging forehead against desk*
I miss My Obsession.
It's been a week to the day since we said goodbye and I still miss him as much now as I did last week. What the...?
The voices in my head are not happy with me at all. Aye!
I keep trying to rationalize these thoughts away. This is, afterall, my busy time of the year. I'll be swamped until at least May. I really have no time to dedicate to My Obsession anyway.
I miss My Obsession anyway.
I've got so much work to do. Not to mention my friends seem to really want to hang out at each other's homes and cook and laugh and just exhale.
I still miss My Obsession.
My family has DRAMA! I keep waiting to see the news trucks outside my niece's home. I really need to focus on family. Really. I do.
I. MISS. MY. OBSESSION.
Ugh!
I'm gonna go bang my head against a wall now.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Curiously venting...
Ok, just venting for a second here.
A little something something about me. I believe in ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’
No, people don’t always treat me this way but I ain’t living for them. *shrug* I sleep pretty well and I know what goes around comes around. And, I have been BLESSED! Wish I knew how to put sparkles around that last word.
So, since I have no children to prepare for on Christmas, I have always volunteered to be the person or one of the persons holding down the fort, so to speak, on Christmas Eve at all my jobs.
This year was no different.
First of December, my boss went around doing a check on who would be working on Christmas Eve. Now, the employer I currently have closes half day every Christmas Eve. It’s part of our holiday schedule. So it really is no hardship to work on Christmas Eve in my present job. There are one or two departments that work the whole day because of the work they do. The employees in those departments just take that half day at another time at their discretion.
Hoe-kay!
Every single one of my co-workers had Christmas Eve stuff to do. People were traveling, people were entertaining, people were being entertained, etc. So, my boss was about to tell the newest employee that he would be there Christmas Eve alone. I was coming around the corner on the way back to my office when she was talking to him. So I piped in that I’d be happy to come in. It just makes sense really because I can do everything from review contracts, submit modifications, do preliminary budgets, cost transfers, capital asset purchases, etc.
The new guy is a financial analyst (FA) and for obvious reasons there is a limit on the things they can do in my company.
My boss thanked me for volunteering to come in and let the new guy off the hook.
So for weeks everyone was happily chatting away about their holiday plans. My family gets together on Christmas Eve but not until the evening.
My boss’ last day was Tuesday and everyone still had their plans in place. I would be the only person working on Thursday 12/24/09.
Then Wednesday morning dawned. Suddenly people were changing their plans. Now, I don’t particularly care that people decided to work on Wednesday. Not at all. What got me is that had they spoken up on Tuesday then I could have asked my boss for Thursday off. Since both my boss and her second in command were off there was no one to approve my request.
Wednesday night you could have fried an egg on my forehead I was so mad. I mean, my boss is great. Tuesday afternoon she went around checking to be sure everyone’s plans including mine hadn’t changed because she knew she would not be in Wednesday or Thursday. Everyone piped in they still had plans!
Then Wednesday people started changing their minds. *truly evil side eye all the way around*
Thursday morning comes. I tell myself I am blessed just to have a job and bounce into work as usual. But…there are only 3 of us there. *blink blink* Of the 3 of us, only two of us are really working. I always got stuff to do. I need an administrative assistant to help me but in these lean times it’s just not in the budget. So I do it all which keeps me busy and mostly out of trouble. Mostly.
So around 11 am, I look up and one of the people who said they were coming in strolls in. Again *blink blink*. No, 11 am isn't anyone's normal time to show up for work.
I am just curious. If your employer says you can leave between 12:00-1:00 pm, what was the point in showing up at 11:00 am and then telling everyone you’ll be working until 5-7 pm? Doing what exactly cuz when I say everything and everyone shuts down that’s exactly what I mean. I mean the computer system is up but after you do a cost transfer, etc, there are no bosses there to approve them. And even if you called my boss at home and she signed into her computer from home and approved your work, there’s no one in purchasing, HR, accounts payables/receivables, etc to process it.
Yeah…what was that all about?
Me and my other coworker, who was actually working, just kind of gave each other a wise side eye on the sly and went back to work. I had almost 300 emails in my inbox and I was trying to get them down to 200 by noon and I didn’t have time for those trying to get over.
Why do people try to get over in such small insignificant ways? I mean really, you are trying to cheat your employer out of half a day’s pay? Why? What exactly is the victory in that?
I know people who say they do it. They seem happy about it. The one person who tells me that they do it a lot, TPL, is always at the whim of his cell becuz he never knows when someone is calling to check up on him and he has to rush back to the job. *smh*
I am at my job during the hours that I agreed upon. When I leave work I am under no obligation to answer my phone after I leave. I can walk away from work and leave work there. I don’t have to worry about getting caught. Good grief! I get 4 weeks vacation and 12 sick days/year. TPL gets 6 WEEKS VACATION and 12 sick days/year. What is the point of sneaking time off?
And he ain’t the only one. He is just one of the ones bragging about it to me. *shrug*
Nothing to brag about as far as I am concerned. If you are so smart that you can get over in these small little insignificant ways on your employer then why don’t you put your considerable smarts to good use? Why not figure out how to build a better rat trap? This is Bmore, baby, we got rats!
Why not invent the next modern marvel? The super computer that will stop all computer viruses in their tracks? Improve the internet? Cure cancer? Invent a way to fix the holes in the ozone layer? Why not write that Pulitzer Prize winning novel? World peace, anyone? I mean…since you so smart and all.
*sighing and smh chuckling* Okay. I am finished venting for the moment.
A little something something about me. I believe in ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’
No, people don’t always treat me this way but I ain’t living for them. *shrug* I sleep pretty well and I know what goes around comes around. And, I have been BLESSED! Wish I knew how to put sparkles around that last word.
So, since I have no children to prepare for on Christmas, I have always volunteered to be the person or one of the persons holding down the fort, so to speak, on Christmas Eve at all my jobs.
This year was no different.
First of December, my boss went around doing a check on who would be working on Christmas Eve. Now, the employer I currently have closes half day every Christmas Eve. It’s part of our holiday schedule. So it really is no hardship to work on Christmas Eve in my present job. There are one or two departments that work the whole day because of the work they do. The employees in those departments just take that half day at another time at their discretion.
Hoe-kay!
Every single one of my co-workers had Christmas Eve stuff to do. People were traveling, people were entertaining, people were being entertained, etc. So, my boss was about to tell the newest employee that he would be there Christmas Eve alone. I was coming around the corner on the way back to my office when she was talking to him. So I piped in that I’d be happy to come in. It just makes sense really because I can do everything from review contracts, submit modifications, do preliminary budgets, cost transfers, capital asset purchases, etc.
The new guy is a financial analyst (FA) and for obvious reasons there is a limit on the things they can do in my company.
My boss thanked me for volunteering to come in and let the new guy off the hook.
So for weeks everyone was happily chatting away about their holiday plans. My family gets together on Christmas Eve but not until the evening.
My boss’ last day was Tuesday and everyone still had their plans in place. I would be the only person working on Thursday 12/24/09.
Then Wednesday morning dawned. Suddenly people were changing their plans. Now, I don’t particularly care that people decided to work on Wednesday. Not at all. What got me is that had they spoken up on Tuesday then I could have asked my boss for Thursday off. Since both my boss and her second in command were off there was no one to approve my request.
Wednesday night you could have fried an egg on my forehead I was so mad. I mean, my boss is great. Tuesday afternoon she went around checking to be sure everyone’s plans including mine hadn’t changed because she knew she would not be in Wednesday or Thursday. Everyone piped in they still had plans!
Then Wednesday people started changing their minds. *truly evil side eye all the way around*
Thursday morning comes. I tell myself I am blessed just to have a job and bounce into work as usual. But…there are only 3 of us there. *blink blink* Of the 3 of us, only two of us are really working. I always got stuff to do. I need an administrative assistant to help me but in these lean times it’s just not in the budget. So I do it all which keeps me busy and mostly out of trouble. Mostly.
So around 11 am, I look up and one of the people who said they were coming in strolls in. Again *blink blink*. No, 11 am isn't anyone's normal time to show up for work.
I am just curious. If your employer says you can leave between 12:00-1:00 pm, what was the point in showing up at 11:00 am and then telling everyone you’ll be working until 5-7 pm? Doing what exactly cuz when I say everything and everyone shuts down that’s exactly what I mean. I mean the computer system is up but after you do a cost transfer, etc, there are no bosses there to approve them. And even if you called my boss at home and she signed into her computer from home and approved your work, there’s no one in purchasing, HR, accounts payables/receivables, etc to process it.
Yeah…what was that all about?
Me and my other coworker, who was actually working, just kind of gave each other a wise side eye on the sly and went back to work. I had almost 300 emails in my inbox and I was trying to get them down to 200 by noon and I didn’t have time for those trying to get over.
Why do people try to get over in such small insignificant ways? I mean really, you are trying to cheat your employer out of half a day’s pay? Why? What exactly is the victory in that?
I know people who say they do it. They seem happy about it. The one person who tells me that they do it a lot, TPL, is always at the whim of his cell becuz he never knows when someone is calling to check up on him and he has to rush back to the job. *smh*
I am at my job during the hours that I agreed upon. When I leave work I am under no obligation to answer my phone after I leave. I can walk away from work and leave work there. I don’t have to worry about getting caught. Good grief! I get 4 weeks vacation and 12 sick days/year. TPL gets 6 WEEKS VACATION and 12 sick days/year. What is the point of sneaking time off?
And he ain’t the only one. He is just one of the ones bragging about it to me. *shrug*
Nothing to brag about as far as I am concerned. If you are so smart that you can get over in these small little insignificant ways on your employer then why don’t you put your considerable smarts to good use? Why not figure out how to build a better rat trap? This is Bmore, baby, we got rats!
Why not invent the next modern marvel? The super computer that will stop all computer viruses in their tracks? Improve the internet? Cure cancer? Invent a way to fix the holes in the ozone layer? Why not write that Pulitzer Prize winning novel? World peace, anyone? I mean…since you so smart and all.
*sighing and smh chuckling* Okay. I am finished venting for the moment.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Bouncing back
Oh yeah...I was sad on 12/19/09. I took a nap and I am fine now. *chuckle*
Like I said. I wasn't in love or anything. I was just having fun. I'll miss the fun I had with him. And I'll miss the blog we hung out on. I decided to stop going there. It would just be too weird.
Well, this frees me up to blog more. Mercy! Like I need to get more of my ideas out of my head and put down somewhere public.
Yikes! *smirking*
Like I said. I wasn't in love or anything. I was just having fun. I'll miss the fun I had with him. And I'll miss the blog we hung out on. I decided to stop going there. It would just be too weird.
Well, this frees me up to blog more. Mercy! Like I need to get more of my ideas out of my head and put down somewhere public.
Yikes! *smirking*
The Truly Small Penis-Not Suitable For Work
Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.
I feel the need to post this video here becuz I owe an apology to one of my girls. I just don’t know who.
Ok, see what had happen was, one day me and a few of my girls were sitting around talking. Somehow the conversation shifted to discussing men with smaller than average penises. I ain’t not never had a guy with a penis I considered small. I will give my theory about that on another post. I just hope I remember to do so one day as I am getting old. *giving the evil eye to all y’all smart azzes out there*
Anyhoo, after I said that I had never had one of them, one of my girls told me about this guy who she said had a penis so small it was almost an innie. After sex with the guy she felt dirty like she had participated in a lesbian sex act (no offense to the gay and/or lesbian community I am just relating the facts as they were related to me) and that afterward she went home and just scrubbed herself raw.
Me being the retarded individual I am, I laughed myself silly. I couldn’t relate. I couldn’t understand. I had never in my life seen anything that small. And I have changed the diapers of 5 nephews, a godson, and a host of great nephews thanks to my trifling azz nephew whose name rhymes with pony.
All that to say I ain’t not never seen a dyck this small before.
Add to the fact that all women are built differently. I thought maybe he was just small to her. I got a friend who we have both slept with the same guy (at different times you nasty mindz) and she says he wasn’t big enough. He blew my back out and I had to beg him not to go so deep. *shrug* We are all built different. That’s my reason for laughing and I am sticking to it.
So, I know I hurt my girl’s feelings laughing at her like I did. I knew it then and didn’t care. Now that I have seen what she was talking about she has my sincerest apologies. But I can’t remember who I wronged (told you I am getting old) and no one will fess up to the confession. I don’t blame her cuz I did laugh pretty hard. Now I am just horrified for her.
Girrrrrrrl! If you fess up I owe you dinner and drinks and you can cry all about it on my shoulder. Shoot! You more woman than me cuz back in the day my simple azz would have laughed him out the room. Especially with a couple drinks in me. We would not have been rubbing clits. Cuz as of this moment he has an enlarged clit. That thing does not classify as a dyck.
That said. If The Donald or someone with Donaldesque pockets shows up with a dyck that small (and no toys or attachments), with credit cards in my name, stocks in my name, bonds in my name, a fat bank account in my name, the complete white Louis Vuitton luggage set with my name engraved in gold full of cash, the deed to the chalet in my name and a limo ready to whisk me off to a furrier, I promise you it will be the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life.
Bite me. Judge me. I don't care.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
So this is how it really ends.
I knew no good could come of this and I was right. I hate being right this time. I was really enjoying My Obsession. I really really was.
So, this is what happened.
It was snowing up a storm in my part of the world.
We chatted part of the morning and some of the afternoon but the servers were slow. I imagine a lot of snowed in folk were online slowing things down.
We recently started IMing. I had an old email account with the same domain as his. I should have gotten a new one. I just didn’t want to have to keep up with yet one more account. I should have gotten a new one. I’ve had that account since 2000. A time when I was very carefree and didn’t think I needed to hide my identity. I sent him an email from that account and up popped my real name.
Damn.
That is all.
He looked me up online to see if he could find a picture and of course came across all my vital information.
All I wanna know is why couldn’t he just wait? Yeah. I inadvertently sent him my name. But I believe he knew that. Why couldn’t he just wait?
He let me know what he had done and what he had found and apologized but…
Why couldn’t he just wait?
I don’t even wanna talk to him anymore.
I don’t even know how long I’ll keep blogging. He just took away my feeling of empowerment.
*SIGH*
Why couldn’t he just wait?
I feel so very sad.
So, this is what happened.
It was snowing up a storm in my part of the world.
We chatted part of the morning and some of the afternoon but the servers were slow. I imagine a lot of snowed in folk were online slowing things down.
We recently started IMing. I had an old email account with the same domain as his. I should have gotten a new one. I just didn’t want to have to keep up with yet one more account. I should have gotten a new one. I’ve had that account since 2000. A time when I was very carefree and didn’t think I needed to hide my identity. I sent him an email from that account and up popped my real name.
Damn.
That is all.
He looked me up online to see if he could find a picture and of course came across all my vital information.
All I wanna know is why couldn’t he just wait? Yeah. I inadvertently sent him my name. But I believe he knew that. Why couldn’t he just wait?
He let me know what he had done and what he had found and apologized but…
Why couldn’t he just wait?
I don’t even wanna talk to him anymore.
I don’t even know how long I’ll keep blogging. He just took away my feeling of empowerment.
*SIGH*
Why couldn’t he just wait?
I feel so very sad.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Bitter black women
Hoe-Kay!
I am sitting here on my day off finally celebrating my birthday. My day of reflection over the last year of my life and previous years. Meditating on my life. Where I’ve been, where I am and where I want to be. And waiting for my breakfast to cook so that I can begin my day long drunk *shrug* It’s my birthday and I’ll do what I want to…within reason, of course.
Anywhoodles, I am watching Maury (The Maury Povich Show) and there’s yet one more bitter black chick on stage. She is having her man take a lie detector test and boo hooing at the lies.
*blank stare*
Chick, fa real? I mean, come on. If you go on Maury, you already know your man (or woman) ain’t shyt. So why you crying? *smh* The problem I see with a lot of bitter black women (can't speak to no one else cuz I've only ever been a black chick) isn’t the ain’t shyt man they are dealing with. It’s the fact that they stayed with said ain’t shyt man way too freaking long.
I’ve had boyfriends cheat on me. You gets no pass with me. Once you cheat, baby, you gots to go. I set you free so you can do you. I set them free so I wouldn’t end up hating them. I’ve hated before, it’s as detrimental to my heart and mind as it is to the person being hated. It took a long time to get that mess out of my heart. And it still affects my head to this day. Yeah, it’s not good for me at all. I try my best to eliminate things and people that are harmful to me. Some things and people are more harmful than others. I weigh the pros and cons.
I refuse to stop eating fried chicken just cuz of some ish the surgeon general, my doctor and my scale has to say. I don’t eat it every day. Heck I don’t even eat it every week…or month. But if southern fried chicken, fuk oven fried ok, was suddenly and irrevocably taken out of my diet I would die a little inside. That would be the beginning of the end of my happy place.
I could live without TPL (The Pathological Liar) in my life but, damn it, it would not be as much fun at all. So, just like with the fried chicken, I limit my exposure to him.
Cheating men? I dismiss altogether. I have watched some wonderful women become truly cold and bitter because they let someone toxic stay in their lives way too long. I don’t know if they thought they could change them or what.
My momma told me that you can’t change anyone. People have to want to change and then they have to do the dang thing. My momma taught me these lessons back when I was young and thought she was the smartest person in the universe after God. I did my teenage stupid shyt that lasted well into my 20’s but I never forgot the lessons. How could I when every day someone did something that just verified everything she told me. Sometimes it was even me doing the dumb shyt. Unfortunately, I couldn't learn everything at her knee or through watching others. Everyone rubs their face in shyt to see if it stinks every now and then. Adam and Eve set the precedence.
So, if he’s cheating on me now then there is no reason to believe he won’t do it again if I stay. Consequences. Everyone has to understand that there are consequences. And I let a man know these things up front. Cheating after that seems to me a bit of a dare. Like he doesn’t believe what I say.
I think because of the cutesy voice I got people sometimes don’t take my words seriously…until they try me. People only do it once to know I mean what I say.
I keep watching this stuff cuz I am trying to figure out why, beyond Maury needing a job, people put themselves through this pain.
Oh mercy! On to Judge Hatchett. Yesterday she had a couple that was finally getting around to a DNA test and the child is 20. WTH????
*smh tipping mimosa filled wine glass at the monitor*
I am sitting here on my day off finally celebrating my birthday. My day of reflection over the last year of my life and previous years. Meditating on my life. Where I’ve been, where I am and where I want to be. And waiting for my breakfast to cook so that I can begin my day long drunk *shrug* It’s my birthday and I’ll do what I want to…within reason, of course.
Anywhoodles, I am watching Maury (The Maury Povich Show) and there’s yet one more bitter black chick on stage. She is having her man take a lie detector test and boo hooing at the lies.
*blank stare*
Chick, fa real? I mean, come on. If you go on Maury, you already know your man (or woman) ain’t shyt. So why you crying? *smh* The problem I see with a lot of bitter black women (can't speak to no one else cuz I've only ever been a black chick) isn’t the ain’t shyt man they are dealing with. It’s the fact that they stayed with said ain’t shyt man way too freaking long.
I’ve had boyfriends cheat on me. You gets no pass with me. Once you cheat, baby, you gots to go. I set you free so you can do you. I set them free so I wouldn’t end up hating them. I’ve hated before, it’s as detrimental to my heart and mind as it is to the person being hated. It took a long time to get that mess out of my heart. And it still affects my head to this day. Yeah, it’s not good for me at all. I try my best to eliminate things and people that are harmful to me. Some things and people are more harmful than others. I weigh the pros and cons.
I refuse to stop eating fried chicken just cuz of some ish the surgeon general, my doctor and my scale has to say. I don’t eat it every day. Heck I don’t even eat it every week…or month. But if southern fried chicken, fuk oven fried ok, was suddenly and irrevocably taken out of my diet I would die a little inside. That would be the beginning of the end of my happy place.
I could live without TPL (The Pathological Liar) in my life but, damn it, it would not be as much fun at all. So, just like with the fried chicken, I limit my exposure to him.
Cheating men? I dismiss altogether. I have watched some wonderful women become truly cold and bitter because they let someone toxic stay in their lives way too long. I don’t know if they thought they could change them or what.
My momma told me that you can’t change anyone. People have to want to change and then they have to do the dang thing. My momma taught me these lessons back when I was young and thought she was the smartest person in the universe after God. I did my teenage stupid shyt that lasted well into my 20’s but I never forgot the lessons. How could I when every day someone did something that just verified everything she told me. Sometimes it was even me doing the dumb shyt. Unfortunately, I couldn't learn everything at her knee or through watching others. Everyone rubs their face in shyt to see if it stinks every now and then. Adam and Eve set the precedence.
So, if he’s cheating on me now then there is no reason to believe he won’t do it again if I stay. Consequences. Everyone has to understand that there are consequences. And I let a man know these things up front. Cheating after that seems to me a bit of a dare. Like he doesn’t believe what I say.
I think because of the cutesy voice I got people sometimes don’t take my words seriously…until they try me. People only do it once to know I mean what I say.
I keep watching this stuff cuz I am trying to figure out why, beyond Maury needing a job, people put themselves through this pain.
Oh mercy! On to Judge Hatchett. Yesterday she had a couple that was finally getting around to a DNA test and the child is 20. WTH????
*smh tipping mimosa filled wine glass at the monitor*
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