So I am snowed in with no peen so forgive me for constantly bringing up BallerAlert.com. They are helping me stay sane. *chuckle*
BallerAlert.com topic: How long is too long? In other words, how long is too long to have sex? I was surprised at some of the answers. A youngun said 30 minutes is too long. WTH?
I said 20 minutes is long enough but then I am 42 but ain’t a dang thing wrong with 30 minutes or more of sex. I mean you change positions and…*lick lips* stuff.
In my 20s, we would be finishing as the sun came up. We use to be at it all night. I can probably still go all night but men in my dating age range usually can’t…heart attacks and such. Probably just as well.
I had a young man step to me talking about he had about 15 minutes in him. He was 24! WTFH!!!!????? *snicker* The whole time he was talking I was trying to figure out how I was gonna get some beads up his butt so he’d hang on longer. Most black men that I have dealt with are homophobic and don’t want you to play with their butt. But if all he had was 15 minutes in him then I was gonna introduce him to butt beads.
It didn’t work out becuz I could not get past the fact that his father had tried to date me first. When his father was trying to date me his son would have been about 15. Jail bait. I know he isn’t now but I just couldn’t get past that. *smh* No, his father never got the chance. His father just tried.
*cell buzzes, pauses to check messages*
*thoughtful smirk*
O…k, why did he who was nameless just call and leave me a voicemail? Why am I tempted to call him back and invite him over? And his name is Tim. *chuckle*
*shakes fist at ceiling* Come on Momma Nay, ease off the snow before I end up pushing out a big headed baby come November/December. Yezzzzz, I use condoms but with my luck...
*opens bottle of wine and stares at his number for awhile*
I’m back! That was two days ago. *chuckle* I actually don’t have any condoms in the house. Besides that he stopped calling a couple weeks ago. Thought he got the message. If he’s calling up in the middle of a blizzard he must need somewhere to crash. Yeah that’s what I believe and no I am not giving him the benefit of the doubt. There was almost zero visibility outside. If he’s trying to hook up with me during the storm he is either horny, lonely, hungry or all of the above. I say ‘is’ cuz he’s still calling.
I got a touch of cabin fever and Raul *sniff* hasn’t been replaced, yet. I’ll be alright. *lol* Yes, I am very hard on men. *shrug* Life’s hard. That’s just the way it is sometimes. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so brutally, stupidly honest…*sigh* Oh well.
My neighbor finally got his girlfriend out. *chuckle* I thought he had gotten rid of her after the Super Bowl but then they forecast Tuesday’s blizzard. I guess he decided he needed her and her CAR back. But last night as he was digging his way to her car he was cussing and fussing to his roommate helping. He said and I quote “You get up and don’t put your azz in the tub then you got to get the f*ck out!”
I was sitting in my living room at the time and I just quietly got up and went back to my bedroom so that I could laugh myself silly. Cuz if I could hear him cussing and fussing through the windows then he would hear me laughing at his dilemma. And I got to live next door to his azz. So I chose discretion for a change.
Oh. My. Damn.
She is trifling but he is just as trifling for putting up with that mess. He knew her azz was trifling before they got snowed in on Friday. But he used her car to go pick up his new mattress and then get supplies for the first storm and Super Bowl. Then she didn’t wanna go home. *LOL*. Then Sunday they forecast another blizzard and back to the store in her car they went. I guess by Thursday he couldn’t take the funk anymore. PEW!
I don’t understand that concept. How in the world as an adult you are going to be sexually active with another person and lie around and not clean yourself? Is there another more severe word than nasty or trifling? *shiver* Ech! Nasty azzes! I say azzes cuz I would be willing to bet money that he had sex with her dirty butt more than once over the last 7 days.
I bet she got Trichomonas, Chlamydia and a host of other things in her…stuff. Coochay is good clean vagina. She got stuff. *shiver* Ew!
Next topic!
BA also hipped me to a new holiday that I wanna put on blast. It’s a holiday just for the fellas, and us ladies who enjoy pleasing the fellas this way. It’s on March 14th and its called Steak & BJ Day. *uncontrollable giggles for a minute*
Does Hallmark know? There is marketing for this. I swear someone out there is about to make a mint if they can figure away to get this past the TV censors. Its perfect timing. Its one month after Valentine’s Day, which men constantly complain is all about us. Truth, I very rarely hear women say what they are getting their men for V-Day. So I think Steak & BJ Day is the perfect holiday to celebrate the man in your life. This is also an incentive for him to remember V-Day and do it up just like you like it so that you’ll reciprocate on March 14th. HI-LAR-EE-US! Check out the website here: http://www.steakandbjday.com/
Just remember ladies, if your man doesn’t eat red meat then there is ham steaks, steak fish, turkey steaks. Get creative. If he is a true vegan then there’s eggplant. I find eggplant really does have the consistency of meat when cut thickly.
Just have good safe fun everyone and pray I am back at work Monday. I gotta find myself someone worthy to get under/ride before the next snowstorm blows through Bmore.
*glances up at wobbling halo*
*halo cosigns this*
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
On dating black women
LMAO at this whole concept.
There are men out there who say they don’t date black women. Ok. It’s a preference. For the longest time I didn’t date anyone other than black men. No one slammed me. Why do we keep slamming men for it?
I know. First and foremost, I am not anyone famous so who really cares. However, famous black women never go on record, at least that I’ve seen, in who they will and will not date. No one has even bothered to ask that I’ve noticed.
You know why?
Cuz we all know one simple fact: If a man’s peen ain’t a certain length then they will never be able to hit it from the back. I’ve yet to have sex with a man who didn’t hit it from the back sometime during our sessions. If your peen ain’t above average then it will never get past that bubble butt we have. That’s it in a nutshell. *snicker*
As a plus sized woman I have never had a man with a small peen. As a matter of fact I’ve had a couple that were too big which is why I have measurement restrictions now. No, seriously, I do.
I have a big chocolate bubble butt back there. *chuckling* Every guy I’ve been with could hit it from the back…except one but still he could get it in from the back. He just couldn’t stay in. *chuckle*
So folks, black ladies in particular, please leave the men alone that don’t date us. Let them continue to date the women that they can accommodate and who can accommodate them. They are just saving you disappointment and themselves insult and injury. Sisters, you know how we can be.
My friends complain a lot about being hit off by guys with small peens. I can’t relate and I am quite glad I didn’t run into a small peen when I was younger. If a guy wasn’t interested in me I chalked it up to me missing out on drama and left it at that. A lot more people need to adopt this attitude. Everything ain’t for everybody. Geez! *eye roll*
Today if I ran across a guy with the confidence to know his peen is too small but still steps to me I know there are things we can do to make it more enjoyable for both of us.
I’ve kind of been having this idea running around in my head for a minute. The more I see of men’s dating preferences the more I believe it. I mean coochay is coochay no matter what color woman it’s attached to.
Like for the longest time I kept wondering why Shaq dated such tiny women. He dated Jada Pinkett Smith before she married Wil Smith. I just assumed he was huge in the peen department. Now that I have been spending time over at BallerAlert.com and a couple other groupie spots I am hearing rumors, just rumors now nothing anyone has confirmed with pictures, that though he’s a big guy his peen is just average. *nodding* That would make him dating petite women make sense. Men go with what feels good to their peens. I hear the tighter the better. That’s why I do my kegels weekly. My coochay is built small and I haven’t had any kids so my coochay doesn’t need to do them daily. I’m just saying. *shrug*
I think that goes for a lot black men that I see dating Asian women. No, all black men don’t have huge peens. Asian women are more petite and I imagine so is their coochay. Honey, you got to get yours as it feels good to you.
So to them I say do you and her but do black women a favor. Stop telling the world that you don’t date black women becuz we are evil and bitter. Y’all know good and damn well you love us and all the drama that comes with us. All that drama is just misdirected passion. But when you direct that passion in the right way and you have the sexual skillz and equipment to fit the black woman in question *sigh*…bay…be! *eyes roll to back of my head, coochay twitch*
Forgive me Blogger but I need to be a bit vulgar to be clear here:
Fuck what you heard becuz it is the B to the E to the S to the T!
So to all y’all men out there who say you don’t date black women, its ok. Just do us a favor and stop proclaiming it to the world attached to some bogus excuse. It is what it is. You more than likely don’t have the equipment to do so. God, in His infinite wisdom, made someone for everyone. Be glad we live in a world now where you can love who you love. Just stop trying to mess with our self esteem. Y’all done messed Caucasian women all the hell up. You don’t want a nation of crazed angry black women. Trust!
Just my humble opinion.
There are men out there who say they don’t date black women. Ok. It’s a preference. For the longest time I didn’t date anyone other than black men. No one slammed me. Why do we keep slamming men for it?
I know. First and foremost, I am not anyone famous so who really cares. However, famous black women never go on record, at least that I’ve seen, in who they will and will not date. No one has even bothered to ask that I’ve noticed.
You know why?
Cuz we all know one simple fact: If a man’s peen ain’t a certain length then they will never be able to hit it from the back. I’ve yet to have sex with a man who didn’t hit it from the back sometime during our sessions. If your peen ain’t above average then it will never get past that bubble butt we have. That’s it in a nutshell. *snicker*
As a plus sized woman I have never had a man with a small peen. As a matter of fact I’ve had a couple that were too big which is why I have measurement restrictions now. No, seriously, I do.
I have a big chocolate bubble butt back there. *chuckling* Every guy I’ve been with could hit it from the back…except one but still he could get it in from the back. He just couldn’t stay in. *chuckle*
So folks, black ladies in particular, please leave the men alone that don’t date us. Let them continue to date the women that they can accommodate and who can accommodate them. They are just saving you disappointment and themselves insult and injury. Sisters, you know how we can be.
My friends complain a lot about being hit off by guys with small peens. I can’t relate and I am quite glad I didn’t run into a small peen when I was younger. If a guy wasn’t interested in me I chalked it up to me missing out on drama and left it at that. A lot more people need to adopt this attitude. Everything ain’t for everybody. Geez! *eye roll*
Today if I ran across a guy with the confidence to know his peen is too small but still steps to me I know there are things we can do to make it more enjoyable for both of us.
I’ve kind of been having this idea running around in my head for a minute. The more I see of men’s dating preferences the more I believe it. I mean coochay is coochay no matter what color woman it’s attached to.
Like for the longest time I kept wondering why Shaq dated such tiny women. He dated Jada Pinkett Smith before she married Wil Smith. I just assumed he was huge in the peen department. Now that I have been spending time over at BallerAlert.com and a couple other groupie spots I am hearing rumors, just rumors now nothing anyone has confirmed with pictures, that though he’s a big guy his peen is just average. *nodding* That would make him dating petite women make sense. Men go with what feels good to their peens. I hear the tighter the better. That’s why I do my kegels weekly. My coochay is built small and I haven’t had any kids so my coochay doesn’t need to do them daily. I’m just saying. *shrug*
I think that goes for a lot black men that I see dating Asian women. No, all black men don’t have huge peens. Asian women are more petite and I imagine so is their coochay. Honey, you got to get yours as it feels good to you.
So to them I say do you and her but do black women a favor. Stop telling the world that you don’t date black women becuz we are evil and bitter. Y’all know good and damn well you love us and all the drama that comes with us. All that drama is just misdirected passion. But when you direct that passion in the right way and you have the sexual skillz and equipment to fit the black woman in question *sigh*…bay…be! *eyes roll to back of my head, coochay twitch*
Forgive me Blogger but I need to be a bit vulgar to be clear here:
Fuck what you heard becuz it is the B to the E to the S to the T!
So to all y’all men out there who say you don’t date black women, its ok. Just do us a favor and stop proclaiming it to the world attached to some bogus excuse. It is what it is. You more than likely don’t have the equipment to do so. God, in His infinite wisdom, made someone for everyone. Be glad we live in a world now where you can love who you love. Just stop trying to mess with our self esteem. Y’all done messed Caucasian women all the hell up. You don’t want a nation of crazed angry black women. Trust!
Just my humble opinion.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Random Thoughts
I’ve been stopping by my old online stomping ground. The guy who runs the site is really talented. Love his cartoons. Anyway, they got hacked! Again! Geez, I wonder who they told to die this time. You gotta be real careful nowadays. Everyone’s fuses are so short. You never know who you are talking to online and what they are really capable of doing to you. So keep it civil folks. Just ignore them and they’ll go away. I know it worked for me. *chuckle*
I mean it’s not like elementary school. When the kids in the playground didn’t want to play with you then you were screwed cuz you couldn’t go anywhere else. This is the internet. If the kids at one playground don’t wanna play with you then you find a new playground. It’s really so simple…to sane people. Oh well, I hope he gets his site back up and running.
I been online most of the weekend at my new online stomping ground, Balleralert.com, listening to everyone else snowed in. One of the topics of discussion is: We are too hard on men sometimes!!! My answer is no. I didn’t even bother to join in the discussion. The letter is really crazy to me. The author of this open letter seems to think that we should be patting black men on the head for doing what men of other skin colors do just becuz they know that is their role. I guess black men aren’t supposed to have any roles in life except sperm donors. *shrug* Whatever floats this sister’s boat. If indeed it was even written by a sister or even a woman. I got my doubts. Open Letter: We are too hard on men sometimes!!!!
My new neighbor has been nothing but a source of amusement since yesterday. He is trying to get his girl out. *LMBO* That’s what he gets for using a chick for her vehicle. Now she won’t go home. I’d post pictures if it wouldn’t require me getting dressed and bundling up and going out to take said pictures. But he dug a path yesterday all the way to her car. She’s still here lmbo. This morning as he was going out to clear more snow I heard him tell her that she can go today. Her reply? “No.” And she shut his door. *LMBO*
Why can I hear Jennifer Holiday singing And I’m telling you, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’m not going! Oh mercy! I guess that’s what he gets for getting snowed in with a chick he didn’t love or even like apparently. As long as they keep the drama over there it should be all good. Cuz had the guy I had been laid up with all weekend tell me to get out you best believe I would get to stepping. And I wouldn’t be back. Chalk it up to the game and keep it moving. Never had that happen to me though. I guess being discerning has its rewards.
My friends say I’m picky. Whatever. I’ve never had an STD, never been ordered out of what I thought was my man’s house, and I’ve never had my butt beat by the other woman. Never had my car stolen by my boyfriend. Never had my exes outside my door at 2 am getting ready to fight each other. And the neighbors ready to call the po po. Never opened my man’s trunk to find an industrial size box of condoms that’s half empty and we don’t use condoms *lol* and his response to my question is I should be glad he loves me enough to use condoms. My personal favorite : NEVER HAD A GUY SEND ME HOME VIA PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AFTER SEX. *laugh till I choke*
Yeah, there are a lot of nevers I can throw out there. *chuckling* Love watching drama but I don’t like being involved in it. Especially not publicly.
TPL stopped talking to me for a minute last week becuz I said his kids are spoiled. *shrug* They are. But you cannot tell people bad things about their kids nowadays. As far as I can tell, most people who have kids think that their child(ren) is/are the most special since Jesus. Telling them their child is doing something wrong even when its staring them in the face can make you unpopular real quick. Whatever.
He’s the one who tells me these stories. Lol Every time his daughter gets mad with him she stops answering his calls on the cell he bought and pays for. *LMBO*
I wish I’d have tried some mess like that when I was a child in my mother’s home. Shoot, I still remember the day I called myself getting mad with my mother and telling her that I wasn’t speaking to her anymore. You know that woman put me out her house. Evidently God didn’t like it either cuz a thunder storm started. It poured buckets of water that afternoon. I stood out there for a while, too. We had a covered porch but eventually I came to my senses around dinner time lol.
We didn’t have cell phones back then but had we I know without a doubt if I didn’t wanna talk to my mother who is paying my cell bill then said cell would have been turned off. And who knows when it would have been turned on again. *smh* But his kids ain’t spoiled at all. *LOL* I don’t have enough energy to type out all the spoiled child stories but I will tell this one.
His kids compile a list of what they want on their birthdays and Christmas. For his son’s birthday one year they got him everything on his list but one thing. It was accidentally overlooked. Both his parents apologized (why I don’t know) and TPL promised he would buy it on his next payday. Now this child raked in almost a grand in cash and then he got toys and clothes. Do you know this boy sat and pouted and gave attitude at his birthday party becuz they forgot that one thing? *side eye over rims of glasses*
When I shook my head and said spoiled TPL’s response was: “Well, to be fair, on his list he wrote beside it that if you don’t get me anything else make sure you get this one thing.” Yeah but the oversight was explained and he ALL his other presents. He could wait and he should have been gracious to the other guests at his party who brought him gifts. But hey, he ain’t spoiled. *smh*
Everyone tells me I would feel differently if I had had kids. Thank you God for Your infinite wisdom in not letting me ever get pregnant. Sissy and my GFN are still trying to talk me into having a late life child. I keep looking at them like they are crazy. Christmas I said it again “I am 42 that ship has sailed.” Sissy of course came back with that’s how old our mother was when I was born. Me and my mother are two different people and times are different. Besides, I made a promise to my unborn kids that I wouldn’t have kids just for the sake of having kids no matter how bad I wanted them. If I could not find a man who wanted to commit to me and a life together and then commit to raising a family then I wasn’t having kids. It didn’t happen. Still waiting to be sad about it.
I imagine I will be one day. Especially as I get older and my friends become grandparents. But for now, I’m cool and my friends are enjoying the fact that I have no kids and can travel. *chuckle* Trying to get a Mardi Gras trip together for next year. I just don’t know if me traveling to a state that has drive thru daiquiri joints is a good idea. *chuckle* I do not believe I will be able to stay off the news. I’ll keep ya posted.
Other than that, life is blessed as always.
Stay warm and safe and dry folks! Go Saints!!!!! (I don’t do football but Bmore is beefing with the Colts and I be from Bmore lol)
I mean it’s not like elementary school. When the kids in the playground didn’t want to play with you then you were screwed cuz you couldn’t go anywhere else. This is the internet. If the kids at one playground don’t wanna play with you then you find a new playground. It’s really so simple…to sane people. Oh well, I hope he gets his site back up and running.
I been online most of the weekend at my new online stomping ground, Balleralert.com, listening to everyone else snowed in. One of the topics of discussion is: We are too hard on men sometimes!!! My answer is no. I didn’t even bother to join in the discussion. The letter is really crazy to me. The author of this open letter seems to think that we should be patting black men on the head for doing what men of other skin colors do just becuz they know that is their role. I guess black men aren’t supposed to have any roles in life except sperm donors. *shrug* Whatever floats this sister’s boat. If indeed it was even written by a sister or even a woman. I got my doubts. Open Letter: We are too hard on men sometimes!!!!
My new neighbor has been nothing but a source of amusement since yesterday. He is trying to get his girl out. *LMBO* That’s what he gets for using a chick for her vehicle. Now she won’t go home. I’d post pictures if it wouldn’t require me getting dressed and bundling up and going out to take said pictures. But he dug a path yesterday all the way to her car. She’s still here lmbo. This morning as he was going out to clear more snow I heard him tell her that she can go today. Her reply? “No.” And she shut his door. *LMBO*
Why can I hear Jennifer Holiday singing And I’m telling you, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’m not going! Oh mercy! I guess that’s what he gets for getting snowed in with a chick he didn’t love or even like apparently. As long as they keep the drama over there it should be all good. Cuz had the guy I had been laid up with all weekend tell me to get out you best believe I would get to stepping. And I wouldn’t be back. Chalk it up to the game and keep it moving. Never had that happen to me though. I guess being discerning has its rewards.
My friends say I’m picky. Whatever. I’ve never had an STD, never been ordered out of what I thought was my man’s house, and I’ve never had my butt beat by the other woman. Never had my car stolen by my boyfriend. Never had my exes outside my door at 2 am getting ready to fight each other. And the neighbors ready to call the po po. Never opened my man’s trunk to find an industrial size box of condoms that’s half empty and we don’t use condoms *lol* and his response to my question is I should be glad he loves me enough to use condoms. My personal favorite : NEVER HAD A GUY SEND ME HOME VIA PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AFTER SEX. *laugh till I choke*
Yeah, there are a lot of nevers I can throw out there. *chuckling* Love watching drama but I don’t like being involved in it. Especially not publicly.
TPL stopped talking to me for a minute last week becuz I said his kids are spoiled. *shrug* They are. But you cannot tell people bad things about their kids nowadays. As far as I can tell, most people who have kids think that their child(ren) is/are the most special since Jesus. Telling them their child is doing something wrong even when its staring them in the face can make you unpopular real quick. Whatever.
He’s the one who tells me these stories. Lol Every time his daughter gets mad with him she stops answering his calls on the cell he bought and pays for. *LMBO*
I wish I’d have tried some mess like that when I was a child in my mother’s home. Shoot, I still remember the day I called myself getting mad with my mother and telling her that I wasn’t speaking to her anymore. You know that woman put me out her house. Evidently God didn’t like it either cuz a thunder storm started. It poured buckets of water that afternoon. I stood out there for a while, too. We had a covered porch but eventually I came to my senses around dinner time lol.
We didn’t have cell phones back then but had we I know without a doubt if I didn’t wanna talk to my mother who is paying my cell bill then said cell would have been turned off. And who knows when it would have been turned on again. *smh* But his kids ain’t spoiled at all. *LOL* I don’t have enough energy to type out all the spoiled child stories but I will tell this one.
His kids compile a list of what they want on their birthdays and Christmas. For his son’s birthday one year they got him everything on his list but one thing. It was accidentally overlooked. Both his parents apologized (why I don’t know) and TPL promised he would buy it on his next payday. Now this child raked in almost a grand in cash and then he got toys and clothes. Do you know this boy sat and pouted and gave attitude at his birthday party becuz they forgot that one thing? *side eye over rims of glasses*
When I shook my head and said spoiled TPL’s response was: “Well, to be fair, on his list he wrote beside it that if you don’t get me anything else make sure you get this one thing.” Yeah but the oversight was explained and he ALL his other presents. He could wait and he should have been gracious to the other guests at his party who brought him gifts. But hey, he ain’t spoiled. *smh*
Everyone tells me I would feel differently if I had had kids. Thank you God for Your infinite wisdom in not letting me ever get pregnant. Sissy and my GFN are still trying to talk me into having a late life child. I keep looking at them like they are crazy. Christmas I said it again “I am 42 that ship has sailed.” Sissy of course came back with that’s how old our mother was when I was born. Me and my mother are two different people and times are different. Besides, I made a promise to my unborn kids that I wouldn’t have kids just for the sake of having kids no matter how bad I wanted them. If I could not find a man who wanted to commit to me and a life together and then commit to raising a family then I wasn’t having kids. It didn’t happen. Still waiting to be sad about it.
I imagine I will be one day. Especially as I get older and my friends become grandparents. But for now, I’m cool and my friends are enjoying the fact that I have no kids and can travel. *chuckle* Trying to get a Mardi Gras trip together for next year. I just don’t know if me traveling to a state that has drive thru daiquiri joints is a good idea. *chuckle* I do not believe I will be able to stay off the news. I’ll keep ya posted.
Other than that, life is blessed as always.
Stay warm and safe and dry folks! Go Saints!!!!! (I don’t do football but Bmore is beefing with the Colts and I be from Bmore lol)
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