Beware! Black men are on their periods this month.

So it is time for another internet hiatus. *chuckle*  Some ish has popped off online that all started on November 1.  I was over on OHN and some drama went down and now the owner is shutting down/selling his site.

*blink blink*

It all stemmed from a letter that was supposed to be from an anonymous reader to the Men’s Round Table.  Come to find out one of the men on the RT did it to put his girl on blast.  His girl is also part of the OHN community.  The RT dumped on her without knowing who they were dumping on.  Her friends came out to defend her.  Then she defended herself and then the bf outed himself and it all went downhill from there.

Then Beth took it upon herself to bring up our supposed to be secret ladies group and threw the bitches word out there.  A word I wear with pride when I need to but whatever.  Until I can ask for and receive what I ask for without being a bitch I don’t mind being called one. *shrug*  Fugs to give about that word equal zero.  However, the way she did it was uncalled for.  Then it came out that we STILL have a snitch among the women.  We think we've found her but we won’t know for sure unless more info of our goings on are leaked.  It has just been a mess for the past four days.  The snitch was feeding Beth word for word and Beth was calling Stan.  A BIG OLE MESS!

I posted in our supposed secret group that someone needs to let Stan know that he needs to check Beth if he is really trying to sell the site with its readership intact and then I dipped out.  Let the smoke clear and the dust settle.  Beth over on Twitter talking about she wants to punch someone. *smh*

I’m like wow!  And she keeps making references to our group as a cliche.  I’m like, yeah.  There are plenty of cliches on OHN.  You fall in with who you fit in with.  She wouldn't fit in with our group.  She use to be a nice person but I've noticed over the last year that she is turning mean and really bitter.  I’m attributing it to her son growing up and cutting those apron strings whether she wants them cut or not.

She’s in our cooking group and we were talking about what we were making for dinner one evening.  She made a comment that she hadn't been cooking much.  She said the last time she cooked her son didn't bother to come home.  I’m like, he’s 20 get use to that.  It maybe what is making her so mean this past year or it may be something totally unrelated that I know nothing about.  But truly it has been a mess.

I’m like, really people are this messed up because we got a secret group.  Everyone in the group ain’t even OHNawlers so again I didn’t see the big deal.  I’m part of two other secret groups and I don’t mention what goes on in those groups with the women and vice versa.

But now that I’m home with my feet up, I’ve had some time to put things into perspective.  Now I ain’t saying this is what is happening but it would make a lot more sense than what seems to be going on.  I was sitting here thinking what if the drama is being pumped up to up readership so that he can get a good price for his site?  If that is true, I ain’t even mad.  He has a young family and we are in a recession.  Black folks are always the hardest hit financially whenever the economy takes a downturn.  And we are the last to recover financially.  Though we spend more money. *smh*

So if that is what is up then my peacekeeping butt needs to have a seat.  If not then I need to lie down because this ish is completely uncalled for.  Because the drama over our little group has been ongoing for more than a minute.  This ain’t the first time Beth has said something about us.  Since she isn’t the topic most of the time her source(s) are lying azz lying to her. *smh*

It amazes me that adults can be so… petty about such a simple thing as a group of ladies who have things in common who have their own meeting place.  We ain’t the only OHNawlians with our own secret group.  Heck!  TDP got his own secret group.  He and I don’t get along so it phases me not that I am not invited to join.  That’s why I don’t understand why Beth has been so upset about the group.  When she talks about what happens between her and the OHNawlians she does get along with on gchat, text, etc nobody is mad.  That’s why I am so confused about this animosity toward our little group.

And I hope the chick(s) doing the flapping of the gums know what goes around truly does come back around.  We actually put our trust in each other to not spread around what goes on in there.  Not that we are doing anything that spectacular but we talk about personal stuff.  Fears, hopes, illnesses, family issues and the like.  We take turns buoying each other up.  And that is really awesome.  But the snitch(es) ought to be ashamed of themselves. 

Again, I’m a just chill and work on my book for NaNoWriMo.  I’m behind two days already.  I was just fine until Saturday and then I got lazy.  This is why I’m cutting this short so I can get back to work.

The drama don’t end there.  Me and TPL are on the outs but that is a post for another day.  Good thing I can play my zynga games on their website.

*tips water glass at monitor*

TG is at it again.

*sighingly smh*  So long story short, she called herself getting back at her ex ES and ended up getting got.  I don’t know why she doesn’t just pack it up and go home.  None of her jobs are working out for her and she has been in that city coming up on a year now.  I don’t believe she has either told her family that they have broken up or she hasn’t told them he played her.  Either way, I don’t believe she is being honest with the folk at home.  She doesn’t want to hear ‘I told you so’.  She needs to put on her big girl drawers, tell everyone to say it one time to get it out of their system, and take her butt home.

I get the feeling that this isn’t the first time that this has happened to her which is the real reason she is reluctant to fess up and go home.  Last night, she reached out to the group for some truth.  Chile, the last time we tried to give her truth she got mad and laid folk out saying we didn’t know her.  That is true.  If we were her real friends we’d know the truth of her story because it doesn’t add up.

See as a friend, I know that MB3 exaggerates her stories a bit.  Not much but a bit so I always know where to dial it back when she calls.  I know when she’s mad, sad, depressed, happy, jealous, etc by the tone of her emails and her voice.

See as a friend, I know that TPL is just that, a pathological liar.  He cannot help himself.  But his azz has issues that have been verified so I know to cut him some slack about some things and when to pull back and let his azz know I’m pissed and he owes me an apology.  And because I’m one of the few friends who put up with the madness and *smh* fun that is TPL I get one.

See as a friend, I know that my BFL takes some finessing when it comes to talking about her problems.  It takes time for her to work out her emotions.  I know when she just needs me to listen and when she needs advice.  I know when she has called to laugh and when she just needs to type out a bytch session.  She has a husband and doesn’t want him to know what she’s bytching about until she’s ready to say it calmly and rationally.  When it is just simple and petty stuff she leaves the bytch mode in the emails with me.  When it is something serious I hear about what happened afterwards.

See as a friend, I know that MCB has a lot on her plate and that sometimes she just needs to unload.  She needs love and encouragement and help to see the positive side when all she can see are the negatives.  I’ve truly had to shock her into the reality of how good her life truly is.  She is a lot better than when we first met.  Now she is just happily exhausted most days and frustrated with her career on others.  Those frustrated days I remind her that she only has one more child to get out of the nest and then she is free to go and do as she pleases.  Two more years and she’s free.  She’s thinking of coming back to Maryland.  *Happy Spice*

I could go on but I’m already over the thousand word recommended limit for blog posts. *snickers*  So I’ll just say this, I don’t understand why she still has pics of the ex up.  I’m betting neither do her “friends”.

I’ll tell you what I believe.  I believe she hasn’t told the folk at home that they are over.  I believe she slept with him in hopes that she was winning him back.  I believe she needs to go on home and leave this mess behind.  Or move to another state.  Something.  Because nothing is panning out for her down there except more hurt.

We have a no gossip rule in the group so I gotta gossip somewhere about this. *snickers*

She asks why does it keep happening to her.  The answer is simple but none of them want to know it.  Especially not from me.  Someone who is just sitting back observing it all.  I know exactly what is wrong with this generation because quiet as it is kept even the men are dissatisfied with the status quo.

But this ain’t my journey.  It is hers and everyone that is going through it.  I can listen when they are venting but until they stop and pay attention to what they are doing wrong…repeatedly…like lemmings going over a cliff, there ain’t shyt I can say.  They don’t believe anything that comes out of my mouth or fingertips.  Even though I am just as content in my universe.  And in a minute, I’m a have a man and a healthy relationship and they are truly going to be fugged in the head about it because there is no way in the world that I should have either.  At least according to all the unhappy souls out there telling the world how miserable I’m supposed to be. *eyerolls*

TG shut the group down last night. *smh*  I know those insomniacs were up.  It was Friday and people had already started posting music and getting their drinks out. *smh*  But when they were thinking of booting her a few weeks ago a lot of the core group said they’d leave if she was booted.  They think they are her friends. *side eyeing the whole notion*

A friend would be able to pick up the phone and call someone in her family and tell them what is really going on with her.  They say her home life isn’t ideal.  Is anyone’s?  If she ain’t running from mental, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse then she needs to take herself home to people who love her and want to help her.  If she is running from any of the above then the last thing she needs to be doing is dating.  The first thing she needs to do is get herself to a qualified mental health specialist.  I already told them that I don’t think we are qualified to give the kind of help she needs.  They don’t understand what I mean and I don’t know how else to tell them.

We vent and move on in our group quite a bit.  That’s life.  There’s always going to be something to vetch about.  Chances are there is someone in there who can commiserate.  TG comes in with Tyler Perry script worthy drama.  Seriously.  I haven’t gone into the half, just the highlights out of respect for our privacy rules.

Funny, I had reservations about admitting her to the group but all her “friends” said she’d be a good fit.  So I kept my mouth shut.  Damn my instincts are good even over the internet.

I’m about done with fb.  I say that because the only thing holding me to it was my women’s group and I see TG bringing an end to it.  Either she’s gonna get booted or get mad and leave on her own and her “friends” will leave with her.  It takes a long time for people to realize what friends are.  My momma told me that when I was a teen throwing that word around.  It made me start to reevaluate my relationships.

Then maybe the group’s leader will find good replacements for those that leave. *shrug*  Shame, this is a good group and we offer each other a lot in so many ways.  We just can’t help TG.  She needs a professional.

*tips juice glass at monitor and goes to make breakfast*

I guess someone's feelings were hurt

So, last night after I posted yesterday’s blog I got on fb to see what everyone was up to, play a few games, and check some music posts.  I go to my woman’s group and look what one of the ladies posted. *chuckle*  Yup, posted by one of the ladies I thought was a bit miffed with me. Oh well.  Can’t agree all the time.

I’m glad I saw it after I dumped my argument here.  Last night I looked at it, chuckled good-naturedly and thought, ditto, hon, ditto.  Your argument still makes zero sense.  The only thing I cannot and will not willing accept from a bi-sexual man is his penis and because of that I’m intolerant and prejudiced in your mind. *smh*  Nope.  I don’t believe it and I’m not taking the bait ever again…in my woman’s group. *chuckle*

Intolerance is when you don’t want someone as your neighbor, coworker, boss, grocery clerk, President, doctor, lawyer, Indian Chief *chuckle*, etc. because of something about them that they were born with and cannot change.

My sexual orientation is one of those things I was born with and cannot change according to those whose orientation is homosexual.  My sexual orientation is heterosexual.  I prefer a heterosexual mate.  It is imperative to my sanity and continued good health.

The funny part is that there were a couple women who chimed in that they were open to being with a man whose sexual orientation is bi-sexual.  So there are women out there that they can be honest with and they’ll still want to be with them.  They just don’t feel that they should give a woman a chance to reject them.  They just need to man up and accept that not every woman, even the woman they think is perfect for them, is going to want to be in a sexual relationship with them.  Just like every man whose sexual orientation is heterosexual has to accept it.

Good grief.  I’m fat and there are lots of men who are not interested in being in a relationship with me.  That is their preference and they have a right to it.  And *gasp* I accept that. I'd rather be in a relationship with someone who accepts me as I am than try to hide some parts of me that they may not like. Then flipping it around to make it the other person's fault that you're lying to them. People really?

*smh in wonder*  It is just so weird how things have flip flopped.  Once upon a time people tried to change people whose sexual orientation was anything but heterosexual.  Well, in some places they are still trying.  Still people have yelled, screamed, protested, passed laws to protect people whose sexual orientation is not heterosexual and now they have the right to be with who they want.  Now, I got someone telling me that I don’t have the right to be with who I want because that is not acceptance? *head scratch* Yeah.  Her argument makes zero sense.

Then as I thought about it I realized that people this invested in an argument usually have something or someone they are thinking of when they argue so vehemently.  I don’t know who the bi-sexual is in her life but I wish them both wellness and honesty in their sexual relationships.

There are stories I could tell about this mess happening on the down low.  I know TPL has a friend I use to call Baby Hairs.  I called this guy Baby Hairs because he is a flaming queen who always had his baby hairs slicked down around his face. *chuckling*  Seriously, I couldn’t make that up in my wildest dreams.  The first time I met him I could barely get myself together to say hello.  A grown man coming up on 30 years of age with baby hairs greased and slicked down around his face like a little girl was something I had never seen before or since.

So I’d get updates from TPL as well as from Baby Hairs himself on the few occasions we all went out together.  So one day over lunch TPL says Baby Hairs is back to dating women.  I burst out laughing thinking it was all a big joke.  Yeah.  Right.  I say.  He kept assuring me that it was true.

I was like to each their own then because I thought that was taking fag hagdom to a new level.  TPL said they don’t know he is gay.  He has changed himself up to look like a thug.  I couldn’t even begin to imagine it.  I laughed all through his explanations.  To be noted here, at this time Baby Hairs had been diagnosed as HIV+.

TPL figured he could show me better than he could tell me because I knew him to be TPL at that point.  Why did he show up with this now 30 something man looking and sounding like a regular 30 something straight man?  All signs of the queen of baby hairs gone!

So now I had questions!  Most importantly, does/do the woman/women he’s having sex with know he’s HIV+.  TPL said he didn’t know and from his manner he didn’t care.  Normally, I go in for telling the long story but I’d like to forget this mess one day so I won’t immortalize his whole story.  Just know that he was at one point trying to get a woman pregnant while infected with HIV.  He goes back and forth when he’s feeling the need to know he can still pull women.  Sometime around the time TPL’s daughter started dating this no longer became funny to him and for a time they stopped speaking until Baby Hairs went back to dating men exclusively.  Baby Hairs’ family knew about his back and forth ways but never said a word to the women who he dated.

To be noted, I don’t care who Baby Hairs was dating, he should have been being honest about his HIV+ status with everyone.  TPL never seemed to want to answer my questions about who knew his status and who didn’t.  From the things that slipped down through the years the men knew and whether the women knew or not was never answered.

Though one time he almost got as good as he was giving.  One day he called up the woman he was trying impregnate to let her know he was on his way over to her place.  She told him fine but that they couldn’t have sex as she was having an outbreak.  He asked what she was talking about.  She then reminded him that she had herpes.  She had told him when they were just friends and then he forgot by the time they got around to being sex partners.  So he dumped her and went back to men because the last thing he needed was herpes and HIV.

So, she told him what she had but he didn’t feel the need to disclose what he had.  Uh huh.  Then it all came out in a messy court case. *eye rolls*

Child, I got so much of Baby Hairs drama from TPL through the years that I had to give him a new nickname that I shall not repeat here. *chuckle*

At any rate, I think I’ll be scarce for a bit to give the ladies a chance to cool off. 

They are almost all younger than me and we’ve had different experiences.  I understand that they’ve had a lot more positive ones than negative.  I think I’ve had a lot more negative than positive.  So I look at things a lot differently because I’ve seen the underbelly (love that word) of a lot of relationships, heterosexual and homosexual.  It ain’t all roses and butterfly kisses.

Oh well.  I still got three other places to hang out on the net and *sighs* I got plenty of stuff to do around the house.

*looks at some projects that need finishing*

Angry white women

So yesterday seemed to be angry white women go around the internet and insult black women for no apparent reason day.  Or it may have just been the same white woman making the rounds of all the predominantly black websites.  I don’t particularly care.  I’m going to state the facts and why the fugg I was and am still pissed.

I was on OHN getting my laugh on when this white chick shows up out of nowhere with a backhand slap to black women on a post that had ZERO to do with insulting black women.  It was all a parody about black men.  I sat back and waited for someone to get her, like they jumped on the chick who stepped out and said black men ain’t shyt.  After several minutes when no one said a damn thing to defend our honor, I hopped over to fb and asked the ladies did they know this chick and when was someone going to get her azz.

Then me and the ladies headed back over to OHN and proceeded to put her azz in her place.  She did get called a bytch by one person one fugging time.  One, and only ONE, of the fellas tried to shut her azz down and out before she got too far but she kept typing so, as usual, we black women had to stand up for ourselves.  Only one man spoke up for black women’s honor and he only did so ONCE.

So yesterday evening the moderators called themselves addressing it by dressing down those who shut the chick up.  Because know she got shut the fugg up and no one threatened her life or told her to die or drink bleach.  She got a good old fashion dress down.  For which we got dressed down and I’ve been pissed and raw about it ever since.

So two years ago it was ok for the whole OHN community black, white, Hispanic, Asian, etc to come out on the chick who said black men ain’t ish and tell her all the ish I’ve mentioned before and above but it wasn’t ok for us black women, when it seemed only one of the men would speak up for us, to defend ourselves?  Bullsh$#!

So it was ok about 18 months ago for one of OHN’s stans to get into an altercation with an albino woman and quite a few OHNawlians to go in on her when she jumped in said stan’s azz?  That Twitter battle was epic.  That woman was so smart and awesome I started following her. LOL  She was having an argument with some of OHN’s best and holding her own.  In that instance they were wrong.  The OHN stan made an inappropriate comment about albinos and she let them know she took offense.  The stan instead of just dropping it started cussing her out.  And she dressed everyone of them down until she shut them down.

So that was ok?  Bullsh$#!

Now, on BA another white chick or maybe the same one, strolls over and turns a post that had not a thing to do with race into a race argument.  The post wasn’t one I was interested in so I missed most of the fireworks until I checked it at the end of my lunch and there were 113 comments.  I was like, let me go see what is going on.  This post shouldn’t have had more than 20-30 comments and it blew up.  After reading about 3 pages I saw what happened and that said white chick got her azz served on toast points as she should have.

Today, one of the ladies who participated in the down dressing posted an apology to Boss.  Boss was like for what?  That was mild compared to how bad we have been in the past.  Personally, I believe the chick had it coming.  It may even be her kink.  Masochists come in many different levels, from verbal to physical abuse.

I’m just at this point now where I see, black women always have to stand on our own and handle our own because black men will not do it for us.

OHN’s regluator said that we showed her just what she wanted to see.  My thought was: What?  That black men don’t value their black queens enough to shut anyone down who disrespects them?  Because that’s all I saw.

OHN’s regulator said next time just email one of them.  But see, they call themselves a community and that ain’t a community.  That’s grade school.  Ooooooh Miz Moderator, she said black girls ain’t shyt.  Then Miz Moderator smacks the tattletale for saying "shyt".

Nah, I’m 44 years old.  I ain’t perfect nor am I saying I’m right.  I’m just saying, nah.  That ain’t for me.

See, if you walk into my physical community and attack me verbally I am going to give as good as I get.  Period.  WTF do you look like calling the police because someone said you ain’t shyt?  The 911 operator will ask if the person threatened you with physical violence and when you say no then they’ll tell you there is nothing they can do.

Well there is something I can do.  I can tell you just what I think of your notions about black women.

A white woman can have THREE different semen stains in her panties.  Only one of the stains belongs to her boyfriend but it was the black pro-athlete that raped her.

A little black teenage girl can be found raped, beaten, covered in human excrement and cuts but she wasn’t raped?  I can say a lot of negative things about Rev Al Sharpton but to this day I got to respect him for standing by her then.  I recently saw an interview, he still stands by that young girl even though white people still want to say she wasn’t raped.  He’s the only black man so far who will do so publicly.

And black men wonder why they can’t get the fugg ahead.  You NEVER let anyone disrespect your queen just like I would never let anyone disrespect my king.  Until they learn that cardinal rule they more than likely won’t get the fugg anywhere either.

I noticed even the white guys kept their mouths shut during that confrontation.  They can say they weren’t there all they want to but I won’t believe it.

They keep trying to push us to the bottom and telling us to shut up but I won’t be quiet.

Cool, that is his site and his rules.  I got to respect that.  So maybe it is best I just keep my comments to myself and stay the hell off the site.  Because you know what?  If she or anyone else black, white, green, indigo or what the fugg ever said that ish today, tomorrow, or 100 years from now and I’m still alive reading on OHN or any other website I will still do and say the same damn things.

This song says it all.  If I live long enough to see black men pull their collective heads out of their crotches and do an about face and treat each and every black woman with the respect that a man shows his queen and some young un asks me why were black women so angry when I was young I’ll have a post to remind me.

*pushes play*