I think the question should be: What’s wrong with black men?

So, I’ve spent some time ruminating on the subject of why everyone wants to debate what is wrong with black women. There was an article published not too long ago that said our latest problem is that we think too highly of ourselves now. *blink blink* How is that possible? First, we had low self-esteem issues. Then nobody wanted to date/marry us. Then we are just riddled with all these bad statistics on health and wellness. Our wealth factors are not discussed. *smirk*
Soooooooooooooo…how is it possible that we think too highly of ourselves?

*snort chuckle smh*

The critics need to come together and come to a consensus and stick to it cuz they’re losing their core audiences with the way they keep flip flopping on the issue.

I was on Baller Alert and there was a really good conversation going on between the few men smart enough to carry on the conversation and brave enough to give their honest opinions.

Basically it sounds like the average black man wants a woman to:

Cook and clean like Martha Stewart:

Earn like Claire Huxtable:

Sex like whoever is hot in the porn industry now. I wouldn’t know because I like Hentai. Judge me all you want. I really don’t care.

All while looking like this:

Meanwhile, they don’t even meet us halfway. I swear if I had a nickel for every man who stepped to me looking like a just cleaned up version of Ned the Wino from Good Times while I’m dressed and carrying it like Mrs. Heathcliff Huxtable I would probably have a good $50,000 in the bank.

*looks at pick* Heck, they don’t even look that good half the time. Then they have the nerve to get mad after I respectfully decline them. Like I am in the wrong.

And I don’t know who started that missing your blessing phrase but it needs to be retired becuz these fools actually think they are a blessing to somebody other than their lonely mothers who spoiled them so rotten that no woman can put up with their ignorant, simple minded, immature azzes and they end up living with her until she dies. Guess what mom? Once you die then your spoiled azz baby boy will be all alone because no one wants him.

*shrug*

I’m trying to figure out why I am supposed to be happy to go sit on the steps of your momma’s house or worse where you are renting a room in my outfit that from head to toe cost around $300 (told you I’m a basic chick). Like, seriously? Dude, do better.

No, that is not all black men or all black men in Baltimore. Just the ones that get indignant at the rejection. Red Lobster is considered the height of fine dining for them. And they only make it over there if it is income tax time (if child support isn’t hunting for their refund) or they found a chick who doesn’t mind treating them. I mind. A man is supposed to be the protector and provider. Get on your job.

If I said the words Niche Bai Kai, Kobe’s, or Fogo de Chao they wouldn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Heck, Ruth Chris would probably sail over their heads, too. If I said I was in the mood for Greek or Indian food they’d tell me to stop by the colonel’s and pick up a four piece meal for them on the way back. They’d accuse me of acting white. I have already been told on multiple occasions that I sound and act like a white woman.

*side eye* No, momma’s boy, I am not acting like a white woman. I am a woman who has come a long way from the high rise projects where I was born. I am a woman who has tasted a few of the finer things in life and like and appreciate them. I am a woman who wants to continue to do better. I want to see how far I can get from that little project baby girl I was before I die. I am not competing against a single person on this planet. Not even myself. I just want to see how much I can grow as a person.

Now how are you supposed to keep me or how am I supposed to keep me in the style that I am accustomed to if you can’t meet me? Because if you can’t meet me then I’m gonna have to help you meet me, right? Which takes away from my already meager earnings. And if you can’t afford to keep me then how in the world are you going to keep this:

So I think I understand now what the average black man is complaining about. They are going to have to do some soul searching and conventions and bus trips to work it out amongst themselves. Becuz I really don’t see a way around this other than they are going to have to work harder and be better in order to get better.

I mean, come on now. I’m a basic woman and once I am dressed for work, forget socializing, just for work my clothing costs are beyond the average black man.

Hair: Natural so you get a break there.

Panties: $6

Bra: $40 – big boobs need good support.

Slip: $30

Hose: $6

Dress: $70

Tennis shoes for walking to and from work: $60

Shoes that I wear at work: $80

Purse: $50 that’s just my every day purse.

Earrings: $20 for the gold studs in second hole; $300 for earrings in first hole

Necklace: $300 – probably underestimating as the price of gold has gone up since I bought the necklace and pendant that I wear regularly to work.

Dang! I underestimated big time. The total for the above ensemble is: $962. Add coat, scarf and gloves in the winter and the price goes up another $400. In all honesty, that’s how I carry it when I am going to work. We are not even going to get into when I socialize.

So again, why is the above the curve black woman supposed to want to be with a man who can’t even reach basic me?

I mean let’s be honest here. Who wants to struggle financially? It causes worry lines and stress. Stress ages you prematurely, causes health problems, disrupts sleep, and forget about sex.

If you are one of the truly pretty/beautiful people aesthetically speaking and you can find someone to work like a fool for you then why should you be poor, broke, busted and disgusted?

To tell the truth the only men I seem to hear complaining about it are black men who came from poverty and suddenly became rich. You know the athletes, rappers, musicians, actors and such. And of course the average every day black man. Gosh! Poor black men really are behind the curve of every other man on the planet, huh? I mean even Caucasian men who come up disadvantaged financially still know the status quo once they become rich and you don’t hear not nan complaint from them. Meanwhile, as soon as a poor black man gets a win fall then black women are golddiggers. However, ‘exotic’ women are worth paying the price. *rolling my eyes and smh*

If you want beautiful, intelligent, witty, sexy women, regardless of skin color, then you have to pay the price. To quote the often quoted phrase on BA: A pretty girl/woman should never have a wet butt and an empty purse. *smh* They just don’t go together.

I know youth and beauty fade but you know what? They fade a lot slower when they are well taken care of. All that black don’t crack stuff is just that, stuff! When we don’t take care of ourselves it shows. It shows in the dark circles under our eyes. It shows in the bitterness of our spirit. It shows in our slow dragging steps as we plod through life. It shows in the dullness of our eyes.

No, thank you. You can have poverty and neglect. It is bad for your mind, body, heart, and soul.

I love my black men but I swear they are some of the most arrogant men on the face of the Earth and don’t have shyt to show for all that arrogance. They could stand to learn some humility. They’d be happier. We’d be happier.

There’s nothing wrong with black women except we can’t stop loving our black men, even the ones who ain’t about nothing, and they don’t even know how to love themselves.

I mean take black men on the downlow. Please miss me with that nonsense about not being allowed to be gay or bi-sexual. You can’t stop a black man from doing anything he sets his mind to do. Period. I believe men on the downlow hate themselves. If they hate themselves then they can’t possibly protect themselves from HIV/AIDS. And if they hate themselves then they can’t possibly love the women who love them. Every time one of them has unprotected sex with another man and then goes right home to that woman who loves them (wife and mother of his children or girlfriend) and has unprotected sex with her, he shows just how much he loathes himself and her.

Yeah, the more I think on it the more I believe the problem with black women is black men. The problem with black men? I think they are just sick and tired in their spirit. It is hard to be a black man or woman in this world. Don’t pity us. Don’t you dare! Pity never helped anyone. It hurts more than it ever helps.

We have more strength, ingenuity, mental acuity, love, protection, passion, and just LIFE in us than any other man or woman on the face of this planet. From the black man’s loins sprang forth the seeds that planted life in our wombs that birthed nations. Every nation on this planet came from us. Every nation on this planet has taken from us and spat on us. The black man shouldered the brunt of that. We tried to stand firm together but so much has worked against us. Not the least of which is our own, male and female, arrogance. We were kings, queens, princes and princesses, pharaohs and chiefs, warriors and warrioresses. We have been everything that all the nations are now and more. I know it without being told. It is in my blood.

Still, we got tired. You can only fight the good fight for so long before you get tired of getting hit. It has been a long road. I believe with all my heart that we will find our way back onto the right path again. We have to. If we don’t then the rest of the world is doomed.

Yes. I believe that, too. I believe ONE of the multitude of problems with this world is that we haven’t taken our place in it yet because we are not what we once were.

I can truly say that I only still stand because of my belief in God. But I think it is going to take a lot more than church to get us back on the right path. I don’t know how to get back on the right path. I just know it has got to start with humility. Maybe our arrogance is what got us on the wrong path to begin with.

Something to think about.

*tips coffee mug at the monitor*