Bitter black women

Hoe-Kay!


I am sitting here on my day off finally celebrating my birthday. My day of reflection over the last year of my life and previous years. Meditating on my life. Where I’ve been, where I am and where I want to be. And waiting for my breakfast to cook so that I can begin my day long drunk *shrug* It’s my birthday and I’ll do what I want to…within reason, of course.

Anywhoodles, I am watching Maury (The Maury Povich Show) and there’s yet one more bitter black chick on stage. She is having her man take a lie detector test and boo hooing at the lies.

*blank stare*

Chick, fa real? I mean, come on. If you go on Maury, you already know your man (or woman) ain’t shyt. So why you crying? *smh* The problem I see with a lot of bitter black women (can't speak to no one else cuz I've only ever been a black chick) isn’t the ain’t shyt man they are dealing with.  It’s the fact that they stayed with said ain’t shyt man way too freaking long.

I’ve had boyfriends cheat on me. You gets no pass with me. Once you cheat, baby, you gots to go. I set you free so you can do you. I set them free so I wouldn’t end up hating them. I’ve hated before, it’s as detrimental to my heart and mind as it is to the person being hated. It took a long time to get that mess out of my heart. And it still affects my head to this day. Yeah, it’s not good for me at all. I try my best to eliminate things and people that are harmful to me. Some things and people are more harmful than others. I weigh the pros and cons.

I refuse to stop eating fried chicken just cuz of some ish the surgeon general, my doctor and my scale has to say. I don’t eat it every day. Heck I don’t even eat it every week…or month. But if southern fried chicken, fuk oven fried ok, was suddenly and irrevocably taken out of my diet I would die a little inside. That would be the beginning of the end of my happy place.

I could live without TPL (The Pathological Liar) in my life but, damn it, it would not be as much fun at all. So, just like with the fried chicken, I limit my exposure to him.

Cheating men? I dismiss altogether. I have watched some wonderful women become truly cold and bitter because they let someone toxic stay in their lives way too long. I don’t know if they thought they could change them or what.

My momma told me that you can’t change anyone. People have to want to change and then they have to do the dang thing. My momma taught me these lessons back when I was young and thought she was the smartest person in the universe after God. I did my teenage stupid shyt that lasted well into my 20’s but I never forgot the lessons. How could I when every day someone did something that just verified everything she told me.  Sometimes it was even me doing the dumb shyt.  Unfortunately, I couldn't learn everything at her knee or through watching others.  Everyone rubs their face in shyt to see if it stinks every now and then.  Adam and Eve set the precedence.

So, if he’s cheating on me now then there is no reason to believe he won’t do it again if I stay. Consequences. Everyone has to understand that there are consequences. And I let a man know these things up front. Cheating after that seems to me a bit of a dare. Like he doesn’t believe what I say.

I think because of the cutesy voice I got people sometimes don’t take my words seriously…until they try me. People only do it once to know I mean what I say.

I keep watching this stuff cuz I am trying to figure out why, beyond Maury needing a job, people put themselves through this pain.

Oh mercy! On to Judge Hatchett. Yesterday she had a couple that was finally getting around to a DNA test and the child is 20. WTH????

*smh tipping mimosa filled wine glass at the monitor*