My fb women's group

So we were having a little discussion in my women’s group on fb. I love my women’s group.  I’m gonna miss them when fb finally puts the coup de grâce on folks and makes people leave en masse.

Anyway, I’m gonna use initials because anything else will just confuse me when I’m a senior citizen trying to read through my younger ramblings.  Every now and again I run across an old journal and spend a few hours chuckling at myself and what was oh so devastating back then.  So I know this blog should give me days of entertainment someday.

So the couple that I gave until spring before they broke up and they made it to February was the topic.  TG is the girl and ES is the guy.  It has now been revealed that he had been seeing another woman seriously since at least January. *pursed lip eye roll*

So TC one of our resident brilliant – and published – writers said that she had not been exposed to people who find a new relationship before ending the current one.

I responded quick as you please that I needed to move to where she is because I’ve seen it so much in the Delaware, Maryland, Virginia area for YEARS that I thought it was the norm.  She didn’t respond to me.  I think she thought I was being smart mouthed but I wasn’t.

It is Sunday chore day and it got me to thinking about all the people who have done this, gone through the drama that A.L.W.A.Y.S. accompanies breaking up with one person after you’ve hooked another person and then lived to repeat the pattern and of course drama.

Now, I’ve never done it because I’ve seen the aftermath.  Think arrest, cavity searches and court cases.  Seriously.  It ain’t for me.

But whenever I’m approached by a guy and they ask my relationship situation, I respond single.  The next question is almost invariably: Do you have a friend with benefits.  No. I do not.  That’s when I get people telling me I’m lying.  Once I convince them I’m not lying then they look at me like I got 3 heads.

*head scratch*  Somewhere in the last 20 years people have decided that they can’t live without sex with another person or they will die.  I’m here to tell you today that you can survive an extended period of time without having sex with another human being.  Seriously.  You will not melt, die, go insane, become a homicidal maniac, commit suicide, rape animals, spontaneously combust, etc.

If anything, abstinence – once you get over the hornies and they are a devil – calms you.  You think before you leap.  Rational thought seems to be severely lacking nowadays.  Maybe all the sex people are getting and constantly seeking is the reason.

Something to think about.

See, I was a tomboy by happenstance.  My mother was very protective of her girl-child as a parent should be.  A parent should be very protective of every child.  Not to stop them from running, jumping, playing and such. No.  She never stopped me from doing that unless it was in the house. *chuckle*  But she protected me from the monsters out there.  The monsters in smiling adult faces who seek to destroy childhood innocence.  I blogged a bit about them in my men are nasty post.  I’ve since learned from men that men and women can be just as nasty to little boys.  It is a dangerous world out there folks.  Get off the cell phone and keep an eye on your children.  You can talk to them until you and they are blue in the face and they won’t understand until it is too late.  Think about when you taught them the stove is hot and not to be played with.  It wasn’t until they touched it and it hurt that they understood.  Same thing with stranger danger.

So anyway, we lived on Park Heights Avenue when I was between 18 months and 10 years old.  My mother did not allow me to cross the street.  Unfortunately, that’s where the little girls my age lived.  Across the street.

I wasn’t allowed to go but 3 houses away.  The only kids in that radius my age were boys.  So I became a tomboy outside and a girl in the house.  I was all dolls and such when I was playing in the house.  I was playing football, not touch or tag football but FOOTBALL, outside with the boys.  And these boys did not care that I was a girl.  I got sacked just like the guys and I wasn’t allowed to cry about it otherwise they just wouldn’t play with me anymore that day. 

No bullying or teasing, just you go sit down since you are hurt. 

SN: how did my generation raise such mean spirited and evil kids that they would goad other children into committing school shootings, suicide and such?  I think it is when people decided they didn’t need God in their lives that it happened.  When you don’t believe in consequences, Heaven, Hell or that God is watching and keeping score then you are free to do whatever pops into your head to do.  My blog.  My opinion.

So my point is that with all the time I spent in my formative years with guys it has always been easy for me to socialize with them.  Most of my friends’ men love me and I’m one of the few friends of their women they are always glad to see.  If your man doesn’t like me it is because he is not a good guy and he knows that I know it.  He also knows I know how to get rid of him.  It is such an odd thing, I can look a guy in the eye and know immediately.  We both know immediately that we ain’t gonna like each other.  It is always such an odd feeling, too.

Thanks AC., B., B., and B.  My years with y’all scrounging in the mud, climbing trees – yes there are trees in the city worth climbing – walking rooftops, jumping off garages, etc somehow helped me be a better judge of male character.

When I got to college all I dressed in was jeans, tees, and a ponytail.  Only time I was in a dress was for different Greek organization balls or when I ran out of laundry money.  Then I pulled out all the stops to remind the guys I was all girl. *chuckling remembering the results*

But I melded right in with a group of guys and those guys tried me, too.  I was attracted to a few in the group I hung out with.  Until I spent some time with them getting to know them.  The mask they show to girls gone and the real guy exposed.  Yeah.  I liked hanging with them but I wouldn’t have wanted not a one of them as my boyfriend.  A few were dating friends of mine and as long as they treated them right then I didn’t bust on them.

After a few of them tried to turn me into a friend with benefits and failed they assumed I was gay. *smirk*  I busted some egos when they found out I wasn’t.  *uncaring shrug*

But I sat there and listened to how they ran game.  How they slipped and slid around the rules they have in place for their women but didn’t necessarily follow themselves.

Like I said, men are nasty.  At the core of quite a few of them back in the day was crud.  Those crudballs have raised a whole new generation of crudball men and they are winning.  Most women don’t know their guy is a crudball until it is too late.

Like the little gremlin that is at the root of TG’s heartbreak.  Back in the day there was a guy on campus who he reminds me of in the looks department and he got zero women.  Now women are fighting over these little gremlins? *snort, gag, choke, guffaw*

I got to respect his skills even if I don’t respect his game play.  He will get his and I wouldn’t want to be standing next to him when he does.  That kind of stuff has the tendency to spill over onto whoever is with him.

Straight up, if your life ain’t going right and you KNOW you ain’t done anything that would make God mad, karma get in your butt, or what goes around come around to see you, then take a look at who you are hanging with and what they are doing.  More than likely they’re comeuppance is spilling over onto you.  Leave them alone immediately.

That ain’t 100% true all the time but it is always worth a check.

His game: it was revealed by TG that last year he was cheating on his girl with her.  The previous girl tried to warn her.  That leads me to believe that he did that with his previous girlfriend and that this is how he operates.  He sells women on love – no no # 1 in the player’s handbook – and then takes advantage of them until he finds his next mark.  There is a new one every year.  Last year was TG’s year.  This year it is some new chick.

This little gremlin mofo got TG to move from the top of the USA – I forget which state – to Georgia to be with him so that they could marry and start a life together after he graduated last year.  She just needed to foot the bills until he did.

This little gremilin mofo ain’t graduated yet and has moved onto a new girl.

Now, what leads me to believe we all might end up Dateline’s one black crime story of the year is the following:

TG refuses to let this ish go and accept that how she got him is how she lost him.  She keeps emailing his frat brother who assures her he is giving ES a hard way to go. *eye roll*  Meanwhile, ES has unfriended everyone BUT her dog.  So she is spying on his FB page through the dog’s page. *slow blink*

First off, your dog shouldn’t have a fb page unless it is a show dog or performer or you breed dogs. Period.  Anything else and you need to go outside and make some real life friends.

Second, her friends aren’t being friends.  First they told her that ES would not cheat on her when he wanted to go sleep over at another girl’s house. Still snickering about that mind you.  Then they aren’t being real with her.  They keep saying she just needs love and to vent.  No.  She needs to accept that this is her comeuppance for how she got him last year.  Accept that he is pond scum.  Accept that he is not going to put back on his nice guy façade and come back to her.  And accept that his frat brother is reading her emails and laughing at her more than likely with ES.

I find it real convenient that ES has unfriended everyone but the dog.  Come on now, she and the dog have the same last name and the dog’s pic is in his avi.  Then all his fb posts are about how wonderful his life is.  She believes he is lying because of the lies that his frat brother is telling her.

Let me tell you what I believe is going on.  The frat brother is trying to keep things smooth between the frat and their sister organization.  TG is pledging the sister organization and I think that is a HUGE mistake right now.  This is something she needs to put off at least a year until she has some distance between the break up and its aftermath.  She is 33 years old.  If she didn’t do it in undergrad and ain’t done it in all the years since, waiting a year won’t hurt her any.  Why the same chapter he and his new boo are in?  Yeah.  This is a bad idea all the way around and true friends would have told her so and convinced her otherwise.

And despite what she thinks, unless the frat brother is gay, he wants to screw her.

Every email he gets is another joke between the brothers.

Frat brother: Man! ES! You must have put it DOWN on this chick! *laugh laugh laugh* She is still emailing me tripping!

ES: What can I say, frat? What can I say?  Thanks for handling her for me.  Last thing we need is the hens in the sister organization to be all riled up.  I owe you.

Frat brother: You mind if I tap that when I get a chance?

ES: Naw man! Do you but you see how crazy she is. *laugh laugh laugh*

Frat brother: Crazy puzzi is the best man! *laugh laugh laugh*

ES: Well let me hip you to something dude…

The rest of that convo of what ES would share is confidential and was shared in the group and I don’t feel right sharing it here even though I ain’t naming names.  Just know ES is telling all her sordid little secrets.

She’s stalking him through the dog’s fb page, emailing the frat every other day, pledging the same chapter as him and his new boo, refuses to hear anyone saying anything disparaging against him, and she still believes he is a good guy, he’s just confused.

Yeah.  Right.  Uh huh.

I believe she is two steps away from killing her own dog, hanging the dog on his momma’s front door, and writing in the dog’s blood: You forgot to unfriend me, ES!!!!

It has been three weeks and she has not begun to move on.  People are trying to sugar coat this for her when she needs someone to wake her up.  Now!  Before I need a lawyer to tell the press: Ms Flake has no comment at the moment.  Her heart goes out to the families involved.

I’m sure the guys on OHN think it is amusing, too.  ES and TG met there.  I’m sure just like the OHNawlettes know what is going on, so do the OHNellows.  There was even a post regarding guys playing girls and how the poster didn’t think the guys should be taken to task for something we women allow to happen to us.  That is BS but that is a post for another day.

TG said the post made her feel some kind a way about it because she is in that situation now.  Yeah.  Not cute fellas.  If this mess gets messier and ends up a court case they will not find it funny when the FBI is crawling through OHN’s archives, pulling up fb chats and convos, skype transcripts, etc.

Makes me glad she doesn’t like me.  We don’t’ have more than a handful of convos and we are usually on opposing sides.  Ms. Flake ain’t got anything to comment on.  Thank you, Lord!

Add to the fact that most of the folk who met on OHN are engaged or have gotten married and she ended up with one of the duds.  Now tell me she doesn’t have a lot on her plate to make her not just a little crazy but a lot crazy.

Yeah, one of her friends needs to have a confidential offline chat with her.  They need to catch a plane, get in a car, reach her by caravan or something before this turns into a Fatal Attraction.  They may not think it is that serious but then I bet Amy Fisher’s family didn’t think it was serious either.  How about the female astronaut driving in a diaper to kill the wife of the guy she wanted?  Women can be just as crazy as men.  It doesn’t take much to push someone over the edge.  We have not walked with TG her whole life.  We don’t know what other things are swirling around in her head.  We don’t know if or how many times she’s been here before.

What I do know is that at the 3 week mark she should not still be emailing his frat brother, she should not be pledging the same chapter as her fresh ex and his new boo, and she should definitely not be stalking him through the dog’s fb page.

Did I mention she was one of the women who came out after me when I spoke to her avatar boyfriend one too many times on OHN?  Yeah.  One of her friends better get her and soon.

*goes to practice saying “No comment” in the mirror*

They are making me come out of retirement.

Have mercy! These children. That’s all I can call them is children. I am watching the unraveling of womankind and it is ugly.

I am watching the ladies get played left and right and it is an awful sight to see. I give advice that is requested and then ignored. I am guessing because others believe that a fat, buck and gap toothed, black woman with glasses is single because she has no choice.

Poor things just don’t know. I am so much more than the above description. I am single by my choice. Period. *sighs* But I guess I am going to have to come out of retirement to show them how it is supposed to be done.

Who are “them”? Well there’s coworker # 1 whose husband put her out of the section 8 house they were sharing with his sister. He did this after she bought him a car. *smh* And she has the nerve to shake her head at me. She still wants this fool back even though he’s into white girls now. She is now following the teaching of Rev Jamal Bryant, philanderer extraordinaire. His fame comes from the fact that he threatened to kill his mistress when she filed papers to take him to child support court. This ninja is driving around in a $400k+ car and don’t want to pay child support. He makes my teeth itch.

Another “them” is coworker #2 who has been carrying a torch for her daughter’s father for 19 years. He is the only man she has slept with for 19 years. Though she ain’t the only woman he’s been sleeping with. She’s finally gotten him out of her system but the cost…the cost. *sadly smh*

Another “them” is this woman in my FB woman’s group. Her young man is playing her dirty. Real dirty. First he doesn’t like how she gets her orgasm. *blinkity blinkity blink blink* She just let it slide. Had it been me the story would have gone a little something like this. I would have either called in sick to work or scheduled a day off or waited until the weekend but I would have had a me day. She’s 33. At 33 I was having some financial difficulties so my me time would have been a leisurely breakfast at home, sans simple azz boyfriend. Then I would have gone window shopping to clear my mind. Then lunch at McDs, a Happy Meal. Seriously, some of those toys are cool. Judge me all you want but play time is just as important for adults as it is for children. *shruggingly rolls eyes* Then either a matinee movie or go to a park and just sit and think which option to choose from:

a) Move out and start dating again.

b) Move back home and start dating again.

c) Move to a different city and start dating again.

Forget him. There are men out there wishing they could make their woman orgasm that hard. They are trying everything and driving their women crazy, not in a good way either, trying to get her to reach the level of sexual satisfaction that this woman can reach when done right. Just so they can walk around beating their chests like Tarzan. *lol* And this young man is not only not pumped at what he can do but turned off by it? Yeah. I got to go. An orgasm is an awesome thing. If my man doesn’t like how I get mine then we can’t be lovers and that is fine. Everything ain’t for everyone. I would need to find me a man that was for me.

He’s done a couple more things since then that just make me smh and wonder why in the world she stays. She is just as velvety chocolaty pretty as she can be. Finding a new man should not be a problem as long as she is secure in herself. If she isn’t then she needs to ditch that zero and work on herself.

Coworker # 1 got on my last nerve this week and I took a FB break yesterday. I did an energy cleanse and did something special for myself today that brought my positive energy back up. I sign on to FB this evening and go to my women’s group to cut up and laugh.

FB is the devil.

The first story up is his latest offense and I had to laugh and log back off. This ninja has planned a sleep over at a friend’s house for Friday. The “friend” (read sex buddy) is a young woman and his girlfriend isn’t invited. *giggling my head off*

We are grownups. Male and female heterosexual adults do not do sleepovers unless someone is having sex. Some of the women in the group are assuring her there is nothing to worry about even though he is wrong in his assumption that it is ok.

Um, no, um, he is going to have sex with his “friend” and it is ok because he has decided that it is ok. Period. She even, for some strange reason, tried to flip it on him and asked him how he would feel if she slept over at a male friend’s place. He said he’d be fine with it.

I swear there should have been horns growing out of my head when I read that. *snickering*

23 year old me would have punched him in his throat.

33 year old me would have said, “Oh. Ok.” And there wouldn’t have been any other conversation on the matter. However, whenever he deigned to return to our residence this weekend he would find me walking around in a man’s shirt and cute panties that he’s never seen and two men that he’s never met would be walking around in whatever they felt comfortable walking around in. I would be glowing! I’m betting he would have come home Saturday morning because I wouldn’t have called him the whole time he would be gone nor would I be answering his calls. Suspicious, he’d a brought his butt home. He would have walked in the place and seen two dudes and his soon to be ex chilling. I’d look up and ask him does he want my friend to make him some pancakes. Then I’d watch him have a conniption fit and I’d have the other guy call 911 for him.

*gets up to do the Cabbage Patch and sing How ya like me now?*

43 year old me would have been gone when he had a problem with how I get my orgasm. An orgasm is a wonderful thing. And there ain’t a man alive worth skipping them. Ask a heterosexual man, any one of them, if there is a woman alive that would make him skip getting his orgasm his way.

There is something very important she is missing and I don't know how she missed it.  When a man claims a woman as his own he does not believe it is ok for her to have male friends sleepover nor for her to sleepover at a male friend's place.  I speak from experience. *lol*  And me and this dude were truly platonic, never shared a kiss.  However, platonic friend is/was friends with an ex.  When the guy I was seeing then claimed me as his woman, all that sleeping over at A's house had to stop.  He showed me the same respect.  This dude she is rooming with ain't claimed her or he has relinquished claim to her.  Poor thing doesn't seem to know it either.
Then there are a couple women in the group having self-esteem issues.

Then there are the children on BA that make me wish it was legal to slap someone when they are being stupid.

So, this fat, gap and buck toothed, four eyed, black woman is going to come out of retirement to show them how it is done.

Y’all heffas get on my nerves for making me eat right, exercise and do ish that I wouldn’t have to do if only you’d listen to me. You all have got the game all the way messed up.

*sucks teeth and goes to comptemplate things beyond most of these children's understanding*

Men are nasty.

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Doctor shot at Bmore area hospital

So yesterday the local media and law enforcement were all busy with a gunman over at JHH. I use to work over there and still have friends who work there so of course I was concerned.  I immediately sent out emails and texts checking on everyone.

BUT...

When I first heard that a JHH doctor had been shot in the Nelson building I immediately thought of this bastid that I once had the misfortune to work with. My thought: Somebody finally got sick of your shyt and shot your evil azz.

*titter*

I know. That wasn't a nice thought at all.  Then he isn't a very nice person. Only people like him bring out thoughts like that in me.  Then when I heard that the doctor's specialty was ortho I realized it wasn't the same bastid at all.

See this is what had happened...

Back when I was young and full of piss and vinegar as well as living at home so I could afford to piss off superiors, I worked as a patient registrar in one of the outpatient clinics.

One fine day I was in the middle of checking a patient out.  The patient had just handed me their copay, cash mind you, when said Dr. Bastid walked up to my cubicle with a group of residents on his heels.  He totally ignored the patient at my desk and dropped a chart on my desk and said: Copy this!

I had the cash in my hand and just looked up at him like he had lost his mind.  He stood silently glaring down at me.  Before I could say anything the coworker beside me said that she would finish checking my patient out.

I thanked her.  I apologized to the patient and handed the patient their cash back. The patient threw him an evil look or two but they got up and went to the next desk.

Without a word, I picked up the chart, walked into the records room where the copiers were and proceeded to have a lovely 15 minute chat with the records girl. *snicker*

So at the 15 minute mark one of the other women working in patient check out came running in asking where are Dr. Bastid's copies.  I said, I'll make them...when I get ready.

She gets all nervous.  She starts telling me that I can't do that to him. Blah blah blah blah.  I stood patiently while she explained.  When she was done I asked her a few questions.

1) Did he get promoted to dept chair?  Her answer: No.
2) Is he now second in command after the dept chair? Her answer: No.
3) In the event that the chair and his second in command are away is he next in command? Her answer: No.
4) Is he connected in some way? Her answer: No.

Our dept chair makes his own copies (this man has a physical disability) when in the clinic. He is/was a very nice doctor. The second in comman makes his own copies, another nice doctor, when in clinic.  What makes Dr. Bastid so special?  Her answer: Silence.

I'll make the copies when I'm ready.  She goes back out to patient check out.  The records girl is now nervous and won't talk anymore so I turn to the task of making his 1 copy.

I put the copy in the chart.  Walk out to patient checkout where he is still standing now red in the face with his residents.  I drop the chart on the desk the way he did to me.  I picked up a new patient chart and called the patient's name so that I could check them out.  He snatches up the chart and walks away in a huff without another word.

*chuckle*

He never did that mess to me again or had me do anything else for him either.  He did, however, continue to treat the rest of the staff like shyt.  Every time we would pass each other in the halls we would roll our eyes at each other. *smh*

All he had to do was ask nicely and I would have done it. Lincoln, whether he wanted to or not, freed the slaves.  Dr. Bastid should have paid better attention in history class.

Anyways, the doc will recover and the gunman killed himself and his mother. Apparently, he was angry that the surgery his 84 year old mother had just had was not successful and she would not walk again. *smh*  She was 84.  She got to walk! There are people in this world who have never walked at all! *smh* I don't get it. I guess I never will.  I hope not.  I never want to feel that intitled to anything in this life.

Kinda like Dr. Bastid. He thought he was intitled to treat people like shyt.

*sits back and sips mango margarita*