Saturday, May 8, 2010

How to be a nice girl/woman and not get murdered

DISCLAIMER: This is purely for informational purposes. I cannot guarantee that after following my advice you still won’t end up being murdered. A psychopath could kill you on a whim just cuz they want to know what it is like to kill someone. *shrug* Hope to see you on the other side so we can discuss what went wrong.

I like to watch tv shows like 48 Hours, Dateline, and Primetime. In case you are oblivious to the existence of the aforementioned programs, these shows report on true life murders/crimes. Mostly murders but 48 Hours recently ran a series of shows where people survived.

Anyhoodles, what I notice about the majority of the victims on these shows is that they are always categorized as nice folk. Especially the women. A lot of them have person after person just talking about what a good, kind, nice person they were.

After awhile I started to see some of my characteristics in some of the victims. One I caught on Dateline was a girl who was an active environmentalist. Her one and only mistake that I could see was in trying to be nice to the wrong guy. He was the roommate of one of her good friends. He was shy, quiet and awkward. She went out of her way, by her friend’s report, to have him join in on their social gatherings. Trying to help him break out of his shell. She never slept with him or even shared a chaste kiss. But becuz she was nice to him he took it to mean that they were in a relationship and that she was his girlfriend. Then she actually started dating a guy. What sent him over the edge was when they either got engaged or were about to move in together. I forget now which one was the catalyst that set him off and made him murder her.

I’m that person who will go out of their way to make shy people feel comfortable and join in. Believe it or not I was a shy child. A concerned teacher and parent later and I had a few friends and I was a normal sociable child. One of my jailbird family members was shy as a boy. A concerned aunty (MOS) and he too became a normal sociable child. *pause* Hmm, maybe the lesson here is to let shy males alone? That requires some thought and…research.

Next victim of note is a bit more personal though I never met her. My friend TPL’s sister. His sister was the youngest and only girl her parents had. From all accounts she was a sweetheart. She was the one who remembered birthdays and anniversaries. She was close to and loved her family dearly and kept in daily contact even though she was out on her own with her live in boyfriend.

TPL’s mom spoke to her daughter for the last time the day before TPL’s birthday. The next day she failed to call TPL with birthday greetings and that is how they knew something was wrong. The motive for her murder is believed to be that she wanted to break up with her live in boyfriend. He maintains his innocence despite witness accounts to the contrary so they have never gotten the real story. You know the murderer is out walking free now? *smh* USA, we have got to do better.

I am the family/friend constantly in contact via phone, email, text, and of course tweet. You can’t get away from me. *chuckle* But it keeps me apprised of what is going on and who needs a bit of cheer or dinner or a couple dollars…I ain’t got the cash but I can listen to you whine about being broke. *shrug*

See the pattern yet?

Lastly, yet most recently, was the girl from Maryland killed by her boyfriend just days shy of their college graduation date becuz she wanted to break up with him. He had begun getting violent.

Again this young 22 year old woman was said to be nice, kind and she did not have a mean bone in her body.

I would like to think that is how people would describe me. I go out of my way to be nice to everyone I meet. I don’t always make it but I do try my best. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t. I am only human and some people go out of their way to make you forget being nice.

These stories above and the many I have watched over the years lead me to believe that our society here in the US of A hates nice people. It has to otherwise a killer would get an instant death penalty to be carried out right after the verdict for murdering nice people.  No appeals, just bye bytch bye.  Tell it to God cuz we are done with you.

I think people believe that if you are nice that you have never had a hard day in your life. That’s just not true. You’ve never walked in my shoes so you don’t know about my troubles, trials and hardships.

As the saying goes, if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence than you can bet your azz that the water bill is higher, too.

The 22 year old whose boyfriend killed her suffered the loss of her father. Speaking as a person who lost a father at a young age, that shyt can be devastating. Didn’t know her story but I’m just saying.

TPL’s sister grew up in the same area I was born in. East Baltimore projects. To make it out of there and become a productive member of society is a HUGE accomplishment. And to still be a nice person on top of it is AWESOME!

I can’t speak to the hardships of the first girl becuz Dateline didn’t go into her life before said psycho entered it. But after her death her family and friends joined in and continued her environmental conservation work. That’s the kind of person she was. What she wanted to do was so inspiring that she inspired others to continue her work after death and she had lived less than 2 dozen years on this planet. The leader of the pack, her uncle, was a diehard resistant to recycling while she lived.

So it seems that since you people will not stop killing nice people nor put in place the proper punishment for those who do kill nice people someone is going to have to come up with a survival guide for nice people. I figure what the heck I’ll give it a try since I’ve lasted 42 years. Most of the nice girls/women on those programs died in their 20s-30s and didn’t make it this far. If I can get a couple of you all to last a little longer maybe you can continue your good works and make the world a nicer place longer. I’m just saying and trying.

The following are just my top 5.  As I come up with more tips I will add to them.

Survival Tips for Nice People:

1. This first lesson is the hardest to know, accept and understand. It is just this, as beautiful and wonderful as this world can be it is just as cold, vile, ugly and mean. Nice is often seen as a weakness. A weakness that will be exploited, trampled upon and destroyed if it can be. Misery loves other miserable company. Don’t let them destroy your nice side just learn how to protect it. You don’t have to wall it away, just be smart about it.

Open yourself up to both the good and bad in people and respond (or don’t) appropriately is the best I can tell you.

2. Know who you are dealing with.  Be it your momma, your daddy, sister, mister, doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief, son, daughter, nephew, niece, school teacher, mechanic, or Indian chief. MOST ESPECIALLY YOUR SPOUSE/PARTNER or whatever you call them! Know who you are dealing with!

Get to know the people in your life. A lot of nice people are knocked off by friends and family members. Make sure they know your ups and downs too so that they don’t get jealous of your ups.

Get to know their likes and dislikes. Do you know how to get under their skin and how not to? Most importantly, you need to know how to get them out of your life if they should turn toxic. That goes for everyone including mommy and daddy. Everyone who is fertile is not fit to have children. Watch an episode of The Nanny for further clarification.

Oh and don’t let me forget your offspring and your bestest friend in the whole wide world. I have seen more than one story of kids who killed their parents for the inheritance. You little monkey headed MFs! Your inheritance is that you had wonderful loving parents who didn’t molest or abuse your unworthy azzes! Be honest with yourself, parents, sometimes despite your best efforts, your kid is just born bad and ain’t shyt you can do but save the lives of your other loved ones and cut their azzes loose. 48 Hours did a story about a guy who killed momma, daddy, and his only brother all so he could have the inheritance for himself. He had them murdered right as they all returned home after a celebratory dinner in his honor. *smh*

Lastly, don’t let anyone you had to put out of your life back in your life unless they can demonstrate that they have TRULY changed their ways for the better. Even then keep them at arms’ length. That keeping your enemies close shyt is only for Greek Tragedies and pay special attention to the fact that they are tragedies for a reason.

3. Pay close attention to the men you let in your life. Regardless of your sexual orientation! If you are straight there is always some man that thinks he is the perfect man for you. He might be perfect for you and then again he could be the perfect hell for you that will lead you to an early grave.

If you are homosexual, there is always that man that thinks he could change your sexual orientation.

TRUE STORY: I once worked with a woman, let’s call her Marge, who was in a committed relationship with a woman. When her partner, let’s call her Sue, came out to her family Sue and her sister kind of stopped speaking. So Marge helps Sue reconcile with her sister. Well the sister is married to an absolute jerk. EVERY chance he gets he lets Sue know that she shouldn’t be gay cuz he has plenty of male friends he could hook her up with. WTH? Family functions and vacations this man wears her ear out trying to entice her back to the heterosexual side.

*wise eye*

My question is why is it so important that Sue un-gay herself? Does he have a specific friend in mind? Is the “friend” him? See if I was his wife, Sue’s sister, I would ask him quite indelicately why does he give a rat’s azz who her sister is sexing? But that’s just me. I am nice as peas until you say or do something that wakes up my Project Bytch side. And my husband constantly telling my sister she needs to stop being gay would be one of them. But those two nice women just sat in uncomfortable silence while he went on and on about it until one day Marge finally put him in his place. *eye roll* I’d a done that the first time he opened his mouth but again…that’s just me. Just cuz you are nice does not mean you have to be weak and meek.

4. You are gonna have to stop bouncing around like Pollyanna, Gidget, Sandra Dee, or Snow White. Yeah I know the first three went over the younguns' heads. Google them! Sorry, but they don’t make movies with nice girls/women in them anymore unless they are about to get murdered. *shrug* That’s why it is so amazing that people still turn out to be nice. Maybe it is the natural state of mankind. Of course there are exceptions but for the most part *nods head*…something to think about.

Anyway, stop bouncing around like the world is a wonderful place and there is no evil in it. There is evil in it and you are surrounded by it. Your happiness just draws that evil that much closer to you. Remember elementary school science class: opposites attract. Your niceness will attract all types of people who are far from nice.

Yes, you will also attract other nice people. We are not worried about the other nice people. It’s the psychopaths, sociopaths, etc. and the like people we are worried about. Just be aware, sweetie. That is all I am saying.

When you meet new people please please PLEASE refer back to Rule # 2 on this guide. You have a choice about who you let into your life. Choose wisely.

5. Listen to your instincts in any and all given situations. If YOU feel something isn’t right about a person, place and/or thing then something is not right about that person, place and/or thing. Whatever it is may not be readily visible or discernable but if your fight or flight response turns on, or your spidey sense tingles or your left ear twitches *chuckle* whatever your danger response is, if it kicks on then listen to it.

Take my new friend Hello Kitty Slut for instance. Now, though my stranger danger sense hasn’t kicked in…yet. *chuckle* I am still approaching her crazy azz cautiously. I would love to jump all in feet first as is my happy go lucky way. But my happy go lucky way has led me into some truly dangerous situations. I am not at all sure that I won’t end up at a bukake party with this heffa. I am not saying I am opposed to a bukake party; I just need to know who all these folk are! DJM Everyone has their kinks. As long as it is consensual and everyone is at the age of consent, do you. *shrug*

Those are my top 5 and that’s all I got for now. Hope this proves helpful to some of y’all nice folk who make the world a nice place.

*tips water bottle at the monitor and salutes with a pretzel*

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