Monday, July 9, 2012

It is y'all not me.


I have come to the conclusion that young single people are crazy. No. I am not joking. I don’t know where these people came from or perhaps it was me that was dropped on this planet from another place. But these people are seriously crazy.

I was tooling around on fb and saw one of my ebuddies talking again about how much she misses her ex mini boo. So called because of his stature. He has friend zoned her. She’s been saying this stuff a while now so it just hit me that she is serious and that she is in no way, shape or form even beginning to get over him. That she is just waiting around in the friend zone waiting for him to change his mind.

*blink blink*

So I made a comment to the post that at first glance didn’t seem harsh. Then someone else commented back and I saw that perhaps my comment was a bit harsh.  It is just that I have run out of sympathy for anyone, man or woman, in her situation. I’ve just seen it too many times. I’ve given the same unfollowed advice too many times. And I’ve felt the same sympathy too many times.

People have hit me up to support them in these situations too many times and my relationship sympathy well is low. I believe it is drought season. I am sincerely all out of f@#ks to give.  Let me tell you what is going on…

I was on BA and one of the BA fam was going through it because she thinks she played herself by having sex with a dude she’s been communicating with but not dating on her first visit. She thinks she played herself because she texted him and he didn’t immediately return her texts. It had been a day. *blink blink*

Another woman texted her man and he didn’t return her text. It had been 32 minutes. I spend that much time on the toilet some mornings because I am just having a hard time waking up. *shrug* And the cell phone doesn’t come with me when I’m in the bathroom so go figure.  Then she comes back a few hours later after their long convo and everything is just fine now. C.R.A.Z.Y.

Then another BA newbie wants advice about some dude who says he don’t want to date he just wants to chill.  And though all the women chimed in what I was thinking, he just wants to screw her and be done with it, it still was just *thought pause for the right word* ugly to see how far down black men’s opinion’s of black women had fallen. One of the BA men responded that yeah he just wants to f@#k and that in that guy’s shoes he thinks like thus: tell the girl you just want to chill which equals screwing. If she says she ain’t down for it then cool but he’s still gonna try to get her in the bed. If he does then she is done and not worthy of a relationship with him.

I have no idea if other black men on the internet feel this way.  The few predominantly black male sites I have lurked on were full of so much hate for black women it was almost a palpable thing that could reach through the computer monitor to attack you.  So I haven’t lurked on those sites in years.  And in a way I guess it does attack your psyche to know that so many black men with internet access could be so hateful to their own women.

Then there is the thing with my BFL and her husband. Then CCW1's husband left again which has her walking around looking all sad in the face.

My relationship sympathy well is just low.  I can only care about sincere emergencies.  And besides my BFL, the rest are not emergencies. They are ridiculous.

And it isn’t just black folk but I believe the whole generation of younger folk and a few in my own generation caught up in this silly game.  Everyone wants perfection. A perfect mate. A perfect relationship. Minimal work. And a perfect life.

Sticking with the black situation, black men believe that because there are so many more black women than men that that means that they can wait for the perfect mate.  They have options.  What most of them fail to realize is that if the only thing they do is screw black women over that eventually there won’t be any good black women left to date/marry. True there are other women they can date/marry but if they haven’t spent just as much time building a life as they do playing The Game then most of them won’t be wanted beyond a screw and if they can’t do that well then they won’t be wanted period.  And after a certain age they’ll need a pill to even get it up.

Like CCW1’s husband for example. Yeah, he’s finding other women to screw but evidently he isn’t as good at it as CCW1 thinks because so far no one will take him off her hands for long before they either put him out or break up with him period. They ain’t trying to let him move in.  The married chick he was messing with was having a ball playing mind games on CCW1’s fb wall until CCW1 told her that she would tell her husband.  Married chick shut the hell up and that was the end of her.  CCW1’s husband was good to f@#k around with but she wasn’t messing up her marriage over him.

And there have been other affairs but none of those women want him for good. *smh* But his dumb azz stays out there trying to find someone other than CCW1.  And her dumb azz takes him back every time another chick leaves him homeless.

I have a coworker who is an advocate for adoption as she AND HER HUSBAND adopted two children. Right now black males, even infants, are the hardest children to find homes for. I went to one of her talks on adoption. She invited in an agency that had black children waiting and needing to be placed so badly they were going around holding seminars like Amway.  Do you know how sad that is? No one wants black kids. Not even us.

She tried to talk me into adopting an INFANT a couple years ago.  I just barely kept my professional demeanor in place.  If I had wanted to be a single parent I wouldn’t have waited until my 40s to have one, first of all. Second, babies are adorable until they start to deprive you of sleep. I love sleep. I ain’t giving it up for any little poop factory no matter how cute they are.  I may regret that one day but today ain’t that day.

So black men ain’t as in demand as they think they are. They keep f@#king over perfectly good women and then wonder why they can’t find a decent mate. Instead of treating all women they meet with love and respect. If she ain’t the one for him then let her know and move the hell on.  These games always bite everyone in the azz in the end.  Especially black men.

I hear women complaining about hating to date but wanting a boyfriend/man/husband. *blink blink* I really don’t even know where to start with that whole sentiment. Seriously. I have no clue what that means nor do I even begin to understand that concept.

Not to mention that a lot of the younger women want perfection too: tall, handsome, rich, with well endowed, good in bed, childless, and generous. *blink blink* Even Prince Charming didn’t have all that. He was rich, cute and childless. We ain’t heard not nan thing about whether he was generous or well endowed or good in bed.

Everyone seems to want so much with so little effort. *slowly shaking my head*

You know, if I had the chance to be a young woman again right now I wouldn’t take it.  These young folk got too many damn issues and I have run out of f@#ks to give.  I am just as content to sit on the sidelines and watch. I ain’t even entertained anymore. It is just ridiculous at this point.

*walks away apathetically*

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