I wasn’t riled or angry about this…until now.

It seems like wherever I go on the internet among black folk these days I eventually run into the topic of black men whose sexual orientation is bi-sexual.  Sometimes multiple times.  Yesterday on Baller Alert it reared its head again as a member posted that she had just found out that the guy she had been talking to via the Internet for the past year was bi-sexual.  Yesterday he had only been with one guy.  Today it is up to two.

We offered her support and advice that ranged from drop him to safe sex to being friends without benefits.  Then a member chimed in that it made him/her (not sure because they are relatively new) angry when black women don’t accept a black man whose sexual orientation is bi-sexual.  He/she admonished us about accepting them.  A long time member replied, if accepting them means having sex with them then no.  I paraphrase but yeah that is my feeling, too.

So I hopped over to my women’s group on FB to discuss it, yet again *chuckle*.  This was the first time I had ever brought up the topic though.  Anyway, we had a good discussion and I finally got my perfect answer that no one seemed to be able to refute though they did a lot of dancing around it.  It is this:

“I'm not disputing that women cheat. I'm just saying that I trust a woman not to cheat more than I trust a man not to cheat. The articles proclaiming that black bi-men who end up infecting their female partners with HIV/AIDS because they were denied the ability to be honest about their sexuality always fail to emphasize one point: if they hadn't been cheating in the first place then they never would have gotten HIV/AIDS. Doesn't that mean that black bisexual men can't be trusted to be faithful?”

I copied that direct from our post. That was my stand and I’m sticking to it.  Me and one lady agreed to disagree and parted happily enough.  I think the other two are miffed with me. *chuckle*

I know a few of the ladies in our group are bi-sexual.  I think they believe that what I think of men who are bi is what I think of women who are bi.  That just isn’t true.  Women and men are wired differently.  Men keep telling us this and we keep ignoring them.  I’m listening and paying attention, fellas, finally!

See, I may have stated it before and I’ll state it again and keep on stating it.  You cannot stop a black man from doing anything he wants to do or make him do what he does not want to do.

Nothing brought this home to me more than this news story from right here in Maryland.

BALTIMORE -- Quiet suffering continues more than five decades after a law tore apart a Baltimore couple and put their child in an orphanage.  Shirley Howard Billy has since returned to the place that held her captive in the 1950s: the former Pine Street Women's Jail, now an historic site.

Officials indicted and arrested Shirley Billy after she became pregnant by a black man. Now, at age 75, Billy and her 76-year-old husband, John, recently visited the former jail and reflected on how their relationship has endured.

"I never forget about it. I always think about it. I know it has been a long time, but it doesn't go away. It's creepy," Shirley Billy said of her time in the jail. "I cried all night. I was afraid I'd never get out."

Woman Indicted For Carrying Black Man's Child

Pictures help tell the story of the Billys' 53-year-old marriage, but in 1956, hair and clothing styles were much different, and so were social attitudes about interracial couples, WBAL-TV 11 News I-Team reporter Barry Simms said.

The indictment from May 1956 claims "Shirley Ann Howard, who was then and there a white woman, unlawfully suffered and permitted herself to be begotten with child by a negro or mulatto, to wit, John Moses Billy."

The penalty she faced amounted to 18 months to five years in prison.

"I had to go down to the grand jury to verify that I was the father of Shirley Howard's baby, and I wasn't about to deny it," John Billy said.

At the time, John Billy was a 21-year-old musician performing with a band known as The Honeyboys, and Shirley Howard was 20. To this day, she still has questions.

She said she has questions about "how this all came about. Why they pursued it with me and not other people. I could never get answers."

Officials Put Couple's Son In Orphanage

Shirley Billy spent one night in jail before getting bailed out, but that was only part of the ordeal. Social Services and Child Welfare officials took the couple's son, Johnny, and placed him in an orphanage, St. Elizabeth's Home for Colored Infants and Children, where he spent nearly two years.

"My son was in St. Elizabeth for quite a while," Shirley Billy said. "I had every day to think about how to get him home."  Shirley Billy's attorney argued that the origins of the Maryland law that landed her in jail dated back to 1663 and slavery. A later version in 1715 penalized white women who got pregnant by black men. The Billys said the law had never been enforced until Shirley Billy's arrest.

"I think, at the time, they wanted to take Shirley and make an example out of her," John Shirley said.

To get her son back, Shirley Billy had to prove to the court she was working, had a place to live and was married. John Billy said he was drafted into the Army during peacetime, but after basic training, he returned home and the couple married in 1958.

"We had to go to D.C. to get married," Shirley Billy said. "It was illegal in Maryland."

Case Dismissed; Apology Requested

A judge dismissed the case against Shirley Billy, which she said she never knew because her attorney told her not to go to court that day. The state since abolished the law, declaring it unconstitutional in 1957, but the impact of all of this estranged Shirley Billy from her family for more than 20 years.

Shirley Billy said her mother didn't get to know the grandchildren -- Johnny, Gregory and Terry -- until they were adults.

"I always said my mother ... missed out because they were really, really good, nice children," Shirley Billy said.  The Billys said they have suffered quietly, and now they are only seeking one thing.

"My position is an apology she should have gotten from the state of Maryland and from the city of Baltimore," John Billy said.  "John wants it for me. It's a thorn in his side. He wants it for me, and if he gets it, that's fine," Shirley Billy said.  "I want closure for you," John Billy said.

John Billy sent the following letter to Gov. Martin O'Malley in November: "My wife was arrested and put in jail because she broke a 275-year-old law in Maryland ... The law has since been taken off the books but the damage has already been done. I feel the state of Maryland and the city of Baltimore owes my wife an apology."

The Billys are still waiting for a response, something to prove the state of Maryland regrets the humiliation of the past. John Billy has yet to make a formal request for an apology to the city of Baltimore.

Read more: http://www.wbaltv.com/news/30460297/detail.html#ixzz1rJ9EsXqH

He’s lucky he didn’t get lynched when he got home.  Maryland is the old line state. Don’t let the bougie black people fool you.  There are places here in Baltimore that I would tell a black person to stay away from in the daylight hours let alone the night.

So in a time when a black man could be killed for dating, let alone marrying a white woman, you couldn’t stop them.  How is it that in 2012 they are being prevented from being bi-sexual?  Not gay.  Just bi-sexual.

Yeah.  Right.

I don’t understand why I don’t have the right to keep my vagina free of fecal matter.  That stuff gets all up in their peens and there is no peen douche.  Then they ejaculate it all into their women.  No thank you.  We can be friends if he likes but that is all. *shrug*  My body and my health.  HIV/AIDS is not the way to die if you don’t have to and for the most part you don’t.

I discussed the statistics that I got from the CDC mind you.  And I’m not much on stats either because they can be manipulated any which way you want.  But what I do notice is that they have yet to trace a single lesbian to contracting HIV/AIDS from homosexual activities.  All women who have gotten HIV/AIDS on the CDC’s stats either got it from blood transfusion, sharing dirty needles, or sex with a man who was HIV/AIDS infected.  The latter is the leading cause of women contracting HIV/AIDS.

Race or Ethnicity	Estimated # of AIDS Diagnoses, 2009	Cumulative Estimated # of AIDS Diagnoses, Through 2009*
American Indian/Alaska Native	155	3,700
Asiana	429	8,324
Black/African American	16,741	466,351
Hispanic/Latinob	6,719	190,263
Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander	50	839
White	9,467	426,102
Multiple Races	686	12,726

* From the beginning of the epidemic through 2009.
^a Includes Asian/Pacific Islander legacy cases.
^b Hispanics/Latinos can be of any race.

Link:  http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#aidsrace

Now, I don’t know when HIV/AIDS made its official debut on the scientific scene.  I just know that at 13 years of age I picked up a Time magazine and the cover read something like this: AIDS KILLS THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION.  *chuckle*

I remember being sad about it because I had been reading my friend’s father’s dirty mags and sex sounded like fun.  We couldn’t wait until we were old enough to join in the fun.  AIDS killed all those happy thoughts for us real quick. 

I am 44 years old now.  So they’ve been tracking HIV/AIDS cases for over 30 years now.  And the only way to date that a woman has gotten the disease is through blood transfusion, sharing dirty needles, or having sex with a man who is HIV/AIDS infected.  The leading cause for all women is having sex with a man who is HIV/AIDS infected.  And you want me to trust that a bi-sexual man is not going to cheat with another man?  Seriously?  Really?

Chile please.  The only reason they don’t want to come out of the closet is because they know they aren’t going to be faithful.  If the wife/girlfriend doesn’t know she should be checking how much time he spends with his male “friends” then he is free and in the clear to jump in as many booty holes as he wants to and vice versa.

I just don’t get the hostility toward me or anyone else who is not interested in DATING or MARRYING a person whose sexual orientation is bi-sexual.  Why don’t I have that right?

Those whose sexual orientation is homosexual are fighting for the right to a civil marriage.  Do I have to fight for the right not to be dating/married to a bi-sexual man?  I don’t even understand why I have to explain myself.  I don’t ask transgendered persons to explain themselves beyond what they say their mind is telling them.  Why is it my fault that my mind isn’t wired to be sexually attracted to a man who is bi-sexual?

If I were dating a man and he told me his sexual orientation is bisexual he would be moved to the friend zone.  Why?  Because I just don’t trust that he will be faithful.  Why set either one of us for a lot of suspicion, mistrust, and eventual heartbreak.  I don’t knock any woman who does it.  I would tell her to be safe and keep it moving.  It isn’t for me and I don’t understand why I’m wrong?

Is he wrong for wanting to sleep with men and women?  What about all the diseases and infections I could be opening myself up to by having sexual relations with a man whose sexual orientation is bi-sexual?  There isn’t just HIV/AIDS.  Don’t forget E. coli infections; hepatitis A, B; and C; and thank you American Cancer Society for letting me know that most of the people who get anal cancer, the rarest form of cancer, usually contract it through the anal sexual transmission of the Human papillomavirus.  Now I know why they want to vaccinate boys and girls for Human papillomavirus.  Risk Factors for Anal Cancer ACS

So when I add all that up it doesn’t seem worth it for me.  *shrug*  How about he accept my friendship?  Because if the only way for me to show acceptance of a man whose sexuality is bi-sexual is to have sex with him then call me a non-accepting heffa cuz I ain’t doing it.

*rolls eyes, sucks teeth, and chucks the whole lot of men who are bi-sexual the peace sign*

Angry white women

So yesterday seemed to be angry white women go around the internet and insult black women for no apparent reason day.  Or it may have just been the same white woman making the rounds of all the predominantly black websites.  I don’t particularly care.  I’m going to state the facts and why the fugg I was and am still pissed.

I was on OHN getting my laugh on when this white chick shows up out of nowhere with a backhand slap to black women on a post that had ZERO to do with insulting black women.  It was all a parody about black men.  I sat back and waited for someone to get her, like they jumped on the chick who stepped out and said black men ain’t shyt.  After several minutes when no one said a damn thing to defend our honor, I hopped over to fb and asked the ladies did they know this chick and when was someone going to get her azz.

Then me and the ladies headed back over to OHN and proceeded to put her azz in her place.  She did get called a bytch by one person one fugging time.  One, and only ONE, of the fellas tried to shut her azz down and out before she got too far but she kept typing so, as usual, we black women had to stand up for ourselves.  Only one man spoke up for black women’s honor and he only did so ONCE.

So yesterday evening the moderators called themselves addressing it by dressing down those who shut the chick up.  Because know she got shut the fugg up and no one threatened her life or told her to die or drink bleach.  She got a good old fashion dress down.  For which we got dressed down and I’ve been pissed and raw about it ever since.

So two years ago it was ok for the whole OHN community black, white, Hispanic, Asian, etc to come out on the chick who said black men ain’t ish and tell her all the ish I’ve mentioned before and above but it wasn’t ok for us black women, when it seemed only one of the men would speak up for us, to defend ourselves?  Bullsh$#!

So it was ok about 18 months ago for one of OHN’s stans to get into an altercation with an albino woman and quite a few OHNawlians to go in on her when she jumped in said stan’s azz?  That Twitter battle was epic.  That woman was so smart and awesome I started following her. LOL  She was having an argument with some of OHN’s best and holding her own.  In that instance they were wrong.  The OHN stan made an inappropriate comment about albinos and she let them know she took offense.  The stan instead of just dropping it started cussing her out.  And she dressed everyone of them down until she shut them down.

So that was ok?  Bullsh$#!

Now, on BA another white chick or maybe the same one, strolls over and turns a post that had not a thing to do with race into a race argument.  The post wasn’t one I was interested in so I missed most of the fireworks until I checked it at the end of my lunch and there were 113 comments.  I was like, let me go see what is going on.  This post shouldn’t have had more than 20-30 comments and it blew up.  After reading about 3 pages I saw what happened and that said white chick got her azz served on toast points as she should have.

Today, one of the ladies who participated in the down dressing posted an apology to Boss.  Boss was like for what?  That was mild compared to how bad we have been in the past.  Personally, I believe the chick had it coming.  It may even be her kink.  Masochists come in many different levels, from verbal to physical abuse.

I’m just at this point now where I see, black women always have to stand on our own and handle our own because black men will not do it for us.

OHN’s regluator said that we showed her just what she wanted to see.  My thought was: What?  That black men don’t value their black queens enough to shut anyone down who disrespects them?  Because that’s all I saw.

OHN’s regulator said next time just email one of them.  But see, they call themselves a community and that ain’t a community.  That’s grade school.  Ooooooh Miz Moderator, she said black girls ain’t shyt.  Then Miz Moderator smacks the tattletale for saying "shyt".

Nah, I’m 44 years old.  I ain’t perfect nor am I saying I’m right.  I’m just saying, nah.  That ain’t for me.

See, if you walk into my physical community and attack me verbally I am going to give as good as I get.  Period.  WTF do you look like calling the police because someone said you ain’t shyt?  The 911 operator will ask if the person threatened you with physical violence and when you say no then they’ll tell you there is nothing they can do.

Well there is something I can do.  I can tell you just what I think of your notions about black women.

A white woman can have THREE different semen stains in her panties.  Only one of the stains belongs to her boyfriend but it was the black pro-athlete that raped her.

A little black teenage girl can be found raped, beaten, covered in human excrement and cuts but she wasn’t raped?  I can say a lot of negative things about Rev Al Sharpton but to this day I got to respect him for standing by her then.  I recently saw an interview, he still stands by that young girl even though white people still want to say she wasn’t raped.  He’s the only black man so far who will do so publicly.

And black men wonder why they can’t get the fugg ahead.  You NEVER let anyone disrespect your queen just like I would never let anyone disrespect my king.  Until they learn that cardinal rule they more than likely won’t get the fugg anywhere either.

I noticed even the white guys kept their mouths shut during that confrontation.  They can say they weren’t there all they want to but I won’t believe it.

They keep trying to push us to the bottom and telling us to shut up but I won’t be quiet.

Cool, that is his site and his rules.  I got to respect that.  So maybe it is best I just keep my comments to myself and stay the hell off the site.  Because you know what?  If she or anyone else black, white, green, indigo or what the fugg ever said that ish today, tomorrow, or 100 years from now and I’m still alive reading on OHN or any other website I will still do and say the same damn things.

This song says it all.  If I live long enough to see black men pull their collective heads out of their crotches and do an about face and treat each and every black woman with the respect that a man shows his queen and some young un asks me why were black women so angry when I was young I’ll have a post to remind me.

*pushes play*

My fb women's group

So we were having a little discussion in my women’s group on fb. I love my women’s group.  I’m gonna miss them when fb finally puts the coup de grâce on folks and makes people leave en masse.

Anyway, I’m gonna use initials because anything else will just confuse me when I’m a senior citizen trying to read through my younger ramblings.  Every now and again I run across an old journal and spend a few hours chuckling at myself and what was oh so devastating back then.  So I know this blog should give me days of entertainment someday.

So the couple that I gave until spring before they broke up and they made it to February was the topic.  TG is the girl and ES is the guy.  It has now been revealed that he had been seeing another woman seriously since at least January. *pursed lip eye roll*

So TC one of our resident brilliant – and published – writers said that she had not been exposed to people who find a new relationship before ending the current one.

I responded quick as you please that I needed to move to where she is because I’ve seen it so much in the Delaware, Maryland, Virginia area for YEARS that I thought it was the norm.  She didn’t respond to me.  I think she thought I was being smart mouthed but I wasn’t.

It is Sunday chore day and it got me to thinking about all the people who have done this, gone through the drama that A.L.W.A.Y.S. accompanies breaking up with one person after you’ve hooked another person and then lived to repeat the pattern and of course drama.

Now, I’ve never done it because I’ve seen the aftermath.  Think arrest, cavity searches and court cases.  Seriously.  It ain’t for me.

But whenever I’m approached by a guy and they ask my relationship situation, I respond single.  The next question is almost invariably: Do you have a friend with benefits.  No. I do not.  That’s when I get people telling me I’m lying.  Once I convince them I’m not lying then they look at me like I got 3 heads.

*head scratch*  Somewhere in the last 20 years people have decided that they can’t live without sex with another person or they will die.  I’m here to tell you today that you can survive an extended period of time without having sex with another human being.  Seriously.  You will not melt, die, go insane, become a homicidal maniac, commit suicide, rape animals, spontaneously combust, etc.

If anything, abstinence – once you get over the hornies and they are a devil – calms you.  You think before you leap.  Rational thought seems to be severely lacking nowadays.  Maybe all the sex people are getting and constantly seeking is the reason.

Something to think about.

See, I was a tomboy by happenstance.  My mother was very protective of her girl-child as a parent should be.  A parent should be very protective of every child.  Not to stop them from running, jumping, playing and such. No.  She never stopped me from doing that unless it was in the house. *chuckle*  But she protected me from the monsters out there.  The monsters in smiling adult faces who seek to destroy childhood innocence.  I blogged a bit about them in my men are nasty post.  I’ve since learned from men that men and women can be just as nasty to little boys.  It is a dangerous world out there folks.  Get off the cell phone and keep an eye on your children.  You can talk to them until you and they are blue in the face and they won’t understand until it is too late.  Think about when you taught them the stove is hot and not to be played with.  It wasn’t until they touched it and it hurt that they understood.  Same thing with stranger danger.

So anyway, we lived on Park Heights Avenue when I was between 18 months and 10 years old.  My mother did not allow me to cross the street.  Unfortunately, that’s where the little girls my age lived.  Across the street.

I wasn’t allowed to go but 3 houses away.  The only kids in that radius my age were boys.  So I became a tomboy outside and a girl in the house.  I was all dolls and such when I was playing in the house.  I was playing football, not touch or tag football but FOOTBALL, outside with the boys.  And these boys did not care that I was a girl.  I got sacked just like the guys and I wasn’t allowed to cry about it otherwise they just wouldn’t play with me anymore that day. 

No bullying or teasing, just you go sit down since you are hurt. 

SN: how did my generation raise such mean spirited and evil kids that they would goad other children into committing school shootings, suicide and such?  I think it is when people decided they didn’t need God in their lives that it happened.  When you don’t believe in consequences, Heaven, Hell or that God is watching and keeping score then you are free to do whatever pops into your head to do.  My blog.  My opinion.

So my point is that with all the time I spent in my formative years with guys it has always been easy for me to socialize with them.  Most of my friends’ men love me and I’m one of the few friends of their women they are always glad to see.  If your man doesn’t like me it is because he is not a good guy and he knows that I know it.  He also knows I know how to get rid of him.  It is such an odd thing, I can look a guy in the eye and know immediately.  We both know immediately that we ain’t gonna like each other.  It is always such an odd feeling, too.

Thanks AC., B., B., and B.  My years with y’all scrounging in the mud, climbing trees – yes there are trees in the city worth climbing – walking rooftops, jumping off garages, etc somehow helped me be a better judge of male character.

When I got to college all I dressed in was jeans, tees, and a ponytail.  Only time I was in a dress was for different Greek organization balls or when I ran out of laundry money.  Then I pulled out all the stops to remind the guys I was all girl. *chuckling remembering the results*

But I melded right in with a group of guys and those guys tried me, too.  I was attracted to a few in the group I hung out with.  Until I spent some time with them getting to know them.  The mask they show to girls gone and the real guy exposed.  Yeah.  I liked hanging with them but I wouldn’t have wanted not a one of them as my boyfriend.  A few were dating friends of mine and as long as they treated them right then I didn’t bust on them.

After a few of them tried to turn me into a friend with benefits and failed they assumed I was gay. *smirk*  I busted some egos when they found out I wasn’t.  *uncaring shrug*

But I sat there and listened to how they ran game.  How they slipped and slid around the rules they have in place for their women but didn’t necessarily follow themselves.

Like I said, men are nasty.  At the core of quite a few of them back in the day was crud.  Those crudballs have raised a whole new generation of crudball men and they are winning.  Most women don’t know their guy is a crudball until it is too late.

Like the little gremlin that is at the root of TG’s heartbreak.  Back in the day there was a guy on campus who he reminds me of in the looks department and he got zero women.  Now women are fighting over these little gremlins? *snort, gag, choke, guffaw*

I got to respect his skills even if I don’t respect his game play.  He will get his and I wouldn’t want to be standing next to him when he does.  That kind of stuff has the tendency to spill over onto whoever is with him.

Straight up, if your life ain’t going right and you KNOW you ain’t done anything that would make God mad, karma get in your butt, or what goes around come around to see you, then take a look at who you are hanging with and what they are doing.  More than likely they’re comeuppance is spilling over onto you.  Leave them alone immediately.

That ain’t 100% true all the time but it is always worth a check.

His game: it was revealed by TG that last year he was cheating on his girl with her.  The previous girl tried to warn her.  That leads me to believe that he did that with his previous girlfriend and that this is how he operates.  He sells women on love – no no # 1 in the player’s handbook – and then takes advantage of them until he finds his next mark.  There is a new one every year.  Last year was TG’s year.  This year it is some new chick.

This little gremlin mofo got TG to move from the top of the USA – I forget which state – to Georgia to be with him so that they could marry and start a life together after he graduated last year.  She just needed to foot the bills until he did.

This little gremilin mofo ain’t graduated yet and has moved onto a new girl.

Now, what leads me to believe we all might end up Dateline’s one black crime story of the year is the following:

TG refuses to let this ish go and accept that how she got him is how she lost him.  She keeps emailing his frat brother who assures her he is giving ES a hard way to go. *eye roll*  Meanwhile, ES has unfriended everyone BUT her dog.  So she is spying on his FB page through the dog’s page. *slow blink*

First off, your dog shouldn’t have a fb page unless it is a show dog or performer or you breed dogs. Period.  Anything else and you need to go outside and make some real life friends.

Second, her friends aren’t being friends.  First they told her that ES would not cheat on her when he wanted to go sleep over at another girl’s house. Still snickering about that mind you.  Then they aren’t being real with her.  They keep saying she just needs love and to vent.  No.  She needs to accept that this is her comeuppance for how she got him last year.  Accept that he is pond scum.  Accept that he is not going to put back on his nice guy façade and come back to her.  And accept that his frat brother is reading her emails and laughing at her more than likely with ES.

I find it real convenient that ES has unfriended everyone but the dog.  Come on now, she and the dog have the same last name and the dog’s pic is in his avi.  Then all his fb posts are about how wonderful his life is.  She believes he is lying because of the lies that his frat brother is telling her.

Let me tell you what I believe is going on.  The frat brother is trying to keep things smooth between the frat and their sister organization.  TG is pledging the sister organization and I think that is a HUGE mistake right now.  This is something she needs to put off at least a year until she has some distance between the break up and its aftermath.  She is 33 years old.  If she didn’t do it in undergrad and ain’t done it in all the years since, waiting a year won’t hurt her any.  Why the same chapter he and his new boo are in?  Yeah.  This is a bad idea all the way around and true friends would have told her so and convinced her otherwise.

And despite what she thinks, unless the frat brother is gay, he wants to screw her.

Every email he gets is another joke between the brothers.

Frat brother: Man! ES! You must have put it DOWN on this chick! *laugh laugh laugh* She is still emailing me tripping!

ES: What can I say, frat? What can I say?  Thanks for handling her for me.  Last thing we need is the hens in the sister organization to be all riled up.  I owe you.

Frat brother: You mind if I tap that when I get a chance?

ES: Naw man! Do you but you see how crazy she is. *laugh laugh laugh*

Frat brother: Crazy puzzi is the best man! *laugh laugh laugh*

ES: Well let me hip you to something dude…

The rest of that convo of what ES would share is confidential and was shared in the group and I don’t feel right sharing it here even though I ain’t naming names.  Just know ES is telling all her sordid little secrets.

She’s stalking him through the dog’s fb page, emailing the frat every other day, pledging the same chapter as him and his new boo, refuses to hear anyone saying anything disparaging against him, and she still believes he is a good guy, he’s just confused.

Yeah.  Right.  Uh huh.

I believe she is two steps away from killing her own dog, hanging the dog on his momma’s front door, and writing in the dog’s blood: You forgot to unfriend me, ES!!!!

It has been three weeks and she has not begun to move on.  People are trying to sugar coat this for her when she needs someone to wake her up.  Now!  Before I need a lawyer to tell the press: Ms Flake has no comment at the moment.  Her heart goes out to the families involved.

I’m sure the guys on OHN think it is amusing, too.  ES and TG met there.  I’m sure just like the OHNawlettes know what is going on, so do the OHNellows.  There was even a post regarding guys playing girls and how the poster didn’t think the guys should be taken to task for something we women allow to happen to us.  That is BS but that is a post for another day.

TG said the post made her feel some kind a way about it because she is in that situation now.  Yeah.  Not cute fellas.  If this mess gets messier and ends up a court case they will not find it funny when the FBI is crawling through OHN’s archives, pulling up fb chats and convos, skype transcripts, etc.

Makes me glad she doesn’t like me.  We don’t’ have more than a handful of convos and we are usually on opposing sides.  Ms. Flake ain’t got anything to comment on.  Thank you, Lord!

Add to the fact that most of the folk who met on OHN are engaged or have gotten married and she ended up with one of the duds.  Now tell me she doesn’t have a lot on her plate to make her not just a little crazy but a lot crazy.

Yeah, one of her friends needs to have a confidential offline chat with her.  They need to catch a plane, get in a car, reach her by caravan or something before this turns into a Fatal Attraction.  They may not think it is that serious but then I bet Amy Fisher’s family didn’t think it was serious either.  How about the female astronaut driving in a diaper to kill the wife of the guy she wanted?  Women can be just as crazy as men.  It doesn’t take much to push someone over the edge.  We have not walked with TG her whole life.  We don’t know what other things are swirling around in her head.  We don’t know if or how many times she’s been here before.

What I do know is that at the 3 week mark she should not still be emailing his frat brother, she should not be pledging the same chapter as her fresh ex and his new boo, and she should definitely not be stalking him through the dog’s fb page.

Did I mention she was one of the women who came out after me when I spoke to her avatar boyfriend one too many times on OHN?  Yeah.  One of her friends better get her and soon.

*goes to practice saying “No comment” in the mirror*

Facebook is a debil…

Maybe.  I don’t know.  All I know is that 6 days of no fb and I am in a whole lot more positive mood. *chuckle* Girl Scouts’ honor *holds up GS swear fingers* I woke up happy Friday morning.  I wasn’t even mad at the alarm clock for once in my life and I’ve been waking up to an alarm clock since I was 10 years old.  My first clock was a birthday gift from my mother who told me it was now my responsibility to get myself up in the morning.  I didn’t like that Big Bird clock nor any other since. *chuckle* But Friday morning I was way too tickled at the dream I had had the night before to be mad. *spoiled contented sigh*

If this is what 6 days with no fb does, I wonder how much better it will be the longer I stay away?

I had meant to spend the week posting true love stories that I remember before my memory fades but I just got busy doing other things.  Believe it or not the hardest time to stay away from fb is at work.  Like I’ve posted before, I use it as filler time while I wait for people to respond to emails and phone calls.

It use to be that people got 5 business days to get back to me.  This week people had 48 hours. Period. If I had to send a second email, I cc’d their supervisor. *smirk* I know there are some people who wish I would go back to fb. *chuckle*  I was way too productive this week and I wasn’t interested in listening to anyone else’s drama. *chuckle*

I had a lovely Valentine’s Dinner.  I had to wait until Thursday, 2/16/12 to eat it though.  I picked up some stomach thing over the weekend.  No biggie though because it was still delish and I was full as two ticks! *lol* Faidley's crab cake, linguine with capers, olive oil, and cheese, and brussels sprouts.

Yeah.  I know, presentation could have been better but it was still delicious so whatever. *chuckle*

Even made myself heart shaped cupcakes.  I’m still perfecting how much batter goes into each heart tin.  This year I put two dollops and they still overflowed.  It didn’t seem like there was that much in the bottom but at least this time they kept their heart shape somewhat. *chuckle*  I guess this means one dollop per cupcake tin.  *lol* I’m learning.

I took a break from the internet sites period.  No fb, BA, OHN, or BL.  It was hard those first few days but today?  Heck, I don’t want to go back!

Six whine free days! *chuckle*  And it was lovely.  Someone is always whining or unhappy about something.  I don’t have a man.  There are plenty of them out there ain’t nothing stopping you from having one but you.  If my fat out of shape behind is turning down men then anyone who wants one should be able to get one.

I’m still getting my sexy back. *chuckle*  I was out one day and just felt the need to strut!  *lol*  I think I had been watching Staying Alive and it put me in the mind to do some strutting.  I was working my walk that day.  Could not tell me a thing I didn’t already know.  I even caught this really petite looking olive skin toned guy checking me out smiling.  I was like, not yet, give me a few more months and I’ll be ready for you.

Well, dang it, I went and sat down for an extended period and when I got up again everything from my waist down was calling me names! *lol*  My hips were like, HEFFA!  You know you ain’t strutted in years!  You got to warn us with some stretches and sh*t before you just up and decide you are sexy again!

*lol*  So I’ve started my stretching routine again. Ugh!  Sad to say it is so needed.

But I digressed, people whining that they hate their life, they hate their family, they hate this that and the other.  *shrug*  I just ain’t there and I ain’t interested in being there.  I’m not saying that I don’t throw a pity party from time to time but I always temper it by remembering there are AT LEAST a billion people in this world who would trade places with me in less than a blink of an eye and who I wouldn’t trade places with for any amount of money.

I lived there in Bitterland or I Hate Land or Lonely Land or whatever a person is whining about at any given time in my newsfeed once upon a time, then I got busy and occupied my time with other things.  Then I looked up and suddenly I didn’t live there anymore.

Everyone is on their own journey in this life.  I am hoping I am finished with that part of the journey.  That I have lived and learned from those past sojourns in those dry waterless places.  I know my challenges aren’t done.  I just hope those challenges are done and I move on to new lands to conquer.  I wish those still struggling the best and hope to welcome them on the other side of tribulation which is jubilation.   Never realized until now that those two words rhymed.  Makes a person think.

Yeah.  I could tell people how to get out of their funks.  As a matter of fact I have but if a person ain’t ready to hear that their relationship is over then they won’t accept it.  If a person is lonely and wants desperately to be in a relationship then the last thing they want to hear from me or anyone else is that they need to learn to love themselves first.  They will get mad and defensive and assure all that they love themselves.  But ask them to quickly name three things that they love or even like about themselves and see if some stuttering and stammering doesn’t happen.  They have to learn it for themselves.

Back when I use to hide my smile, a guy I dated briefly asked me did I like myself.  I had to think about it before I answered because I didn’t but I didn’t want him to know that.

Ask me now what I love or like about myself and I can do at least a five minute monologue. *chuckle* You might have to interrupt.  I’ve come to like and love the odd, chunky, cheery, chocolate cherub that is me.

Anyway, back to my week of loving me.

Oh my word, Saturday me and the Sandman had a lovely day together.  I kept telling myself I needed to get up and run some errands and Mr. Sandman kept saying no I didn’t and come back to bed.  *chuckle*  I got up and made lunch with the intent to get myself together to go out and run those errands.  But lunch was so good I laid across the bed to revel in it and next thing I knew I was asleep again. *lol*  I haven’t slept a whole Saturday away in years.  By 5:30 pm I gave up trying to go out and got up and made dinner.

Of course that meant I had to run errands, wash clothes, and cook today but I had the energy to burn today so, I guess yesterday was needed.  I wish more people could find a way to carve out a day of bliss that easily.  I even had energy to blog about my week and tweak CCW1’s post.  I have one paragraph to add and that post is done!

So now, what to do with fb?  I actually do have some folks on there who I’d miss if I cut fb out all together.  I definitely need to severely limit it though.  Eh, I’ll figure it out.  My week of peace isn’t over until Tuesday.

*tips mug at monitor*

I want to say something on BA buuuuuuuuut...

Last night on BA a rather spirited conversation started about the value of peen vs coochay. Long story short peen is free and coochay is *pause* not free. *chuckle*

A bit of a war broke out and I wanted to join in this afternoon but I noticed something. The fellas have all gone silent and into hiding. *chuckle* This cannot be good. I figure too many of their manly nerves got struck. But one of them had the nerve to say coochay is worthless. *blink blink* On a site owned and operated by a woman, for women, and where the overwhelming majority of the posters are women.

Um...no bueno.

Anyhoodles, what did surprise me is that there were only a few of the regular women posters reading the guy. The rest of the ladies were very quiet on the matter and that was another reason for me to still my fingers and sit back and take stock.

This guy is a new poster whose story just doesn't add up to me. Another reason I don't advocate internet dating. The Y chromosone is the lie chromosone. Period. Men are good liars in person. On the internet they are freaking brilliant at it. *smh*

I hope not too many of the chicks fell for his lies. As soon as he popped up spouting off about all the people he knows with money and how he's just stacking bills etc my BS meter sprang to life. *chuckling* He sounds like someone who is on the outside looking in at the wealth and has gleaned just enough knowledge to fool someone who is naive, be she from the projects or a small midwestern town. He just doesn't sound like he spends oodles and oodles of time around rich folk as someone they would socialize with. Heck, he doesn't sound like someone I would socialize with and I'm basic. *shrug*

Last week he was bragging about his $10k ghetto blessing. His words not mine. Though, $10k in this economy isn't a lot of money, I wouldn't call it a ghetto blessing. I'm not even sure what that would be. No blessing God bestows upon me is small or considered ghetto to me. A ghetto is something most people with sense aspire to get up and out of. A blessing is something people hope, beg, plead, and pray for. I mean, I've never prayed to live in the ghetto, not even a French ghetto and I so would love to live/visit France but not to live/stay in a ghetto. No thanks. So, I'm not sure why he was downing his alledged cash winfall that he wasn't expecting.

I know $10k would make a lot of women (and men) drop their panties. *shrug* To each his/her own. That's the price of a sensible used car, so it is nothing to sneeze at but you still have to pay insurance, gas, maintenance, emmissions test, and registration. Yeah. I wasn't impressed but good for him if it was true.

It did make me sigh though. Why ninjas always got to tell everyone when they got money? I don't understand it. I mean, if he was doing what I suspected from jump, trying to get some chicks to give him some play, then yeah it would work for some women and not for others. *shrugs and sighs*

Anyway, I couldn't say this on BA because, I think the fellas are already in their feelings. *chuckle* Sometimes it is best to just STHU and leave well enough alone. Everything that needed to be said had been said.

Of note though was the difference in how this conversation about women/coochay being worthless went down as opposed to the chick who showed up on OHN and said black men ain't sh__.  OHN cussed her out and told her to die or something along those lines. My BA ladies engaged him in facts and examples. *smiles* They are some witty and intelligent women on that site. And the regular long time male posters STHU. *LMAO* So they are pretty smart, too.

Just some random thoughts...

I swung by my old hang out, OHN. The guy who runs the site was giving appreciation to the posters and lurkers. What bothered me was that he said his numbers were down. He didn’t know how it had gotten like that. I hope his numbers rebound soon. I like that spot.


I started wondering myself and immediately thought of a few things. One, the recession because people have had to cut back on luxuries like internet access at home. Also, those who access the site from work may have lost their jobs or their jobs may be blocking OHN now.

Don’t know if I mentioned that a few months ago I tried to sign on to OHN and one of the site’s sponsors popped up asking did I want to download something to my computer. Of course I clicked NO and the damn thing started downloading anyway. Luckily, I was at work on my lunch hour and the job’s firewalls caught it. Then my computer flashed a message that read CALL THE HELP DESK AT ____. *nervous chuckle*

We have 3 different computer help desks at my job: one for software, one for hardware, and one for network connectivity issues. There’s a different number for each. Normally you put in a help ticket and it will get triaged to the correct IT team. So when my computer for the first time ever flashed the message to call this number, I started sweating. Luckily, the firewall caught it after it replicated itself the first two times! By the time someone from IT got there it had replicated itself 4 more times. Soooooo, no more signing into OHN. I do check from time to time when I see there’s a new comic strip up.

I don’t know where he got that sponsor from. I definitely don’t even bother to check from home let alone sign in. I got a firewall but it is nowhere near as sophisticated as the one at work. I tried checking from an internet café a couple times and the café listed the site as blocked! Yikes!

The second problem he may be having is the couples. I know I’ve mentioned that a couple chicks have come after me after they thought I wanted their avatar boyfriends/husbands/fiancées/fantasies. *rolls eyes shrugging* Whatevs.

This time last year I took an internet hiatus from everybody, OHN, BA, and a couple other of my e-hangouts. Work got KA – RAY –ZEE!!! We had 2 people rushed to emergency surgery, another person had elective surgery that had been planned long before the emergency surgeries and then we had work being thrown at us from all over the place. We got some contracts in a country that we had to re-establish our presence in. So it was a mess from Thanksgiving until spring. So by the time I signed onto OHN again some things had changed. Like people who had just been regular single folk were now coupled up. That’s fine but I did a lot of stumbling while I figured out who was with whom.

After the culture shock I realized something, if it was that serious then the couples should have slipped into lurkerdome and let some new lurkers come out and become regular posters. The people posting now are not the same folks who where posting when I first started stopping by 2-3 years ago. Just like they fell off and new ones stepped in the same will likely happen if the couples with the sensitive (read insecure) womenfolk fall back. I mean one chick came at me after I was joking around with her e-hubby and come to find out Chante has a man at home in real life! *smh snorting*

I was like, and y’all treat me like I’m the crazy one. Yeah. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. So I just swing by, look at the strips, like, share on fb, and keep it moving. Lurking is fine for some sites but OHN is one I would want to comment on and it is no fun if I can’t comment. I have enough sites where I just lurk.

Then his third problem is probably that he doesn’t post enough comic strips. At least not for me anyway. The strips were what drew me in to begin with. The character he created, Boo, is an absolute fool and I loves his ectoplasmic heart. *chuckling* He use to give us a strip every week. Now it is really intermittent.

Anyways, what made me think of this is I ran across a couple of my attempts at starting my own website. *chuckle* I don’t think it is my forte. *lol* It takes a lot of time and effort to find your niche, get it up and running, keep it running while you find your audience and then grow your audience to where it is first self-sustaining and then profitable.

I compare OHN and Baller Alert and I don’t know how Boss did/does it. Boss is the screen name of the woman who runs Baller Alert (BA). I KNOW we are just as classy, sassy, intelligent, smart, funny and at times ig-nant as the folks on OHN and yet BA has great name brand sponsors. OHN *embarrassed shrug* A gay thug dating website? I’m so serious.

I hope he figures it out. I like his site and the people on it. We’ve had some great meet and greets. Now I can’t say that about BA.

Anyways…work tomorrow. That’s another post for another day. *smacks lips together sleepily* Oh! I got a new love. I call him Waldo. He is my new mattress and I heart his queen sized square self very much. And he requests I turn off my computer and get comfy now. So nighty nite.

Way back when

Today is Sunday. The day for my chores. I usually do them in quiet which gives me time to think. I can work out my problems or plan for the week or just let my mind wander. Today my mind wandered back to 1993, when the internet was fun for me.

It is this whole fb blocking thing that made me start thinking about the good ole days of the internet. *chuckling* For me, surfing the net started in the summer of 1993. It was so simple for me then. And it was fun.

AOL was the IP then and they had chat rooms that you could breeze in and out of cool as you please. Everyone I met was fun and just looking for fun on the net. There were no pics just generic guy and girl shapes. The word avatar was unknown. The chat rooms had names that pretty much told you what the topics were. There was role playing, gossip, game talk, entertainment, politics and music and so much more. And everyone just seemed to be out to have fun in the nameless faceless ether that was the net. There was no exchanging of pics or tracer programs or internet stalking or cyber bullying, etc.

What the heck happened?

How did we take something so simple and fun and make it into the mess it is today?

My internet persona is just me…free. Free of responsibilities, prejudices, worries, and woes. Pure unadulterated me. Who I would be if life didn’t get in the way everyday that ends in Y.

But I wonder now, what will become of that part of me. I did some wandering around the net last night after I posted just trying to gage what is out there. Who I want to be next? Dang it, I liked my screen name! *pout*

I don’t want to reinvent myself but this net and these generations of people who are there now and coming *pause and face scrunch* they aren’t like me. They aren’t like the people I first met in 1993.

In 1993, I could pop into a role play room, usually something magical *chuckle*, and laugh and joke and play the role I had come up with and breeze back out. We all knew it was just for laughs and kicks. Most of the time anyway. Every now and again some guy would want to know me offline and I’d politely decline and he’d accept it and that was that. It was all so polite and civil. Neither I nor anyone else had to do or be anything other than what we wanted to be. *sigh* What happened?

*choking laugh* I remember once I signed onto AOL and found a new chat room called TV Men. I naively thought that TV stood for television *lol*. Boy was I wrong! Of course it stood for transvestite as one of the guys very nicely told me. I apologized for interrupting and left the room. *lol* No harm. No foul. I moved on to another room and laughed at my own naïveté.

No one called me names or put me on blast for being naïve or told me to drink bleach etc. Now, people are so touchy. I’d probably be followed to another room and called a bigot for not wanting to stay and talk to the TV Men. But really, talk about what? I’ve never been a man and *shrug* I don’t know that I’d have anything to contribute to their discussion so the thing to do would be to move on to another room.

*sigh* It is all becoming so complicated. You’ve got the language Nazis. *chuckle* I mean really folks, they’re, there, and their are all pronounced the exact same way and just about everyone who speaks and writes English gets them mixed up from time to time. But you would think that by doing so you will bring about the apocalypse the way some people carry on when you misuse them or any of the other words like them. Affect and effect. Bare and bear, fair and fare, its and it’s and so many more.

Then there are the spelling Nazis and the grammar Nazis, etc. It just goes on and on.

All I want to do is play and have fun. I thought I’d be able to do that on the internet forever. *sigh* But I’m getting the feeling that I won’t be. I keep running into uptight people. They are as tight on the internet as I am in real life. I have to be in real life but the virtual world is supposed to be my escape.

So where do I play, now? Where can I have fun? Where can I escape to?

Oh well…I’ll continue thinking next Sunday, I guess. My real life beckons me back.