Why are they trying me?

*pissed face*

I have been doing so well.  I really have.  I’ve been positive and upbeat.  Things have been going so well for me lately that I have just been feeling so blessed.  The stress has just been missing me left and right.  Today *pauses and looks Heavenward* the devil pulled out all the stops.  He won this round but the war ain’t over.

So I cannot remember whether or not I blogged about my last time eating something one of my coworkers cooked.  It was a few years ago and I did not have a good weekend because of it.  They didn’t kill me then but I swear they keep trying. *nervous chuckle* At least that is what my friends tell me every time I mention that they are having another potluck.

I have taken vacation days to avoid the potlucks.  I have scheduled doctor’s appointments and meetings.  Heck I’ve said I had a meeting and just went and hid out in an empty conference room.

I think I’ve done well in avoiding their cooking.  That is until today.  This time they did a sneak attack.

We celebrate birthdays on the job.  Whoever had the last birthday gets the birthday goodies for the next person.  We have people who like cake or pie or cupcakes, etc.  Whatever the birthday guy or girl would prefer.  Just about everyone bought their offerings at a store or bakery.

But. Not. Today.

Today the coworker hosting the birthday recipient decided she would cook lunch for our team.  They announced it first thing this morning via email telling everyone not to each lunch.  This woman is a very nice woman.  HOW FUGGING EVER!  She has had a cough for YEARS that her doctor can neither diagnose nor cure.  Why the fugg does she think I want her cooking for me?

So I took my medicine about 5 minutes before going into this impromptu luncheon.  I politely explain that the meds I take prevent me from eating for almost an hour.  Everyone nodded and said that’s a shame.  Everyone but CCW2.  This bish gonna ask me what medicine I take.  This bish ain’t a doctor!  And it wasn’t her business.  She was trying to bust on someone!  I told her I couldn’t remember and would have to check the bottle.  Why the fugg do people think it is their business to show people up?  I did the nice polite thing.  What I could have done was the following:

Bish, I ain’t eating from not nan one of y’all.  I have seen two of y’all bishes come out of the bathroom without washing your hands.  One of you trifling bishes had the nerve to stand beside me and PRETEND to wash your hands.  The only reason I caught it was that someone spoke to me as they entered the bathroom.  When I looked up from washing my hands to see who spoke that’s when I caught your nasty azz wiggling your dry azz fingers at the water.  Standing there with this little smirk on your face too!  Then your nasty azz turns off the water with your nasty hands and grabs a paper towel.  The dry towel barely makes it into the trash.  Dry paper don’t fly people.  You just wadded up good before you tossed it.  Then grabbed the handle and walked out the bathroom.  Who would have thought that someone who acts so prissy could be so nasty.  I was in shock when I saw it.

*turn to another coworker*  Then there is your azz!  I saw you run your hands through the water once to the left and then once to the right and turned off the water.  No.  Soap.  Was.  Used.

*look around the room hoping someone will look guilty* Then there is the chick I am trying to catch who uses the bathroom and then exits the bathroom without washing her hands.  I don’t know if it is one or a few of y’all.  I wouldn’t be surprised if there was more than one.  One day someone was in there having the wettest, nastiest sounding BM.  Bish walked out of the bathroom without washing her hands.  OH!  How I wish I could have gotten out of my stall a half a second quicker.  Nasty bish!

*turn and point at another coworker*  Then there is this bish here who scratches her crotch constantly.  CCW2 you keep on eating the food she brings in.  CCW2 your azz stays sick.  Makes you wonder.  Oh and CCW2 you are another one that can’t cook for me the way you stay sick.

That’s just y’all women.

I can’t speak for what goes on in the men’s room but dude in the scarf your hygiene is questionable and you’ve been sick for at least six months.  All last summer you walked around the office with a wool scarf wrapped around your neck.  Our AC ain’t that chilly.  Believe that!  All through the fall and winter you’ve been sniffling.  I thought it was drugs but hey who knows?

Side note: Mr. Wool Scarf cooked this fish dish that everyone insisted I had to try.  So said I had to go to a “meeting”.  *pursed lipped eye roll*  I ain’t got time for tape worms.

CCW2 you got one more time to organize one more gatdamn potluck!  Stop asking these nasty azz people to cook!  Stop cooking and bringing me ish!  ALL THAT SHYT GOES IN THE TRASH WHEN Y’ALL AIN’T LOOKING!!!!!

Not to mention that we are in the middle of cold and flu season.  AGAIN, why the fugg are you trying to organize another potluck that I am not participating in?

Yeah.  That’s what I could have said.  But I didn’t.  I just kept it nice and polite.  She need a fugging hobby, dack or something to keep her mind occupied.  I don’t trust this bish not to be planning to knock off the whole office.

I don’t know what to expect from a bish that patronizes places her daughter wouldn’t be allowed into.  Oh.  CCW2’s daughter is half black.  She remarked about a place she hangs out at that doesn’t allow blacks in 2013.  Her daughter can’t go there unless she is accompanied by her.  *crickets*  Yeah.  But she loves fugging black men.  But she goes places where a black man wouldn’t be allowed.  When someone figures that shyt out put it in a research paper and maybe I’ll read it.  I don’t want shyt from this bish who says she’s a Christian.  Some of these “Christians” gonna have a whole lot of explaining to do.  I hope they got recliners and popcorn in Heaven because I’m gonna be sitting back watching the back peddlers enjoying the show and watching the Lord make them sweat.

I am praying and meditating.  I’m trying to decide if it is time to kick it into bish mode cuz they are trying my patience with this cooking ish!  I should have done what CCW1 did and ate lunch early and showed up at the end.

*stank face while I contemplate what I'm supposed to learn from this*

I'm trying to believe this woman is trying to help me but...

So it is Friday morning and I am trying to clean up some things on my desk. We are trying to get a document out the door to a client. There is a portion that has to come from our controller's office and our contact just ain't cooperating with us. We've been trying to get this document out the door since JANUARY!!!!

So the client drops us all another email first thing this morning and I email my boss and one of the other managers that perhaps it is time to kick it up to the guy's supervisor. So neither of those two answer. I made the mistake, I now see, of including my coworker on the email.

I don't know why but that sends her into scurry mode. She starts scurrying around pulling all these documents from other places trying to make the document up HERSELF. Ok.  Now neither my boss or the other manager have even responded to my email yet. I end up spending the next hour proofing shyt she is pulling together.

Finally, I see my boss go by and I call her into the fray of this mess. Do you know what my coworker does after pulling all these files and dumping them on my desk?  She scurries back to her office talking about "Oh let me get out of here. I don't want to be involved."

It took everything in my power to keep my professionalism on lock. So my boss rightly questions, as she still hasn't answered my email, did we just give up on getting the document from the other department? I said well {insert coworker's name} has. *imagine sounds of woman across the hall going: "Oh no no, keep me out of it" while me and the boss are talking*  Did you read my email?  My boss said yes and that she was going to call and talk to him before moving up to his supervisor.

So I spent my morning running down numbers for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I know she means well. I do. I know she means well but dear dear dear sweet Lord ... can she grow a bit of a backbone? Can she stop being so much of a worry wort? I just need her to dial it back one notch! Just ONE!

Then after all that she went back to her office and just yelled a few things she thought I should know because it is going to come back to you (me), you know? And she is probably right on that. But at the same time everyone knows what is going on. This didn't start with me. The goes back before I even got the account and you know who was handling it before me? My boss. So yeah. I go? We go.

I just needed to vent this. Now, I'm going to go have a cocktail. *salutes screen with empty highball glass*

CCW1

*twisting lips around* I'm not particularly peeved, or angry, or mad. I'm not curious but it is in my spirit and I wish to purge it. So, here I shall.

So Friday the Megamillions jackpot went up to $640 million. On Thursday a group of us at work got together to buy tickets. We were each going to put in $5.  We sent out an email. 11 people answered. 10 had their money and one did not. CCW1 didn't have her money. So I mention it to another person and wonder should we just wait until Friday. She volunteered to put in for CCW1. I let CCW1 know. She replies, Well, I actually need $10. I owe so-and-so $5 and was going to put in $5 for them. Ok, I looked at her like she was crazy. I wasn't going back to ask that woman to put in an extra $5 to cover CCW1's debt. Especially since the word around the office is that she borrows and then doesn't pay it back.

Look it, I broke down and got a car. Gas is now $4/gal. $10 is 2.5 gals of gas. She done bumped her head if she think I'm throwing away gas money on her and she has an able bodied man at home. All I got is me. Yeah, I'm careful with my dollars.

So Friday all these extra people pop up wanting to join in. So fine we say we'll buy more tickets. CCW1 has her money now and she comes in and instead of handing it to me she threw it at me, saying Since you couldn't wait for me yesterday but you can wait for these other people. I started to tell her something but it could only have been God that kept my mouth shut. I didn't say anything but just looked at her. She soon left my office.

Cuz what I wanted to tell her is:

1) Chick it is all over the office that you borrow money and don't return it. I wasn't about to be responsible for you bilking another coworker out of $10. Then I would have had to repay them and been out $10. You are not worth 2.5 gals of gas to me. Deal with it.

2) Like Shante, you have a man at home. Between the two of y'all you didn't have $10? Ok, that is your problem and not mine or anyone else's.

3) Take your money back because with all the negative energy that comes with it we definitely won't win. And we didn't.

4) No one owes you gatdamn thing in this world. You need to get over yourself. Your daddy was famous. Not. You. You are 43 years old and you still ain't got that, yet?

I think I mentioned before about 2 coworkers telling me about her office money borrowing habits. I don't know why people tell me so much of her business. I do not ask. They literally come to my office and ask did I hear the latest. No. And I don't want to. Well, I just wanted you to know blah blah blah.

People. For real. If you want your money back from her then go ask her! The fact that you are going around talking to me and who knows who else tells me you are salty about it. But venting to me doesn't get your money back. And I really don't want to hear it.

*sighs* Then she told us to pray for her as she was going to apply for this job in another dept. *eyebrows come together* I didn't say anything but I immediately shot her buddy CCW2 a look. CCW2 worked in that dept. I've been on an interview in that dept. and decided against the job after the interview. I know people who worked in that dept and left. We all have A LOT LESS DRAMA going on with us than CCW1.

CCW1 says the job is all the things that she loves to do. That is fine and dandy. My questions are will she be able to stop screaming at her husband at work, stop borrowing from people on the job, keep regular working hours, and not go around telling everyone she hates her job while there. This is a very high visibility supervisory job. *blink blink*

I wish her the best of luck but let me state why I am not in the least bit interested in any job in that dept at all. My interview process went fine until I got to the last interview. I met with a gentleman who after asking me the normal interview questions then gave a very PERSONAL assessment of me that had nothing to do with the job. This man literally got into my psyche and took it apart. Some of the things that he said were so dead on that I had to go home and think about the rest of his assessment a couple days.

Then after I got him out of my brain I started to wonder why he did it? Is this something he does for shyts and giggles ever third Tuesday of the month or what? If he's in a bad mood does he come in and play mind games with the office staff? I didn't know and realized that neither the job nor the dept was for me.

Then someone that I thought I had gotten rid up showed up again. I changed my cell number as I do every 4 years or so. That gets rid of the exes or the wanna be exes. I don't do tap backs.

I got to say, I do love my Caucasian girlfriends but I swear they are the craziest. Bless the men that love them because I swear they are too cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Not all of them, just the ones I've known. lol I guess that is what throws me about CCW1, usually I find this level of crazy among my Caucasian girlfriends.

One of them reared her head again last week. She emailed me at work. Damn it! *chuckle* So we had lunch so that we could catch up. That means so she could dump all the drama that she has been going through on me from the previous year. *eye roll* Why, Lord? Why do I get all the crazy Caucasian women?

It is like because I know how to duck the simple azz negro men that I have to make up for it by having crazy Caucasian women befriend me.  I knew her azz was crazy when I met her 5 years ago. Last year she was finally diagnosed. She says.

Let's see. She finally got a divorce from her ex, she had a mental breakdown because his business failed and he was stalking her, they put her in a mental hospital, he came there and tried to kill her, he is now engaged to be married, he has custody of the kids and is living in PA, she has met a massage therapist off the internet who is presently in Japan or China taking classes at an exclusive massage therapy school, if/when they get serious he'll let her drive one of his luxury cars.

I think they need to adjust her meds some more. *rubs forehead* I do not need anymore crazy in my life. Please, Lord, make them go away.

One more thing about CCW1 since people love spilling her business all over the office. Her husband put her out of the section 8 house in September. Well, some time over the past few months his sister put him out the section 8 house. Of course she took him back. I guess she's stuck with him until they get their settlement check from the accident. *shrug* She did veto his idea of buying a jaguar for him. I'm proud of her for that much.

I was right...

She just confirmed my suspicion. She is thinking about having sex with the diseased peen! *smh* I told her to do her.

W.O.W.

Also, I read over the other crazy coworker's post and it is actually NINE pages long. It only captures the nonsense up to May 2011. So much more happened after that. *lol* I won't be updating or posting. I know what I need to know about her and I'm over it.

These two call themselves Christians. *glances Heavenward* I wonder what Bible they are reading from because I swear the ones (yes, plural) that I've read from don't have the Lord Jesus doing any of this.

*skips off to find caffiene*

Coworker vent...

Sometimes I really do think I am crazy. That perhaps I should be on meds. I think this because people look at me like I'm crazy for not only backing their nonsense but joining in on it. Sometimes, I think that perhaps I should join them in their drama and insanity. Then I go home, have a nice dinner, chat with some folks and got to bed. Then I wake up and realize that I ain't that crazy yet.

So, I've been aluding to but never posting about one of my coworkers. That is because after the post about her got over seven 8-1/2 x 11 inch pages with 1 in margins long and I still wasn't finished with her story, I stopped typing and called TPL. I figured with as many lies as he's told he should be able to sort her out. He gave me part her, that she is one of those people that likes people to feel sorry for her. That felt partially right, then I got the other part of her a couple weeks ago. She likes people to feel sorry for her so that she can beg from them for her needs while spending her money on her wants. It was working up until her birthday.

Incredibily long story made short and simple: After much drama and gifts from her that include a car, her husband kicked her out of the section 8 house. *chuckle* So that was in September. She hated him blah blah blah. Fast forward to December and he throws her a birthday party. *blink blink* At the section 8 house that he kicked her out of in the first place. And only 3 people showed up...and she's mad because more people didn't show.

She said she 'was feeling some kinda way about it for a while but she was over it now'. Her exact words. I felt like calling her out her name and saying: You have taken everyone - friends, family, and coworkers - on a rollercoaster ride for the last 3 years with this ninja that ended in him taking your cell phone bill money to bail his sister out of jail for assaulting her boyfriend and then kicking you out the house and you're mad because more people didn't show up at HIS house for a birthday party for you because you two have kinda sorta made up. For real?

I was speechless. I let her talk and when all I could say in a voice as flat as I could get it was "Oh. Wow." she left my office. smh

Then the other one is talking about hooking up with her baby daddy because she's horny. Normally, this wouldn't even be a blip on my radar because people do this all the time. However, the last time she had sex with him, he gave her chlamydia and her blood tests now show she has been "exposed" to Herpes. Apparently, now you can be exposed to Herpes without getting it. *shrug* I can only keep up with so much. Anyhoodles, I'm looking at her like she has lost her mind and she's whining that she's horny.

O...k...fine...but that ain't the only dinga in Maryland. Why not try something new and get it tested before you do it or at least wear a condom. *sniggle* Now, I don't feel bad about using hand sanitizer after the last time she touched my hand. *sniggle* I felt bad then but not now.

I'm 44 years old and by the grace of God, I've never had an STD/STI. Not that I was particularly that careful, I was just blessed until I smartened up. So for me to get one now and have to go through the embarrassment at my doctor's office? Trust and know that the last thing on my mind would be having sex with a guy who gave me an STD/STI again. Killing him and hiding the body? Yeah. I'd go to sleep fantasizing about it. Having sex with him again? Please don't make me smack you.

These two prove to me daily that stupid comes in all colors. smh I won't lie and say I don't miss the feel of a man beside me and inside me but...errr...uhhhh...I don't miss it that much. It truly ain't that serious.  Especially since I know there is a) plenty of dinga out there and b) a lot of it is even clean dinga.

I told her to change her numbers and seek some counseling. I bet she is still in there dreaming about diseased peen. smh

To each his/her own.

Just in case I suddenly disappear...

*cue Twilight Zone music*

So…it has been a strange day.  A very hectic day.  I just want to go on record as stating that if I suddenly stop writing one day, and some Info-techno-anthropologist someday finds these missives and wonders whatever happened to the writer the crazy white guy on my job probably went off and did us all in.

*serious face*

No, there isn’t any one thing that I can put my finger on as believing that he will explode.  It is just a feeling I can’t quite shake that there is something not quite right about him.

Let me just say that he is in a managerial position and he’s had it for longer than a year.  Every day it is more and more evident that he doesn’t know what he is doing.  He doesn’t remember what was discussed even a few hours ago let alone the day before or last week.

Case and point: I was working on sending several subcontract modifications out for one of his accounts today.  He and the coordinator in charge of the project were standing in my doorway going back and forth.  He was swearing that he had given me a modification that he hadn’t last week.  I was about to pull up the email so he could see that he hadn’t given it to me on Friday.  When he finally paused for a breath the coordinator said: I just gave it to you this morning.

The look that passed between them! Wow! All I could think of was the line from A Perfect Murder: That’s not happiness to see me. *concerned sound*

At that point I closed my office door.  This is the second time the two of them have been in my office trying to prove to each other that the other one is wrong in less than a week.  So far he is O for 2.  The last time they were both wrong and I didn’t even bother to correct them.  In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t necessary for them to be right.  It was only important that what needed to get done, got done.  And thanks to me and my boss, it did.

He gets more and more frustrated at his own mistakes.  Then he tries to play it off like he’s not frustrated or angry and everything is good. *skeptical all day long*  Everything is definitely not good.  He’s working with the wrong person’s accounts to be messing up.  There’s an ocean between him and this woman and she can still raise hell from where she is.  I’ve seen her in action. It was not pretty.

There’s so much more to add to this but I just don’t feel like going into it right now.  But I thought I’d go on record as saying something about him ain’t right.  I just got a weird feeling about the guy.  Like I said there isn’t an instance that I could go to personnel and say: Hey! He’s crazy! This is why. Do something about him.  It is just a feeling.

So if I disappear, look for news on office shooting in downtown Baltimore. *sips eggnog with shaky hand*

They are making me come out of retirement.

Have mercy! These children. That’s all I can call them is children. I am watching the unraveling of womankind and it is ugly.

I am watching the ladies get played left and right and it is an awful sight to see. I give advice that is requested and then ignored. I am guessing because others believe that a fat, buck and gap toothed, black woman with glasses is single because she has no choice.

Poor things just don’t know. I am so much more than the above description. I am single by my choice. Period. *sighs* But I guess I am going to have to come out of retirement to show them how it is supposed to be done.

Who are “them”? Well there’s coworker # 1 whose husband put her out of the section 8 house they were sharing with his sister. He did this after she bought him a car. *smh* And she has the nerve to shake her head at me. She still wants this fool back even though he’s into white girls now. She is now following the teaching of Rev Jamal Bryant, philanderer extraordinaire. His fame comes from the fact that he threatened to kill his mistress when she filed papers to take him to child support court. This ninja is driving around in a $400k+ car and don’t want to pay child support. He makes my teeth itch.

Another “them” is coworker #2 who has been carrying a torch for her daughter’s father for 19 years. He is the only man she has slept with for 19 years. Though she ain’t the only woman he’s been sleeping with. She’s finally gotten him out of her system but the cost…the cost. *sadly smh*

Another “them” is this woman in my FB woman’s group. Her young man is playing her dirty. Real dirty. First he doesn’t like how she gets her orgasm. *blinkity blinkity blink blink* She just let it slide. Had it been me the story would have gone a little something like this. I would have either called in sick to work or scheduled a day off or waited until the weekend but I would have had a me day. She’s 33. At 33 I was having some financial difficulties so my me time would have been a leisurely breakfast at home, sans simple azz boyfriend. Then I would have gone window shopping to clear my mind. Then lunch at McDs, a Happy Meal. Seriously, some of those toys are cool. Judge me all you want but play time is just as important for adults as it is for children. *shruggingly rolls eyes* Then either a matinee movie or go to a park and just sit and think which option to choose from:

a) Move out and start dating again.

b) Move back home and start dating again.

c) Move to a different city and start dating again.

Forget him. There are men out there wishing they could make their woman orgasm that hard. They are trying everything and driving their women crazy, not in a good way either, trying to get her to reach the level of sexual satisfaction that this woman can reach when done right. Just so they can walk around beating their chests like Tarzan. *lol* And this young man is not only not pumped at what he can do but turned off by it? Yeah. I got to go. An orgasm is an awesome thing. If my man doesn’t like how I get mine then we can’t be lovers and that is fine. Everything ain’t for everyone. I would need to find me a man that was for me.

He’s done a couple more things since then that just make me smh and wonder why in the world she stays. She is just as velvety chocolaty pretty as she can be. Finding a new man should not be a problem as long as she is secure in herself. If she isn’t then she needs to ditch that zero and work on herself.

Coworker # 1 got on my last nerve this week and I took a FB break yesterday. I did an energy cleanse and did something special for myself today that brought my positive energy back up. I sign on to FB this evening and go to my women’s group to cut up and laugh.

FB is the devil.

The first story up is his latest offense and I had to laugh and log back off. This ninja has planned a sleep over at a friend’s house for Friday. The “friend” (read sex buddy) is a young woman and his girlfriend isn’t invited. *giggling my head off*

We are grownups. Male and female heterosexual adults do not do sleepovers unless someone is having sex. Some of the women in the group are assuring her there is nothing to worry about even though he is wrong in his assumption that it is ok.

Um, no, um, he is going to have sex with his “friend” and it is ok because he has decided that it is ok. Period. She even, for some strange reason, tried to flip it on him and asked him how he would feel if she slept over at a male friend’s place. He said he’d be fine with it.

I swear there should have been horns growing out of my head when I read that. *snickering*

23 year old me would have punched him in his throat.

33 year old me would have said, “Oh. Ok.” And there wouldn’t have been any other conversation on the matter. However, whenever he deigned to return to our residence this weekend he would find me walking around in a man’s shirt and cute panties that he’s never seen and two men that he’s never met would be walking around in whatever they felt comfortable walking around in. I would be glowing! I’m betting he would have come home Saturday morning because I wouldn’t have called him the whole time he would be gone nor would I be answering his calls. Suspicious, he’d a brought his butt home. He would have walked in the place and seen two dudes and his soon to be ex chilling. I’d look up and ask him does he want my friend to make him some pancakes. Then I’d watch him have a conniption fit and I’d have the other guy call 911 for him.

*gets up to do the Cabbage Patch and sing How ya like me now?*

43 year old me would have been gone when he had a problem with how I get my orgasm. An orgasm is a wonderful thing. And there ain’t a man alive worth skipping them. Ask a heterosexual man, any one of them, if there is a woman alive that would make him skip getting his orgasm his way.

There is something very important she is missing and I don't know how she missed it.  When a man claims a woman as his own he does not believe it is ok for her to have male friends sleepover nor for her to sleepover at a male friend's place.  I speak from experience. *lol*  And me and this dude were truly platonic, never shared a kiss.  However, platonic friend is/was friends with an ex.  When the guy I was seeing then claimed me as his woman, all that sleeping over at A's house had to stop.  He showed me the same respect.  This dude she is rooming with ain't claimed her or he has relinquished claim to her.  Poor thing doesn't seem to know it either.
Then there are a couple women in the group having self-esteem issues.

Then there are the children on BA that make me wish it was legal to slap someone when they are being stupid.

So, this fat, gap and buck toothed, four eyed, black woman is going to come out of retirement to show them how it is done.

Y’all heffas get on my nerves for making me eat right, exercise and do ish that I wouldn’t have to do if only you’d listen to me. You all have got the game all the way messed up.

*sucks teeth and goes to comptemplate things beyond most of these children's understanding*

Oh my gosh last week was the week from Hell

I didn’t even make it to the end of the week. Thursday, I woke up with a headache and dizzy. Them people on my job *smh*. To top it off I got a virus on my computer at work and IT had to be called into clean it. While IT was doing their magic, I walked around to one of my coworkers’ office just to sip coffee until IT was done. I said good morning and she looked at me and burst into tears.

Last week was the week from Hell.

By the time I soothed her and got her story I was drained and it wasn’t even my life. I asked for Friday off because frankly I didn’t think I’d make it in. I woke up Friday with a headache too but I took 3 Extra Strength Tylenol and got back in bed. I spent the day in bed either on Facebook or Netflix or napping. By Saturday I was able to function and I awoke headache free. *smh*

I can’t do this job too much longer. I am praying to find something better soon.

This week wasn’t too bad job wise but I got a toothache that is a sonabitch! I see the dentist Monday. It is my wisdom tooth. I’ve been dragging my feet about getting it extracted because everyone tells me it hurts like hell. But if it is going to hurt this much I might as well go on and get it out.

I took today off because I’m too evil and cranky to be around people right now because of my toothache. I can only keep up the charade but so much for so long.

I’m still waiting for the shoe to drop on the job though. Everyone keeps telling me I’m being an alarmist but this dept I’m in…*smh*. I don’t know. Don’t feel like thinking about them right now. Maybe I’ll explain in detail another time.

I should lose a few pounds this week though *chuckle*. I haven’t been able to handle more than soup, and noodles. Last night I was able to upgrade to cheese and fruit! Yipeee! *sighs* I have a steak in the freezer that is calling my name. I don’t think I’ll be enjoying it anytime soon though.

Other than that, all is still insane and a lot is still wrong with the world. *chuckle*

*tips coffee mug at screen*

Just an update

So I haven’t been around for a few months. That is because there is so much going on *pause* around me personally. A lot going on with me professionally. It is so crazy. I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with my GFN.


*chuckle*

Much as I thought she would, she filed for divorce in October 2010 from her husband. That’s pretty sad, I think. He’s a decent guy. Perfect? No, but then neither is she nor me nor anyone else. I kind of started a bit of a family stink several months back by telling her what I thought her problem was.

*rolls eyes*

Aye yi yi! I wish I had kept my mouth shut. I was just trying to get her to go back to couples counseling with him. Seriously, when you have a black man who wants to go to couples counseling and work on the marriage you got somebody worth building a life with. But all she kept hearing was that I didn’t think she knew how to take care of a man.

*blink blink* I have the emails to back up the fact I never said anything to that effect. Fact of the matter, according to her mother Sissy, is that she is seeing another man. *sigh* I’m done with it and moving on. Her life not mine. *smh* But that ain’t the way to a happy life. I guess she’ll have to learn the hard way like everyone else who takes that route.

My BFL’s daughter is trying to get divorced from her husband. I say trying because he refuses to sign the divorce papers even though she moved out May 2010 and he has moved in with his new girlfriend. *smh* Why hold onto somebody who a) doesn’t want you and b) you don’t want? The BFL’s daughter has moved back home to get back on her feet financially. She then totaled her new car. Then she got pregnant by her new boyfriend who her father doesn’t like. *sigh* Youth. Then she lost the baby a couple weeks ago. She is taking it pretty hard which in turn means my BFL is taking it hard with her. It is hard for any parent to see their child suffer regardless of the circumstances.

MB3’s sister has stage 4 cancer. Man, the hits just keep coming. I worry what will happen to the foster daughter she has had since she was a baby. So sad.

Meanwhile, MB3’s daughter is still unemployed and looking to her to support her, the boyfriend and his two sons, and her two daughters. And she’s doing it though not in the smartest of ways. I’ve tried telling her, hinting at her, pointing her in the right direction but she always says she can’t this, that, and the other. MB3 has two homes. One she owns outright and another she is paying a mortgage on and has been in it over 20 years.

I told her she should have her daughter get on Section 8, since her lazy azz won’t keep a job, and rent the house she still owes a mortgage on. The rent she will get from Section 8 will pay her mortgage and then some. The house she owns outright she could rent out as a group home for the mentally challenged. She could use the properties as collateral for a home loan and get the condo she has always wanted. The money she would get from the group home should pay the mortgage on the condo thus freeing up her salary to do with as she pleases.

Do you know what she said to me when I laid that plan out for her? She said she didn’t know she could do that. I said yes, that she should go talk to a real estate lawyer to work that out. She responded real quick she didn’t have money for that then went out and bought matching outfits for her and her granddaughters.

*blink pause blink*

Those outfits were the cost of an hour of a real estate lawyer’s time. *sigh* Now she sending out emails talking about telling people she is sewing pillows to make extra money. I replied ok. *sucks teeth*

Next up is MCB. *brief sunny smile* She got my godson off to his first year in college. He did well his first semester. Above a 3.0 on a 4.0 scale for his first semester and HE is disappointed that he didn’t do better. *smiling hard* I pray he keeps up the good work. His father however is another problem. *rolls eyes* I can’t stand that man but I ain’t got to sleep next to him so…whatever. He’s said he wants to contribute to his son’s college education and participate in more of his special events and blah blah blah. In other words, be involved with him now that he is over 18 when he couldn’t be bothered before. My godson is not stupid. It is causing familial upset. His son doesn’t want to be bothered but MCB would welcome some help with his college tuition. She’s walking a tightrope of sorts between the two of them.

Then the problems she’s been having on her job, that I told her to leave 5 years ago, are escalating. And she is another one that can’t say no to family. So she’s cosigned on a couple things she shouldn’t have. *smh* And she’s looking after an elderly uncle. She hasn’t talked about the guy she’s been seeing in awhile and I ain’t asking. Just what I mentioned above is more than an earful every time I hear from her.

Then I got these folk on the job. Ugh is all I can say. One thing I have learned on this job is the importance of being meticulous about keeping records. I swear almost on a daily basis they try to say they didn’t do something or didn’t know and then I have to point out the whens, wheres and whos of how they got the info on the right way to do something. Then they go away until they mess something else up.

*groan* Will I ever get to work with people who are adults on the inside as well as on the outside? I wonder what that is like.

I did do one very smart thing last spring. I let my hair go natural. *big smile* It took a minute for my hair to get the hang of it and it still needs some TLC but I am quite happy with the results.

One Sunday after washing my hair, I grabbed my blow dryer and all the gunk that goes into making it smooth and straight. I looked down at the hairdryer with comb attachment and the bottles before me and said “Screw it!” I looked in the mirror and told my hair, “Do you.”

It took a while for it to understand what I meant. I don’t blame my hair at all. First, my mother and sisters and then various hairstylists had been telling it what to do for better than 40 years. Now, it had to find itself. *chuckle* It took awhile but it is coming around nicely. At least I think so. And so do quite a few men.

*chuckle* And they’re nonblack American men. I don’t quite know what to make of that. One in particular is a nice Jewish guy from a nice Jewish family who I am sure will not like me and my natural locks at all. *chuckle* He better stop messing with me before I take him up on his offer and get him disinherited is all I know. *chuckle* But he is fun.

And, I am still looking for a replacement for Raul! *chuckling* Who would think that my coochay would be so picky. *lol* But that is a post for another day and I’m hungry. *smells dinner calling*

Till then… *tips wine glass at monitor*

It has been on my mind so...

Here are a few updates.

First, to one of thee best chuckles I've had in a while. I needed it. I am so sick of everyone calling me with the same dumb drama that is centuries old.

Seriously, if the Bible teaches you nothing else it will show you that the same ish going on today is the same ish that has been going on for thousands of years. Men and women cheat in and out of the bedroom, pedophiles, rapists, murders, liars and theives always abound and there are only a few honest folk around. And everyone who ain't honest is always mad at the honest folk. *shrug* That's what I got out of it anyway. Among other things of course.

But back to my chuckle, my FB pal Meme called me yesterday with something new that gave me the giggles even after I got off the phone. She has met this guy who she likes. The only problem she can find is that whenever he starts talking about his job she wants to fall asleep. LOL She gave me an example that with my highly imaginative mind gave me a good laugh. She said they were out to dinner and all was fine with the general chit chat until...he started talking about his job. LOL To make matters worse she ASKED him about his job hoping that since she wasn't tired that the inevitable wouldn't happen. LOL But it did. I just had this picture of her sitting at the table nodding out on his conversation LOL. Poor Meme! lol I hope she works it out cuz she does like the man. I've never been or known anyone to be in that situation. It was a refreshing new problem.

Normal BS: I know I probably shouldn't care. I probably wouldn't with all the other drama going on if there wasn't a child caught up in this mess but...*smh* My coworker and her husband are back together. He came back with bills in tow that he didn't have when he left her. So she is running around tired and haggard looking eating oodles of noodles wondering where their next meal is coming from.  He came back to her with defaulted credit cards and 3 pay day loans in tow. So she has been using her salary to carry the household along with paying his car note and insurance. *slow blink twice*

Meanwhile, she has a ten year old caught up in this mess. *sigh* She was doing so well without him. Then to top it off, her car gets towed and sold at auction for unpaid parking tickets. Leaving them with one car. Then a few weeks later his car gets TOTALED! Yikes! Luckily, they have gap insurance so that paid off his car.

However, when they go to buy another car because he needs it to get to and from work, she mind you is on the bus, he wants a Mercedes. *rapid fire blinking* And he gets mad because the dealership won't finance one for him with his credit. Ok...she makes more than him at 40k+/year. Why in thee hayle does he think he can afford a Mercedes?

Now, the dealership can put them in a car. I forget what kind but it was relatively new and a nice vehicle. He turned his nose up at it. Coworker said fine. Honey, how about I buy the car and you drive it for the next 6 months and then we can try to get you what you want at that time. He pouts and says he thinks they should both wait 6 months then try to buy TWO cars. One of them being a Mercedes on her $40k+/year salary.

I almost bit my tongue in half. *smh* Nevermind how is he going to get back and forth to work. Or how her child is going to get to school. Let's just wait. Now mind you they do not live in Bmore City or even Bmore County for that matter. They are far off the beaten track. She is taking a commuter bus to work and ish. *smh*

But what really got me was the day she came in here talking about she didn't have any food in the house or money to buy any. Then a neighbor gave them some food from their job. *side eye* How are you going to be foodless with a child and worried about your spouse wanting a luxury car?

iCan't! I'll be single for life first.

Next, my niece filed for divorce. Oh that heffa is shady! She rifled through her husbands financials trying to see if he was hiding any money before she left him. Her momma said she is seeing someone already. She is trying to get full custody of the son and keeping him from his father. She doing a bunch of ish that might have me and the rest of the family on the news in front of her house crying. *smh* Can't tell her ish either cuz she just knows it all. I just hope she got good life insurance cuz I ain't paying for her funeral. Her azz will be in Potter's field. That is all.

Normal job bs. Nothing new there.

OH! My old e-crush friended me on FB. I know I said I was gonna tell him who I am but I decided against it. He has moved on and has a new love in his life and he's happy. He said one day that he had found peace with her.

Wow!

So, I won't be disturbing that peace. I'm happy for them both. We are what we should have been all along, e-buddies and it is all good.

Other than that God is good and the world keeps turning. Though sometimes I do want to get off the planet. *chuckle*

I THINK he’s still playing you.

*Now Playing Through the Fire – Chaka Khan*

Again, I don’t claim to be an expert on human nature, only a student and I still THINK my co-worker’s husband is playing her. *smh*

See, since I got back from vacation she has been bouncing around and bragging about all the great sex she has been getting lately. When I say bouncing, I mean dancing and backing that thang (her butt) up and everything. She has been getting all this since she went to a therapist, told him she was going to get on some meds and told him that if he is allowed to date then so is she. *smh chuckling*

I just laugh with her and chase her out of my office. We do this a couple times a week. She is really happy right now. *skeptical side-eye*

But see…I gotta wonder about his motives. Again, I don’t know this man nor does it have anything to do with my home, paycheck or bills. But she invited me into her mess and *shrug* I like to study my fellow human beings and their behavior and motives.

What I neglected to include when I first told this story was that when he moved out he told her that the last 18 months had been just miserable for him. He didn’t even want to come home from work becuz of ABC through XYZ issues. Now at the time they had only been married 14 MONTHS! This means he was miserable before he even said “I do.” When she questioned him on why he didn’t stop the wedding his response was that he saw how happy it was making her so he just went along with it.

*head cocked side eye*

Soooooooooooooooooooo…(if he is to be believed) if he lived 18 months of his life to please her then wouldn’t it stand to reason that he is doing this now too just to make her happy? If so, then isn’t he still the same miserable man who left home a few months ago by coming back to her? No, I don’t know if he has moved back in and I ain’t asking. I don’t prod, people just tell me stuff. *shrug*

No, none of the issues that he said made him move out have been resolved according to her. So…*head scratch*why is he back? Cuz, I don’t want to be standing beside her azz when he decides he can’t be with her azz any more and the only way he can be free is to do a drive by as she leaves work or heads to lunch, or what have you.

I still remember the woman Oprah had on her show who had been set ablaze by her (ex)boyfriend or (ex)husband (again, I forget which) at her place of employment. Bmore ninjas are no joke either. We had a case here in Bmore where the husband killed his wife when she came to court for the restraining order hearing. HE KILLED HER IN THE COURTHOUSE!!!!

Then of course there is always an insurance scheme. Our employer gives us $5,000 of life insurance free of charge. For an additional charge they will up it. For about $5 per pay you can get up to 4 times your salary. I ain’t saying he would, I’m just saying…think about it.

I reiterate: Baltimore where the cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

*smh* I wish people were a little wiser about their interpersonal relationships. *sigh* This should be an interesting summer.

*Tips empty ice tea glass at monitor*