Coworker vent...

Sometimes I really do think I am crazy. That perhaps I should be on meds. I think this because people look at me like I'm crazy for not only backing their nonsense but joining in on it. Sometimes, I think that perhaps I should join them in their drama and insanity. Then I go home, have a nice dinner, chat with some folks and got to bed. Then I wake up and realize that I ain't that crazy yet.

So, I've been aluding to but never posting about one of my coworkers. That is because after the post about her got over seven 8-1/2 x 11 inch pages with 1 in margins long and I still wasn't finished with her story, I stopped typing and called TPL. I figured with as many lies as he's told he should be able to sort her out. He gave me part her, that she is one of those people that likes people to feel sorry for her. That felt partially right, then I got the other part of her a couple weeks ago. She likes people to feel sorry for her so that she can beg from them for her needs while spending her money on her wants. It was working up until her birthday.

Incredibily long story made short and simple: After much drama and gifts from her that include a car, her husband kicked her out of the section 8 house. *chuckle* So that was in September. She hated him blah blah blah. Fast forward to December and he throws her a birthday party. *blink blink* At the section 8 house that he kicked her out of in the first place. And only 3 people showed up...and she's mad because more people didn't show.

She said she 'was feeling some kinda way about it for a while but she was over it now'. Her exact words. I felt like calling her out her name and saying: You have taken everyone - friends, family, and coworkers - on a rollercoaster ride for the last 3 years with this ninja that ended in him taking your cell phone bill money to bail his sister out of jail for assaulting her boyfriend and then kicking you out the house and you're mad because more people didn't show up at HIS house for a birthday party for you because you two have kinda sorta made up. For real?

I was speechless. I let her talk and when all I could say in a voice as flat as I could get it was "Oh. Wow." she left my office. smh

Then the other one is talking about hooking up with her baby daddy because she's horny. Normally, this wouldn't even be a blip on my radar because people do this all the time. However, the last time she had sex with him, he gave her chlamydia and her blood tests now show she has been "exposed" to Herpes. Apparently, now you can be exposed to Herpes without getting it. *shrug* I can only keep up with so much. Anyhoodles, I'm looking at her like she has lost her mind and she's whining that she's horny.

O...k...fine...but that ain't the only dinga in Maryland. Why not try something new and get it tested before you do it or at least wear a condom. *sniggle* Now, I don't feel bad about using hand sanitizer after the last time she touched my hand. *sniggle* I felt bad then but not now.

I'm 44 years old and by the grace of God, I've never had an STD/STI. Not that I was particularly that careful, I was just blessed until I smartened up. So for me to get one now and have to go through the embarrassment at my doctor's office? Trust and know that the last thing on my mind would be having sex with a guy who gave me an STD/STI again. Killing him and hiding the body? Yeah. I'd go to sleep fantasizing about it. Having sex with him again? Please don't make me smack you.

These two prove to me daily that stupid comes in all colors. smh I won't lie and say I don't miss the feel of a man beside me and inside me but...errr...uhhhh...I don't miss it that much. It truly ain't that serious.  Especially since I know there is a) plenty of dinga out there and b) a lot of it is even clean dinga.

I told her to change her numbers and seek some counseling. I bet she is still in there dreaming about diseased peen. smh

To each his/her own.

Just in case I suddenly disappear...

*cue Twilight Zone music*

So…it has been a strange day.  A very hectic day.  I just want to go on record as stating that if I suddenly stop writing one day, and some Info-techno-anthropologist someday finds these missives and wonders whatever happened to the writer the crazy white guy on my job probably went off and did us all in.

*serious face*

No, there isn’t any one thing that I can put my finger on as believing that he will explode.  It is just a feeling I can’t quite shake that there is something not quite right about him.

Let me just say that he is in a managerial position and he’s had it for longer than a year.  Every day it is more and more evident that he doesn’t know what he is doing.  He doesn’t remember what was discussed even a few hours ago let alone the day before or last week.

Case and point: I was working on sending several subcontract modifications out for one of his accounts today.  He and the coordinator in charge of the project were standing in my doorway going back and forth.  He was swearing that he had given me a modification that he hadn’t last week.  I was about to pull up the email so he could see that he hadn’t given it to me on Friday.  When he finally paused for a breath the coordinator said: I just gave it to you this morning.

The look that passed between them! Wow! All I could think of was the line from A Perfect Murder: That’s not happiness to see me. *concerned sound*

At that point I closed my office door.  This is the second time the two of them have been in my office trying to prove to each other that the other one is wrong in less than a week.  So far he is O for 2.  The last time they were both wrong and I didn’t even bother to correct them.  In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t necessary for them to be right.  It was only important that what needed to get done, got done.  And thanks to me and my boss, it did.

He gets more and more frustrated at his own mistakes.  Then he tries to play it off like he’s not frustrated or angry and everything is good. *skeptical all day long*  Everything is definitely not good.  He’s working with the wrong person’s accounts to be messing up.  There’s an ocean between him and this woman and she can still raise hell from where she is.  I’ve seen her in action. It was not pretty.

There’s so much more to add to this but I just don’t feel like going into it right now.  But I thought I’d go on record as saying something about him ain’t right.  I just got a weird feeling about the guy.  Like I said there isn’t an instance that I could go to personnel and say: Hey! He’s crazy! This is why. Do something about him.  It is just a feeling.

So if I disappear, look for news on office shooting in downtown Baltimore. *sips eggnog with shaky hand*

Oh my gosh last week was the week from Hell

I didn’t even make it to the end of the week. Thursday, I woke up with a headache and dizzy. Them people on my job *smh*. To top it off I got a virus on my computer at work and IT had to be called into clean it. While IT was doing their magic, I walked around to one of my coworkers’ office just to sip coffee until IT was done. I said good morning and she looked at me and burst into tears.

Last week was the week from Hell.

By the time I soothed her and got her story I was drained and it wasn’t even my life. I asked for Friday off because frankly I didn’t think I’d make it in. I woke up Friday with a headache too but I took 3 Extra Strength Tylenol and got back in bed. I spent the day in bed either on Facebook or Netflix or napping. By Saturday I was able to function and I awoke headache free. *smh*

I can’t do this job too much longer. I am praying to find something better soon.

This week wasn’t too bad job wise but I got a toothache that is a sonabitch! I see the dentist Monday. It is my wisdom tooth. I’ve been dragging my feet about getting it extracted because everyone tells me it hurts like hell. But if it is going to hurt this much I might as well go on and get it out.

I took today off because I’m too evil and cranky to be around people right now because of my toothache. I can only keep up the charade but so much for so long.

I’m still waiting for the shoe to drop on the job though. Everyone keeps telling me I’m being an alarmist but this dept I’m in…*smh*. I don’t know. Don’t feel like thinking about them right now. Maybe I’ll explain in detail another time.

I should lose a few pounds this week though *chuckle*. I haven’t been able to handle more than soup, and noodles. Last night I was able to upgrade to cheese and fruit! Yipeee! *sighs* I have a steak in the freezer that is calling my name. I don’t think I’ll be enjoying it anytime soon though.

Other than that, all is still insane and a lot is still wrong with the world. *chuckle*

*tips coffee mug at screen*

Waiting on the world to change.

*sigh*

I’m about to drop a womanly secret and I am wondering what will happen if I do? Will the cosmos come after me and punish me? Will my Woman Card be revoked and I end up a transgendered eunuch? Or will absolutely nothing happen cuz it is just possible that no one will ever read this little blurb? *shrug*

Let me start with what transpired that got me on this subject. A chick I once worked with and I have kind of struck up a friendly association of sorts. Let’s call her Buffy. *smirk* I don’t tell her anything and she tells me everything. *chuckle* Anyway, I get a text from her first thing one morning and thru a series of text messages I get the latest drama going on in her life.

See, a several months ago she met this guy. They went out on a date and…you know what? I blogged about her briefly in my HIV/AIDS rant. She’s that chick. This is the guy she slept with on the first date. Well, they’ve been dating ever since. He was homeless and sleeping on friends’ couches when she met him. Now she told me at the time that she was not going to allow him to move in with her. She said that. She did. She did. She really did!

So in June she told me that they were now discussing marriage. I thought that was a big leap for people who hadn’t known each other quite 6 months yet, but I said nothing. I let her talk. *shrug* I’ve heard of happy endings in such a short time of dating but I had my doubts about this but I kept them to myself. I let her shine cuz she was really happy.

Then he tells her that he lied when he said he wanted to get married. He had never discussed marriage before and he just wanted to know what it felt like to talk about it.

*Jaw drop accompanied by blank stare*

I am trying to find the words for the way I felt when I read this text and I just can’t. I know I stopped breathing for a few seconds and my mind went blank. And that was actually a good thing becuz since I had no response she could finish her story.

So that was on a Friday. She said she thought she felt ok about it but come Monday the damn broke and she’d been crying ever since. *sympathetic head shake* I could just imagine. By this time now I am getting pissed for her and my mind is thinking some truly vile, evil things about this guy and what should be done to him. But still I am silent. I let her speak on.

I asked her had they talked and she said yes and that she keeps breaking down and crying. She said he found it annoying.

*blinkity blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink, etc.*

My thought processes went something like this: “What the…who the…I…BLANK*

She asked me did I think she had a right to be crying and emotional right now. I was like FUK YEAH! On the inside. On the outside I said something calm and logical to the affect that yes she did have a right to her feelings. She thought she was building a relationship with someone who wanted the same things out of life that she did. She thought she had found the person who she wanted to share her life with and who felt the same about her. To find out now that he was lying was quite cruel. I told her perhaps she should take some time to cry and get her emotions under control. That perhaps she shouldn’t speak to him again until the weekend.

That was when she dropped the real bomb: He’s living with her so she has to see him.

I felt like saying, Bytch, what? This MFer is still living in your home (she’s buying her house) after that shyt he just said? Alive? And not in pieces buried in the backyard, under the front steps, at the dump and various other places I could think of? WTF???? This would be considered a crime of passion and you probably wouldn't even see the inside of a jail cell!

What I actually said I have no idea. I think I blocked it out but I know it wasn’t any of the above. As a matter of fact I think I totally blanked on responding to the fact that she had let this homeless MFer move in with her. So I let her cry it out to me.

So I talked to HKS to make sure I was right in my feeling even if I didn’t speak ill of The One Who Should Be Dead to Buffy. She confirmed my feelings and gave me a little something to take back to Buffy that went like this: You know, I have never had you living in my home before. I let you move in so that I could see what that was like but I was lying and I don’t want you living with me anymore. *tears of laughter*

So I passed this onto Buffy and her text response verbatim:

He is staying with family tonight. Just paranoid that he is going to leave me.

Yeah…I never did answer her. Didn’t know if I would ever talk to her again. Cuz my mind said: You dilly, low self-esteemed bytch! Six months ago this MFer didn’t have a place to lay his head. He has family that took him in tonight but this bytch can’t live with them. He had friends that let him sleep on their couches for a few nights but AGAIN nobody wanted to let his azz live with them. If you really want his azz you can pretty much order this MFer to marry you or be fukking homeless again. I’m betting his annoyance is feigned to cover up for really being scared that he’s about to be homeless again. That’s it. He’s scared you are about to put his azz out on the curb and he’s gonna have to start bouncing from couch to couch again. If his azz is lucky cuz you have no idea if he’s burned any bridges since moving in with you! But you are worried that HE is gonna leave YOU? WTF aren’t you helping his sorry azz pack?

I tossed my cell phone down and walked away in disgust instead of saying any of that. Watch her azz end up on Judge Joe Brown or some damn body. *smh*

But I didn’t talk bad about her…man? Whatever he is I didn’t say anything negative to her about him. Becuz what I know is that after telling me all this and getting me all worked up she would and ultimately did take this MFer back. She at least was admitting it. I’ve had friends who swore off their men time and time again. And time and time again they took their men back. *shrug* It just is what it is. And it’s nothing new. Have you read or seen A Streetcar Named Desire, Eve’s Bayou, or some other movie, book or play where this happens? Those are cases of art imitating life.

But if you are the friend that talked bad about your girlfriend's man guess who is the bad friend? And these women will tell their men which of their girls told them to dump him. Now he mad and hating the girlfriends for just reacting to what HIS WOMAN said.

And uh ladies? If you are doing this mess in hopes that your man won’t ever hook up with one of your friends you can stop thinking that. Dyck neither loves nor hates. It just strokes and ejaculates.

What made me decide to write about it was that one of the guys in my TT was going OFF about his girlfriend’s friends one day. They bitter. They ugly. They this, that and the other. I was cracking up cuz what he didn’t seem to realize was that his girlfriend’s friends are just going in on what HIS GIRLFRIEND told them. *smh*

I am just truly amazed that everyone always goes in on the outside women. No one ever goes to the source. If your man is cheating don’t go to the other woman (or man as the case may be) you should check your man. If your girlfriend’s friends got too much to say about your relationship don’t check the friends check your woman. Period. That is all. *chuckle*

Chile, I was just mad I didn’t have any popcorn cuz my TT was hot! He went on a rant for more than a minute! *LOL* I just kept sitting there hitting the refresh button. *LOL* And these folks are in their 30s and have yet to learn these very simple little facts.

I learned back in college to keep my mouth shut when it came to my girlfriends and their men.

My best story belonged to Lisa. See, Lisa and I both came from a working class family. Our parents couldn’t afford to pay for our college education, books, room and board etc. like most of the friends in our circle. We were still very different but our socio-economic background was similar.

Anyhoodles, around our junior year Lisa settles into a romance with a whore. The only thing that pissed me off about this was that she was letting him drive her car and I know how hard she had worked and scrimped to get that car. But again, I kept my mouth shut.

Our other friends thought she should be told. As is my way, I went along for the ride. I sat in a corner while they spilled the beans on all the whoring he had been doing and I said not one word. It wasn’t a conscious decision to keep my knowledge to myself becuz I actually I knew one of the girls he was whoring with. I saw him coming out her bedroom with my own two eyes. The look on his face was priceless when he saw me by the way.

So they told Lisa. Lisa ran back to her man and asked him was it true. Lisa came back and told them what he told her: You bitter heffas (he actually inserted my friends’ names) need to mind your own damn business. Get your azz a man and stop being in everyone else’s business. The shyt is lies. Blah blah blah blah.

Same stuff I have been hearing ever after. *smh* I heard about it from my friends after she gave them an earful cuz my name wasn’t mentioned. Becuz I didn’t have shyt to say.

Do you know that MFer had the nerve to try to fuk me a few weeks later? Then told me I needed to grow up when I turned his azz down and gave him my reasons for turning him down. *smh* I still can’t believe I had to explain to him why I wouldn’t fuk him. Whatever. Water not just under the bridge but out to sea by now. Given the chance he would have fukked every one of the vocal friends too, I am sure.

I don’t even know how many times I’ve seen this mess replayed over and over. Ain’t a thing new under this here sun. *sigh* I’m tired. Thinking of cutting loose the women in my life cuz I swear, I’m tired of this shyt.

I always thought it strange that my mom didn’t have any girlfriends. As I get older I am seeing the wisdom of that. I wonder how I’d do as a hermit?

I like my drama to be fictional and not coming through my phone, computer screen or walking through my door.

*waves tiredly at the monitor*

Random Thoughts

I’ve been stopping by my old online stomping ground. The guy who runs the site is really talented. Love his cartoons. Anyway, they got hacked! Again! Geez, I wonder who they told to die this time. You gotta be real careful nowadays. Everyone’s fuses are so short. You never know who you are talking to online and what they are really capable of doing to you. So keep it civil folks. Just ignore them and they’ll go away. I know it worked for me. *chuckle*

I mean it’s not like elementary school. When the kids in the playground didn’t want to play with you then you were screwed cuz you couldn’t go anywhere else. This is the internet. If the kids at one playground don’t wanna play with you then you find a new playground. It’s really so simple…to sane people. Oh well, I hope he gets his site back up and running.

I been online most of the weekend at my new online stomping ground, Balleralert.com, listening to everyone else snowed in. One of the topics of discussion is: We are too hard on men sometimes!!! My answer is no. I didn’t even bother to join in the discussion. The letter is really crazy to me. The author of this open letter seems to think that we should be patting black men on the head for doing what men of other skin colors do just becuz they know that is their role. I guess black men aren’t supposed to have any roles in life except sperm donors. *shrug* Whatever floats this sister’s boat. If indeed it was even written by a sister or even a woman. I got my doubts. Open Letter: We are too hard on men sometimes!!!!

My new neighbor has been nothing but a source of amusement since yesterday. He is trying to get his girl out. *LMBO* That’s what he gets for using a chick for her vehicle. Now she won’t go home. I’d post pictures if it wouldn’t require me getting dressed and bundling up and going out to take said pictures. But he dug a path yesterday all the way to her car. She’s still here lmbo. This morning as he was going out to clear more snow I heard him tell her that she can go today. Her reply? “No.” And she shut his door. *LMBO*

Why can I hear Jennifer Holiday singing And I’m telling you, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’m not going! Oh mercy! I guess that’s what he gets for getting snowed in with a chick he didn’t love or even like apparently. As long as they keep the drama over there it should be all good. Cuz had the guy I had been laid up with all weekend tell me to get out you best believe I would get to stepping. And I wouldn’t be back. Chalk it up to the game and keep it moving. Never had that happen to me though. I guess being discerning has its rewards.

My friends say I’m picky. Whatever. I’ve never had an STD, never been ordered out of what I thought was my man’s house, and I’ve never had my butt beat by the other woman. Never had my car stolen by my boyfriend. Never had my exes outside my door at 2 am getting ready to fight each other. And the neighbors ready to call the po po. Never opened my man’s trunk to find an industrial size box of condoms that’s half empty and we don’t use condoms *lol* and his response to my question is I should be glad he loves me enough to use condoms. My personal favorite : NEVER HAD A GUY SEND ME HOME VIA PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AFTER SEX. *laugh till I choke*

Yeah, there are a lot of nevers I can throw out there. *chuckling* Love watching drama but I don’t like being involved in it. Especially not publicly.

TPL stopped talking to me for a minute last week becuz I said his kids are spoiled. *shrug* They are. But you cannot tell people bad things about their kids nowadays. As far as I can tell, most people who have kids think that their child(ren) is/are the most special since Jesus. Telling them their child is doing something wrong even when its staring them in the face can make you unpopular real quick. Whatever.

He’s the one who tells me these stories. Lol Every time his daughter gets mad with him she stops answering his calls on the cell he bought and pays for. *LMBO*

I wish I’d have tried some mess like that when I was a child in my mother’s home. Shoot, I still remember the day I called myself getting mad with my mother and telling her that I wasn’t speaking to her anymore. You know that woman put me out her house. Evidently God didn’t like it either cuz a thunder storm started. It poured buckets of water that afternoon. I stood out there for a while, too. We had a covered porch but eventually I came to my senses around dinner time lol.

We didn’t have cell phones back then but had we I know without a doubt if I didn’t wanna talk to my mother who is paying my cell bill then said cell would have been turned off. And who knows when it would have been turned on again. *smh* But his kids ain’t spoiled at all. *LOL* I don’t have enough energy to type out all the spoiled child stories but I will tell this one.

His kids compile a list of what they want on their birthdays and Christmas. For his son’s birthday one year they got him everything on his list but one thing. It was accidentally overlooked. Both his parents apologized (why I don’t know) and TPL promised he would buy it on his next payday. Now this child raked in almost a grand in cash and then he got toys and clothes. Do you know this boy sat and pouted and gave attitude at his birthday party becuz they forgot that one thing? *side eye over rims of glasses*

When I shook my head and said spoiled TPL’s response was: “Well, to be fair, on his list he wrote beside it that if you don’t get me anything else make sure you get this one thing.” Yeah but the oversight was explained and he ALL his other presents. He could wait and he should have been gracious to the other guests at his party who brought him gifts. But hey, he ain’t spoiled. *smh*

Everyone tells me I would feel differently if I had had kids. Thank you God for Your infinite wisdom in not letting me ever get pregnant. Sissy and my GFN are still trying to talk me into having a late life child. I keep looking at them like they are crazy. Christmas I said it again “I am 42 that ship has sailed.” Sissy of course came back with that’s how old our mother was when I was born. Me and my mother are two different people and times are different. Besides, I made a promise to my unborn kids that I wouldn’t have kids just for the sake of having kids no matter how bad I wanted them. If I could not find a man who wanted to commit to me and a life together and then commit to raising a family then I wasn’t having kids. It didn’t happen. Still waiting to be sad about it.

I imagine I will be one day. Especially as I get older and my friends become grandparents. But for now, I’m cool and my friends are enjoying the fact that I have no kids and can travel. *chuckle* Trying to get a Mardi Gras trip together for next year. I just don’t know if me traveling to a state that has drive thru daiquiri joints is a good idea. *chuckle* I do not believe I will be able to stay off the news. I’ll keep ya posted.

Other than that, life is blessed as always.

Stay warm and safe and dry folks! Go Saints!!!!! (I don’t do football but Bmore is beefing with the Colts and I be from Bmore lol)