He’s Playing You

I often wonder about whether other women know when a man is playing them. If not, why don’t they know? And if they do why do they let a man continue to play them? Do they just decide it doesn’t matter as long as they got a man? Is having a man or woman (for the men & lesbians) really that important? If so, then why am I not bitten by this I Gotta Have A Boo Bug as so many others seem to be? If it’s not that serious then why all the drama and heartache just to have a man (or woman) in your life?

Now, I don’t pretend to know jack about this subject. I ain’t been alive but 5 hot minutes, as my grandma use to say. So though I don’t have the answers I still would like to know. Perhaps I’ll stumble upon them as I live. I can only hope. I ain’t trying to hold up God, Jesus or one of their crew but so long in the afterlife trying to tie up my loose ends. *chuckle* Then there is always that thought lurking in the back of my mind that if I ask too many questions God might just say, “Girl, sounds like you need to go back.” And poof! I’m being born to start all over. No thank you. One go round on this planet is enough for me. *smh smiling*

I mean in the past I have known when guys were playing me. Now even though I knew, I still let them play me. Why? Just to see how far they would take it. To see if the guy in question really is a selfish, egotistical, narcistic azz. Cuz I tell you that I’ve had a brother that I met the week before call me up on Valentine’s Day telling me he needed $500 or he’s about to be evicted. No happy Valentine’s Day or nothing. Just he needs money or he’s about to be homeless. I told him I was broke…*shrug* and I wasn’t lying either cuz I was. I was making $20,000/year at the time and had my own apartment. Please tell me where I had an extra $500 to loan him.

I didn’t hear from him and I was actually worried when he didn’t return my calls. Then one day a few days afterward he picks up the phone. I ask him what happened and you know that begro (begging negro) had the nerve to get smart with me. He said, “Well obviously I didn’t get evicted.” Long story short the begro had a girlfriend already. More than likely he needed the money to take his girl out and was flat broke so he decided to try and trick me out of my hard earned cash. *smh*

Then there was the begro trying to move in with me after knowing him for 2 weeks becuz….wait for it… *smmfh* he had just bought a vehicle that he could not afford along with rent. He chose the vehicle over 4 walls, a bed, shower, and kitchen, etc. So he was sleeping in his truck. Now this begro had 2 jobs. I knew him from the part time job. I knew where he worked cuz coincidentally we both worked at the same company for our full time job. Different departments though. He actually made more on his full time job than me. *smh with eyeroll* Now I know we all get into financial binds but I am pretty sure he knew he couldn’t afford that truck before he bought it. Then he chose the truck over a home to lay his head. Then he thought he should be able to move in with me? Chile ain’t no one’s sex that good…if it is then I don’t want to meet him.

Last example cuz I ain’t typing all night *chuckle*. My ex the jailbird. *tired sigh* I said I’ve dated them all. I’ve had enough bad boys in my life to be totally cured of them.

He only had to do one year. ONE YEAR. He let them inmates play him and I don’t know how much of his time he actually did. I just know that I was done when he had another year added onto his time to serve.

Then one day he calls me up to say that his lawyer can get him out of this mess so he can come home. He asks me if I can loan his aunt $100 to help with the lawyer fee. He’d give it right back out of one of his hidden stashes as soon as he got home. *side eye with raised perfectly arched brow*

Knew it was a lie. Just knew it. Nobody had to tell me ish. I didn’t have to call around to my girlfriends and ask them jack. I knew without a shadow of a doubt BUT I wanted to see how much of a jackazz he really was.

So, I calmly lied and said “Boo, I’m broke. All I got is my jewelry.” I was living at home at the time bringing home $1200/month and paying my mom $200/month, sometimes. I had no car and no credit cards and no kids. I had a savings account and a checking account. I was flush.

Not to mention, I love all things sparkly and shiny. I would hock shyt for me. I would hock shyt for my kid if I had one. I might even hock shyt for 1 out of my 3 sisters. The rest of y’all can pretty much sucka a dyck and be on your way cuz I ain’t hocking MY JEWELRY for not so much as a one of you. JM IRDC *shrug*

I sat on the collect call that I was paying for and waited for his answer. And he said something to this effect, “Boo, you know as soon as I get home I got you. No doubt, girl. Do that for me.”

I shook my head and said “Ok, boo.” Then we settled into our nightly phone sex session. *smh at us*

I went down to my bank and took the money out of my savings account. I gave the money to his aunt and waited. He called everyday like all was cool. He was coming home. He gave me a date and everything. The day he was to come home he’d call me as soon as he was free and I’d meet him and we’d spend the day together.

Chile please, I didn’t even bother to take the day off cuz I knew that shyt was lies. So I took my azz to work like I had good sense. He was supposed to page me when he got home if he couldn’t reach me on my phone. No pages. No messages when I get home.

Mmmm hmmm.

So like clockwork I get my normal collect phone call when they switch the phones on at the jail. Supposedly there was some type of mix up. Mmm hmmm. His lawyer was gonna be pissed. Mmm Hmmm. All hell was gonna break loose when his lawyer got through with these people. Mmm hmmm.

So he asks, “Boo, you want your money back?” Now what the hell does he think if I had actually been stupid enough to hock my jewelry? I mean…really, boo, you gotta ask? So I answer yes so that I can get my stuff out of hock. He says cool or something like that and says he’ll return it. Then he doesn’t call for awhile which is totally unlike him. That ninja called me 7 days/week except when he was in solitary and twice on Saturday and Sunday.

So I go see his aunt and ask her did he send my money back to her and she says no. Ok…that night I do get a phone call and he is pissed. *Mr. Spock side eye* How dare I go to his aunt blah blah blah blah. I had been looking for an out and he presented me with one all packaged. I blew that shyt up into a relationship ending argument. He called me a bytch, told me to return his shyt cuz we were done and slammed the phone down on me. *grinning* And that’s all I wanted in the first place. It cost me a $100 but I didn’t have anyone stalking me, no drive bys, only a couple bytches yelled through the recording for the collect call and then he moved on to whoever. My azz went to Florida on vacation and relaxed my nerves. I was temping at the time and decided to take the rest of the month off when I got back. *LMAO* Gotta fukking love it.

A few years later I had moved out and just happened to be at my mom’s house and guess whose azz calls me from jail? My sister answered the phone cuz you know I wouldn’t have taken that call. We had a kind of code, if when the call went through he didn’t hear my voice he would say my nephew’s name in the recording. He played like he was nephew for a minute then asked for me. As I walked to the phone I had a feeling it was him. He was a pitiful begro on that call. I just calmly brought up how he disrespected me and how hurt I was blah blah blah blah blah blah. Got his azz off that phone quick fast and in a real hurry. Cuz I had a feeling he was lying when he said he was downtown, a local collect call costing just $0.85 back then.

Now when the bill comes in next month it’s for $5 plus change becuz he had been calling from an out of town correctional facility. *smh* Do you know my sister accepted the call but she expected me to pay for it cuz I talked to him last or longest or something? I gave her azz $6 and told her to keep the change. Cuz it wasn’t worth fussing over.

Funny how one year turned into more and he was still locked up. I didn’t wish him any harm. I put him out of my mind and only think of him when I run across my box of mementos.

See I know that if I let them fuk up then the onus is on them when I walk away. It’s not my fault and they have no one to blame but themselves. I only let them take it so far before I flip the script and leave.

So if I know…what’s up with everyone else?

See, I recently caught my self-satisfied smile on the face of a woman who I feel like is getting played by “her” (I’ll let you be the judge of whether he is truly hers or not) man. She was smiling the same smile back at me cuz she gotta man and I don’t.

You know me…all or nothing. I’m still good with nothing. She don’t get it yet but she will if we spend enough time around each other. Then she’ll be perplexed and the questions will begin. Or the resentment. *shrug* I am so done apologizing for being me when I ain’t hurting a soul.

Anyhoodles, she is married. She believes in that exact same mess that Mo’Nique is talking about. She doesn’t believe in monogamy blah blah blah. Whatever helps you get through your life. I don’t live there and it ain’t my coochay that he’s running up in with different coochays and azzes all on his peen. So do you Mo and all the folk who follow behind you. AIDS is no way to die if you ain’t got to. I will repeat this until I am senile and can’t remember the ish no more.

Back to topic. So her man is free to cheat in their marriage. After a year of marriage he decides he wants to be single. She is walking around here in tears cuz a) all her sick time was used up to have her tubes untied so they can try to have a baby b) she don’t understand why he won’t stay married to her since he can cheat all he wants and has been.

So she has been on this up and down emotional rollercoaster ride with him. One minute he is ready for a divorce. Then the minute she says ok, make sure you can afford health insurance on your job, he changes his mind. Cuz once they are divorced she will have to drop him from her health insurance. Now they are fuk buddies. Yes, they are still married but he still has his place and they are just fukking. In her mind they are in love again.

She came into work the week she explained that to him grinning like an idiot. Then she told me the night before she had had the best sex of her life with him. Hmmm, you two have been together for two years and married for just over 1 year but you JUST HAD THE BEST SEX OF YOUR LIFE????

Yeah.

Right.

All I can think is that health coverage must really be expensive on his job that he put his back into it that deep. Or he learned it from one of his other chicks. *shrug* Or man.

So for a couple weeks she was walking around with this satisfied little smile on her face I guess cuz she hung in there and he’s still there kinda sorta.

Whatever chile, I still think he is playing you.

Now this week she is walking around all upset. She finally went to see a therapist. I advised her to do that a couple months ago. I’m just happy she finally did it. Guess who is against it? Yup, her husband.

As he should be. If she has a moment of clarity she might just realize, he’s playing her.

Cuz I got to wonder…your spouse allows you to cheat within the marriage so why do you want to go your own way? Perhaps you are dabbling in homosexual activities? Perhaps? That’s just my opinion. I think he was all set to go until he realized that he was about to lose a meal ticket. Perhaps now that he’s out there he isn’t quite sure this is the life he wants to lead. Whatever. I can’t read minds but I know something has changed and he isn’t quite ready to let her go. But he’s still dating. He’s an honest hoe. *chuckle* That’s the stipulation of their marriage that he has to be open about who he’s dating. *confused head shake* What is the point in being married?

She is all on his face book page and going through his emails checking the chicks. He seems to be into white girls now according to her. I’m looking at her like why are you going through all this. She’s a wreck. She has a daughter at home that she’s ignoring cuz she wants to go home and go to bed 5 days a week at 7pm and doesn’t want to get out of bed on the weekends at all. *smh* And on his face book page he is happy go lucky. I guess so…he’s got all the benefits of being married to you without actually being your husband. He use to come by and give her half azzed unsatisfying fuks. Then she brings up starting to date herself and starts wearing makeup and dressing better. Then he comes by and fuks her correctly. *chuckle* That meant they were back in love to her. Then she realizes he’s dating white girls now then her mood plummets.

But he’s still coming back to fuk her correctly though cuz he don’t want her to get away. *smh* Girlfriend has gotten her credit together to buy a house. She has got her certificate and getting all her paperwork together to move forward.

I can only guess his motivations cuz I’ve never met the man but yeah, he’s playing her. He should be careful cuz my God does not like ugly. The things he is doing is causing suffering for a child. Her daughter is caught up in the midst of her mother’s emotional rollercoaster and he’s the reason for the mood swings.

All that aside, why doesn’t she know he’s playing her? Does she know? Does she really just not care as long as she can have him part time?

I got no answers. Just plenty of questions. I got friends in similar situations and I don’t understand them anymore than her situation. *sigh*

*scratching head in confusion*