They are making me come out of retirement.

Have mercy! These children. That’s all I can call them is children. I am watching the unraveling of womankind and it is ugly.

I am watching the ladies get played left and right and it is an awful sight to see. I give advice that is requested and then ignored. I am guessing because others believe that a fat, buck and gap toothed, black woman with glasses is single because she has no choice.

Poor things just don’t know. I am so much more than the above description. I am single by my choice. Period. *sighs* But I guess I am going to have to come out of retirement to show them how it is supposed to be done.

Who are “them”? Well there’s coworker # 1 whose husband put her out of the section 8 house they were sharing with his sister. He did this after she bought him a car. *smh* And she has the nerve to shake her head at me. She still wants this fool back even though he’s into white girls now. She is now following the teaching of Rev Jamal Bryant, philanderer extraordinaire. His fame comes from the fact that he threatened to kill his mistress when she filed papers to take him to child support court. This ninja is driving around in a $400k+ car and don’t want to pay child support. He makes my teeth itch.

Another “them” is coworker #2 who has been carrying a torch for her daughter’s father for 19 years. He is the only man she has slept with for 19 years. Though she ain’t the only woman he’s been sleeping with. She’s finally gotten him out of her system but the cost…the cost. *sadly smh*

Another “them” is this woman in my FB woman’s group. Her young man is playing her dirty. Real dirty. First he doesn’t like how she gets her orgasm. *blinkity blinkity blink blink* She just let it slide. Had it been me the story would have gone a little something like this. I would have either called in sick to work or scheduled a day off or waited until the weekend but I would have had a me day. She’s 33. At 33 I was having some financial difficulties so my me time would have been a leisurely breakfast at home, sans simple azz boyfriend. Then I would have gone window shopping to clear my mind. Then lunch at McDs, a Happy Meal. Seriously, some of those toys are cool. Judge me all you want but play time is just as important for adults as it is for children. *shruggingly rolls eyes* Then either a matinee movie or go to a park and just sit and think which option to choose from:

a) Move out and start dating again.

b) Move back home and start dating again.

c) Move to a different city and start dating again.

Forget him. There are men out there wishing they could make their woman orgasm that hard. They are trying everything and driving their women crazy, not in a good way either, trying to get her to reach the level of sexual satisfaction that this woman can reach when done right. Just so they can walk around beating their chests like Tarzan. *lol* And this young man is not only not pumped at what he can do but turned off by it? Yeah. I got to go. An orgasm is an awesome thing. If my man doesn’t like how I get mine then we can’t be lovers and that is fine. Everything ain’t for everyone. I would need to find me a man that was for me.

He’s done a couple more things since then that just make me smh and wonder why in the world she stays. She is just as velvety chocolaty pretty as she can be. Finding a new man should not be a problem as long as she is secure in herself. If she isn’t then she needs to ditch that zero and work on herself.

Coworker # 1 got on my last nerve this week and I took a FB break yesterday. I did an energy cleanse and did something special for myself today that brought my positive energy back up. I sign on to FB this evening and go to my women’s group to cut up and laugh.

FB is the devil.

The first story up is his latest offense and I had to laugh and log back off. This ninja has planned a sleep over at a friend’s house for Friday. The “friend” (read sex buddy) is a young woman and his girlfriend isn’t invited. *giggling my head off*

We are grownups. Male and female heterosexual adults do not do sleepovers unless someone is having sex. Some of the women in the group are assuring her there is nothing to worry about even though he is wrong in his assumption that it is ok.

Um, no, um, he is going to have sex with his “friend” and it is ok because he has decided that it is ok. Period. She even, for some strange reason, tried to flip it on him and asked him how he would feel if she slept over at a male friend’s place. He said he’d be fine with it.

I swear there should have been horns growing out of my head when I read that. *snickering*

23 year old me would have punched him in his throat.

33 year old me would have said, “Oh. Ok.” And there wouldn’t have been any other conversation on the matter. However, whenever he deigned to return to our residence this weekend he would find me walking around in a man’s shirt and cute panties that he’s never seen and two men that he’s never met would be walking around in whatever they felt comfortable walking around in. I would be glowing! I’m betting he would have come home Saturday morning because I wouldn’t have called him the whole time he would be gone nor would I be answering his calls. Suspicious, he’d a brought his butt home. He would have walked in the place and seen two dudes and his soon to be ex chilling. I’d look up and ask him does he want my friend to make him some pancakes. Then I’d watch him have a conniption fit and I’d have the other guy call 911 for him.

*gets up to do the Cabbage Patch and sing How ya like me now?*

43 year old me would have been gone when he had a problem with how I get my orgasm. An orgasm is a wonderful thing. And there ain’t a man alive worth skipping them. Ask a heterosexual man, any one of them, if there is a woman alive that would make him skip getting his orgasm his way.

There is something very important she is missing and I don't know how she missed it.  When a man claims a woman as his own he does not believe it is ok for her to have male friends sleepover nor for her to sleepover at a male friend's place.  I speak from experience. *lol*  And me and this dude were truly platonic, never shared a kiss.  However, platonic friend is/was friends with an ex.  When the guy I was seeing then claimed me as his woman, all that sleeping over at A's house had to stop.  He showed me the same respect.  This dude she is rooming with ain't claimed her or he has relinquished claim to her.  Poor thing doesn't seem to know it either.
Then there are a couple women in the group having self-esteem issues.

Then there are the children on BA that make me wish it was legal to slap someone when they are being stupid.

So, this fat, gap and buck toothed, four eyed, black woman is going to come out of retirement to show them how it is done.

Y’all heffas get on my nerves for making me eat right, exercise and do ish that I wouldn’t have to do if only you’d listen to me. You all have got the game all the way messed up.

*sucks teeth and goes to comptemplate things beyond most of these children's understanding*