Well, it too 3 prods but she finally sent me her unemployed friend's email and he got right back to me that he didn't think he was qualified. So that is something.
... Still though...ruminating on something. Will update soon.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Women are some mean and nasty heffas...sometimes.
Why are we women so mean and nasty *pause and eye roll* sometimes?
I know. I know. We aren’t always mean and nasty. We can be loving, nurturing, caring, etc, etc. But I declare for all of that we can be some mean and nasty heffas.
Ok, here is the latest.
In March I ordered some slacks from my favorite mail order catalog. I ordered them in the size I have been ordering my clothes in for the last 5 years or more. When they arrived I tried them on eagerly. And they fit like I ordered them two sizes too small! I took each pair off and checked the size label and sure enough they were the size I had ordered. I mean with the first pair I could lie to myself and say they were cut small but when I got to the wide legged pair of pants I had ordered there was no way to hide behind the lie.
I immediately went to consult my bathroom scale. Sure enough, it seems that while I was snowed in I had picked up about 10 pounds. *sigh*
So, I thought about it and decided to drop the 10 pounds instead of ordering larger sizes. I started small in mid March. I dropped about 5 pounds in a few weeks. Then around the last week of March one of the members of my new online hangout Baller Alert (www.baleralert.com) issued a get healthy challenge to the members. Just 30 days of living right.
Since I still had 5 pounds to go to get comfortably into my new clothes I figured what the heck and joined in. I got rid of all the white sugar and now use raw sugar or brown sugar. I no longer eat white bread. *gasp and grabs chest* You have no idea how much that hurt. I am a bread junky. I love breads and rolls. Luckily, I can still have rye and pumpernickel. Whole wheat bread takes a whole lot of getting use to. I still am trying to get use to it. But the change cut down on my carb intake that’s for sure. I went from 6-8 servings of bread a day down to 2 servings of bread a day. *chuckle*
Something I’d like to pass on about switching over to whole grain breads…drink lots and lots of water! *chuckle* Now I get between 64-70 ounces of water in me a day on a regular. But with switching over to eating whole grains I HAD to up that to no less than 80 ounces of water a day. Having my bowels locked up or slow for over 2 weeks was enough to convince me of that. Took me another week to get them unlocked and I am still working on getting them back to their regular 2-3 times a day schedule.
So anyway, while I was at it I stopped eating fried foods. If it isn’t baked, boiled, broiled, steamed or stir fried in olive oil then it doesn’t cross my lips. I’ve done well, even though for the last week I have been dying for a piece of Popeye’s fried chicken. So far I am fighting the craving.
So far I’ve dropped over 20 pounds since March. I am in my new slacks and loving the way they hang on me now. *smile*
So one of the ladies on my job noticed that I was losing weight. She asked me what I was doing and I told her and blah blah blah. That should have been the end of it, right? *tired side eye* Wrong.
So she told the other women in our little section. So they all had to come look at me and ask questions. That would have been so nice if that had been the end of it. But no…she had to tell one more woman outside of our section. You’d think this lady of the church, pastor’s wife and all would have been supportive. You’d think. You really would. But that’s not the feeling I got from her.
So, she came by with the normal questions and I gave the normal answers. Then this: “Nothing fried at all?”
No.
“Not even a french fry?”
No.
Then she rubs her stomach that looks as if she is 8 months pregnant and shakes her head. “Oh. I couldn’t do that. You know you can bake french fries in the oven and that’s not as bad.”
I smiled my bland little smile that I give to people trying to tell me to have a baby right quick and said nothing.
What I felt like saying was this:
Sweetie, I didn’t ask you for your advice. You came around to my office which is half a floor away from you to be nosey and ask me questions. I didn’t walk around to your office half a floor away to tell/order/ask/coerce you into joining me in my quest to get healthy. I neither need nor want an oven baked french fry or anything else fried. I’m good. I am satisfied with my slow steady weight loss. I ain’t denying myself anything that I need. I get plenty of rest and drink plenty of water. I eat about 3 meals a day and have found that I actually like baked Lays potato chips. They kinda taste like Pringles (my addiction) and have only 2 grams of fat. I eat sorbet instead of ice cream. Yoplait yogurt is my brand of crack now. I haven’t even started exercising, yet. I thought I’d see how much I could lose without really trying first.
So if my 20+ pounds is hurting your feelings then hold on, momma, cuz as soon as I hit my first plateau I will be kicking it into gear and starting my exercise regime. You, Mrs. Pastor’s Wife, first lady of the church will really be hating then. *smh*
Why couldn’t she just say good job and keep it moving like everyone else? Like I’ve done to other people who have lost weight in the past? *smh* Pastor’s wife. Church folk.
My childhood pastor use to say that the devil comes to church, too. Dang. He didn’t tell me how high up in the ministerial hierarchy he could go. *smh*
*tips Stewart’s crème soda bottle at monitor*
I know. I know. We aren’t always mean and nasty. We can be loving, nurturing, caring, etc, etc. But I declare for all of that we can be some mean and nasty heffas.
Ok, here is the latest.
In March I ordered some slacks from my favorite mail order catalog. I ordered them in the size I have been ordering my clothes in for the last 5 years or more. When they arrived I tried them on eagerly. And they fit like I ordered them two sizes too small! I took each pair off and checked the size label and sure enough they were the size I had ordered. I mean with the first pair I could lie to myself and say they were cut small but when I got to the wide legged pair of pants I had ordered there was no way to hide behind the lie.
I immediately went to consult my bathroom scale. Sure enough, it seems that while I was snowed in I had picked up about 10 pounds. *sigh*
So, I thought about it and decided to drop the 10 pounds instead of ordering larger sizes. I started small in mid March. I dropped about 5 pounds in a few weeks. Then around the last week of March one of the members of my new online hangout Baller Alert (www.baleralert.com) issued a get healthy challenge to the members. Just 30 days of living right.
Since I still had 5 pounds to go to get comfortably into my new clothes I figured what the heck and joined in. I got rid of all the white sugar and now use raw sugar or brown sugar. I no longer eat white bread. *gasp and grabs chest* You have no idea how much that hurt. I am a bread junky. I love breads and rolls. Luckily, I can still have rye and pumpernickel. Whole wheat bread takes a whole lot of getting use to. I still am trying to get use to it. But the change cut down on my carb intake that’s for sure. I went from 6-8 servings of bread a day down to 2 servings of bread a day. *chuckle*
Something I’d like to pass on about switching over to whole grain breads…drink lots and lots of water! *chuckle* Now I get between 64-70 ounces of water in me a day on a regular. But with switching over to eating whole grains I HAD to up that to no less than 80 ounces of water a day. Having my bowels locked up or slow for over 2 weeks was enough to convince me of that. Took me another week to get them unlocked and I am still working on getting them back to their regular 2-3 times a day schedule.
So anyway, while I was at it I stopped eating fried foods. If it isn’t baked, boiled, broiled, steamed or stir fried in olive oil then it doesn’t cross my lips. I’ve done well, even though for the last week I have been dying for a piece of Popeye’s fried chicken. So far I am fighting the craving.
So far I’ve dropped over 20 pounds since March. I am in my new slacks and loving the way they hang on me now. *smile*
So one of the ladies on my job noticed that I was losing weight. She asked me what I was doing and I told her and blah blah blah. That should have been the end of it, right? *tired side eye* Wrong.
So she told the other women in our little section. So they all had to come look at me and ask questions. That would have been so nice if that had been the end of it. But no…she had to tell one more woman outside of our section. You’d think this lady of the church, pastor’s wife and all would have been supportive. You’d think. You really would. But that’s not the feeling I got from her.
So, she came by with the normal questions and I gave the normal answers. Then this: “Nothing fried at all?”
No.
“Not even a french fry?”
No.
Then she rubs her stomach that looks as if she is 8 months pregnant and shakes her head. “Oh. I couldn’t do that. You know you can bake french fries in the oven and that’s not as bad.”
I smiled my bland little smile that I give to people trying to tell me to have a baby right quick and said nothing.
What I felt like saying was this:
Sweetie, I didn’t ask you for your advice. You came around to my office which is half a floor away from you to be nosey and ask me questions. I didn’t walk around to your office half a floor away to tell/order/ask/coerce you into joining me in my quest to get healthy. I neither need nor want an oven baked french fry or anything else fried. I’m good. I am satisfied with my slow steady weight loss. I ain’t denying myself anything that I need. I get plenty of rest and drink plenty of water. I eat about 3 meals a day and have found that I actually like baked Lays potato chips. They kinda taste like Pringles (my addiction) and have only 2 grams of fat. I eat sorbet instead of ice cream. Yoplait yogurt is my brand of crack now. I haven’t even started exercising, yet. I thought I’d see how much I could lose without really trying first.
So if my 20+ pounds is hurting your feelings then hold on, momma, cuz as soon as I hit my first plateau I will be kicking it into gear and starting my exercise regime. You, Mrs. Pastor’s Wife, first lady of the church will really be hating then. *smh*
Why couldn’t she just say good job and keep it moving like everyone else? Like I’ve done to other people who have lost weight in the past? *smh* Pastor’s wife. Church folk.
My childhood pastor use to say that the devil comes to church, too. Dang. He didn’t tell me how high up in the ministerial hierarchy he could go. *smh*
*tips Stewart’s crème soda bottle at monitor*
Saturday, June 5, 2010
I THINK he’s still playing you.
*Now Playing Through the Fire – Chaka Khan*
Again, I don’t claim to be an expert on human nature, only a student and I still THINK my co-worker’s husband is playing her. *smh*
See, since I got back from vacation she has been bouncing around and bragging about all the great sex she has been getting lately. When I say bouncing, I mean dancing and backing that thang (her butt) up and everything. She has been getting all this since she went to a therapist, told him she was going to get on some meds and told him that if he is allowed to date then so is she. *smh chuckling*
I just laugh with her and chase her out of my office. We do this a couple times a week. She is really happy right now. *skeptical side-eye*
But see…I gotta wonder about his motives. Again, I don’t know this man nor does it have anything to do with my home, paycheck or bills. But she invited me into her mess and *shrug* I like to study my fellow human beings and their behavior and motives.
What I neglected to include when I first told this story was that when he moved out he told her that the last 18 months had been just miserable for him. He didn’t even want to come home from work becuz of ABC through XYZ issues. Now at the time they had only been married 14 MONTHS! This means he was miserable before he even said “I do.” When she questioned him on why he didn’t stop the wedding his response was that he saw how happy it was making her so he just went along with it.
*head cocked side eye*
Soooooooooooooooooooo…(if he is to be believed) if he lived 18 months of his life to please her then wouldn’t it stand to reason that he is doing this now too just to make her happy? If so, then isn’t he still the same miserable man who left home a few months ago by coming back to her? No, I don’t know if he has moved back in and I ain’t asking. I don’t prod, people just tell me stuff. *shrug*
No, none of the issues that he said made him move out have been resolved according to her. So…*head scratch*why is he back? Cuz, I don’t want to be standing beside her azz when he decides he can’t be with her azz any more and the only way he can be free is to do a drive by as she leaves work or heads to lunch, or what have you.
I still remember the woman Oprah had on her show who had been set ablaze by her (ex)boyfriend or (ex)husband (again, I forget which) at her place of employment. Bmore ninjas are no joke either. We had a case here in Bmore where the husband killed his wife when she came to court for the restraining order hearing. HE KILLED HER IN THE COURTHOUSE!!!!
Then of course there is always an insurance scheme. Our employer gives us $5,000 of life insurance free of charge. For an additional charge they will up it. For about $5 per pay you can get up to 4 times your salary. I ain’t saying he would, I’m just saying…think about it.
I reiterate: Baltimore where the cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
*smh* I wish people were a little wiser about their interpersonal relationships. *sigh* This should be an interesting summer.
*Tips empty ice tea glass at monitor*
Again, I don’t claim to be an expert on human nature, only a student and I still THINK my co-worker’s husband is playing her. *smh*
See, since I got back from vacation she has been bouncing around and bragging about all the great sex she has been getting lately. When I say bouncing, I mean dancing and backing that thang (her butt) up and everything. She has been getting all this since she went to a therapist, told him she was going to get on some meds and told him that if he is allowed to date then so is she. *smh chuckling*
I just laugh with her and chase her out of my office. We do this a couple times a week. She is really happy right now. *skeptical side-eye*
But see…I gotta wonder about his motives. Again, I don’t know this man nor does it have anything to do with my home, paycheck or bills. But she invited me into her mess and *shrug* I like to study my fellow human beings and their behavior and motives.
What I neglected to include when I first told this story was that when he moved out he told her that the last 18 months had been just miserable for him. He didn’t even want to come home from work becuz of ABC through XYZ issues. Now at the time they had only been married 14 MONTHS! This means he was miserable before he even said “I do.” When she questioned him on why he didn’t stop the wedding his response was that he saw how happy it was making her so he just went along with it.
*head cocked side eye*
Soooooooooooooooooooo…(if he is to be believed) if he lived 18 months of his life to please her then wouldn’t it stand to reason that he is doing this now too just to make her happy? If so, then isn’t he still the same miserable man who left home a few months ago by coming back to her? No, I don’t know if he has moved back in and I ain’t asking. I don’t prod, people just tell me stuff. *shrug*
No, none of the issues that he said made him move out have been resolved according to her. So…*head scratch*why is he back? Cuz, I don’t want to be standing beside her azz when he decides he can’t be with her azz any more and the only way he can be free is to do a drive by as she leaves work or heads to lunch, or what have you.
I still remember the woman Oprah had on her show who had been set ablaze by her (ex)boyfriend or (ex)husband (again, I forget which) at her place of employment. Bmore ninjas are no joke either. We had a case here in Bmore where the husband killed his wife when she came to court for the restraining order hearing. HE KILLED HER IN THE COURTHOUSE!!!!
Then of course there is always an insurance scheme. Our employer gives us $5,000 of life insurance free of charge. For an additional charge they will up it. For about $5 per pay you can get up to 4 times your salary. I ain’t saying he would, I’m just saying…think about it.
I reiterate: Baltimore where the cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
*smh* I wish people were a little wiser about their interpersonal relationships. *sigh* This should be an interesting summer.
*Tips empty ice tea glass at monitor*
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
My Best Baltimore Buddy (MB3)
So I went to lunch Sunday 5/16/10 with MB3. I haven’t seen her or been out with her this year. She works for an accounting firm and as such after the first of the year her life is a whole lot of crazy. We keep in contact during these first 4 months of the year by either phone or text. *shrug* That’s life.
She is one of my few remaining friends who are always bemoaning their lives. I long since stopped trying to get them to see the sunshine in their lives. They are always thinking it’s raining on them so I let them. I’ve tried until I was broken and tired myself. I was expending so much energy on trying to get them to be happy that I was neglecting myself. So I stopped. Now I just let them rain on themselves.
I make sure I let them know I got problems too so that they can go on thinking that we are good miserable company together. *shaking my head* You know I’m blessed and don’t fall into that mess but every so often. Everyone, including me, throws a pity party from time to time. But after a few hours my pity party is over and I remember where I’ve been and where I am and I am ashamed and pick myself up, dust myself off and get back to living.
So, I get myself in the mood to listen to her latest troubles. Well, her daughter (24-25 years old) has been laid off. *side eye left, side eye right* Her daughter is young and mouthy. In my early 20s you couldn’t tell me a whole lot of shyt either before I would be quitting my job. <--- Did you read that sentence right? The operative word there is QUITTING. They didn’t fire me. Half the time they didn’t know they had gotten to me until after I quit. When you seem to be in a good mood like I do most of the time people never really know whether they are plucking my nerves until I’m gone.
My work ethic is that I am going to do the best job I can with the tools my employer gives me in the time that I contracted to be on the job. If I find that I cannot tolerate something on the job, I will bring it up to the powers that be. If they tell me, as people have more times than I feel like going into, to suck it up this is the job then it is up to me to take it in stride accordingly…until I find a new job. That is all. I am not going to catch an attitude. I am not going to shirk my duties. I am not going to do a lot of the unprofessional things I have seen people do when their job pisses them off.
I will, however, throw every bit of my free time and energy into finding a new job. In all instances, people realize after I am gone that they should have listened to me and that employees with my work ethic DO NOT GROW ON TREES!
People do not raise their children like my mother and countless other parents of her generation raised me and countless others in my generation. Therefore, these children in adult bodies entering the workforce now are going to take some retraining. *chuckle* Good luck with that.
One of these children in adult bodies is MB3’s daughter. She is an only child and she is what I call spoiled rotten and her mother isn’t done spoiling her. Sad to say but oh so true. Her daughter is lazy and doesn’t want to work.
*shrug* I can relate. I don’t want to work either but I got to eat, sleep, and shyt and I need a home to do it in and I don’t have anyone working for me but me so off to work I go.
MB3’s daughter on the other hand has her mother and she works the hell out of her mother and her mother lets her.
In the beginning, I felt sorry for MB3 until I realized that this was her child, her home, and she seemed to need or want the drama. *shrug* So I stopped offering advice that she wasn’t gonna take and just shut up and listen.
But her daughter is starting to wear her out. *smh* I feel sorry for her daughter when she does. I foresee an early grave for MB3. And this is why.
Supposedly, MB3’s daughter was laid off. Now, MB3’s daughter, let’s call her Bonequisha is living in her grandparents paid for home. She pays MB3 rent to live there with her live in baby daddy, her two daughters and his two sons. Every now and again the baby daddy’s other son comes to visit, too, but his momma has custody of him.
The financials of Bonequisha’s home before she was “laid off” were this. She was bringing home $1500/month and getting WIC for her girls. Baby daddy had a job plus a sideline job plus a check for his two boys (their momma is a drug addict and does not contribute to their welfare at all – gotta love the government) plus food stamps, but he does pay child support for the son who lives with his momma.
Still they were living pretty flush. They weren’t paying nearly what they should have been paying to live in a 3 bedroom home with finished basement and a washer/dryer. They were going out to eat 2-3 times a week. Neither of them has a car so MB3 was driving them around to shop, groceries, outings, etc. Yes, I am totally serious.
True Story: Baby daddy (30 odd years old), let’s call him LaCantrelle, had had a headache for 3 days. They informed MB3 that they needed to go to the ER. She drove them and came back and picked them up.
She is their ambulance, hack, taxi service and school bus driver. She drops the kids off in the morning and uses her lunch hour to pick them up from school every day…all 4 of them. When they were flush they gave her not one thin dime of gas money. I guess they thought the rent that was at least $500 cheaper than what others were paying on the block was enough to cover it. *shrug* Not my problem.
So now that Bonequisha is “laid off” I asked MB3 over lunch had her unemployment kicked in. MB3 started stuttering. That’s when I knew she had been fired and MB3 was about to lie for her daughter yet again. MB3 has been doing it since Bonequisha was a child so I’m use to it by now.
Unemployment denied Bonequisha’s application becuz the employer said they let her go with cause. Maryland is an at will employment state, however, if an employer lets you go without cause then the employer has to pay your unemployment.
I asked did they have proof. MB3 said no. So I asked did she appeal. She said she will. Then she went on to say that they were picking on her daughter blah blah blah. Same shyt I have been hearing for years. Bonequisha is an innocent little lamb and everyone is always picking on her. Whatever.
So now Bonequisha is sitting home on her azz doing nothing from the sounds of it. LaCantrelle is working and carrying it all and he does not like it one bit. Problem is that he really doesn’t have anywhere else to go.
When Bonequisha met him he was living with his parents in their home, with his sister and her children and his children. Bonequisha’s oldest daughter, my brilliant goddaughter, said it was noisy down there and she didn’t like going there. I can just imagine.
I imagine that they have stretched out on the old home front and wouldn’t be enthusiastic about him coming back. His oldest son has abandonment and food issues. Remember his two boys’ momma is a drug addict. I can’t begin to imagine the hell that they have been through in their young lives. The oldest one overeats, is scared to be left anywhere, lies a lot, is disrespectful and mouthy. He caused a lot of problems at his grandparents’ home.
Yeah, I don’t believe LaCantrelle has too many options. He’s a black man working, true, but he’s also a black man with 4 kids. If he left Bonequisha he would be paying child support for 2 kids now and caring for 2 others. *smh* N*ggas really need to learn to keep it in their pants or lobby for birth control for men. *shrug* IJS
I don’t pry so I didn’t ask but I figure that MB3 has reduced their rent. MB3 is now looking for a part time job to help her daughter out. *long pause full of eye rolls and smh* Yup, that’s what MB3 told me. I wished her luck.
Anyway, I think our friendship is at a conclusion and this is why. She has a buddy, let’s call him Leroy, who worked with her. Due to some misunderstanding between him and one of his superiors he was fired from their job. He had been there 10+ years. He always did a good job and MB3 says he only did what another superior told him to do. That superior denied any wrong doing on her part so they fired Leroy.
He didn’t steal or do anything illegal but he did make a huge error. He’s been out of work for awhile now and since he was fired for cause he hasn’t been able to draw unemployment. He has one child and is one of those fathers actually up to date on his child support payments. He doesn’t just spend money on his child but he spends TIME with his child. And he has a crazy baby momma. I’ve met the heffa, she’s good and crazy.
Why do all the good men end up with crazy baby mommas/girlfriends/wives/boyfriends? I thought the opposite of nice was mean but evidently it is crazy cuz that’s what nice people seem to attract. Crazy.
Anyway, we’ve got an opening at my job that I thought might be a good fit for him so I told MB3 to tell him to send me his resume. That was 5/16/10.
As of today, 06/02/10, I still don’t have his resume. Thursday, 5/27/10, I asked MB3 was Leroy interested in the job. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s possible she forgot to mention it. I sent her a text to jog her memory in case she did. With her cell in her hand she could just forward my text to him. Instead, she asked me did we have any admin positions open. *suspicious expression*
NOW, if she is asking for herself, fine. She has a FANTASTIC work ethic and her boss treats her like crap. I’d sing her praises should anyone ever call me for a job reference for her. I met her on a temp job. I can vouch for her excellent work ethic cuz I’ve seen it in practice. The people from her last job still miss her. They’ve lost work becuz they were too stupid to realize what a good employee they had.
Her current boss started taking her for granted years ago. I’ve been lobbying for years for her to find a new job but she never listens to me. She just complains. *shrug*
If she is asking for her daughter, Bonequisha? OH HELLS NO! Go back and read my description of this child again if you don’t understand why I wouldn’t recommend her for a job in a pie factory. The job she just got fired from she got becuz of her cuzin. So no, I will not be sticking my neck out for Bonequisha. *smh* It ain’t gonna happen.
Luckily, there are no admin jobs available at present and I told her so. So she asks me, what are the qualifications? Ok, I wasn’t texting all that. I gave her the link to the job website and told her to tell him to take a look. That was Thursday. I still don’t have his resume.
*side eye* I am going to give it time but if she doesn’t get me his resume then I know she has really fallen off the friendship track. That she truly is no one’s friend but her daughter’s. That would be fine if the child deserved it.
Bonequisha is one of the most selfish, lazy, spoiled people I have ever met. The stories I could tell. But I’ll tell only one.
A few years ago, MB3 was in an accident. Bonequisha would have been 20-21 then. She lived at home with her mother rent free. Do you know MB3 called me at work to ask me could I bring her something to eat becuz there was nothing in the house to eat.
??????????????????????????????????????????
HOW IN THEE HELL DO YOU HAVE A GROWN AZZ DAUGHTER IN YOUR HOUSE RENT FREE AND THIS LITTLE SELFISH AZZ BYTCH CAN’T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE FOR YOU?
Bonequisha was eating. She was working. She made sure she and her daughter ate but she didn’t bring home anything for her own mother who she was leaching off of to eat.
Wouldn’t you know it, my car wasn’t working so I went grocery shopping and had to catch a hack over to her house. I brought her groceries and a prepared sub sandwich, chips and a soda. She ate half before her daughter got home from work. When her daughter saw what her mother was eating she asked for some. MB3 went to offer her the other half and I said NO! I brought it for your mother since you couldn’t bring her anything to eat. MB3 insisted she wasn’t hungry anymore and offered it to her daughter to keep it from going to waste. *smh*
She denied that child nothing as she raised her and this was how she repaid her mother. *smh* I still can’t get over it. Best birth control in the world is watching how this child treats her own mother.
My mother needed us to cook and clean for her for the last few years of her life. We all said together that one mother raised 4 daughters so there was no reason why 4 daughters couldn’t take care of one mother.
Bonequisha couldn’t give a rats azz about her own mother. *smh* I don’t understand how that happens. And still her mother keeps giving and giving and giving.
But she can’t look out for Leroy? Yeah, if I don’t get his resume or an explanation that he wasn’t interested from her then we are through.
That’s not a friend and I don’t need that type of person in my life.
*smh* You know, I knew that I would lose my male friends in my life as we grew older but I never expected to lose my female friends, too. *smh*
*tips water bottle at monitor*
She is one of my few remaining friends who are always bemoaning their lives. I long since stopped trying to get them to see the sunshine in their lives. They are always thinking it’s raining on them so I let them. I’ve tried until I was broken and tired myself. I was expending so much energy on trying to get them to be happy that I was neglecting myself. So I stopped. Now I just let them rain on themselves.
I make sure I let them know I got problems too so that they can go on thinking that we are good miserable company together. *shaking my head* You know I’m blessed and don’t fall into that mess but every so often. Everyone, including me, throws a pity party from time to time. But after a few hours my pity party is over and I remember where I’ve been and where I am and I am ashamed and pick myself up, dust myself off and get back to living.
So, I get myself in the mood to listen to her latest troubles. Well, her daughter (24-25 years old) has been laid off. *side eye left, side eye right* Her daughter is young and mouthy. In my early 20s you couldn’t tell me a whole lot of shyt either before I would be quitting my job. <--- Did you read that sentence right? The operative word there is QUITTING. They didn’t fire me. Half the time they didn’t know they had gotten to me until after I quit. When you seem to be in a good mood like I do most of the time people never really know whether they are plucking my nerves until I’m gone.
My work ethic is that I am going to do the best job I can with the tools my employer gives me in the time that I contracted to be on the job. If I find that I cannot tolerate something on the job, I will bring it up to the powers that be. If they tell me, as people have more times than I feel like going into, to suck it up this is the job then it is up to me to take it in stride accordingly…until I find a new job. That is all. I am not going to catch an attitude. I am not going to shirk my duties. I am not going to do a lot of the unprofessional things I have seen people do when their job pisses them off.
I will, however, throw every bit of my free time and energy into finding a new job. In all instances, people realize after I am gone that they should have listened to me and that employees with my work ethic DO NOT GROW ON TREES!
People do not raise their children like my mother and countless other parents of her generation raised me and countless others in my generation. Therefore, these children in adult bodies entering the workforce now are going to take some retraining. *chuckle* Good luck with that.
One of these children in adult bodies is MB3’s daughter. She is an only child and she is what I call spoiled rotten and her mother isn’t done spoiling her. Sad to say but oh so true. Her daughter is lazy and doesn’t want to work.
*shrug* I can relate. I don’t want to work either but I got to eat, sleep, and shyt and I need a home to do it in and I don’t have anyone working for me but me so off to work I go.
MB3’s daughter on the other hand has her mother and she works the hell out of her mother and her mother lets her.
In the beginning, I felt sorry for MB3 until I realized that this was her child, her home, and she seemed to need or want the drama. *shrug* So I stopped offering advice that she wasn’t gonna take and just shut up and listen.
But her daughter is starting to wear her out. *smh* I feel sorry for her daughter when she does. I foresee an early grave for MB3. And this is why.
Supposedly, MB3’s daughter was laid off. Now, MB3’s daughter, let’s call her Bonequisha is living in her grandparents paid for home. She pays MB3 rent to live there with her live in baby daddy, her two daughters and his two sons. Every now and again the baby daddy’s other son comes to visit, too, but his momma has custody of him.
The financials of Bonequisha’s home before she was “laid off” were this. She was bringing home $1500/month and getting WIC for her girls. Baby daddy had a job plus a sideline job plus a check for his two boys (their momma is a drug addict and does not contribute to their welfare at all – gotta love the government) plus food stamps, but he does pay child support for the son who lives with his momma.
Still they were living pretty flush. They weren’t paying nearly what they should have been paying to live in a 3 bedroom home with finished basement and a washer/dryer. They were going out to eat 2-3 times a week. Neither of them has a car so MB3 was driving them around to shop, groceries, outings, etc. Yes, I am totally serious.
True Story: Baby daddy (30 odd years old), let’s call him LaCantrelle, had had a headache for 3 days. They informed MB3 that they needed to go to the ER. She drove them and came back and picked them up.
She is their ambulance, hack, taxi service and school bus driver. She drops the kids off in the morning and uses her lunch hour to pick them up from school every day…all 4 of them. When they were flush they gave her not one thin dime of gas money. I guess they thought the rent that was at least $500 cheaper than what others were paying on the block was enough to cover it. *shrug* Not my problem.
So now that Bonequisha is “laid off” I asked MB3 over lunch had her unemployment kicked in. MB3 started stuttering. That’s when I knew she had been fired and MB3 was about to lie for her daughter yet again. MB3 has been doing it since Bonequisha was a child so I’m use to it by now.
Unemployment denied Bonequisha’s application becuz the employer said they let her go with cause. Maryland is an at will employment state, however, if an employer lets you go without cause then the employer has to pay your unemployment.
I asked did they have proof. MB3 said no. So I asked did she appeal. She said she will. Then she went on to say that they were picking on her daughter blah blah blah. Same shyt I have been hearing for years. Bonequisha is an innocent little lamb and everyone is always picking on her. Whatever.
So now Bonequisha is sitting home on her azz doing nothing from the sounds of it. LaCantrelle is working and carrying it all and he does not like it one bit. Problem is that he really doesn’t have anywhere else to go.
When Bonequisha met him he was living with his parents in their home, with his sister and her children and his children. Bonequisha’s oldest daughter, my brilliant goddaughter, said it was noisy down there and she didn’t like going there. I can just imagine.
I imagine that they have stretched out on the old home front and wouldn’t be enthusiastic about him coming back. His oldest son has abandonment and food issues. Remember his two boys’ momma is a drug addict. I can’t begin to imagine the hell that they have been through in their young lives. The oldest one overeats, is scared to be left anywhere, lies a lot, is disrespectful and mouthy. He caused a lot of problems at his grandparents’ home.
Yeah, I don’t believe LaCantrelle has too many options. He’s a black man working, true, but he’s also a black man with 4 kids. If he left Bonequisha he would be paying child support for 2 kids now and caring for 2 others. *smh* N*ggas really need to learn to keep it in their pants or lobby for birth control for men. *shrug* IJS
I don’t pry so I didn’t ask but I figure that MB3 has reduced their rent. MB3 is now looking for a part time job to help her daughter out. *long pause full of eye rolls and smh* Yup, that’s what MB3 told me. I wished her luck.
Anyway, I think our friendship is at a conclusion and this is why. She has a buddy, let’s call him Leroy, who worked with her. Due to some misunderstanding between him and one of his superiors he was fired from their job. He had been there 10+ years. He always did a good job and MB3 says he only did what another superior told him to do. That superior denied any wrong doing on her part so they fired Leroy.
He didn’t steal or do anything illegal but he did make a huge error. He’s been out of work for awhile now and since he was fired for cause he hasn’t been able to draw unemployment. He has one child and is one of those fathers actually up to date on his child support payments. He doesn’t just spend money on his child but he spends TIME with his child. And he has a crazy baby momma. I’ve met the heffa, she’s good and crazy.
Why do all the good men end up with crazy baby mommas/girlfriends/wives/boyfriends? I thought the opposite of nice was mean but evidently it is crazy cuz that’s what nice people seem to attract. Crazy.
Anyway, we’ve got an opening at my job that I thought might be a good fit for him so I told MB3 to tell him to send me his resume. That was 5/16/10.
As of today, 06/02/10, I still don’t have his resume. Thursday, 5/27/10, I asked MB3 was Leroy interested in the job. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s possible she forgot to mention it. I sent her a text to jog her memory in case she did. With her cell in her hand she could just forward my text to him. Instead, she asked me did we have any admin positions open. *suspicious expression*
NOW, if she is asking for herself, fine. She has a FANTASTIC work ethic and her boss treats her like crap. I’d sing her praises should anyone ever call me for a job reference for her. I met her on a temp job. I can vouch for her excellent work ethic cuz I’ve seen it in practice. The people from her last job still miss her. They’ve lost work becuz they were too stupid to realize what a good employee they had.
Her current boss started taking her for granted years ago. I’ve been lobbying for years for her to find a new job but she never listens to me. She just complains. *shrug*
If she is asking for her daughter, Bonequisha? OH HELLS NO! Go back and read my description of this child again if you don’t understand why I wouldn’t recommend her for a job in a pie factory. The job she just got fired from she got becuz of her cuzin. So no, I will not be sticking my neck out for Bonequisha. *smh* It ain’t gonna happen.
Luckily, there are no admin jobs available at present and I told her so. So she asks me, what are the qualifications? Ok, I wasn’t texting all that. I gave her the link to the job website and told her to tell him to take a look. That was Thursday. I still don’t have his resume.
*side eye* I am going to give it time but if she doesn’t get me his resume then I know she has really fallen off the friendship track. That she truly is no one’s friend but her daughter’s. That would be fine if the child deserved it.
Bonequisha is one of the most selfish, lazy, spoiled people I have ever met. The stories I could tell. But I’ll tell only one.
A few years ago, MB3 was in an accident. Bonequisha would have been 20-21 then. She lived at home with her mother rent free. Do you know MB3 called me at work to ask me could I bring her something to eat becuz there was nothing in the house to eat.
??????????????????????????????????????????
HOW IN THEE HELL DO YOU HAVE A GROWN AZZ DAUGHTER IN YOUR HOUSE RENT FREE AND THIS LITTLE SELFISH AZZ BYTCH CAN’T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE FOR YOU?
Bonequisha was eating. She was working. She made sure she and her daughter ate but she didn’t bring home anything for her own mother who she was leaching off of to eat.
Wouldn’t you know it, my car wasn’t working so I went grocery shopping and had to catch a hack over to her house. I brought her groceries and a prepared sub sandwich, chips and a soda. She ate half before her daughter got home from work. When her daughter saw what her mother was eating she asked for some. MB3 went to offer her the other half and I said NO! I brought it for your mother since you couldn’t bring her anything to eat. MB3 insisted she wasn’t hungry anymore and offered it to her daughter to keep it from going to waste. *smh*
She denied that child nothing as she raised her and this was how she repaid her mother. *smh* I still can’t get over it. Best birth control in the world is watching how this child treats her own mother.
My mother needed us to cook and clean for her for the last few years of her life. We all said together that one mother raised 4 daughters so there was no reason why 4 daughters couldn’t take care of one mother.
Bonequisha couldn’t give a rats azz about her own mother. *smh* I don’t understand how that happens. And still her mother keeps giving and giving and giving.
But she can’t look out for Leroy? Yeah, if I don’t get his resume or an explanation that he wasn’t interested from her then we are through.
That’s not a friend and I don’t need that type of person in my life.
*smh* You know, I knew that I would lose my male friends in my life as we grew older but I never expected to lose my female friends, too. *smh*
*tips water bottle at monitor*
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
How to be a nice girl/woman and not get murdered - II
*Waves yogurt cup at monitor*
So I'm back with 5 more to add to my guide. I hope all the nice folks are still here with us or as many as could be saved.
6. Lock your doors and windows on both your home and vehicle. Sorry, you ain’t in Heaven yet and if you ain’t trying to go today I suggest you act like you know you are not in Heaven. Close and lock your doors and windows.
I don’t care where you live and how SAFE you THINK you are. If you live in a gated community then 9 times out of 10 you are gated in with your would be attacker. They are the handy man, gardener, property manager, real estate agent. They will be someone you either would trust or don’t notice going about their lives. They are watching you and you don’t even know it.
TRUE STORY: Happened just this past winter in Bmore. After one of our snowstorms a man knocks on a woman’s door asking to shovel her walk for an agreed upon price. He does the work, she pays him and he leaves. He also comes back later and rapes her.
The people you don’t think are thinking about you ARE thinking about you.
So lock it up for your own safety.
7. Get a weapon. Yeah, for serious or seriously. I would prefer you get something by Smith and Wesson or one of their competitors but if you are truly opposed to such things in your home may I suggest mace, pepper spray, and/or a taser? Keep something readily at hand everywhere you would be in your home no matter what you decide.
8. Get opaque window curtains…and close them when in any and all states of undress. I don’t care whether you have window blinds or window shades you still need opaque window curtains. I offer you this story as proof:
I believe I read this story in Westlaw while temping for a law firm. I was in my 20s then. A woman was raped by a man whose defense was that he was walking by her window one night and peeped in. After watching what she was doing HE DECIDED she could use his services and broke in and raped the woman. That was his defense. Seriously. You know he was found guilty and sent to jail. He was a total stranger to this woman but he thought she could use his services just from what she was doing. *smh* Now this woman has this horrible memory etched into her mind forever and by now he is probably out of jail messing up some other woman’s life.
Get thee to a window treatment department/store and get thee some opaque window curtains. Get some ties so that you can tie them back to let in the daylight if you must. But get them. I am debating about telling you my story…yeah I guess I might as well.
Like I said in Rule # 5, listen to your instincts. My instincts had been telling me that someone was watching me in the mornings as I dressed. But I just told myself I was getting silly in my old age cuz I had blinds. They were closed and I had parked behind my apartment one evening and looked up at my bedroom windows and saw nothing. I had even left my lights on so that I would be sure that you couldn’t see through my blinds.
Yeah…what I didn’t know was that if you stood in a certain spot you could see right into my well lit bedroom and watch me dress and undress. I can’t understand why anyone would do this but low and behold whoever he was he couldn’t keep it to himself. I was dressing one morning and I heard these guys talking behind my building and making comments about various parts of some chick’s anatomy.
Now what are the odds that there could be two women standing naked in their bedrooms? Well, take into account that on one side of me was a dude’s apartment both upstairs and downstairs. The apartment on the other side was empty and the chick that lived downstairs from me had already left for work. The apartment under the empty apartment had an elderly widower in it. Yup, they had to be talking about me especially after I bent over and I heard the azz comments.
I stood up with my towel and turned off the lights and ended the show, PERMANENTLY. *smh* Please tell me the point of all that? And yes, I had the chance to ogle an attractive male neighbor in his state of undress once. I glanced briefly and kept it moving. He had his blinds and curtains wide open so he really couldn’t expect but so much privacy. I on the other hand, had closed my blinds I just didn’t know that they had a weak spot. So, I lived and learned. You live and learn from these two experiences please and get opaque curtains for every window in your home. EVERY WINDOW!!!! I don’t care how small the window, a perverted mind will find a way to make it work for them. Don’t give them an in.
9. If held up, don’t argue with the criminal. Give him/her anything they ask for except your life. If they try to snatch your purse, let that thing go…I don’t care if it’s your favorite. You came into this world naked and you are going out the same way. You gonna look real stupid at the Pearly Gates trying to explain that to whoever is on duty. (I do not believe St. Peter is there all the time, he was one of Jesus’ favorites you know. He and Jesus might like to get together and chat from time to time. IJS)
*holding up hands* Yes, I know the principle of the thing. It is yours and they don’t have a right to it. But on the real, I’ve found that no matter what people take from you by force or trickery it almost always finds its way back to you in some way shape or form. And it profits the person doing the stealing nothing. So let it go already.
10. Pay attention to your surroundings. Again, stop bouncing around like Pollyanna, Gidget, Sandra Dee, and Snow White. It’s okay to look around as you are going about your day. Pay attention to what is going on around you. I know it is the norm today to plug in and zone out but for real…when you are a nice person you can’t afford to do that. Cuz while you are zoning out a person with bad intentions may be zoning into you. There are worse people out there than Hello Kitty Slut.
TRUE FAMILY STORY: I was to meet my oldest sister at her home. It was winter time and well after 7 pm so it was dark. I was driving at the time and arrived early so I sat in my car and waited. Though I have a key to her home, she has a security system and I can’t remember the code for jack. *embarrassed chuckle*
Anyhoodles, I saw her car pass me. I had purposely left the spot in front of her door open for her to park. I waited till she parked and gathered up her belongings to get out of her car. She was wearing a big bulky coat which prevented her from seeing anyone in her peripheral vision. That was why I was shocked when she got out her car without looking behind her, even after I SLAMMED my car door as I walked away from it. Now since she had parked not another car had come down the street. That fact alone would have made me turn toward the sound but my sister kept moving like she heard nothing. I walked up behind her and followed her up her steps. I stood and waited patiently behind her as she opened her door.
Now I thought she would surely turn and see me behind her as she tried to close her door but…she…SHE NEVER TURNED AROUND!!!! Instead she continued into the house leaving the door ajar to put down her purse and bags. Then she removed her coat AND THEN she turned to shut and lock the door.
WTH???? I was already in her house and she had no clue I was behind her. The look of shock on her face when she finally turned and saw me would have been funny if not for how serious the situation really was. What if I had been someone who wanted to harm her?
If a criminal had wanted her car, they could have had it. If they’d wanted to rape her, they could have done it. Or worse…*smh*
Is my sister a nice person? She has done wonderful things for children from all walks of life, socioeconomic backgrounds, and skin colors. She is one of those unsung heroes. And for donating so much of her life and time to the future, children, I think that makes her a great person. *side-eye* Our relationship, however, is another story. God ain’t through with either of us, yet. Regardless of our relationship I would never wish her any harm. That is the truth.
So this is what I got right now…I got a few more rolling around in my head and will update when I get a chance. My job is kicking my azz right now. *smh exasperated* But I gotta eat, shyt and sleep so to work I go. In the meantime, take heed and take care.
You can also find this guide on my friend Hello Kitty Slut's website: http://hellokittyslut.com/
*tips water bottle at monitor*
So I'm back with 5 more to add to my guide. I hope all the nice folks are still here with us or as many as could be saved.
6. Lock your doors and windows on both your home and vehicle. Sorry, you ain’t in Heaven yet and if you ain’t trying to go today I suggest you act like you know you are not in Heaven. Close and lock your doors and windows.
I don’t care where you live and how SAFE you THINK you are. If you live in a gated community then 9 times out of 10 you are gated in with your would be attacker. They are the handy man, gardener, property manager, real estate agent. They will be someone you either would trust or don’t notice going about their lives. They are watching you and you don’t even know it.
TRUE STORY: Happened just this past winter in Bmore. After one of our snowstorms a man knocks on a woman’s door asking to shovel her walk for an agreed upon price. He does the work, she pays him and he leaves. He also comes back later and rapes her.
The people you don’t think are thinking about you ARE thinking about you.
So lock it up for your own safety.
7. Get a weapon. Yeah, for serious or seriously. I would prefer you get something by Smith and Wesson or one of their competitors but if you are truly opposed to such things in your home may I suggest mace, pepper spray, and/or a taser? Keep something readily at hand everywhere you would be in your home no matter what you decide.
8. Get opaque window curtains…and close them when in any and all states of undress. I don’t care whether you have window blinds or window shades you still need opaque window curtains. I offer you this story as proof:
I believe I read this story in Westlaw while temping for a law firm. I was in my 20s then. A woman was raped by a man whose defense was that he was walking by her window one night and peeped in. After watching what she was doing HE DECIDED she could use his services and broke in and raped the woman. That was his defense. Seriously. You know he was found guilty and sent to jail. He was a total stranger to this woman but he thought she could use his services just from what she was doing. *smh* Now this woman has this horrible memory etched into her mind forever and by now he is probably out of jail messing up some other woman’s life.
Get thee to a window treatment department/store and get thee some opaque window curtains. Get some ties so that you can tie them back to let in the daylight if you must. But get them. I am debating about telling you my story…yeah I guess I might as well.
Like I said in Rule # 5, listen to your instincts. My instincts had been telling me that someone was watching me in the mornings as I dressed. But I just told myself I was getting silly in my old age cuz I had blinds. They were closed and I had parked behind my apartment one evening and looked up at my bedroom windows and saw nothing. I had even left my lights on so that I would be sure that you couldn’t see through my blinds.
Yeah…what I didn’t know was that if you stood in a certain spot you could see right into my well lit bedroom and watch me dress and undress. I can’t understand why anyone would do this but low and behold whoever he was he couldn’t keep it to himself. I was dressing one morning and I heard these guys talking behind my building and making comments about various parts of some chick’s anatomy.
Now what are the odds that there could be two women standing naked in their bedrooms? Well, take into account that on one side of me was a dude’s apartment both upstairs and downstairs. The apartment on the other side was empty and the chick that lived downstairs from me had already left for work. The apartment under the empty apartment had an elderly widower in it. Yup, they had to be talking about me especially after I bent over and I heard the azz comments.
I stood up with my towel and turned off the lights and ended the show, PERMANENTLY. *smh* Please tell me the point of all that? And yes, I had the chance to ogle an attractive male neighbor in his state of undress once. I glanced briefly and kept it moving. He had his blinds and curtains wide open so he really couldn’t expect but so much privacy. I on the other hand, had closed my blinds I just didn’t know that they had a weak spot. So, I lived and learned. You live and learn from these two experiences please and get opaque curtains for every window in your home. EVERY WINDOW!!!! I don’t care how small the window, a perverted mind will find a way to make it work for them. Don’t give them an in.
9. If held up, don’t argue with the criminal. Give him/her anything they ask for except your life. If they try to snatch your purse, let that thing go…I don’t care if it’s your favorite. You came into this world naked and you are going out the same way. You gonna look real stupid at the Pearly Gates trying to explain that to whoever is on duty. (I do not believe St. Peter is there all the time, he was one of Jesus’ favorites you know. He and Jesus might like to get together and chat from time to time. IJS)
*holding up hands* Yes, I know the principle of the thing. It is yours and they don’t have a right to it. But on the real, I’ve found that no matter what people take from you by force or trickery it almost always finds its way back to you in some way shape or form. And it profits the person doing the stealing nothing. So let it go already.
10. Pay attention to your surroundings. Again, stop bouncing around like Pollyanna, Gidget, Sandra Dee, and Snow White. It’s okay to look around as you are going about your day. Pay attention to what is going on around you. I know it is the norm today to plug in and zone out but for real…when you are a nice person you can’t afford to do that. Cuz while you are zoning out a person with bad intentions may be zoning into you. There are worse people out there than Hello Kitty Slut.
TRUE FAMILY STORY: I was to meet my oldest sister at her home. It was winter time and well after 7 pm so it was dark. I was driving at the time and arrived early so I sat in my car and waited. Though I have a key to her home, she has a security system and I can’t remember the code for jack. *embarrassed chuckle*
Anyhoodles, I saw her car pass me. I had purposely left the spot in front of her door open for her to park. I waited till she parked and gathered up her belongings to get out of her car. She was wearing a big bulky coat which prevented her from seeing anyone in her peripheral vision. That was why I was shocked when she got out her car without looking behind her, even after I SLAMMED my car door as I walked away from it. Now since she had parked not another car had come down the street. That fact alone would have made me turn toward the sound but my sister kept moving like she heard nothing. I walked up behind her and followed her up her steps. I stood and waited patiently behind her as she opened her door.
Now I thought she would surely turn and see me behind her as she tried to close her door but…she…SHE NEVER TURNED AROUND!!!! Instead she continued into the house leaving the door ajar to put down her purse and bags. Then she removed her coat AND THEN she turned to shut and lock the door.
WTH???? I was already in her house and she had no clue I was behind her. The look of shock on her face when she finally turned and saw me would have been funny if not for how serious the situation really was. What if I had been someone who wanted to harm her?
If a criminal had wanted her car, they could have had it. If they’d wanted to rape her, they could have done it. Or worse…*smh*
Is my sister a nice person? She has done wonderful things for children from all walks of life, socioeconomic backgrounds, and skin colors. She is one of those unsung heroes. And for donating so much of her life and time to the future, children, I think that makes her a great person. *side-eye* Our relationship, however, is another story. God ain’t through with either of us, yet. Regardless of our relationship I would never wish her any harm. That is the truth.
So this is what I got right now…I got a few more rolling around in my head and will update when I get a chance. My job is kicking my azz right now. *smh exasperated* But I gotta eat, shyt and sleep so to work I go. In the meantime, take heed and take care.
You can also find this guide on my friend Hello Kitty Slut's website: http://hellokittyslut.com/
*tips water bottle at monitor*
Saturday, May 8, 2010
How to be a nice girl/woman and not get murdered
DISCLAIMER: This is purely for informational purposes. I cannot guarantee that after following my advice you still won’t end up being murdered. A psychopath could kill you on a whim just cuz they want to know what it is like to kill someone. *shrug* Hope to see you on the other side so we can discuss what went wrong.
I like to watch tv shows like 48 Hours, Dateline, and Primetime. In case you are oblivious to the existence of the aforementioned programs, these shows report on true life murders/crimes. Mostly murders but 48 Hours recently ran a series of shows where people survived.
Anyhoodles, what I notice about the majority of the victims on these shows is that they are always categorized as nice folk. Especially the women. A lot of them have person after person just talking about what a good, kind, nice person they were.
After awhile I started to see some of my characteristics in some of the victims. One I caught on Dateline was a girl who was an active environmentalist. Her one and only mistake that I could see was in trying to be nice to the wrong guy. He was the roommate of one of her good friends. He was shy, quiet and awkward. She went out of her way, by her friend’s report, to have him join in on their social gatherings. Trying to help him break out of his shell. She never slept with him or even shared a chaste kiss. But becuz she was nice to him he took it to mean that they were in a relationship and that she was his girlfriend. Then she actually started dating a guy. What sent him over the edge was when they either got engaged or were about to move in together. I forget now which one was the catalyst that set him off and made him murder her.
I’m that person who will go out of their way to make shy people feel comfortable and join in. Believe it or not I was a shy child. A concerned teacher and parent later and I had a few friends and I was a normal sociable child. One of my jailbird family members was shy as a boy. A concerned aunty (MOS) and he too became a normal sociable child. *pause* Hmm, maybe the lesson here is to let shy males alone? That requires some thought and…research.
Next victim of note is a bit more personal though I never met her. My friend TPL’s sister. His sister was the youngest and only girl her parents had. From all accounts she was a sweetheart. She was the one who remembered birthdays and anniversaries. She was close to and loved her family dearly and kept in daily contact even though she was out on her own with her live in boyfriend.
TPL’s mom spoke to her daughter for the last time the day before TPL’s birthday. The next day she failed to call TPL with birthday greetings and that is how they knew something was wrong. The motive for her murder is believed to be that she wanted to break up with her live in boyfriend. He maintains his innocence despite witness accounts to the contrary so they have never gotten the real story. You know the murderer is out walking free now? *smh* USA, we have got to do better.
I am the family/friend constantly in contact via phone, email, text, and of course tweet. You can’t get away from me. *chuckle* But it keeps me apprised of what is going on and who needs a bit of cheer or dinner or a couple dollars…I ain’t got the cash but I can listen to you whine about being broke. *shrug*
See the pattern yet?
Lastly, yet most recently, was the girl from Maryland killed by her boyfriend just days shy of their college graduation date becuz she wanted to break up with him. He had begun getting violent.
Again this young 22 year old woman was said to be nice, kind and she did not have a mean bone in her body.
I would like to think that is how people would describe me. I go out of my way to be nice to everyone I meet. I don’t always make it but I do try my best. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t. I am only human and some people go out of their way to make you forget being nice.
These stories above and the many I have watched over the years lead me to believe that our society here in the US of A hates nice people. It has to otherwise a killer would get an instant death penalty to be carried out right after the verdict for murdering nice people. No appeals, just bye bytch bye. Tell it to God cuz we are done with you.
I think people believe that if you are nice that you have never had a hard day in your life. That’s just not true. You’ve never walked in my shoes so you don’t know about my troubles, trials and hardships.
As the saying goes, if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence than you can bet your azz that the water bill is higher, too.
The 22 year old whose boyfriend killed her suffered the loss of her father. Speaking as a person who lost a father at a young age, that shyt can be devastating. Didn’t know her story but I’m just saying.
TPL’s sister grew up in the same area I was born in. East Baltimore projects. To make it out of there and become a productive member of society is a HUGE accomplishment. And to still be a nice person on top of it is AWESOME!
I can’t speak to the hardships of the first girl becuz Dateline didn’t go into her life before said psycho entered it. But after her death her family and friends joined in and continued her environmental conservation work. That’s the kind of person she was. What she wanted to do was so inspiring that she inspired others to continue her work after death and she had lived less than 2 dozen years on this planet. The leader of the pack, her uncle, was a diehard resistant to recycling while she lived.
So it seems that since you people will not stop killing nice people nor put in place the proper punishment for those who do kill nice people someone is going to have to come up with a survival guide for nice people. I figure what the heck I’ll give it a try since I’ve lasted 42 years. Most of the nice girls/women on those programs died in their 20s-30s and didn’t make it this far. If I can get a couple of you all to last a little longer maybe you can continue your good works and make the world a nicer place longer. I’m just saying and trying.
The following are just my top 5. As I come up with more tips I will add to them.
Survival Tips for Nice People:
1. This first lesson is the hardest to know, accept and understand. It is just this, as beautiful and wonderful as this world can be it is just as cold, vile, ugly and mean. Nice is often seen as a weakness. A weakness that will be exploited, trampled upon and destroyed if it can be. Misery loves other miserable company. Don’t let them destroy your nice side just learn how to protect it. You don’t have to wall it away, just be smart about it.
Open yourself up to both the good and bad in people and respond (or don’t) appropriately is the best I can tell you.
2. Know who you are dealing with. Be it your momma, your daddy, sister, mister, doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief, son, daughter, nephew, niece, school teacher, mechanic, or Indian chief. MOST ESPECIALLY YOUR SPOUSE/PARTNER or whatever you call them! Know who you are dealing with!
Get to know the people in your life. A lot of nice people are knocked off by friends and family members. Make sure they know your ups and downs too so that they don’t get jealous of your ups.
Get to know their likes and dislikes. Do you know how to get under their skin and how not to? Most importantly, you need to know how to get them out of your life if they should turn toxic. That goes for everyone including mommy and daddy. Everyone who is fertile is not fit to have children. Watch an episode of The Nanny for further clarification.
Oh and don’t let me forget your offspring and your bestest friend in the whole wide world. I have seen more than one story of kids who killed their parents for the inheritance. You little monkey headed MFs! Your inheritance is that you had wonderful loving parents who didn’t molest or abuse your unworthy azzes! Be honest with yourself, parents, sometimes despite your best efforts, your kid is just born bad and ain’t shyt you can do but save the lives of your other loved ones and cut their azzes loose. 48 Hours did a story about a guy who killed momma, daddy, and his only brother all so he could have the inheritance for himself. He had them murdered right as they all returned home after a celebratory dinner in his honor. *smh*
Lastly, don’t let anyone you had to put out of your life back in your life unless they can demonstrate that they have TRULY changed their ways for the better. Even then keep them at arms’ length. That keeping your enemies close shyt is only for Greek Tragedies and pay special attention to the fact that they are tragedies for a reason.
3. Pay close attention to the men you let in your life. Regardless of your sexual orientation! If you are straight there is always some man that thinks he is the perfect man for you. He might be perfect for you and then again he could be the perfect hell for you that will lead you to an early grave.
If you are homosexual, there is always that man that thinks he could change your sexual orientation.
TRUE STORY: I once worked with a woman, let’s call her Marge, who was in a committed relationship with a woman. When her partner, let’s call her Sue, came out to her family Sue and her sister kind of stopped speaking. So Marge helps Sue reconcile with her sister. Well the sister is married to an absolute jerk. EVERY chance he gets he lets Sue know that she shouldn’t be gay cuz he has plenty of male friends he could hook her up with. WTH? Family functions and vacations this man wears her ear out trying to entice her back to the heterosexual side.
*wise eye*
My question is why is it so important that Sue un-gay herself? Does he have a specific friend in mind? Is the “friend” him? See if I was his wife, Sue’s sister, I would ask him quite indelicately why does he give a rat’s azz who her sister is sexing? But that’s just me. I am nice as peas until you say or do something that wakes up my Project Bytch side. And my husband constantly telling my sister she needs to stop being gay would be one of them. But those two nice women just sat in uncomfortable silence while he went on and on about it until one day Marge finally put him in his place. *eye roll* I’d a done that the first time he opened his mouth but again…that’s just me. Just cuz you are nice does not mean you have to be weak and meek.
4. You are gonna have to stop bouncing around like Pollyanna, Gidget, Sandra Dee, or Snow White. Yeah I know the first three went over the younguns' heads. Google them! Sorry, but they don’t make movies with nice girls/women in them anymore unless they are about to get murdered. *shrug* That’s why it is so amazing that people still turn out to be nice. Maybe it is the natural state of mankind. Of course there are exceptions but for the most part *nods head*…something to think about.
Anyway, stop bouncing around like the world is a wonderful place and there is no evil in it. There is evil in it and you are surrounded by it. Your happiness just draws that evil that much closer to you. Remember elementary school science class: opposites attract. Your niceness will attract all types of people who are far from nice.
Yes, you will also attract other nice people. We are not worried about the other nice people. It’s the psychopaths, sociopaths, etc. and the like people we are worried about. Just be aware, sweetie. That is all I am saying.
When you meet new people please please PLEASE refer back to Rule # 2 on this guide. You have a choice about who you let into your life. Choose wisely.
5. Listen to your instincts in any and all given situations. If YOU feel something isn’t right about a person, place and/or thing then something is not right about that person, place and/or thing. Whatever it is may not be readily visible or discernable but if your fight or flight response turns on, or your spidey sense tingles or your left ear twitches *chuckle* whatever your danger response is, if it kicks on then listen to it.
Take my new friend Hello Kitty Slut for instance. Now, though my stranger danger sense hasn’t kicked in…yet. *chuckle* I am still approaching her crazy azz cautiously. I would love to jump all in feet first as is my happy go lucky way. But my happy go lucky way has led me into some truly dangerous situations. I am not at all sure that I won’t end up at a bukake party with this heffa. I am not saying I am opposed to a bukake party; I just need to know who all these folk are! DJM Everyone has their kinks. As long as it is consensual and everyone is at the age of consent, do you. *shrug*
Those are my top 5 and that’s all I got for now. Hope this proves helpful to some of y’all nice folk who make the world a nice place.
*tips water bottle at the monitor and salutes with a pretzel*
I like to watch tv shows like 48 Hours, Dateline, and Primetime. In case you are oblivious to the existence of the aforementioned programs, these shows report on true life murders/crimes. Mostly murders but 48 Hours recently ran a series of shows where people survived.
Anyhoodles, what I notice about the majority of the victims on these shows is that they are always categorized as nice folk. Especially the women. A lot of them have person after person just talking about what a good, kind, nice person they were.
After awhile I started to see some of my characteristics in some of the victims. One I caught on Dateline was a girl who was an active environmentalist. Her one and only mistake that I could see was in trying to be nice to the wrong guy. He was the roommate of one of her good friends. He was shy, quiet and awkward. She went out of her way, by her friend’s report, to have him join in on their social gatherings. Trying to help him break out of his shell. She never slept with him or even shared a chaste kiss. But becuz she was nice to him he took it to mean that they were in a relationship and that she was his girlfriend. Then she actually started dating a guy. What sent him over the edge was when they either got engaged or were about to move in together. I forget now which one was the catalyst that set him off and made him murder her.
I’m that person who will go out of their way to make shy people feel comfortable and join in. Believe it or not I was a shy child. A concerned teacher and parent later and I had a few friends and I was a normal sociable child. One of my jailbird family members was shy as a boy. A concerned aunty (MOS) and he too became a normal sociable child. *pause* Hmm, maybe the lesson here is to let shy males alone? That requires some thought and…research.
Next victim of note is a bit more personal though I never met her. My friend TPL’s sister. His sister was the youngest and only girl her parents had. From all accounts she was a sweetheart. She was the one who remembered birthdays and anniversaries. She was close to and loved her family dearly and kept in daily contact even though she was out on her own with her live in boyfriend.
TPL’s mom spoke to her daughter for the last time the day before TPL’s birthday. The next day she failed to call TPL with birthday greetings and that is how they knew something was wrong. The motive for her murder is believed to be that she wanted to break up with her live in boyfriend. He maintains his innocence despite witness accounts to the contrary so they have never gotten the real story. You know the murderer is out walking free now? *smh* USA, we have got to do better.
I am the family/friend constantly in contact via phone, email, text, and of course tweet. You can’t get away from me. *chuckle* But it keeps me apprised of what is going on and who needs a bit of cheer or dinner or a couple dollars…I ain’t got the cash but I can listen to you whine about being broke. *shrug*
See the pattern yet?
Lastly, yet most recently, was the girl from Maryland killed by her boyfriend just days shy of their college graduation date becuz she wanted to break up with him. He had begun getting violent.
Again this young 22 year old woman was said to be nice, kind and she did not have a mean bone in her body.
I would like to think that is how people would describe me. I go out of my way to be nice to everyone I meet. I don’t always make it but I do try my best. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t. I am only human and some people go out of their way to make you forget being nice.
These stories above and the many I have watched over the years lead me to believe that our society here in the US of A hates nice people. It has to otherwise a killer would get an instant death penalty to be carried out right after the verdict for murdering nice people. No appeals, just bye bytch bye. Tell it to God cuz we are done with you.
I think people believe that if you are nice that you have never had a hard day in your life. That’s just not true. You’ve never walked in my shoes so you don’t know about my troubles, trials and hardships.
As the saying goes, if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence than you can bet your azz that the water bill is higher, too.
The 22 year old whose boyfriend killed her suffered the loss of her father. Speaking as a person who lost a father at a young age, that shyt can be devastating. Didn’t know her story but I’m just saying.
TPL’s sister grew up in the same area I was born in. East Baltimore projects. To make it out of there and become a productive member of society is a HUGE accomplishment. And to still be a nice person on top of it is AWESOME!
I can’t speak to the hardships of the first girl becuz Dateline didn’t go into her life before said psycho entered it. But after her death her family and friends joined in and continued her environmental conservation work. That’s the kind of person she was. What she wanted to do was so inspiring that she inspired others to continue her work after death and she had lived less than 2 dozen years on this planet. The leader of the pack, her uncle, was a diehard resistant to recycling while she lived.
So it seems that since you people will not stop killing nice people nor put in place the proper punishment for those who do kill nice people someone is going to have to come up with a survival guide for nice people. I figure what the heck I’ll give it a try since I’ve lasted 42 years. Most of the nice girls/women on those programs died in their 20s-30s and didn’t make it this far. If I can get a couple of you all to last a little longer maybe you can continue your good works and make the world a nicer place longer. I’m just saying and trying.
The following are just my top 5. As I come up with more tips I will add to them.
Survival Tips for Nice People:
1. This first lesson is the hardest to know, accept and understand. It is just this, as beautiful and wonderful as this world can be it is just as cold, vile, ugly and mean. Nice is often seen as a weakness. A weakness that will be exploited, trampled upon and destroyed if it can be. Misery loves other miserable company. Don’t let them destroy your nice side just learn how to protect it. You don’t have to wall it away, just be smart about it.
Open yourself up to both the good and bad in people and respond (or don’t) appropriately is the best I can tell you.
2. Know who you are dealing with. Be it your momma, your daddy, sister, mister, doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief, son, daughter, nephew, niece, school teacher, mechanic, or Indian chief. MOST ESPECIALLY YOUR SPOUSE/PARTNER or whatever you call them! Know who you are dealing with!
Get to know the people in your life. A lot of nice people are knocked off by friends and family members. Make sure they know your ups and downs too so that they don’t get jealous of your ups.
Get to know their likes and dislikes. Do you know how to get under their skin and how not to? Most importantly, you need to know how to get them out of your life if they should turn toxic. That goes for everyone including mommy and daddy. Everyone who is fertile is not fit to have children. Watch an episode of The Nanny for further clarification.
Oh and don’t let me forget your offspring and your bestest friend in the whole wide world. I have seen more than one story of kids who killed their parents for the inheritance. You little monkey headed MFs! Your inheritance is that you had wonderful loving parents who didn’t molest or abuse your unworthy azzes! Be honest with yourself, parents, sometimes despite your best efforts, your kid is just born bad and ain’t shyt you can do but save the lives of your other loved ones and cut their azzes loose. 48 Hours did a story about a guy who killed momma, daddy, and his only brother all so he could have the inheritance for himself. He had them murdered right as they all returned home after a celebratory dinner in his honor. *smh*
Lastly, don’t let anyone you had to put out of your life back in your life unless they can demonstrate that they have TRULY changed their ways for the better. Even then keep them at arms’ length. That keeping your enemies close shyt is only for Greek Tragedies and pay special attention to the fact that they are tragedies for a reason.
3. Pay close attention to the men you let in your life. Regardless of your sexual orientation! If you are straight there is always some man that thinks he is the perfect man for you. He might be perfect for you and then again he could be the perfect hell for you that will lead you to an early grave.
If you are homosexual, there is always that man that thinks he could change your sexual orientation.
TRUE STORY: I once worked with a woman, let’s call her Marge, who was in a committed relationship with a woman. When her partner, let’s call her Sue, came out to her family Sue and her sister kind of stopped speaking. So Marge helps Sue reconcile with her sister. Well the sister is married to an absolute jerk. EVERY chance he gets he lets Sue know that she shouldn’t be gay cuz he has plenty of male friends he could hook her up with. WTH? Family functions and vacations this man wears her ear out trying to entice her back to the heterosexual side.
*wise eye*
My question is why is it so important that Sue un-gay herself? Does he have a specific friend in mind? Is the “friend” him? See if I was his wife, Sue’s sister, I would ask him quite indelicately why does he give a rat’s azz who her sister is sexing? But that’s just me. I am nice as peas until you say or do something that wakes up my Project Bytch side. And my husband constantly telling my sister she needs to stop being gay would be one of them. But those two nice women just sat in uncomfortable silence while he went on and on about it until one day Marge finally put him in his place. *eye roll* I’d a done that the first time he opened his mouth but again…that’s just me. Just cuz you are nice does not mean you have to be weak and meek.
4. You are gonna have to stop bouncing around like Pollyanna, Gidget, Sandra Dee, or Snow White. Yeah I know the first three went over the younguns' heads. Google them! Sorry, but they don’t make movies with nice girls/women in them anymore unless they are about to get murdered. *shrug* That’s why it is so amazing that people still turn out to be nice. Maybe it is the natural state of mankind. Of course there are exceptions but for the most part *nods head*…something to think about.
Anyway, stop bouncing around like the world is a wonderful place and there is no evil in it. There is evil in it and you are surrounded by it. Your happiness just draws that evil that much closer to you. Remember elementary school science class: opposites attract. Your niceness will attract all types of people who are far from nice.
Yes, you will also attract other nice people. We are not worried about the other nice people. It’s the psychopaths, sociopaths, etc. and the like people we are worried about. Just be aware, sweetie. That is all I am saying.
When you meet new people please please PLEASE refer back to Rule # 2 on this guide. You have a choice about who you let into your life. Choose wisely.
5. Listen to your instincts in any and all given situations. If YOU feel something isn’t right about a person, place and/or thing then something is not right about that person, place and/or thing. Whatever it is may not be readily visible or discernable but if your fight or flight response turns on, or your spidey sense tingles or your left ear twitches *chuckle* whatever your danger response is, if it kicks on then listen to it.
Take my new friend Hello Kitty Slut for instance. Now, though my stranger danger sense hasn’t kicked in…yet. *chuckle* I am still approaching her crazy azz cautiously. I would love to jump all in feet first as is my happy go lucky way. But my happy go lucky way has led me into some truly dangerous situations. I am not at all sure that I won’t end up at a bukake party with this heffa. I am not saying I am opposed to a bukake party; I just need to know who all these folk are! DJM Everyone has their kinks. As long as it is consensual and everyone is at the age of consent, do you. *shrug*
Those are my top 5 and that’s all I got for now. Hope this proves helpful to some of y’all nice folk who make the world a nice place.
*tips water bottle at the monitor and salutes with a pretzel*
My dinner with the Hello Kitty Slut I know
*Rude Boy by Rihanna plays*
So me and Hello Kitty Slut finally met in the flesh. *smirk* She is as much fun offline as she is online. We didn’t get together last Saturday becuz we hadn’t alerted FEMA she was in the area. *chuckle* A little joke betwixt us two. Truth, she was under the weather. Glad that didn’t keep her down for long.
So we rescheduled for yesterday, Friday. I had a great time. We went to one of my favorite restaurants, Ruth Chris and we didn’t get thrown out. It’s just possible I may still be welcomed back at that location again, too! Win win! *grinning*
I have been teased unmercifully since I ducked out of the last outing becuz of its location. So I would have shown up last night if they had to wheel me in on a gurney with an oxygen tank in tow. TDP kept telling HKS that I wasn’t gonna show. *LOL* And Missreall kept texting me yesterday to see what I was doing now. *LOL* It was hilarious to me and I answered every text and I made it there on time!
HKS stayed at one of the new hotels downtown, Marriot Waterfront, very nice. I hadn’t been in that one before. I think she got thrown out of the other ones (just kidding…I think). She met me in the lobby and we walked over to the restaurant for dinner.
Help me! *LOL truly* I took this heffa to a steak restaurant and she orders CHICKEN! I am going to get her for that one day, I just don’t know how, yet. *smirk* Though the chicken was delish and I recommend it if you are in a majority that wants steak but you are feeling chicken. *shrug* It happens sometimes.
We sat outside and people watched and misbehaved a bit. *chuckle* Just a bit.
*Now playing Circus by Brittany Spears*
All in all we had a great time, I think. We stopped by her hotel bar after dinner for a drink. *shrug* I wasn’t driving so no reason not to. She tried to get me drunk but I keep telling people I can drink vodka all night long and not even get a buzz.
*Now playing Your Love Is My Drug by Kesa*
I once drank a whole fifth of vodka by myself in an hour and I was stone cold sober. I was pissed too cuz the objective was to get drunk. I was in my twenties then and ain’t a thing changed. I don’t know why I seem to be immune to vodka but I am. *shrug*
Anyhoodles, we order our drinks, I had a sip of her drink, it was tasty, I must try it sometime. Then she does what I was expecting at dinner. *chuckle* She is something else. She thoroughly entertained the Caucasian guy sitting next to us. The way he was looking at her and not moving away from us like some people would I am betting he was hoping for an invite to the hotel room party. *chuckling and smh*
She is due back in town later this month. Oh help! Someone put FEMA on alert please. *smiling and smh*
*Now playing Sex On Fire by Kings Of Leon*
*tips highball glass at monitor*
So me and Hello Kitty Slut finally met in the flesh. *smirk* She is as much fun offline as she is online. We didn’t get together last Saturday becuz we hadn’t alerted FEMA she was in the area. *chuckle* A little joke betwixt us two. Truth, she was under the weather. Glad that didn’t keep her down for long.
So we rescheduled for yesterday, Friday. I had a great time. We went to one of my favorite restaurants, Ruth Chris and we didn’t get thrown out. It’s just possible I may still be welcomed back at that location again, too! Win win! *grinning*
I have been teased unmercifully since I ducked out of the last outing becuz of its location. So I would have shown up last night if they had to wheel me in on a gurney with an oxygen tank in tow. TDP kept telling HKS that I wasn’t gonna show. *LOL* And Missreall kept texting me yesterday to see what I was doing now. *LOL* It was hilarious to me and I answered every text and I made it there on time!
HKS stayed at one of the new hotels downtown, Marriot Waterfront, very nice. I hadn’t been in that one before. I think she got thrown out of the other ones (just kidding…I think). She met me in the lobby and we walked over to the restaurant for dinner.
Help me! *LOL truly* I took this heffa to a steak restaurant and she orders CHICKEN! I am going to get her for that one day, I just don’t know how, yet. *smirk* Though the chicken was delish and I recommend it if you are in a majority that wants steak but you are feeling chicken. *shrug* It happens sometimes.
We sat outside and people watched and misbehaved a bit. *chuckle* Just a bit.
*Now playing Circus by Brittany Spears*
All in all we had a great time, I think. We stopped by her hotel bar after dinner for a drink. *shrug* I wasn’t driving so no reason not to. She tried to get me drunk but I keep telling people I can drink vodka all night long and not even get a buzz.
*Now playing Your Love Is My Drug by Kesa*
I once drank a whole fifth of vodka by myself in an hour and I was stone cold sober. I was pissed too cuz the objective was to get drunk. I was in my twenties then and ain’t a thing changed. I don’t know why I seem to be immune to vodka but I am. *shrug*
Anyhoodles, we order our drinks, I had a sip of her drink, it was tasty, I must try it sometime. Then she does what I was expecting at dinner. *chuckle* She is something else. She thoroughly entertained the Caucasian guy sitting next to us. The way he was looking at her and not moving away from us like some people would I am betting he was hoping for an invite to the hotel room party. *chuckling and smh*
She is due back in town later this month. Oh help! Someone put FEMA on alert please. *smiling and smh*
*Now playing Sex On Fire by Kings Of Leon*
*tips highball glass at monitor*
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