My Best Baltimore Buddy (MB3)

So I went to lunch Sunday 5/16/10 with MB3. I haven’t seen her or been out with her this year. She works for an accounting firm and as such after the first of the year her life is a whole lot of crazy. We keep in contact during these first 4 months of the year by either phone or text. *shrug* That’s life.

She is one of my few remaining friends who are always bemoaning their lives. I long since stopped trying to get them to see the sunshine in their lives. They are always thinking it’s raining on them so I let them. I’ve tried until I was broken and tired myself. I was expending so much energy on trying to get them to be happy that I was neglecting myself. So I stopped. Now I just let them rain on themselves.

I make sure I let them know I got problems too so that they can go on thinking that we are good miserable company together. *shaking my head* You know I’m blessed and don’t fall into that mess but every so often. Everyone, including me, throws a pity party from time to time. But after a few hours my pity party is over and I remember where I’ve been and where I am and I am ashamed and pick myself up, dust myself off and get back to living.

So, I get myself in the mood to listen to her latest troubles. Well, her daughter (24-25 years old) has been laid off. *side eye left, side eye right* Her daughter is young and mouthy. In my early 20s you couldn’t tell me a whole lot of shyt either before I would be quitting my job. <--- Did you read that sentence right? The operative word there is QUITTING. They didn’t fire me. Half the time they didn’t know they had gotten to me until after I quit. When you seem to be in a good mood like I do most of the time people never really know whether they are plucking my nerves until I’m gone.

My work ethic is that I am going to do the best job I can with the tools my employer gives me in the time that I contracted to be on the job. If I find that I cannot tolerate something on the job, I will bring it up to the powers that be. If they tell me, as people have more times than I feel like going into, to suck it up this is the job then it is up to me to take it in stride accordingly…until I find a new job. That is all. I am not going to catch an attitude. I am not going to shirk my duties. I am not going to do a lot of the unprofessional things I have seen people do when their job pisses them off.

I will, however, throw every bit of my free time and energy into finding a new job. In all instances, people realize after I am gone that they should have listened to me and that employees with my work ethic DO NOT GROW ON TREES!

People do not raise their children like my mother and countless other parents of her generation raised me and countless others in my generation. Therefore, these children in adult bodies entering the workforce now are going to take some retraining. *chuckle* Good luck with that.

One of these children in adult bodies is MB3’s daughter. She is an only child and she is what I call spoiled rotten and her mother isn’t done spoiling her. Sad to say but oh so true. Her daughter is lazy and doesn’t want to work.

*shrug* I can relate. I don’t want to work either but I got to eat, sleep, and shyt and I need a home to do it in and I don’t have anyone working for me but me so off to work I go.

MB3’s daughter on the other hand has her mother and she works the hell out of her mother and her mother lets her.

In the beginning, I felt sorry for MB3 until I realized that this was her child, her home, and she seemed to need or want the drama. *shrug* So I stopped offering advice that she wasn’t gonna take and just shut up and listen.

But her daughter is starting to wear her out. *smh* I feel sorry for her daughter when she does. I foresee an early grave for MB3. And this is why.

Supposedly, MB3’s daughter was laid off. Now, MB3’s daughter, let’s call her Bonequisha is living in her grandparents paid for home. She pays MB3 rent to live there with her live in baby daddy, her two daughters and his two sons. Every now and again the baby daddy’s other son comes to visit, too, but his momma has custody of him.

The financials of Bonequisha’s home before she was “laid off” were this. She was bringing home $1500/month and getting WIC for her girls. Baby daddy had a job plus a sideline job plus a check for his two boys (their momma is a drug addict and does not contribute to their welfare at all – gotta love the government) plus food stamps, but he does pay child support for the son who lives with his momma.

Still they were living pretty flush. They weren’t paying nearly what they should have been paying to live in a 3 bedroom home with finished basement and a washer/dryer. They were going out to eat 2-3 times a week. Neither of them has a car so MB3 was driving them around to shop, groceries, outings, etc. Yes, I am totally serious.

True Story: Baby daddy (30 odd years old), let’s call him LaCantrelle, had had a headache for 3 days. They informed MB3 that they needed to go to the ER. She drove them and came back and picked them up.

She is their ambulance, hack, taxi service and school bus driver. She drops the kids off in the morning and uses her lunch hour to pick them up from school every day…all 4 of them. When they were flush they gave her not one thin dime of gas money. I guess they thought the rent that was at least $500 cheaper than what others were paying on the block was enough to cover it. *shrug* Not my problem.

So now that Bonequisha is “laid off” I asked MB3 over lunch had her unemployment kicked in. MB3 started stuttering. That’s when I knew she had been fired and MB3 was about to lie for her daughter yet again. MB3 has been doing it since Bonequisha was a child so I’m use to it by now.

Unemployment denied Bonequisha’s application becuz the employer said they let her go with cause. Maryland is an at will employment state, however, if an employer lets you go without cause then the employer has to pay your unemployment.

I asked did they have proof. MB3 said no. So I asked did she appeal. She said she will. Then she went on to say that they were picking on her daughter blah blah blah. Same shyt I have been hearing for years. Bonequisha is an innocent little lamb and everyone is always picking on her. Whatever.

So now Bonequisha is sitting home on her azz doing nothing from the sounds of it. LaCantrelle is working and carrying it all and he does not like it one bit. Problem is that he really doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

When Bonequisha met him he was living with his parents in their home, with his sister and her children and his children. Bonequisha’s oldest daughter, my brilliant goddaughter, said it was noisy down there and she didn’t like going there. I can just imagine.

I imagine that they have stretched out on the old home front and wouldn’t be enthusiastic about him coming back. His oldest son has abandonment and food issues. Remember his two boys’ momma is a drug addict. I can’t begin to imagine the hell that they have been through in their young lives. The oldest one overeats, is scared to be left anywhere, lies a lot, is disrespectful and mouthy. He caused a lot of problems at his grandparents’ home.

Yeah, I don’t believe LaCantrelle has too many options. He’s a black man working, true, but he’s also a black man with 4 kids. If he left Bonequisha he would be paying child support for 2 kids now and caring for 2 others. *smh* N*ggas really need to learn to keep it in their pants or lobby for birth control for men. *shrug* IJS

I don’t pry so I didn’t ask but I figure that MB3 has reduced their rent. MB3 is now looking for a part time job to help her daughter out. *long pause full of eye rolls and smh* Yup, that’s what MB3 told me. I wished her luck.

Anyway, I think our friendship is at a conclusion and this is why. She has a buddy, let’s call him Leroy, who worked with her. Due to some misunderstanding between him and one of his superiors he was fired from their job. He had been there 10+ years. He always did a good job and MB3 says he only did what another superior told him to do. That superior denied any wrong doing on her part so they fired Leroy.

He didn’t steal or do anything illegal but he did make a huge error. He’s been out of work for awhile now and since he was fired for cause he hasn’t been able to draw unemployment. He has one child and is one of those fathers actually up to date on his child support payments. He doesn’t just spend money on his child but he spends TIME with his child. And he has a crazy baby momma. I’ve met the heffa, she’s good and crazy.

Why do all the good men end up with crazy baby mommas/girlfriends/wives/boyfriends? I thought the opposite of nice was mean but evidently it is crazy cuz that’s what nice people seem to attract. Crazy.

Anyway, we’ve got an opening at my job that I thought might be a good fit for him so I told MB3 to tell him to send me his resume. That was 5/16/10.

As of today, 06/02/10, I still don’t have his resume. Thursday, 5/27/10, I asked MB3 was Leroy interested in the job. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s possible she forgot to mention it. I sent her a text to jog her memory in case she did. With her cell in her hand she could just forward my text to him. Instead, she asked me did we have any admin positions open. *suspicious expression*

NOW, if she is asking for herself, fine. She has a FANTASTIC work ethic and her boss treats her like crap. I’d sing her praises should anyone ever call me for a job reference for her. I met her on a temp job. I can vouch for her excellent work ethic cuz I’ve seen it in practice. The people from her last job still miss her. They’ve lost work becuz they were too stupid to realize what a good employee they had.

Her current boss started taking her for granted years ago. I’ve been lobbying for years for her to find a new job but she never listens to me. She just complains. *shrug*

If she is asking for her daughter, Bonequisha? OH HELLS NO! Go back and read my description of this child again if you don’t understand why I wouldn’t recommend her for a job in a pie factory. The job she just got fired from she got becuz of her cuzin. So no, I will not be sticking my neck out for Bonequisha. *smh* It ain’t gonna happen.

Luckily, there are no admin jobs available at present and I told her so. So she asks me, what are the qualifications? Ok, I wasn’t texting all that. I gave her the link to the job website and told her to tell him to take a look. That was Thursday. I still don’t have his resume.

*side eye* I am going to give it time but if she doesn’t get me his resume then I know she has really fallen off the friendship track. That she truly is no one’s friend but her daughter’s. That would be fine if the child deserved it.

Bonequisha is one of the most selfish, lazy, spoiled people I have ever met. The stories I could tell. But I’ll tell only one.

A few years ago, MB3 was in an accident. Bonequisha would have been 20-21 then. She lived at home with her mother rent free. Do you know MB3 called me at work to ask me could I bring her something to eat becuz there was nothing in the house to eat.

??????????????????????????????????????????

HOW IN THEE HELL DO YOU HAVE A GROWN AZZ DAUGHTER IN YOUR HOUSE RENT FREE AND THIS LITTLE SELFISH AZZ BYTCH CAN’T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE FOR YOU?

Bonequisha was eating. She was working. She made sure she and her daughter ate but she didn’t bring home anything for her own mother who she was leaching off of to eat.

Wouldn’t you know it, my car wasn’t working so I went grocery shopping and had to catch a hack over to her house. I brought her groceries and a prepared sub sandwich, chips and a soda. She ate half before her daughter got home from work. When her daughter saw what her mother was eating she asked for some. MB3 went to offer her the other half and I said NO! I brought it for your mother since you couldn’t bring her anything to eat. MB3 insisted she wasn’t hungry anymore and offered it to her daughter to keep it from going to waste. *smh*

She denied that child nothing as she raised her and this was how she repaid her mother. *smh* I still can’t get over it. Best birth control in the world is watching how this child treats her own mother.

My mother needed us to cook and clean for her for the last few years of her life. We all said together that one mother raised 4 daughters so there was no reason why 4 daughters couldn’t take care of one mother.

Bonequisha couldn’t give a rats azz about her own mother. *smh* I don’t understand how that happens. And still her mother keeps giving and giving and giving.

But she can’t look out for Leroy? Yeah, if I don’t get his resume or an explanation that he wasn’t interested from her then we are through.

That’s not a friend and I don’t need that type of person in my life.

*smh* You know, I knew that I would lose my male friends in my life as we grew older but I never expected to lose my female friends, too. *smh*

*tips water bottle at monitor*