So we were having a little discussion in my women’s group on fb. I love my women’s group. I’m gonna miss them when fb finally puts the coup de grâce on folks and makes people leave en masse.
Anyway, I’m gonna use initials because anything else will just confuse me when I’m a senior citizen trying to read through my younger ramblings. Every now and again I run across an old journal and spend a few hours chuckling at myself and what was oh so devastating back then. So I know this blog should give me days of entertainment someday.
So the couple that I gave until spring before they broke up and they made it to February was the topic. TG is the girl and ES is the guy. It has now been revealed that he had been seeing another woman seriously since at least January. *pursed lip eye roll*
So TC one of our resident brilliant – and published – writers said that she had not been exposed to people who find a new relationship before ending the current one.
I responded quick as you please that I needed to move to where she is because I’ve seen it so much in the Delaware, Maryland, Virginia area for YEARS that I thought it was the norm. She didn’t respond to me. I think she thought I was being smart mouthed but I wasn’t.
It is Sunday chore day and it got me to thinking about all the people who have done this, gone through the drama that A.L.W.A.Y.S. accompanies breaking up with one person after you’ve hooked another person and then lived to repeat the pattern and of course drama.
Now, I’ve never done it because I’ve seen the aftermath. Think arrest, cavity searches and court cases. Seriously. It ain’t for me.
But whenever I’m approached by a guy and they ask my relationship situation, I respond single. The next question is almost invariably: Do you have a friend with benefits. No. I do not. That’s when I get people telling me I’m lying. Once I convince them I’m not lying then they look at me like I got 3 heads.
*head scratch* Somewhere in the last 20 years people have decided that they can’t live without sex with another person or they will die. I’m here to tell you today that you can survive an extended period of time without having sex with another human being. Seriously. You will not melt, die, go insane, become a homicidal maniac, commit suicide, rape animals, spontaneously combust, etc.
If anything, abstinence – once you get over the hornies and they are a devil – calms you. You think before you leap. Rational thought seems to be severely lacking nowadays. Maybe all the sex people are getting and constantly seeking is the reason.
Something to think about.
See, I was a tomboy by happenstance. My mother was very protective of her girl-child as a parent should be. A parent should be very protective of every child. Not to stop them from running, jumping, playing and such. No. She never stopped me from doing that unless it was in the house. *chuckle* But she protected me from the monsters out there. The monsters in smiling adult faces who seek to destroy childhood innocence. I blogged a bit about them in my men are nasty post. I’ve since learned from men that men and women can be just as nasty to little boys. It is a dangerous world out there folks. Get off the cell phone and keep an eye on your children. You can talk to them until you and they are blue in the face and they won’t understand until it is too late. Think about when you taught them the stove is hot and not to be played with. It wasn’t until they touched it and it hurt that they understood. Same thing with stranger danger.
So anyway, we lived on Park Heights Avenue when I was between 18 months and 10 years old. My mother did not allow me to cross the street. Unfortunately, that’s where the little girls my age lived. Across the street.
I wasn’t allowed to go but 3 houses away. The only kids in that radius my age were boys. So I became a tomboy outside and a girl in the house. I was all dolls and such when I was playing in the house. I was playing football, not touch or tag football but FOOTBALL, outside with the boys. And these boys did not care that I was a girl. I got sacked just like the guys and I wasn’t allowed to cry about it otherwise they just wouldn’t play with me anymore that day.
No bullying or teasing, just you go sit down since you are hurt.
SN: how did my generation raise such mean spirited and evil kids that they would goad other children into committing school shootings, suicide and such? I think it is when people decided they didn’t need God in their lives that it happened. When you don’t believe in consequences, Heaven, Hell or that God is watching and keeping score then you are free to do whatever pops into your head to do. My blog. My opinion.
So my point is that with all the time I spent in my formative years with guys it has always been easy for me to socialize with them. Most of my friends’ men love me and I’m one of the few friends of their women they are always glad to see. If your man doesn’t like me it is because he is not a good guy and he knows that I know it. He also knows I know how to get rid of him. It is such an odd thing, I can look a guy in the eye and know immediately. We both know immediately that we ain’t gonna like each other. It is always such an odd feeling, too.
Thanks AC., B., B., and B. My years with y’all scrounging in the mud, climbing trees – yes there are trees in the city worth climbing – walking rooftops, jumping off garages, etc somehow helped me be a better judge of male character.
When I got to college all I dressed in was jeans, tees, and a ponytail. Only time I was in a dress was for different Greek organization balls or when I ran out of laundry money. Then I pulled out all the stops to remind the guys I was all girl. *chuckling remembering the results*
But I melded right in with a group of guys and those guys tried me, too. I was attracted to a few in the group I hung out with. Until I spent some time with them getting to know them. The mask they show to girls gone and the real guy exposed. Yeah. I liked hanging with them but I wouldn’t have wanted not a one of them as my boyfriend. A few were dating friends of mine and as long as they treated them right then I didn’t bust on them.
After a few of them tried to turn me into a friend with benefits and failed they assumed I was gay. *smirk* I busted some egos when they found out I wasn’t. *uncaring shrug*
But I sat there and listened to how they ran game. How they slipped and slid around the rules they have in place for their women but didn’t necessarily follow themselves.
Like I said, men are nasty. At the core of quite a few of them back in the day was crud. Those crudballs have raised a whole new generation of crudball men and they are winning. Most women don’t know their guy is a crudball until it is too late.
Like the little gremlin that is at the root of TG’s heartbreak. Back in the day there was a guy on campus who he reminds me of in the looks department and he got zero women. Now women are fighting over these little gremlins? *snort, gag, choke, guffaw*
I got to respect his skills even if I don’t respect his game play. He will get his and I wouldn’t want to be standing next to him when he does. That kind of stuff has the tendency to spill over onto whoever is with him.
Straight up, if your life ain’t going right and you KNOW you ain’t done anything that would make God mad, karma get in your butt, or what goes around come around to see you, then take a look at who you are hanging with and what they are doing. More than likely they’re comeuppance is spilling over onto you. Leave them alone immediately.
That ain’t 100% true all the time but it is always worth a check.
His game: it was revealed by TG that last year he was cheating on his girl with her. The previous girl tried to warn her. That leads me to believe that he did that with his previous girlfriend and that this is how he operates. He sells women on love – no no # 1 in the player’s handbook – and then takes advantage of them until he finds his next mark. There is a new one every year. Last year was TG’s year. This year it is some new chick.
This little gremlin mofo got TG to move from the top of the USA – I forget which state – to Georgia to be with him so that they could marry and start a life together after he graduated last year. She just needed to foot the bills until he did.
This little gremilin mofo ain’t graduated yet and has moved onto a new girl.
Now, what leads me to believe we all might end up Dateline’s one black crime story of the year is the following:
TG refuses to let this ish go and accept that how she got him is how she lost him. She keeps emailing his frat brother who assures her he is giving ES a hard way to go. *eye roll* Meanwhile, ES has unfriended everyone BUT her dog. So she is spying on his FB page through the dog’s page. *slow blink*
First off, your dog shouldn’t have a fb page unless it is a show dog or performer or you breed dogs. Period. Anything else and you need to go outside and make some real life friends.
Second, her friends aren’t being friends. First they told her that ES would not cheat on her when he wanted to go sleep over at another girl’s house. Still snickering about that mind you. Then they aren’t being real with her. They keep saying she just needs love and to vent. No. She needs to accept that this is her comeuppance for how she got him last year. Accept that he is pond scum. Accept that he is not going to put back on his nice guy façade and come back to her. And accept that his frat brother is reading her emails and laughing at her more than likely with ES.
I find it real convenient that ES has unfriended everyone but the dog. Come on now, she and the dog have the same last name and the dog’s pic is in his avi. Then all his fb posts are about how wonderful his life is. She believes he is lying because of the lies that his frat brother is telling her.
Let me tell you what I believe is going on. The frat brother is trying to keep things smooth between the frat and their sister organization. TG is pledging the sister organization and I think that is a HUGE mistake right now. This is something she needs to put off at least a year until she has some distance between the break up and its aftermath. She is 33 years old. If she didn’t do it in undergrad and ain’t done it in all the years since, waiting a year won’t hurt her any. Why the same chapter he and his new boo are in? Yeah. This is a bad idea all the way around and true friends would have told her so and convinced her otherwise.
And despite what she thinks, unless the frat brother is gay, he wants to screw her.
Every email he gets is another joke between the brothers.
Frat brother: Man! ES! You must have put it DOWN on this chick! *laugh laugh laugh* She is still emailing me tripping!
ES: What can I say, frat? What can I say? Thanks for handling her for me. Last thing we need is the hens in the sister organization to be all riled up. I owe you.
Frat brother: You mind if I tap that when I get a chance?
ES: Naw man! Do you but you see how crazy she is. *laugh laugh laugh*
Frat brother: Crazy puzzi is the best man! *laugh laugh laugh*
ES: Well let me hip you to something dude…
The rest of that convo of what ES would share is confidential and was shared in the group and I don’t feel right sharing it here even though I ain’t naming names. Just know ES is telling all her sordid little secrets.
She’s stalking him through the dog’s fb page, emailing the frat every other day, pledging the same chapter as him and his new boo, refuses to hear anyone saying anything disparaging against him, and she still believes he is a good guy, he’s just confused.
Yeah. Right. Uh huh.
I believe she is two steps away from killing her own dog, hanging the dog on his momma’s front door, and writing in the dog’s blood: You forgot to unfriend me, ES!!!!
It has been three weeks and she has not begun to move on. People are trying to sugar coat this for her when she needs someone to wake her up. Now! Before I need a lawyer to tell the press: Ms Flake has no comment at the moment. Her heart goes out to the families involved.
I’m sure the guys on OHN think it is amusing, too. ES and TG met there. I’m sure just like the OHNawlettes know what is going on, so do the OHNellows. There was even a post regarding guys playing girls and how the poster didn’t think the guys should be taken to task for something we women allow to happen to us. That is BS but that is a post for another day.
TG said the post made her feel some kind a way about it because she is in that situation now. Yeah. Not cute fellas. If this mess gets messier and ends up a court case they will not find it funny when the FBI is crawling through OHN’s archives, pulling up fb chats and convos, skype transcripts, etc.
Makes me glad she doesn’t like me. We don’t’ have more than a handful of convos and we are usually on opposing sides. Ms. Flake ain’t got anything to comment on. Thank you, Lord!
Add to the fact that most of the folk who met on OHN are engaged or have gotten married and she ended up with one of the duds. Now tell me she doesn’t have a lot on her plate to make her not just a little crazy but a lot crazy.
Yeah, one of her friends needs to have a confidential offline chat with her. They need to catch a plane, get in a car, reach her by caravan or something before this turns into a Fatal Attraction. They may not think it is that serious but then I bet Amy Fisher’s family didn’t think it was serious either. How about the female astronaut driving in a diaper to kill the wife of the guy she wanted? Women can be just as crazy as men. It doesn’t take much to push someone over the edge. We have not walked with TG her whole life. We don’t know what other things are swirling around in her head. We don’t know if or how many times she’s been here before.
What I do know is that at the 3 week mark she should not still be emailing his frat brother, she should not be pledging the same chapter as her fresh ex and his new boo, and she should definitely not be stalking him through the dog’s fb page.
Did I mention she was one of the women who came out after me when I spoke to her avatar boyfriend one too many times on OHN? Yeah. One of her friends better get her and soon.
*goes to practice saying “No comment” in the mirror*
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