On Dating Black Women, yet again. *sigh*

There seems to be this communication block between black men and black women. It’s like we say something and they hear something else. Then they say something and we hear something completely different. It’s like we are each hearing our inadequacies coming out of the other’s mouth and no matter what is said to the contrary that is all we hear or recognize.

What got me on this train of thought was the recent statement by Slim Thug (ST). If you are oblivious to him and what he said that enraged so many check this link here Slim Thug's take on Black Women. Truthfully, I was oblivious to his existence until my Twitter timeline (TT) exploded with angry tweets directed at him.

Anyhoodles, I’ve already done my post on what I think of men who proclaim to the world that they don’t date black women for xyz reasons On Dating Black Women. So really, I didn’t pay him much mind after I found out he fell into that category. I read his blurb without emotion. Actually it struck me within the first few sentences that perhaps he had tried to approach a black woman in a socio-economic, educational background that was much higher than his own and he had been shot down. I figured that was his issue and blew him off and moved onto the next topic.

But then I really started to think on what he had said and realized that perhaps there was another way to take what he had said. Cuz though I didn’t get emotional about it A LOT of people did. Just three below.

Miss Jia Miss Jia's thoughts on ST.

Shamontiel Shamontiel's Response.

Marc Lamont Hill Response.

I imagine there are more but again, I don’t think that topic deserves that much of my time. Cuz as I see it the problem isn’t just black centric it’s people centric. Over half of US marriages end in divorce. Since 70% or more of black women are unmarried that means that everyone else is having just as many problems keeping a mate as black women are having finding one.

As the government keeps telling the world black folk only make up 12% of the USA. Black women are a little more than half of that 12%. So in reality it would seem that more non-black folk are having a hard time keeping a mate than we are finding one. Given the difficulties associated with the break up and dissolution of a marriage, perhaps that ain’t as bad a thing as people try to make it sound. Just my humble opinion.

Japanese women have surpassed their men in education and therefore in the job marketplace. They are making more, smarter and are putting aside the traditional female roles in Japanese society. In other words, they are refusing to take a backseat to a man when they are working just as hard and making just as much money if not more than their mate. They’d rather do without a mate. They are facing a crisis becuz when you think that way, you don’t have any babies. Soon, there won’t be enough young people to keep up the infrastructure. They are advising Japanese women to do the same thing that ST seems to be advising black women.

Lower your standards when it comes to getting a black man as your mate.

*sigh* I really don’t want to and I really don’t see why I should have to. I hear so many black men telling anyone who will listen that ‘We use to be kings and queens.’ Um, if you knew your history you would know not everyone was a king or queen. SOME of us come from royalty. Just some. Take it down a few thousand guys cuz the way most of you sound I don’t feel any royalty coming off you. *shrug*

A look at the histories in many Caucasian cultures (cuz that’s all I got right now) shows that in the past it was not unusual for a woman to marry beneath her station and vice versa and look what Caucasian folk have achieved, world dominance. Yes, I know how and I ain’t here to discuss this on this post. If we could have done it we would have so I’m not going there right now…if ever.

Caucasian folk often married (marry) different classes to form powerful alliances via money, land, etc. Governments were sometimes built and/or destroyed just due to the right or wrong marital alliances. There was always something to be gained by such alliances.

See I can see another way to look at what ST is saying. Right now there doesn’t seem to be that many successful black men out there. Of those that are successful, some are openingly gay, some are confirmed bachelors, and some are seeking exotic women. It’s a mess out here.

As usual, the onus is being put on black women to continue the black race…by any means necessary. That means marrying someone not as educated, not as cultured, not as refined, not as wise (if you got more than 2 kids with more than 1 baby momma you ain’t too wise in my book), not as articulate and perhaps not even as ambitious. That means knowing that you can run circles around this man in every way possible and still respecting him enough to take the backseat and let him be the head of the household even though your income is the reason the household exists. In essence taking the backseat to a man who didn’t have the sense to try to take the same law abiding road out of poverty that you did. *nervous system attempts to shut down*

I can’t do it. I tried. He got on my last gotdamned nerve.

For those who have more patience and are not quite as spoiled as my simple azz is you are undertaking a wonderful thing for the future.

Basically, as I look at it, what ST might be saying is that black women are going to have put aside our wants and expectations and accept the black men who are available as they are. You, who can do it, will have to marry and/or have children and raise up the children in hopes that the next generation will benefit from your sacrifice. Each generation of black women will have to refine and refine each generation of black men until there actually are a lot of good black men.

In other words, y’all gonna have to be strong black women again.

For those of you who undertake this cause please make note of the following numbers becuz some of you are going to need them:

Alcoholics Anonymous (212) 870-3400


Narcotics Anonymous (818) 773-9999


Gamblers Anonymous (213) 386-8789


House of Ruth 909-988-5559


Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (ooooh a toll free number they mean business)

It’s not going to be easy trying to uplift the black man, mostly on your own and without him knowing it too. You will more than likely never get the credit for it but in the end it will be worth it. Again, I salute you who choose this unselfish, self-sacrificing path.

Good luck with that.

*opens sex toys website*