My fb women's group

So we were having a little discussion in my women’s group on fb. I love my women’s group.  I’m gonna miss them when fb finally puts the coup de grâce on folks and makes people leave en masse.

Anyway, I’m gonna use initials because anything else will just confuse me when I’m a senior citizen trying to read through my younger ramblings.  Every now and again I run across an old journal and spend a few hours chuckling at myself and what was oh so devastating back then.  So I know this blog should give me days of entertainment someday.

So the couple that I gave until spring before they broke up and they made it to February was the topic.  TG is the girl and ES is the guy.  It has now been revealed that he had been seeing another woman seriously since at least January. *pursed lip eye roll*

So TC one of our resident brilliant – and published – writers said that she had not been exposed to people who find a new relationship before ending the current one.

I responded quick as you please that I needed to move to where she is because I’ve seen it so much in the Delaware, Maryland, Virginia area for YEARS that I thought it was the norm.  She didn’t respond to me.  I think she thought I was being smart mouthed but I wasn’t.

It is Sunday chore day and it got me to thinking about all the people who have done this, gone through the drama that A.L.W.A.Y.S. accompanies breaking up with one person after you’ve hooked another person and then lived to repeat the pattern and of course drama.

Now, I’ve never done it because I’ve seen the aftermath.  Think arrest, cavity searches and court cases.  Seriously.  It ain’t for me.

But whenever I’m approached by a guy and they ask my relationship situation, I respond single.  The next question is almost invariably: Do you have a friend with benefits.  No. I do not.  That’s when I get people telling me I’m lying.  Once I convince them I’m not lying then they look at me like I got 3 heads.

*head scratch*  Somewhere in the last 20 years people have decided that they can’t live without sex with another person or they will die.  I’m here to tell you today that you can survive an extended period of time without having sex with another human being.  Seriously.  You will not melt, die, go insane, become a homicidal maniac, commit suicide, rape animals, spontaneously combust, etc.

If anything, abstinence – once you get over the hornies and they are a devil – calms you.  You think before you leap.  Rational thought seems to be severely lacking nowadays.  Maybe all the sex people are getting and constantly seeking is the reason.

Something to think about.

See, I was a tomboy by happenstance.  My mother was very protective of her girl-child as a parent should be.  A parent should be very protective of every child.  Not to stop them from running, jumping, playing and such. No.  She never stopped me from doing that unless it was in the house. *chuckle*  But she protected me from the monsters out there.  The monsters in smiling adult faces who seek to destroy childhood innocence.  I blogged a bit about them in my men are nasty post.  I’ve since learned from men that men and women can be just as nasty to little boys.  It is a dangerous world out there folks.  Get off the cell phone and keep an eye on your children.  You can talk to them until you and they are blue in the face and they won’t understand until it is too late.  Think about when you taught them the stove is hot and not to be played with.  It wasn’t until they touched it and it hurt that they understood.  Same thing with stranger danger.

So anyway, we lived on Park Heights Avenue when I was between 18 months and 10 years old.  My mother did not allow me to cross the street.  Unfortunately, that’s where the little girls my age lived.  Across the street.

I wasn’t allowed to go but 3 houses away.  The only kids in that radius my age were boys.  So I became a tomboy outside and a girl in the house.  I was all dolls and such when I was playing in the house.  I was playing football, not touch or tag football but FOOTBALL, outside with the boys.  And these boys did not care that I was a girl.  I got sacked just like the guys and I wasn’t allowed to cry about it otherwise they just wouldn’t play with me anymore that day. 

No bullying or teasing, just you go sit down since you are hurt. 

SN: how did my generation raise such mean spirited and evil kids that they would goad other children into committing school shootings, suicide and such?  I think it is when people decided they didn’t need God in their lives that it happened.  When you don’t believe in consequences, Heaven, Hell or that God is watching and keeping score then you are free to do whatever pops into your head to do.  My blog.  My opinion.

So my point is that with all the time I spent in my formative years with guys it has always been easy for me to socialize with them.  Most of my friends’ men love me and I’m one of the few friends of their women they are always glad to see.  If your man doesn’t like me it is because he is not a good guy and he knows that I know it.  He also knows I know how to get rid of him.  It is such an odd thing, I can look a guy in the eye and know immediately.  We both know immediately that we ain’t gonna like each other.  It is always such an odd feeling, too.

Thanks AC., B., B., and B.  My years with y’all scrounging in the mud, climbing trees – yes there are trees in the city worth climbing – walking rooftops, jumping off garages, etc somehow helped me be a better judge of male character.

When I got to college all I dressed in was jeans, tees, and a ponytail.  Only time I was in a dress was for different Greek organization balls or when I ran out of laundry money.  Then I pulled out all the stops to remind the guys I was all girl. *chuckling remembering the results*

But I melded right in with a group of guys and those guys tried me, too.  I was attracted to a few in the group I hung out with.  Until I spent some time with them getting to know them.  The mask they show to girls gone and the real guy exposed.  Yeah.  I liked hanging with them but I wouldn’t have wanted not a one of them as my boyfriend.  A few were dating friends of mine and as long as they treated them right then I didn’t bust on them.

After a few of them tried to turn me into a friend with benefits and failed they assumed I was gay. *smirk*  I busted some egos when they found out I wasn’t.  *uncaring shrug*

But I sat there and listened to how they ran game.  How they slipped and slid around the rules they have in place for their women but didn’t necessarily follow themselves.

Like I said, men are nasty.  At the core of quite a few of them back in the day was crud.  Those crudballs have raised a whole new generation of crudball men and they are winning.  Most women don’t know their guy is a crudball until it is too late.

Like the little gremlin that is at the root of TG’s heartbreak.  Back in the day there was a guy on campus who he reminds me of in the looks department and he got zero women.  Now women are fighting over these little gremlins? *snort, gag, choke, guffaw*

I got to respect his skills even if I don’t respect his game play.  He will get his and I wouldn’t want to be standing next to him when he does.  That kind of stuff has the tendency to spill over onto whoever is with him.

Straight up, if your life ain’t going right and you KNOW you ain’t done anything that would make God mad, karma get in your butt, or what goes around come around to see you, then take a look at who you are hanging with and what they are doing.  More than likely they’re comeuppance is spilling over onto you.  Leave them alone immediately.

That ain’t 100% true all the time but it is always worth a check.

His game: it was revealed by TG that last year he was cheating on his girl with her.  The previous girl tried to warn her.  That leads me to believe that he did that with his previous girlfriend and that this is how he operates.  He sells women on love – no no # 1 in the player’s handbook – and then takes advantage of them until he finds his next mark.  There is a new one every year.  Last year was TG’s year.  This year it is some new chick.

This little gremlin mofo got TG to move from the top of the USA – I forget which state – to Georgia to be with him so that they could marry and start a life together after he graduated last year.  She just needed to foot the bills until he did.

This little gremilin mofo ain’t graduated yet and has moved onto a new girl.

Now, what leads me to believe we all might end up Dateline’s one black crime story of the year is the following:

TG refuses to let this ish go and accept that how she got him is how she lost him.  She keeps emailing his frat brother who assures her he is giving ES a hard way to go. *eye roll*  Meanwhile, ES has unfriended everyone BUT her dog.  So she is spying on his FB page through the dog’s page. *slow blink*

First off, your dog shouldn’t have a fb page unless it is a show dog or performer or you breed dogs. Period.  Anything else and you need to go outside and make some real life friends.

Second, her friends aren’t being friends.  First they told her that ES would not cheat on her when he wanted to go sleep over at another girl’s house. Still snickering about that mind you.  Then they aren’t being real with her.  They keep saying she just needs love and to vent.  No.  She needs to accept that this is her comeuppance for how she got him last year.  Accept that he is pond scum.  Accept that he is not going to put back on his nice guy façade and come back to her.  And accept that his frat brother is reading her emails and laughing at her more than likely with ES.

I find it real convenient that ES has unfriended everyone but the dog.  Come on now, she and the dog have the same last name and the dog’s pic is in his avi.  Then all his fb posts are about how wonderful his life is.  She believes he is lying because of the lies that his frat brother is telling her.

Let me tell you what I believe is going on.  The frat brother is trying to keep things smooth between the frat and their sister organization.  TG is pledging the sister organization and I think that is a HUGE mistake right now.  This is something she needs to put off at least a year until she has some distance between the break up and its aftermath.  She is 33 years old.  If she didn’t do it in undergrad and ain’t done it in all the years since, waiting a year won’t hurt her any.  Why the same chapter he and his new boo are in?  Yeah.  This is a bad idea all the way around and true friends would have told her so and convinced her otherwise.

And despite what she thinks, unless the frat brother is gay, he wants to screw her.

Every email he gets is another joke between the brothers.

Frat brother: Man! ES! You must have put it DOWN on this chick! *laugh laugh laugh* She is still emailing me tripping!

ES: What can I say, frat? What can I say?  Thanks for handling her for me.  Last thing we need is the hens in the sister organization to be all riled up.  I owe you.

Frat brother: You mind if I tap that when I get a chance?

ES: Naw man! Do you but you see how crazy she is. *laugh laugh laugh*

Frat brother: Crazy puzzi is the best man! *laugh laugh laugh*

ES: Well let me hip you to something dude…

The rest of that convo of what ES would share is confidential and was shared in the group and I don’t feel right sharing it here even though I ain’t naming names.  Just know ES is telling all her sordid little secrets.

She’s stalking him through the dog’s fb page, emailing the frat every other day, pledging the same chapter as him and his new boo, refuses to hear anyone saying anything disparaging against him, and she still believes he is a good guy, he’s just confused.

Yeah.  Right.  Uh huh.

I believe she is two steps away from killing her own dog, hanging the dog on his momma’s front door, and writing in the dog’s blood: You forgot to unfriend me, ES!!!!

It has been three weeks and she has not begun to move on.  People are trying to sugar coat this for her when she needs someone to wake her up.  Now!  Before I need a lawyer to tell the press: Ms Flake has no comment at the moment.  Her heart goes out to the families involved.

I’m sure the guys on OHN think it is amusing, too.  ES and TG met there.  I’m sure just like the OHNawlettes know what is going on, so do the OHNellows.  There was even a post regarding guys playing girls and how the poster didn’t think the guys should be taken to task for something we women allow to happen to us.  That is BS but that is a post for another day.

TG said the post made her feel some kind a way about it because she is in that situation now.  Yeah.  Not cute fellas.  If this mess gets messier and ends up a court case they will not find it funny when the FBI is crawling through OHN’s archives, pulling up fb chats and convos, skype transcripts, etc.

Makes me glad she doesn’t like me.  We don’t’ have more than a handful of convos and we are usually on opposing sides.  Ms. Flake ain’t got anything to comment on.  Thank you, Lord!

Add to the fact that most of the folk who met on OHN are engaged or have gotten married and she ended up with one of the duds.  Now tell me she doesn’t have a lot on her plate to make her not just a little crazy but a lot crazy.

Yeah, one of her friends needs to have a confidential offline chat with her.  They need to catch a plane, get in a car, reach her by caravan or something before this turns into a Fatal Attraction.  They may not think it is that serious but then I bet Amy Fisher’s family didn’t think it was serious either.  How about the female astronaut driving in a diaper to kill the wife of the guy she wanted?  Women can be just as crazy as men.  It doesn’t take much to push someone over the edge.  We have not walked with TG her whole life.  We don’t know what other things are swirling around in her head.  We don’t know if or how many times she’s been here before.

What I do know is that at the 3 week mark she should not still be emailing his frat brother, she should not be pledging the same chapter as her fresh ex and his new boo, and she should definitely not be stalking him through the dog’s fb page.

Did I mention she was one of the women who came out after me when I spoke to her avatar boyfriend one too many times on OHN?  Yeah.  One of her friends better get her and soon.

*goes to practice saying “No comment” in the mirror*

How to be a nice girl/woman and not get murdered - II

*Waves yogurt cup at monitor*

So I'm back with 5 more to add to my guide. I hope all the nice folks are still here with us or as many as could be saved.

6. Lock your doors and windows on both your home and vehicle. Sorry, you ain’t in Heaven yet and if you ain’t trying to go today I suggest you act like you know you are not in Heaven. Close and lock your doors and windows.

I don’t care where you live and how SAFE you THINK you are. If you live in a gated community then 9 times out of 10 you are gated in with your would be attacker. They are the handy man, gardener, property manager, real estate agent. They will be someone you either would trust or don’t notice going about their lives. They are watching you and you don’t even know it.

TRUE STORY: Happened just this past winter in Bmore. After one of our snowstorms a man knocks on a woman’s door asking to shovel her walk for an agreed upon price. He does the work, she pays him and he leaves. He also comes back later and rapes her.

The people you don’t think are thinking about you ARE thinking about you.

So lock it up for your own safety.

7. Get a weapon. Yeah, for serious or seriously. I would prefer you get something by Smith and Wesson or one of their competitors but if you are truly opposed to such things in your home may I suggest mace, pepper spray, and/or a taser? Keep something readily at hand everywhere you would be in your home no matter what you decide.

8. Get opaque window curtains…and close them when in any and all states of undress. I don’t care whether you have window blinds or window shades you still need opaque window curtains. I offer you this story as proof:

I believe I read this story in Westlaw while temping for a law firm. I was in my 20s then. A woman was raped by a man whose defense was that he was walking by her window one night and peeped in. After watching what she was doing HE DECIDED she could use his services and broke in and raped the woman. That was his defense. Seriously. You know he was found guilty and sent to jail. He was a total stranger to this woman but he thought she could use his services just from what she was doing. *smh* Now this woman has this horrible memory etched into her mind forever and by now he is probably out of jail messing up some other woman’s life.

Get thee to a window treatment department/store and get thee some opaque window curtains. Get some ties so that you can tie them back to let in the daylight if you must. But get them. I am debating about telling you my story…yeah I guess I might as well.

Like I said in Rule # 5, listen to your instincts. My instincts had been telling me that someone was watching me in the mornings as I dressed. But I just told myself I was getting silly in my old age cuz I had blinds. They were closed and I had parked behind my apartment one evening and looked up at my bedroom windows and saw nothing. I had even left my lights on so that I would be sure that you couldn’t see through my blinds.

Yeah…what I didn’t know was that if you stood in a certain spot you could see right into my well lit bedroom and watch me dress and undress. I can’t understand why anyone would do this but low and behold whoever he was he couldn’t keep it to himself. I was dressing one morning and I heard these guys talking behind my building and making comments about various parts of some chick’s anatomy.

Now what are the odds that there could be two women standing naked in their bedrooms? Well, take into account that on one side of me was a dude’s apartment both upstairs and downstairs. The apartment on the other side was empty and the chick that lived downstairs from me had already left for work. The apartment under the empty apartment had an elderly widower in it. Yup, they had to be talking about me especially after I bent over and I heard the azz comments.

I stood up with my towel and turned off the lights and ended the show, PERMANENTLY. *smh* Please tell me the point of all that? And yes, I had the chance to ogle an attractive male neighbor in his state of undress once. I glanced briefly and kept it moving. He had his blinds and curtains wide open so he really couldn’t expect but so much privacy. I on the other hand, had closed my blinds I just didn’t know that they had a weak spot. So, I lived and learned. You live and learn from these two experiences please and get opaque curtains for every window in your home. EVERY WINDOW!!!! I don’t care how small the window, a perverted mind will find a way to make it work for them. Don’t give them an in.

9. If held up, don’t argue with the criminal. Give him/her anything they ask for except your life. If they try to snatch your purse, let that thing go…I don’t care if it’s your favorite. You came into this world naked and you are going out the same way. You gonna look real stupid at the Pearly Gates trying to explain that to whoever is on duty. (I do not believe St. Peter is there all the time, he was one of Jesus’ favorites you know. He and Jesus might like to get together and chat from time to time. IJS)

*holding up hands* Yes, I know the principle of the thing. It is yours and they don’t have a right to it. But on the real, I’ve found that no matter what people take from you by force or trickery it almost always finds its way back to you in some way shape or form. And it profits the person doing the stealing nothing. So let it go already.

10. Pay attention to your surroundings. Again, stop bouncing around like Pollyanna, Gidget, Sandra Dee, and Snow White. It’s okay to look around as you are going about your day. Pay attention to what is going on around you. I know it is the norm today to plug in and zone out but for real…when you are a nice person you can’t afford to do that. Cuz while you are zoning out a person with bad intentions may be zoning into you. There are worse people out there than Hello Kitty Slut.

TRUE FAMILY STORY: I was to meet my oldest sister at her home. It was winter time and well after 7 pm so it was dark. I was driving at the time and arrived early so I sat in my car and waited. Though I have a key to her home, she has a security system and I can’t remember the code for jack. *embarrassed chuckle*

Anyhoodles, I saw her car pass me. I had purposely left the spot in front of her door open for her to park. I waited till she parked and gathered up her belongings to get out of her car. She was wearing a big bulky coat which prevented her from seeing anyone in her peripheral vision. That was why I was shocked when she got out her car without looking behind her, even after I SLAMMED my car door as I walked away from it. Now since she had parked not another car had come down the street. That fact alone would have made me turn toward the sound but my sister kept moving like she heard nothing. I walked up behind her and followed her up her steps. I stood and waited patiently behind her as she opened her door.

Now I thought she would surely turn and see me behind her as she tried to close her door but…she…SHE NEVER TURNED AROUND!!!! Instead she continued into the house leaving the door ajar to put down her purse and bags. Then she removed her coat AND THEN she turned to shut and lock the door.

WTH???? I was already in her house and she had no clue I was behind her. The look of shock on her face when she finally turned and saw me would have been funny if not for how serious the situation really was. What if I had been someone who wanted to harm her?

If a criminal had wanted her car, they could have had it. If they’d wanted to rape her, they could have done it. Or worse…*smh*

Is my sister a nice person? She has done wonderful things for children from all walks of life, socioeconomic backgrounds, and skin colors. She is one of those unsung heroes. And for donating so much of her life and time to the future, children, I think that makes her a great person. *side-eye* Our relationship, however, is another story. God ain’t through with either of us, yet. Regardless of our relationship I would never wish her any harm. That is the truth.

So this is what I got right now…I got a few more rolling around in my head and will update when I get a chance. My job is kicking my azz right now. *smh exasperated* But I gotta eat, shyt and sleep so to work I go. In the meantime, take heed and take care.

You can also find this guide on my friend Hello Kitty Slut's website: http://hellokittyslut.com/

*tips water bottle at monitor*

How to be a nice girl/woman and not get murdered

DISCLAIMER: This is purely for informational purposes. I cannot guarantee that after following my advice you still won’t end up being murdered. A psychopath could kill you on a whim just cuz they want to know what it is like to kill someone. *shrug* Hope to see you on the other side so we can discuss what went wrong.

I like to watch tv shows like 48 Hours, Dateline, and Primetime. In case you are oblivious to the existence of the aforementioned programs, these shows report on true life murders/crimes. Mostly murders but 48 Hours recently ran a series of shows where people survived.

Anyhoodles, what I notice about the majority of the victims on these shows is that they are always categorized as nice folk. Especially the women. A lot of them have person after person just talking about what a good, kind, nice person they were.

After awhile I started to see some of my characteristics in some of the victims. One I caught on Dateline was a girl who was an active environmentalist. Her one and only mistake that I could see was in trying to be nice to the wrong guy. He was the roommate of one of her good friends. He was shy, quiet and awkward. She went out of her way, by her friend’s report, to have him join in on their social gatherings. Trying to help him break out of his shell. She never slept with him or even shared a chaste kiss. But becuz she was nice to him he took it to mean that they were in a relationship and that she was his girlfriend. Then she actually started dating a guy. What sent him over the edge was when they either got engaged or were about to move in together. I forget now which one was the catalyst that set him off and made him murder her.

I’m that person who will go out of their way to make shy people feel comfortable and join in. Believe it or not I was a shy child. A concerned teacher and parent later and I had a few friends and I was a normal sociable child. One of my jailbird family members was shy as a boy. A concerned aunty (MOS) and he too became a normal sociable child. *pause* Hmm, maybe the lesson here is to let shy males alone? That requires some thought and…research.

Next victim of note is a bit more personal though I never met her. My friend TPL’s sister. His sister was the youngest and only girl her parents had. From all accounts she was a sweetheart. She was the one who remembered birthdays and anniversaries. She was close to and loved her family dearly and kept in daily contact even though she was out on her own with her live in boyfriend.

TPL’s mom spoke to her daughter for the last time the day before TPL’s birthday. The next day she failed to call TPL with birthday greetings and that is how they knew something was wrong. The motive for her murder is believed to be that she wanted to break up with her live in boyfriend. He maintains his innocence despite witness accounts to the contrary so they have never gotten the real story. You know the murderer is out walking free now? *smh* USA, we have got to do better.

I am the family/friend constantly in contact via phone, email, text, and of course tweet. You can’t get away from me. *chuckle* But it keeps me apprised of what is going on and who needs a bit of cheer or dinner or a couple dollars…I ain’t got the cash but I can listen to you whine about being broke. *shrug*

See the pattern yet?

Lastly, yet most recently, was the girl from Maryland killed by her boyfriend just days shy of their college graduation date becuz she wanted to break up with him. He had begun getting violent.

Again this young 22 year old woman was said to be nice, kind and she did not have a mean bone in her body.

I would like to think that is how people would describe me. I go out of my way to be nice to everyone I meet. I don’t always make it but I do try my best. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t. I am only human and some people go out of their way to make you forget being nice.

These stories above and the many I have watched over the years lead me to believe that our society here in the US of A hates nice people. It has to otherwise a killer would get an instant death penalty to be carried out right after the verdict for murdering nice people.  No appeals, just bye bytch bye.  Tell it to God cuz we are done with you.

I think people believe that if you are nice that you have never had a hard day in your life. That’s just not true. You’ve never walked in my shoes so you don’t know about my troubles, trials and hardships.

As the saying goes, if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence than you can bet your azz that the water bill is higher, too.

The 22 year old whose boyfriend killed her suffered the loss of her father. Speaking as a person who lost a father at a young age, that shyt can be devastating. Didn’t know her story but I’m just saying.

TPL’s sister grew up in the same area I was born in. East Baltimore projects. To make it out of there and become a productive member of society is a HUGE accomplishment. And to still be a nice person on top of it is AWESOME!

I can’t speak to the hardships of the first girl becuz Dateline didn’t go into her life before said psycho entered it. But after her death her family and friends joined in and continued her environmental conservation work. That’s the kind of person she was. What she wanted to do was so inspiring that she inspired others to continue her work after death and she had lived less than 2 dozen years on this planet. The leader of the pack, her uncle, was a diehard resistant to recycling while she lived.

So it seems that since you people will not stop killing nice people nor put in place the proper punishment for those who do kill nice people someone is going to have to come up with a survival guide for nice people. I figure what the heck I’ll give it a try since I’ve lasted 42 years. Most of the nice girls/women on those programs died in their 20s-30s and didn’t make it this far. If I can get a couple of you all to last a little longer maybe you can continue your good works and make the world a nicer place longer. I’m just saying and trying.

The following are just my top 5.  As I come up with more tips I will add to them.

Survival Tips for Nice People:

1. This first lesson is the hardest to know, accept and understand. It is just this, as beautiful and wonderful as this world can be it is just as cold, vile, ugly and mean. Nice is often seen as a weakness. A weakness that will be exploited, trampled upon and destroyed if it can be. Misery loves other miserable company. Don’t let them destroy your nice side just learn how to protect it. You don’t have to wall it away, just be smart about it.

Open yourself up to both the good and bad in people and respond (or don’t) appropriately is the best I can tell you.

2. Know who you are dealing with.  Be it your momma, your daddy, sister, mister, doctor, lawyer, beggar man, thief, son, daughter, nephew, niece, school teacher, mechanic, or Indian chief. MOST ESPECIALLY YOUR SPOUSE/PARTNER or whatever you call them! Know who you are dealing with!

Get to know the people in your life. A lot of nice people are knocked off by friends and family members. Make sure they know your ups and downs too so that they don’t get jealous of your ups.

Get to know their likes and dislikes. Do you know how to get under their skin and how not to? Most importantly, you need to know how to get them out of your life if they should turn toxic. That goes for everyone including mommy and daddy. Everyone who is fertile is not fit to have children. Watch an episode of The Nanny for further clarification.

Oh and don’t let me forget your offspring and your bestest friend in the whole wide world. I have seen more than one story of kids who killed their parents for the inheritance. You little monkey headed MFs! Your inheritance is that you had wonderful loving parents who didn’t molest or abuse your unworthy azzes! Be honest with yourself, parents, sometimes despite your best efforts, your kid is just born bad and ain’t shyt you can do but save the lives of your other loved ones and cut their azzes loose. 48 Hours did a story about a guy who killed momma, daddy, and his only brother all so he could have the inheritance for himself. He had them murdered right as they all returned home after a celebratory dinner in his honor. *smh*

Lastly, don’t let anyone you had to put out of your life back in your life unless they can demonstrate that they have TRULY changed their ways for the better. Even then keep them at arms’ length. That keeping your enemies close shyt is only for Greek Tragedies and pay special attention to the fact that they are tragedies for a reason.

3. Pay close attention to the men you let in your life. Regardless of your sexual orientation! If you are straight there is always some man that thinks he is the perfect man for you. He might be perfect for you and then again he could be the perfect hell for you that will lead you to an early grave.

If you are homosexual, there is always that man that thinks he could change your sexual orientation.

TRUE STORY: I once worked with a woman, let’s call her Marge, who was in a committed relationship with a woman. When her partner, let’s call her Sue, came out to her family Sue and her sister kind of stopped speaking. So Marge helps Sue reconcile with her sister. Well the sister is married to an absolute jerk. EVERY chance he gets he lets Sue know that she shouldn’t be gay cuz he has plenty of male friends he could hook her up with. WTH? Family functions and vacations this man wears her ear out trying to entice her back to the heterosexual side.

*wise eye*

My question is why is it so important that Sue un-gay herself? Does he have a specific friend in mind? Is the “friend” him? See if I was his wife, Sue’s sister, I would ask him quite indelicately why does he give a rat’s azz who her sister is sexing? But that’s just me. I am nice as peas until you say or do something that wakes up my Project Bytch side. And my husband constantly telling my sister she needs to stop being gay would be one of them. But those two nice women just sat in uncomfortable silence while he went on and on about it until one day Marge finally put him in his place. *eye roll* I’d a done that the first time he opened his mouth but again…that’s just me. Just cuz you are nice does not mean you have to be weak and meek.

4. You are gonna have to stop bouncing around like Pollyanna, Gidget, Sandra Dee, or Snow White. Yeah I know the first three went over the younguns' heads. Google them! Sorry, but they don’t make movies with nice girls/women in them anymore unless they are about to get murdered. *shrug* That’s why it is so amazing that people still turn out to be nice. Maybe it is the natural state of mankind. Of course there are exceptions but for the most part *nods head*…something to think about.

Anyway, stop bouncing around like the world is a wonderful place and there is no evil in it. There is evil in it and you are surrounded by it. Your happiness just draws that evil that much closer to you. Remember elementary school science class: opposites attract. Your niceness will attract all types of people who are far from nice.

Yes, you will also attract other nice people. We are not worried about the other nice people. It’s the psychopaths, sociopaths, etc. and the like people we are worried about. Just be aware, sweetie. That is all I am saying.

When you meet new people please please PLEASE refer back to Rule # 2 on this guide. You have a choice about who you let into your life. Choose wisely.

5. Listen to your instincts in any and all given situations. If YOU feel something isn’t right about a person, place and/or thing then something is not right about that person, place and/or thing. Whatever it is may not be readily visible or discernable but if your fight or flight response turns on, or your spidey sense tingles or your left ear twitches *chuckle* whatever your danger response is, if it kicks on then listen to it.

Take my new friend Hello Kitty Slut for instance. Now, though my stranger danger sense hasn’t kicked in…yet. *chuckle* I am still approaching her crazy azz cautiously. I would love to jump all in feet first as is my happy go lucky way. But my happy go lucky way has led me into some truly dangerous situations. I am not at all sure that I won’t end up at a bukake party with this heffa. I am not saying I am opposed to a bukake party; I just need to know who all these folk are! DJM Everyone has their kinks. As long as it is consensual and everyone is at the age of consent, do you. *shrug*

Those are my top 5 and that’s all I got for now. Hope this proves helpful to some of y’all nice folk who make the world a nice place.

*tips water bottle at the monitor and salutes with a pretzel*