My Women's Group On Facebook

I know!  Back so soon?  *chuckles*  Well something popped up in my women’s group on Facebook that I wanted to spit out so I can get it out of my head.

So I’ve blogged about HKS and her relationship with TDP.  After which TDP and I stay far away from each other.  Amazing how small the internet can be sometimes.  You’d think that would be easy but with so many friends in common sometimes we do come face to face at which time I ease right on out the way.  Knowing him adds nothing positive to any person’s life.  I’m much happier this way.

About a year ago, I guess, he and some buddies started a new group on Facebook.  One of the ladies from our group added me without me knowing who all the participants were.  Some of the people in the group are cool.  However, when I saw his name pop up I immediately turned off notifications for the group and never entered it again.  I knew from that moment that that group was going to be about female bashing.  And that’s what it has finally become.

It started off great.  The women in my group kept coming starting posts in our group about how much fun they were having and how funny this one or that one was.  I just kept thinking to myself, Wait for it.  It is coming.  TDP was and is an asshole.  He can’t keep it hidden but for so long.

Well over the last six months all they do now is complain about the group and try to talk themselves into staying apart of it. *smh*  Only women who stay in that group are women with self-esteem issues.  

One of the group actually broke from it.  I’m hoping she sees the correlation between how her outlook improved once she left the group.  TDP added her back in whether she wanted to be there or not.  Then her outlook took a turn down again.  Now she’s left the group again.  I hope she connects the dots.

One of the other women in the group left and for a very good reason, one of the guys in the group took a picture of her and photoshopped it without her permission.  Then he apologized to her in pm while still deriding her and stirring the pot for others to do the same publicly.  I’d have screenshot that apology.  Posted it in the group so they could see him for the ass-shat he is and bounced.  She just bounced.  TDP told her to suck it up and added her back to the group.  Where they jumped in on deriding her some more.

They had a post in the group shaming fat women.  Did I mention TDP is fat?  At least the last time I saw him he was.  Yeah.  Then there was the post about women who don’t swallow semen needing to kill themselves.  All nasty negative posts against women.  No one with a healthy self-esteem, man or woman, would stay in such a poisonous place.

One of the women who is in the group but doesn’t stop by much even dropped them with a little knowledge that they are ignoring or maybe they love it.  Anyway she said there is always a lot of drama around TDP.

So all that was my segue into what’s going on now.

So TDP has a girlfriend and all the women in my group who are also in his group love her.  They THINK she’s great.  *smh side eyeing*  There is talk of including her into our group.  *rolls eyes to my bangs*  They ain’t learned from TG, A, or V.  I blogged about TG here.  A and V, I didn’t bother to blog about.  It wasn’t worth the energy.  But they all thought all three were great adds and each showed their true asses in the end.

Now A and V I really didn’t have any feeling on one way or the other.  But TG I knew wasn’t going to work and she is the one who single handedly brought down our first group.  When they mentioned adding TDP’s girlfriend to our group, I got the exact same feeling I got when they were talking about adding TG.  This ain’t going to end well for them.

For me and others it is no big deal.  I have friends and family who I am close to in real life.  But for others in that group, we are their only girlfriends.  If our group gets shut down like the other one, then they literally have no other friends to be with.

I know, we’re on the internet but we do phone calls, send cards to each other during the holidays, go on trips together, and do video slumber parties.  They really are a great close-knit group of women.  And we’ve been going strong for over three years.

And I see it about to hit a huge wall called TDP’s drama interjected by his girlfriend.

One of the women who don’t deal with TDP’s group either said the following about his girlfriend, she posts too many selfies and she had to unfollow her.  She didn’t have time for someone who needed to be told she was pretty that much.

I sat on my side of the screen chuckling.  Then one of the women in the group said that 2-3 selfies a month wasn’t that much.  Well the one who said that is the same one who spoke up for TG, A, and V.  A and V turned on her personally on her wall.  TG was well, you read the outcome.  So her friend vetting skills over the internet are practically nil in my mind.  And the woman who made the comment about the selfies only gets on Facebook 2-3 times a week.  So if someone who only gets on fb 2-3 times a week sees that many selfies from one person then that person is posting a lot of selfies.  But women with self-esteem issues are what surround TDP so that makes sense.

So what I’m going to do is the same thing I did for the other three women, nothing.  These are not my lessons to learn.  These lessons are for the ones who have the most to lose.  They should be guarding the group closely.  They’ll learn.  Hopefully.

I got other stuff to do and I’m going to get on that right now.

*salutes monitor with cheese danish*

Facebook is a debil…

Maybe.  I don’t know.  All I know is that 6 days of no fb and I am in a whole lot more positive mood. *chuckle* Girl Scouts’ honor *holds up GS swear fingers* I woke up happy Friday morning.  I wasn’t even mad at the alarm clock for once in my life and I’ve been waking up to an alarm clock since I was 10 years old.  My first clock was a birthday gift from my mother who told me it was now my responsibility to get myself up in the morning.  I didn’t like that Big Bird clock nor any other since. *chuckle* But Friday morning I was way too tickled at the dream I had had the night before to be mad. *spoiled contented sigh*

If this is what 6 days with no fb does, I wonder how much better it will be the longer I stay away?

I had meant to spend the week posting true love stories that I remember before my memory fades but I just got busy doing other things.  Believe it or not the hardest time to stay away from fb is at work.  Like I’ve posted before, I use it as filler time while I wait for people to respond to emails and phone calls.

It use to be that people got 5 business days to get back to me.  This week people had 48 hours. Period. If I had to send a second email, I cc’d their supervisor. *smirk* I know there are some people who wish I would go back to fb. *chuckle*  I was way too productive this week and I wasn’t interested in listening to anyone else’s drama. *chuckle*

I had a lovely Valentine’s Dinner.  I had to wait until Thursday, 2/16/12 to eat it though.  I picked up some stomach thing over the weekend.  No biggie though because it was still delish and I was full as two ticks! *lol* Faidley's crab cake, linguine with capers, olive oil, and cheese, and brussels sprouts.

Yeah.  I know, presentation could have been better but it was still delicious so whatever. *chuckle*

Even made myself heart shaped cupcakes.  I’m still perfecting how much batter goes into each heart tin.  This year I put two dollops and they still overflowed.  It didn’t seem like there was that much in the bottom but at least this time they kept their heart shape somewhat. *chuckle*  I guess this means one dollop per cupcake tin.  *lol* I’m learning.

I took a break from the internet sites period.  No fb, BA, OHN, or BL.  It was hard those first few days but today?  Heck, I don’t want to go back!

Six whine free days! *chuckle*  And it was lovely.  Someone is always whining or unhappy about something.  I don’t have a man.  There are plenty of them out there ain’t nothing stopping you from having one but you.  If my fat out of shape behind is turning down men then anyone who wants one should be able to get one.

I’m still getting my sexy back. *chuckle*  I was out one day and just felt the need to strut!  *lol*  I think I had been watching Staying Alive and it put me in the mind to do some strutting.  I was working my walk that day.  Could not tell me a thing I didn’t already know.  I even caught this really petite looking olive skin toned guy checking me out smiling.  I was like, not yet, give me a few more months and I’ll be ready for you.

Well, dang it, I went and sat down for an extended period and when I got up again everything from my waist down was calling me names! *lol*  My hips were like, HEFFA!  You know you ain’t strutted in years!  You got to warn us with some stretches and sh*t before you just up and decide you are sexy again!

*lol*  So I’ve started my stretching routine again. Ugh!  Sad to say it is so needed.

But I digressed, people whining that they hate their life, they hate their family, they hate this that and the other.  *shrug*  I just ain’t there and I ain’t interested in being there.  I’m not saying that I don’t throw a pity party from time to time but I always temper it by remembering there are AT LEAST a billion people in this world who would trade places with me in less than a blink of an eye and who I wouldn’t trade places with for any amount of money.

I lived there in Bitterland or I Hate Land or Lonely Land or whatever a person is whining about at any given time in my newsfeed once upon a time, then I got busy and occupied my time with other things.  Then I looked up and suddenly I didn’t live there anymore.

Everyone is on their own journey in this life.  I am hoping I am finished with that part of the journey.  That I have lived and learned from those past sojourns in those dry waterless places.  I know my challenges aren’t done.  I just hope those challenges are done and I move on to new lands to conquer.  I wish those still struggling the best and hope to welcome them on the other side of tribulation which is jubilation.   Never realized until now that those two words rhymed.  Makes a person think.

Yeah.  I could tell people how to get out of their funks.  As a matter of fact I have but if a person ain’t ready to hear that their relationship is over then they won’t accept it.  If a person is lonely and wants desperately to be in a relationship then the last thing they want to hear from me or anyone else is that they need to learn to love themselves first.  They will get mad and defensive and assure all that they love themselves.  But ask them to quickly name three things that they love or even like about themselves and see if some stuttering and stammering doesn’t happen.  They have to learn it for themselves.

Back when I use to hide my smile, a guy I dated briefly asked me did I like myself.  I had to think about it before I answered because I didn’t but I didn’t want him to know that.

Ask me now what I love or like about myself and I can do at least a five minute monologue. *chuckle* You might have to interrupt.  I’ve come to like and love the odd, chunky, cheery, chocolate cherub that is me.

Anyway, back to my week of loving me.

Oh my word, Saturday me and the Sandman had a lovely day together.  I kept telling myself I needed to get up and run some errands and Mr. Sandman kept saying no I didn’t and come back to bed.  *chuckle*  I got up and made lunch with the intent to get myself together to go out and run those errands.  But lunch was so good I laid across the bed to revel in it and next thing I knew I was asleep again. *lol*  I haven’t slept a whole Saturday away in years.  By 5:30 pm I gave up trying to go out and got up and made dinner.

Of course that meant I had to run errands, wash clothes, and cook today but I had the energy to burn today so, I guess yesterday was needed.  I wish more people could find a way to carve out a day of bliss that easily.  I even had energy to blog about my week and tweak CCW1’s post.  I have one paragraph to add and that post is done!

So now, what to do with fb?  I actually do have some folks on there who I’d miss if I cut fb out all together.  I definitely need to severely limit it though.  Eh, I’ll figure it out.  My week of peace isn’t over until Tuesday.

*tips mug at monitor*

Just some random thoughts...

I swung by my old hang out, OHN. The guy who runs the site was giving appreciation to the posters and lurkers. What bothered me was that he said his numbers were down. He didn’t know how it had gotten like that. I hope his numbers rebound soon. I like that spot.


I started wondering myself and immediately thought of a few things. One, the recession because people have had to cut back on luxuries like internet access at home. Also, those who access the site from work may have lost their jobs or their jobs may be blocking OHN now.

Don’t know if I mentioned that a few months ago I tried to sign on to OHN and one of the site’s sponsors popped up asking did I want to download something to my computer. Of course I clicked NO and the damn thing started downloading anyway. Luckily, I was at work on my lunch hour and the job’s firewalls caught it. Then my computer flashed a message that read CALL THE HELP DESK AT ____. *nervous chuckle*

We have 3 different computer help desks at my job: one for software, one for hardware, and one for network connectivity issues. There’s a different number for each. Normally you put in a help ticket and it will get triaged to the correct IT team. So when my computer for the first time ever flashed the message to call this number, I started sweating. Luckily, the firewall caught it after it replicated itself the first two times! By the time someone from IT got there it had replicated itself 4 more times. Soooooo, no more signing into OHN. I do check from time to time when I see there’s a new comic strip up.

I don’t know where he got that sponsor from. I definitely don’t even bother to check from home let alone sign in. I got a firewall but it is nowhere near as sophisticated as the one at work. I tried checking from an internet café a couple times and the café listed the site as blocked! Yikes!

The second problem he may be having is the couples. I know I’ve mentioned that a couple chicks have come after me after they thought I wanted their avatar boyfriends/husbands/fiancées/fantasies. *rolls eyes shrugging* Whatevs.

This time last year I took an internet hiatus from everybody, OHN, BA, and a couple other of my e-hangouts. Work got KA – RAY –ZEE!!! We had 2 people rushed to emergency surgery, another person had elective surgery that had been planned long before the emergency surgeries and then we had work being thrown at us from all over the place. We got some contracts in a country that we had to re-establish our presence in. So it was a mess from Thanksgiving until spring. So by the time I signed onto OHN again some things had changed. Like people who had just been regular single folk were now coupled up. That’s fine but I did a lot of stumbling while I figured out who was with whom.

After the culture shock I realized something, if it was that serious then the couples should have slipped into lurkerdome and let some new lurkers come out and become regular posters. The people posting now are not the same folks who where posting when I first started stopping by 2-3 years ago. Just like they fell off and new ones stepped in the same will likely happen if the couples with the sensitive (read insecure) womenfolk fall back. I mean one chick came at me after I was joking around with her e-hubby and come to find out Chante has a man at home in real life! *smh snorting*

I was like, and y’all treat me like I’m the crazy one. Yeah. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. So I just swing by, look at the strips, like, share on fb, and keep it moving. Lurking is fine for some sites but OHN is one I would want to comment on and it is no fun if I can’t comment. I have enough sites where I just lurk.

Then his third problem is probably that he doesn’t post enough comic strips. At least not for me anyway. The strips were what drew me in to begin with. The character he created, Boo, is an absolute fool and I loves his ectoplasmic heart. *chuckling* He use to give us a strip every week. Now it is really intermittent.

Anyways, what made me think of this is I ran across a couple of my attempts at starting my own website. *chuckle* I don’t think it is my forte. *lol* It takes a lot of time and effort to find your niche, get it up and running, keep it running while you find your audience and then grow your audience to where it is first self-sustaining and then profitable.

I compare OHN and Baller Alert and I don’t know how Boss did/does it. Boss is the screen name of the woman who runs Baller Alert (BA). I KNOW we are just as classy, sassy, intelligent, smart, funny and at times ig-nant as the folks on OHN and yet BA has great name brand sponsors. OHN *embarrassed shrug* A gay thug dating website? I’m so serious.

I hope he figures it out. I like his site and the people on it. We’ve had some great meet and greets. Now I can’t say that about BA.

Anyways…work tomorrow. That’s another post for another day. *smacks lips together sleepily* Oh! I got a new love. I call him Waldo. He is my new mattress and I heart his queen sized square self very much. And he requests I turn off my computer and get comfy now. So nighty nite.

They are making me come out of retirement.

Have mercy! These children. That’s all I can call them is children. I am watching the unraveling of womankind and it is ugly.

I am watching the ladies get played left and right and it is an awful sight to see. I give advice that is requested and then ignored. I am guessing because others believe that a fat, buck and gap toothed, black woman with glasses is single because she has no choice.

Poor things just don’t know. I am so much more than the above description. I am single by my choice. Period. *sighs* But I guess I am going to have to come out of retirement to show them how it is supposed to be done.

Who are “them”? Well there’s coworker # 1 whose husband put her out of the section 8 house they were sharing with his sister. He did this after she bought him a car. *smh* And she has the nerve to shake her head at me. She still wants this fool back even though he’s into white girls now. She is now following the teaching of Rev Jamal Bryant, philanderer extraordinaire. His fame comes from the fact that he threatened to kill his mistress when she filed papers to take him to child support court. This ninja is driving around in a $400k+ car and don’t want to pay child support. He makes my teeth itch.

Another “them” is coworker #2 who has been carrying a torch for her daughter’s father for 19 years. He is the only man she has slept with for 19 years. Though she ain’t the only woman he’s been sleeping with. She’s finally gotten him out of her system but the cost…the cost. *sadly smh*

Another “them” is this woman in my FB woman’s group. Her young man is playing her dirty. Real dirty. First he doesn’t like how she gets her orgasm. *blinkity blinkity blink blink* She just let it slide. Had it been me the story would have gone a little something like this. I would have either called in sick to work or scheduled a day off or waited until the weekend but I would have had a me day. She’s 33. At 33 I was having some financial difficulties so my me time would have been a leisurely breakfast at home, sans simple azz boyfriend. Then I would have gone window shopping to clear my mind. Then lunch at McDs, a Happy Meal. Seriously, some of those toys are cool. Judge me all you want but play time is just as important for adults as it is for children. *shruggingly rolls eyes* Then either a matinee movie or go to a park and just sit and think which option to choose from:

a) Move out and start dating again.

b) Move back home and start dating again.

c) Move to a different city and start dating again.

Forget him. There are men out there wishing they could make their woman orgasm that hard. They are trying everything and driving their women crazy, not in a good way either, trying to get her to reach the level of sexual satisfaction that this woman can reach when done right. Just so they can walk around beating their chests like Tarzan. *lol* And this young man is not only not pumped at what he can do but turned off by it? Yeah. I got to go. An orgasm is an awesome thing. If my man doesn’t like how I get mine then we can’t be lovers and that is fine. Everything ain’t for everyone. I would need to find me a man that was for me.

He’s done a couple more things since then that just make me smh and wonder why in the world she stays. She is just as velvety chocolaty pretty as she can be. Finding a new man should not be a problem as long as she is secure in herself. If she isn’t then she needs to ditch that zero and work on herself.

Coworker # 1 got on my last nerve this week and I took a FB break yesterday. I did an energy cleanse and did something special for myself today that brought my positive energy back up. I sign on to FB this evening and go to my women’s group to cut up and laugh.

FB is the devil.

The first story up is his latest offense and I had to laugh and log back off. This ninja has planned a sleep over at a friend’s house for Friday. The “friend” (read sex buddy) is a young woman and his girlfriend isn’t invited. *giggling my head off*

We are grownups. Male and female heterosexual adults do not do sleepovers unless someone is having sex. Some of the women in the group are assuring her there is nothing to worry about even though he is wrong in his assumption that it is ok.

Um, no, um, he is going to have sex with his “friend” and it is ok because he has decided that it is ok. Period. She even, for some strange reason, tried to flip it on him and asked him how he would feel if she slept over at a male friend’s place. He said he’d be fine with it.

I swear there should have been horns growing out of my head when I read that. *snickering*

23 year old me would have punched him in his throat.

33 year old me would have said, “Oh. Ok.” And there wouldn’t have been any other conversation on the matter. However, whenever he deigned to return to our residence this weekend he would find me walking around in a man’s shirt and cute panties that he’s never seen and two men that he’s never met would be walking around in whatever they felt comfortable walking around in. I would be glowing! I’m betting he would have come home Saturday morning because I wouldn’t have called him the whole time he would be gone nor would I be answering his calls. Suspicious, he’d a brought his butt home. He would have walked in the place and seen two dudes and his soon to be ex chilling. I’d look up and ask him does he want my friend to make him some pancakes. Then I’d watch him have a conniption fit and I’d have the other guy call 911 for him.

*gets up to do the Cabbage Patch and sing How ya like me now?*

43 year old me would have been gone when he had a problem with how I get my orgasm. An orgasm is a wonderful thing. And there ain’t a man alive worth skipping them. Ask a heterosexual man, any one of them, if there is a woman alive that would make him skip getting his orgasm his way.

There is something very important she is missing and I don't know how she missed it.  When a man claims a woman as his own he does not believe it is ok for her to have male friends sleepover nor for her to sleepover at a male friend's place.  I speak from experience. *lol*  And me and this dude were truly platonic, never shared a kiss.  However, platonic friend is/was friends with an ex.  When the guy I was seeing then claimed me as his woman, all that sleeping over at A's house had to stop.  He showed me the same respect.  This dude she is rooming with ain't claimed her or he has relinquished claim to her.  Poor thing doesn't seem to know it either.
Then there are a couple women in the group having self-esteem issues.

Then there are the children on BA that make me wish it was legal to slap someone when they are being stupid.

So, this fat, gap and buck toothed, four eyed, black woman is going to come out of retirement to show them how it is done.

Y’all heffas get on my nerves for making me eat right, exercise and do ish that I wouldn’t have to do if only you’d listen to me. You all have got the game all the way messed up.

*sucks teeth and goes to comptemplate things beyond most of these children's understanding*

Just an update

So I haven’t been around for a few months. That is because there is so much going on *pause* around me personally. A lot going on with me professionally. It is so crazy. I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with my GFN.


*chuckle*

Much as I thought she would, she filed for divorce in October 2010 from her husband. That’s pretty sad, I think. He’s a decent guy. Perfect? No, but then neither is she nor me nor anyone else. I kind of started a bit of a family stink several months back by telling her what I thought her problem was.

*rolls eyes*

Aye yi yi! I wish I had kept my mouth shut. I was just trying to get her to go back to couples counseling with him. Seriously, when you have a black man who wants to go to couples counseling and work on the marriage you got somebody worth building a life with. But all she kept hearing was that I didn’t think she knew how to take care of a man.

*blink blink* I have the emails to back up the fact I never said anything to that effect. Fact of the matter, according to her mother Sissy, is that she is seeing another man. *sigh* I’m done with it and moving on. Her life not mine. *smh* But that ain’t the way to a happy life. I guess she’ll have to learn the hard way like everyone else who takes that route.

My BFL’s daughter is trying to get divorced from her husband. I say trying because he refuses to sign the divorce papers even though she moved out May 2010 and he has moved in with his new girlfriend. *smh* Why hold onto somebody who a) doesn’t want you and b) you don’t want? The BFL’s daughter has moved back home to get back on her feet financially. She then totaled her new car. Then she got pregnant by her new boyfriend who her father doesn’t like. *sigh* Youth. Then she lost the baby a couple weeks ago. She is taking it pretty hard which in turn means my BFL is taking it hard with her. It is hard for any parent to see their child suffer regardless of the circumstances.

MB3’s sister has stage 4 cancer. Man, the hits just keep coming. I worry what will happen to the foster daughter she has had since she was a baby. So sad.

Meanwhile, MB3’s daughter is still unemployed and looking to her to support her, the boyfriend and his two sons, and her two daughters. And she’s doing it though not in the smartest of ways. I’ve tried telling her, hinting at her, pointing her in the right direction but she always says she can’t this, that, and the other. MB3 has two homes. One she owns outright and another she is paying a mortgage on and has been in it over 20 years.

I told her she should have her daughter get on Section 8, since her lazy azz won’t keep a job, and rent the house she still owes a mortgage on. The rent she will get from Section 8 will pay her mortgage and then some. The house she owns outright she could rent out as a group home for the mentally challenged. She could use the properties as collateral for a home loan and get the condo she has always wanted. The money she would get from the group home should pay the mortgage on the condo thus freeing up her salary to do with as she pleases.

Do you know what she said to me when I laid that plan out for her? She said she didn’t know she could do that. I said yes, that she should go talk to a real estate lawyer to work that out. She responded real quick she didn’t have money for that then went out and bought matching outfits for her and her granddaughters.

*blink pause blink*

Those outfits were the cost of an hour of a real estate lawyer’s time. *sigh* Now she sending out emails talking about telling people she is sewing pillows to make extra money. I replied ok. *sucks teeth*

Next up is MCB. *brief sunny smile* She got my godson off to his first year in college. He did well his first semester. Above a 3.0 on a 4.0 scale for his first semester and HE is disappointed that he didn’t do better. *smiling hard* I pray he keeps up the good work. His father however is another problem. *rolls eyes* I can’t stand that man but I ain’t got to sleep next to him so…whatever. He’s said he wants to contribute to his son’s college education and participate in more of his special events and blah blah blah. In other words, be involved with him now that he is over 18 when he couldn’t be bothered before. My godson is not stupid. It is causing familial upset. His son doesn’t want to be bothered but MCB would welcome some help with his college tuition. She’s walking a tightrope of sorts between the two of them.

Then the problems she’s been having on her job, that I told her to leave 5 years ago, are escalating. And she is another one that can’t say no to family. So she’s cosigned on a couple things she shouldn’t have. *smh* And she’s looking after an elderly uncle. She hasn’t talked about the guy she’s been seeing in awhile and I ain’t asking. Just what I mentioned above is more than an earful every time I hear from her.

Then I got these folk on the job. Ugh is all I can say. One thing I have learned on this job is the importance of being meticulous about keeping records. I swear almost on a daily basis they try to say they didn’t do something or didn’t know and then I have to point out the whens, wheres and whos of how they got the info on the right way to do something. Then they go away until they mess something else up.

*groan* Will I ever get to work with people who are adults on the inside as well as on the outside? I wonder what that is like.

I did do one very smart thing last spring. I let my hair go natural. *big smile* It took a minute for my hair to get the hang of it and it still needs some TLC but I am quite happy with the results.

One Sunday after washing my hair, I grabbed my blow dryer and all the gunk that goes into making it smooth and straight. I looked down at the hairdryer with comb attachment and the bottles before me and said “Screw it!” I looked in the mirror and told my hair, “Do you.”

It took a while for it to understand what I meant. I don’t blame my hair at all. First, my mother and sisters and then various hairstylists had been telling it what to do for better than 40 years. Now, it had to find itself. *chuckle* It took awhile but it is coming around nicely. At least I think so. And so do quite a few men.

*chuckle* And they’re nonblack American men. I don’t quite know what to make of that. One in particular is a nice Jewish guy from a nice Jewish family who I am sure will not like me and my natural locks at all. *chuckle* He better stop messing with me before I take him up on his offer and get him disinherited is all I know. *chuckle* But he is fun.

And, I am still looking for a replacement for Raul! *chuckling* Who would think that my coochay would be so picky. *lol* But that is a post for another day and I’m hungry. *smells dinner calling*

Till then… *tips wine glass at monitor*

It has been on my mind so...

Here are a few updates.

First, to one of thee best chuckles I've had in a while. I needed it. I am so sick of everyone calling me with the same dumb drama that is centuries old.

Seriously, if the Bible teaches you nothing else it will show you that the same ish going on today is the same ish that has been going on for thousands of years. Men and women cheat in and out of the bedroom, pedophiles, rapists, murders, liars and theives always abound and there are only a few honest folk around. And everyone who ain't honest is always mad at the honest folk. *shrug* That's what I got out of it anyway. Among other things of course.

But back to my chuckle, my FB pal Meme called me yesterday with something new that gave me the giggles even after I got off the phone. She has met this guy who she likes. The only problem she can find is that whenever he starts talking about his job she wants to fall asleep. LOL She gave me an example that with my highly imaginative mind gave me a good laugh. She said they were out to dinner and all was fine with the general chit chat until...he started talking about his job. LOL To make matters worse she ASKED him about his job hoping that since she wasn't tired that the inevitable wouldn't happen. LOL But it did. I just had this picture of her sitting at the table nodding out on his conversation LOL. Poor Meme! lol I hope she works it out cuz she does like the man. I've never been or known anyone to be in that situation. It was a refreshing new problem.

Normal BS: I know I probably shouldn't care. I probably wouldn't with all the other drama going on if there wasn't a child caught up in this mess but...*smh* My coworker and her husband are back together. He came back with bills in tow that he didn't have when he left her. So she is running around tired and haggard looking eating oodles of noodles wondering where their next meal is coming from.  He came back to her with defaulted credit cards and 3 pay day loans in tow. So she has been using her salary to carry the household along with paying his car note and insurance. *slow blink twice*

Meanwhile, she has a ten year old caught up in this mess. *sigh* She was doing so well without him. Then to top it off, her car gets towed and sold at auction for unpaid parking tickets. Leaving them with one car. Then a few weeks later his car gets TOTALED! Yikes! Luckily, they have gap insurance so that paid off his car.

However, when they go to buy another car because he needs it to get to and from work, she mind you is on the bus, he wants a Mercedes. *rapid fire blinking* And he gets mad because the dealership won't finance one for him with his credit. Ok...she makes more than him at 40k+/year. Why in thee hayle does he think he can afford a Mercedes?

Now, the dealership can put them in a car. I forget what kind but it was relatively new and a nice vehicle. He turned his nose up at it. Coworker said fine. Honey, how about I buy the car and you drive it for the next 6 months and then we can try to get you what you want at that time. He pouts and says he thinks they should both wait 6 months then try to buy TWO cars. One of them being a Mercedes on her $40k+/year salary.

I almost bit my tongue in half. *smh* Nevermind how is he going to get back and forth to work. Or how her child is going to get to school. Let's just wait. Now mind you they do not live in Bmore City or even Bmore County for that matter. They are far off the beaten track. She is taking a commuter bus to work and ish. *smh*

But what really got me was the day she came in here talking about she didn't have any food in the house or money to buy any. Then a neighbor gave them some food from their job. *side eye* How are you going to be foodless with a child and worried about your spouse wanting a luxury car?

iCan't! I'll be single for life first.

Next, my niece filed for divorce. Oh that heffa is shady! She rifled through her husbands financials trying to see if he was hiding any money before she left him. Her momma said she is seeing someone already. She is trying to get full custody of the son and keeping him from his father. She doing a bunch of ish that might have me and the rest of the family on the news in front of her house crying. *smh* Can't tell her ish either cuz she just knows it all. I just hope she got good life insurance cuz I ain't paying for her funeral. Her azz will be in Potter's field. That is all.

Normal job bs. Nothing new there.

OH! My old e-crush friended me on FB. I know I said I was gonna tell him who I am but I decided against it. He has moved on and has a new love in his life and he's happy. He said one day that he had found peace with her.

Wow!

So, I won't be disturbing that peace. I'm happy for them both. We are what we should have been all along, e-buddies and it is all good.

Other than that God is good and the world keeps turning. Though sometimes I do want to get off the planet. *chuckle*

I just figured it out...I think...

This life is a gift. It is a present. No matter how rich you are or poor you are. No matter how pretty you are or ugly you are on the outside. No matter how perfect or imperfect you are. None of this superficial shyt matters. None of it.

All that matters is that you take everything you got and use it to the best of your ability for all the best possible reasons.

The sins or wrongs come into play when you deprive someone of their joy. Their life. Their needs. Their purpose. Their evolution. Even if the person you are depriving is yourself.

I think the right to pursue life, liberty and happiness isn’t just a citizen of the USA thing. I think that is a human right.

I think I am about to change my life.
*tips ice tea glass at monitor*

What I love about being a woman

*flips over on stomach and grabs laptop*


The fully developed female breast is awesome. Yeah, I am going to start right here.

I was lying on my back here in bed topless as is my way during the summer. I happen to look over in the bedroom mirror and catch my reflection. And I am amazed at my side profile.

My cinnamon chocolate skin was bare except for a pair of black thigh high panties. My right leg was bent at the knee and swaying to some internal rhythm even I wasn’t aware of. My lumps, dimples and love handles had settled into a rather attractive pose. I could see the subtle indentation that is my waist. My waist isn’t as small as it use to be but it is still here!

Then sitting up rather perky for a 42 year old breast was Jasmine, the right one. I wonder should I really consider them to be 42 years old or should I just count the years they’ve been noticeable. I watch Jasmine rise and fall as I breathe.

She is this mound of cinnamon chocolate flesh sitting atop my chest. She is capped with a dark chocolate ring topped by a flat little button. I examine the breast with my eyes only. She is no mountain, at least not to me. Mountains are tall pointy things. Jasmine is round and soft and she jiggles outside the confines of a bra. Those aren’t mountain like characteristics at all. That’s ok. I like her soft like that.

I had taken a shower earlier and my skin was still damp. I was just relaxing on my day off. Then the air conditioner kicked on. A gush of cold air hits me and that flat little button transforms into a hard pebble completing a picture that I didn’t know was unfinished.

In that moment, I looked at myself and thought for the first time in a long time:

Damn, I look hot!

*chuckle* Now on twitter they would say take a picture or it didn’t happen. Well, consider this my snapshot. My snapshot in time for the day when my breasts are doing things that I am dreading. Or worse yet, they aren’t even there. *shrug* Who knows what the future brings? Not I but I can face it a little braver knowing that I have a memory stored here about a time when Jasmine and Jocelyn were awesomeness and I looked hot to me.

*shimmy shake and a chuckle*

My Obsession

I'm gonna make this quick cuz I just want to say it and move on.  I've been thinking about a lot of stuff since last I stopped by here. Still ruminating on MB3.  A lot of stuff going on in my life right now that's got me thinking about my life choices. No. Seriously. I got about 10 posts coming.

I like this whole blog thing believe it or not. And I wouldn't have believed it. I thought my little blurb about this blog being my therapy was a joke. I guess the joke is on me. I am actually working out some stuff in my head.

Baby steps. Baby steps.

Anyway, I wanted to say, I still miss My Obsession...just not as much.  Or it doesn't sting as much. He and I actually seem to frequent quite a few of the same blog sites. Go figure *shrug* great minds I guess. Anyway, on one he wrote that he had found someone that was making him really happy.

*sad frown*

I miss him but I'm happy for him, too.  Seeing that took away some of the sting of missing him.  I don't know if that makes sense or if that's even what I'm feeling.  I just know I was having a sadness within me about him and now, not so much sadness. The sadness came with a bit of sting and the sting is almost gone. I guess I just miss our friendship but really he doesn't have time anyway.

And I really am happy for him. *frown turns upside down* Now...back to working on my crazy azz. *chuckle*

*sits here shaking head at monitor as I contemplate lunch*

Crossroads

I am standing at a great precipice in my life and…I am a little scared. I don’t know quite which way to go. Or should I go? Or…I know but I don’t want to know.

*head hurts*

*sigh*

I’m making this a lot more difficult than it has to be, aren’t I?

I am at a place in my life where it’s time to cut some dead weight. Figuratively and literally in a lot of ways and I am scared.

If I take the jump there are people that will be left behind. They’ve been with me so long and I am afraid to let them go. They’ve been there through the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the laughter and the tears. But I am growing and they are not. But they have been there through so much for me…I…I just don’t know how to let go. I don’t know how to walk away. I don’t want to go.

There is at least one friend that I know has to go…

And there is part of me that I know has to go…

I don’t know what scares me more, losing the friend or that part of me.  It's not like friends are a dime a dozen these days.  And that part of me has been so integral to getting me where I am now.

There is a part of me that is still that little girl from the projects…and…she doesn’t fit in where I want to go.

*teary sigh*

I love that part of me. She is strong and smart and resilient. She is also small minded, ignorant, loud, crude and all things ghetto. She does not belong on cruise ships, Aspen, at jazz festivals, high tea, or on planes, trains or in limos.

I find myself slipping back and forth between where I want to go and who I can be and who I am/was. I love the possibilities of where I can go. But I love who I am/was. How do I just let go of the person that got me where I am? But I have to, don’t I? She does not belong. And it’s scaring me to death.

I feel like I am betraying who I am…but if I stay as I am then I betraying my future...oh hell. Why did I have to grow up?