I gotta crow somewhere!

So, I’ve been on a positive self-improvement path for the past few years and it has been an amazingly wonderful and success-FILLED ride.

I set these goals for myself and I haven’t reached the ultimate goals. I kinda set really big goals and I am trying to figure out how to set smaller goals so I can see that I am moving forward faster than I thought or imagined.

One of those goals was to slim down 100 pounds in a year. I set that goal March 2016.  Well I dropped 25 pounds in that time and kept it off.  I was satisfied with the start and just kept working on all the areas where I had set such lofty goals for myself hoping that it would continue when my body was ready.

Well for the past few months people kept telling me I was looking smaller and I was just thinking that they hadn’t seen me in a while.  The last 90-120 days had been crazy because I was filling in for an open position in my dept.  It was such a crazy time that I didn’t have time to update my food diary let alone weigh myself.

Yesterday I finally realized that I’ve really gotten slimmer because all my clothing is falling off me.  Even my pants without elastic in them are hanging onto my hips by a prayer. LOL Heaven help me if I put keys or too much change in my pockets and then I’m constantly pulling them up and readjusting them.  My skirts need more than just a pin to stay up!

I bought this fanny pack a few years ago and had to get a waist extender.  Today I took the extender off because the fanny pack keeps slipping down my hips.

Last evening, after eating mind you, I weighed myself.  I’ve lost another 30 pounds!!!!!!  I am now 55 pounds slimmer!  I am now below 300 pounds for the first time since my 20s!!!!!!

I am just glowing and happy and everything just gets better for me.  I’m not a multi-millionaire author yet but I get a royalty check every month and, I’m starting to save them now.  I got 3 raises on my job within the last 365 days.  Family we lost touch with have gotten back in touch.  The boss who I called The Princess was asked to leave and her last day here is fast approaching.  There have been some downs too but the ups are so plentiful and wonderful to me that I can shrug everything else away easily.

All that to say, I AM IN A GREAT PLACE!!!!!

It feels good to be able to post/say it somewhere.  A lot of the people in my groups are suffering right now.  Saying how great I’m doing when they’re hanging on by their finger tips seems insensitive to me.  So I just sit here glowing and grinning quietly.  I just felt the need to crow somewhere.

*sits here glowing happily*

My Women's Group On Facebook

I know!  Back so soon?  *chuckles*  Well something popped up in my women’s group on Facebook that I wanted to spit out so I can get it out of my head.

So I’ve blogged about HKS and her relationship with TDP.  After which TDP and I stay far away from each other.  Amazing how small the internet can be sometimes.  You’d think that would be easy but with so many friends in common sometimes we do come face to face at which time I ease right on out the way.  Knowing him adds nothing positive to any person’s life.  I’m much happier this way.

About a year ago, I guess, he and some buddies started a new group on Facebook.  One of the ladies from our group added me without me knowing who all the participants were.  Some of the people in the group are cool.  However, when I saw his name pop up I immediately turned off notifications for the group and never entered it again.  I knew from that moment that that group was going to be about female bashing.  And that’s what it has finally become.

It started off great.  The women in my group kept coming starting posts in our group about how much fun they were having and how funny this one or that one was.  I just kept thinking to myself, Wait for it.  It is coming.  TDP was and is an asshole.  He can’t keep it hidden but for so long.

Well over the last six months all they do now is complain about the group and try to talk themselves into staying apart of it. *smh*  Only women who stay in that group are women with self-esteem issues.  

One of the group actually broke from it.  I’m hoping she sees the correlation between how her outlook improved once she left the group.  TDP added her back in whether she wanted to be there or not.  Then her outlook took a turn down again.  Now she’s left the group again.  I hope she connects the dots.

One of the other women in the group left and for a very good reason, one of the guys in the group took a picture of her and photoshopped it without her permission.  Then he apologized to her in pm while still deriding her and stirring the pot for others to do the same publicly.  I’d have screenshot that apology.  Posted it in the group so they could see him for the ass-shat he is and bounced.  She just bounced.  TDP told her to suck it up and added her back to the group.  Where they jumped in on deriding her some more.

They had a post in the group shaming fat women.  Did I mention TDP is fat?  At least the last time I saw him he was.  Yeah.  Then there was the post about women who don’t swallow semen needing to kill themselves.  All nasty negative posts against women.  No one with a healthy self-esteem, man or woman, would stay in such a poisonous place.

One of the women who is in the group but doesn’t stop by much even dropped them with a little knowledge that they are ignoring or maybe they love it.  Anyway she said there is always a lot of drama around TDP.

So all that was my segue into what’s going on now.

So TDP has a girlfriend and all the women in my group who are also in his group love her.  They THINK she’s great.  *smh side eyeing*  There is talk of including her into our group.  *rolls eyes to my bangs*  They ain’t learned from TG, A, or V.  I blogged about TG here.  A and V, I didn’t bother to blog about.  It wasn’t worth the energy.  But they all thought all three were great adds and each showed their true asses in the end.

Now A and V I really didn’t have any feeling on one way or the other.  But TG I knew wasn’t going to work and she is the one who single handedly brought down our first group.  When they mentioned adding TDP’s girlfriend to our group, I got the exact same feeling I got when they were talking about adding TG.  This ain’t going to end well for them.

For me and others it is no big deal.  I have friends and family who I am close to in real life.  But for others in that group, we are their only girlfriends.  If our group gets shut down like the other one, then they literally have no other friends to be with.

I know, we’re on the internet but we do phone calls, send cards to each other during the holidays, go on trips together, and do video slumber parties.  They really are a great close-knit group of women.  And we’ve been going strong for over three years.

And I see it about to hit a huge wall called TDP’s drama interjected by his girlfriend.

One of the women who don’t deal with TDP’s group either said the following about his girlfriend, she posts too many selfies and she had to unfollow her.  She didn’t have time for someone who needed to be told she was pretty that much.

I sat on my side of the screen chuckling.  Then one of the women in the group said that 2-3 selfies a month wasn’t that much.  Well the one who said that is the same one who spoke up for TG, A, and V.  A and V turned on her personally on her wall.  TG was well, you read the outcome.  So her friend vetting skills over the internet are practically nil in my mind.  And the woman who made the comment about the selfies only gets on Facebook 2-3 times a week.  So if someone who only gets on fb 2-3 times a week sees that many selfies from one person then that person is posting a lot of selfies.  But women with self-esteem issues are what surround TDP so that makes sense.

So what I’m going to do is the same thing I did for the other three women, nothing.  These are not my lessons to learn.  These lessons are for the ones who have the most to lose.  They should be guarding the group closely.  They’ll learn.  Hopefully.

I got other stuff to do and I’m going to get on that right now.

*salutes monitor with cheese danish*

I love Nip / Tuck and why Kizzy got a bum personal life.

So I got the complete series of Nip/Tuck for Christmas.  I remembered it being a great show.  I watched the first three seasons and half of the fourth season before saying see ya to cable.  Well I’ve finally watched it from beginning to end and wow is all I can say.  It was even better watching it now.

I was talking to my BFL about the show and how I missed so much symbolism when I first watched it over 10 years ago.  Show ran from 2003-2010.  Now that I have some distance and some more age and experience on me, it really blows me away how much story telling and symbolism was in that show.

My BFL and I were dissecting just a couple episodes.  I’ve already done a run through but I started watching it again because my BFL was saying she didn’t believe that Christian even liked women.  And I thought, but didn’t say, much like most Christian religions.  *chuckle* I wasn’t sure I agreed with her or not.  Besides Sean he had no male friends.  If he had no use for a person, male or female, then they were soon dismissed from his life.  And he was pretty unapologetic about it.  Even tied up with an angry ex-girlfriend aiming a knife at his penis he still told the truth.

Kimber: Why couldn’t you just love me?

Christian: I never loved anyone.

That takes guts.  She’d already cut him in the side.  You know she ain’t playing but you’re still telling the truth.  Dang bro’.  *chuckles*

But I find it interesting that they give the character most like the devil the name Christian.  Remember the devil is reported to be a fallen angel and the most beautiful of them all.  Consequently, the most beautiful people on the show have some of the most awful secrets or do the most awful things.  And Christian and his 10-inch penis thought of himself as as the most beautiful of them all.

In the show’s run they handled homosexuality, bestiality, transgenders, fluid sexuality, Christianity, Scientology, of course our obsession with physical perfection, vanity when your eyes is lying azz lying to you, parenting, love, hate, sex, bigotry, fatherhood, motherhood, gender inequality, child abuse and so much more.

There is an episode where they realize, after the fact, that they have changed the appearance of a pedophile priest.  Sean is all for taking their time and talking it out with the Archdiocese.  He’s leaving voicemails and hoping they call him back.  He’s supposed to be the good guy in this.

Meanwhile, Christian goes down to the church and confronts the priest.  Then do you know what that good Christian priest says to him: He knows it is wrong but he can’t help himself and he can’t go to jail either.  Christian, one of a handful of times, shows what being a Christian is supposed to be about and tells him either he turns himself into the police or he’ll do it himself.

You’re supposed to take up for the innocent children already here.  Period.

There were other moments like that in the show.  I’m watching it yet again to pick up stuff I missed.  I had a couple choking moments of course.  They showcased the double standards between men and women.  Sean cheats on his wife and his mistress dies.  He confesses to his wife and then buries his head in her lap looking for sympathy after his mistress dies from cancer.

*blink blink* N*gger WHAT?????

She puts him out for a couple weeks but goes to him and tells him to come home.

Okay.  He finds out that she had an affair with Christian before they were married and that their oldest is in fact Christian’s son.  He tries to kill her before kicking her out of the house and refuses to forgive her for months.  When the divorce is final and she starts a successful business THEN he wants her azz back.  At which point she’s like naw, I’m good but thanks.  He forgives Christian long before forgiving his ex-wife.

The show even took digs at people who believe their kids are going to tell them everything because they are such good buddies.  When Julia finds out their oldest is having sex she can’t believe he didn’t tell her before engaging in sex.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  I can’t believe how people fool themselves into believing that they and their kids are a) like that and b) need to be like that.

The show also took on what happens when you make your child your peer instead of your child.

If it missed anything to touch on I don’t know what it was.  By the finale they had come full circle.  The only difference is that I wanted to put my foot in Matt’s azz.  Otherwise, I was happy where they left everyone.  Darn good show.  Has to be to get me to blog about it.

But it also got me looking at the caucasian woman they were passing around.  I started thinking about Kizzy and the difference between Kizzy and Kimber.  Though Kimber got passed around and ended up doing porn, meth, prostitution, she still got six marriage proposals, four of those rings were worth over $100k, one ring was between $10k - $20k and she got married twice.  But people think you’re overreaching when you say that Kizzy’s romantic life should have been totally different.  Okay.  Y’all keep thinking that.

OH!  I did want to remark on something else that of course happened on fb.  On a writer friend of mine’s wall.  I started to discuss it in my writer group but I didn’t want it to seem like I’m gossiping about her because I’m not.  I’m just concerned.

Here’s the scenario.  Said writer friend is pregnant.  She’s had a miscarriage and then difficulty getting pregnant again.  So now that she is pregnant again she has been gushing.  It is to be expected.  I read what I want and like and skim when I ain’t got time.  Well yesterday she put up a rant about her pregnancy saying that if people didn’t like her pregnancy posts then they could unfollow / unfriend as they pleased.  This was her joy and she was going to revel in it.

I read it and was a bit shocked.  Only a bit because she basically says what she feels all the time.  So I wasn’t surprised at the rant.  I was surprised she told people on her author’s page they could leave if they didn’t like her pregnancy posts.

So, I sat and ruminated for a minute on whether I should say something.  I said a prayer on it and then reached out to her.  I just asked did she think that was wise considering that a lot of the people on her page are her readers.  People planning baby shower participation and ish.  She’d need those folks to buy her books when they come out this year.

She said that she wrote under other names and that she had other ventures that supported her so she felt fine if people didn’t want to support her anymore.  She said she was tired of people telling her she couldn’t do what she wanted to do and she was going to do things her way.

So I was like, okay.  Cool!  As long as you are good financially then I’ll go back to minding my business.  Then I got to thinking, you know the no nonsense approach works for Dr. Phil.  Let me sit here and see how this works out for her.  I always watch how other writers run their pages to see what seems to work for them especially with writers in my same genre.

So today I signed onto fb and fooled around on other people’s pages and my own before going to check her page to see what folks had said to her rant.  People seemed supportive.  I saw that she posted a follow up video detailing what made her go off.  Basically some folks who have access to her told her things from it is too early for her to be talking about her pregnancy to she needs to be sensitive to people who are still trying to get pregnant, etc.

And people seemed to understand and rally around her.  So I kind of breathed a sigh of relief.  However, as I looked around things do seem to be a bit quieter on her wall.  I’m going to keep an eye on it as I said, I look at how other writers seem to connect with their readers as info on how I want to move forward with my readers.  I know one romance writer who has bonded with readers over her cat.  Seriously she gets close to 100 likes and lots of conversation on her cat’s antics every time she posts.  She’s got a great rapport with an awful lot of her readers.  Great rapport with your readers leads to repeat readers and recommendations.

This writer friend of mine had/has that.  Like I said, I’m going to keep an eye on it and see how it goes.

Other than that, things are still great.

Peace, love, and blessings.

I gotta say it somewhere...

Happy New Year!

I know, long time no write.  I’ve been happily busy.  Which is a very good thing.

I only stopped by here because I have to say this somewhere before I bust.  I can’t say this to the person who started the fb post because there would be a war on her wall and it is not that serious.  I can’t say it in my women’s group because the most vocal ones love that tv show that I call Kizzy Does DC (KDDC).  I refuse to mention the show’s real name but it has Kerry W. in the lead role.  They will defend that show to the last drop of their blood.  They’ve already done so and continue to do so just disgusted that they have to keep defending the show.  They defend that show like they are defending themselves.

Look, I like some of Nicki Minaj’s songs and I don’t defend her when people attack her.  I pay for her music to entertain me.  She isn’t giving me a thin coin to defend her and I don’t.  So I figure they must see themselves in Kizzy and are defending themselves. *shrug* The needle on my f*cks to give meter remains at rest.

Anyway the fb post was about a book on amazon listed as interracial erotica.  Now it isn’t actually erotica.  It is pure smut.  Black chick and her strong white man.  But they don’t call the black woman a chick, they use the word Ho or Hoe.  I forget.  Anyway they were all outraged and one wondered who sanctioned this “filth”.

I had to go to bed early, I was asleep before 9 pm, because it was taking everything in me to not type the following:

The people sanctioning what you term as filth are in fact every single person who is in love with the tv show KDDC or as it is formally known _________.  What y’all don’t get while y’all are screaming “Do it Kizzy!” at the tv is that the show feeds into the fetish that a lot of caucasian men (heck and I imagine some caucasian women too) have about black women.  They would love to be able to screw that smart, articulate, accomplished, attractive, composed black woman in their place of employment, gym or wherever absolutely filthy.  Most black women don’t get that there are eyes set in caucasian faces crawling all over them every day that wish they could treat them like a black ho/hoe.  They don’t want to date black women, just use their bodies for sexual gratification.  Oh and they would like it very much if you, black ho/hoe, would love the degrading way they treat you in the bedroom.  Please and thanks.

There is no love between Kizzy and either of the caucasian men that the writers keep passing her back and forth between like a cheap bottle of muscatel.  When this show is off the air and a few years have passed, SOME people will see the show clearly.  Some will still romanticize it.  Kinda like how I feel about Gem and the Holograms. *chuckling*

I realized that black women really didn’t realize why the show was on the air when I saw someone circulating a petition to have them end the affair with Kizzy’s married massa.  I laughed and shook my head knowing that would never happen.  The day it does, the show will be canceled, not finaled, but canceled five episodes later.

That would mean she would be left with the caucasian who is single, I think.  I don’t watch the show.  I just notice from my fb newsfeed who she’s with by who everyone is panting about that week.  She even had a black beaux for a minute, I guess.  One of her caucasian massas either killed him or had him killed.  Don’t know.  Don’t care.  However, left with an unattached caucasian male would mean that they would be dating.  He would treat her like a woman who is his equal instead of the black ho/hoe that he is using for sex while basking in her love as he treats her like a ho/hoe.

Pay attention: THAT AIN’T GOING TO HAPPEN ON THIS SHOW!

That’s not what the show is about for the caucasians who watch it and write it and that is all that matters.  It has even been leaked that when Miz Shonda ends the show, things will end badly for Kizzy.  As it is supposed to.  A jump off isn’t supposed to have a happily ever after.  Look at Alicia Keys.  She got Whiz but she also got to help him pay his child support payments to the baby mommas before, during, and probably after they got married.  She’s a laughing stock as she should be because she was a jump off to a married man.

Kizzy should have just as bad an end. *shrug* And the leaks seem to say Miz Shonda and the caucasians funding the show agree.

Back to my point, every time a black woman/girl extolls this show, in the fetishizing caucasians’ minds that means that there are black women/girls open to being treated like Kizzy right here and now in 2015.  And that boys and girls is why there is this fetish erotica that y’all are calling filth.  This is what called it into being.

Heck, the books that they were discussing on fb have commenters remarking that they made mistakes in the book.  Black women don’t have pink nipples and they kept mixing up blonde and black hair in the same book! LOL In other words, someone took out their manuscript written about caucasians and just redid the female character and made her black.  Then they didn’t do a very good job of editing it on top of it.  LOL

And though they hate it, those books are in the top fifty thousand on amazon.  Why is that notable?  Because amazon has over seven million books on their site.  Some of those books are well known best sellers by authors the masses know and love.  Books that have been made into plays and movies.  And these smutty fetish books are in the top fifty thousand with them.  Not top million or even hundred thousand but fifty.  Yeah.  There is evidently a lot of money to be made in these kinds of smutty books.  And they get sanctioned every time black women sit down and enjoy, tweet, fb, blog, etc about how much they love KDDC.

*sighs*  Okay.  It is out now and I can go back to chill mode.

A fabulous new year to you!  *fingerwaves*