I was right...

She just confirmed my suspicion. She is thinking about having sex with the diseased peen! *smh* I told her to do her.

W.O.W.

Also, I read over the other crazy coworker's post and it is actually NINE pages long. It only captures the nonsense up to May 2011. So much more happened after that. *lol* I won't be updating or posting. I know what I need to know about her and I'm over it.

These two call themselves Christians. *glances Heavenward* I wonder what Bible they are reading from because I swear the ones (yes, plural) that I've read from don't have the Lord Jesus doing any of this.

*skips off to find caffiene*

Coworker vent...

Sometimes I really do think I am crazy. That perhaps I should be on meds. I think this because people look at me like I'm crazy for not only backing their nonsense but joining in on it. Sometimes, I think that perhaps I should join them in their drama and insanity. Then I go home, have a nice dinner, chat with some folks and got to bed. Then I wake up and realize that I ain't that crazy yet.

So, I've been aluding to but never posting about one of my coworkers. That is because after the post about her got over seven 8-1/2 x 11 inch pages with 1 in margins long and I still wasn't finished with her story, I stopped typing and called TPL. I figured with as many lies as he's told he should be able to sort her out. He gave me part her, that she is one of those people that likes people to feel sorry for her. That felt partially right, then I got the other part of her a couple weeks ago. She likes people to feel sorry for her so that she can beg from them for her needs while spending her money on her wants. It was working up until her birthday.

Incredibily long story made short and simple: After much drama and gifts from her that include a car, her husband kicked her out of the section 8 house. *chuckle* So that was in September. She hated him blah blah blah. Fast forward to December and he throws her a birthday party. *blink blink* At the section 8 house that he kicked her out of in the first place. And only 3 people showed up...and she's mad because more people didn't show.

She said she 'was feeling some kinda way about it for a while but she was over it now'. Her exact words. I felt like calling her out her name and saying: You have taken everyone - friends, family, and coworkers - on a rollercoaster ride for the last 3 years with this ninja that ended in him taking your cell phone bill money to bail his sister out of jail for assaulting her boyfriend and then kicking you out the house and you're mad because more people didn't show up at HIS house for a birthday party for you because you two have kinda sorta made up. For real?

I was speechless. I let her talk and when all I could say in a voice as flat as I could get it was "Oh. Wow." she left my office. smh

Then the other one is talking about hooking up with her baby daddy because she's horny. Normally, this wouldn't even be a blip on my radar because people do this all the time. However, the last time she had sex with him, he gave her chlamydia and her blood tests now show she has been "exposed" to Herpes. Apparently, now you can be exposed to Herpes without getting it. *shrug* I can only keep up with so much. Anyhoodles, I'm looking at her like she has lost her mind and she's whining that she's horny.

O...k...fine...but that ain't the only dinga in Maryland. Why not try something new and get it tested before you do it or at least wear a condom. *sniggle* Now, I don't feel bad about using hand sanitizer after the last time she touched my hand. *sniggle* I felt bad then but not now.

I'm 44 years old and by the grace of God, I've never had an STD/STI. Not that I was particularly that careful, I was just blessed until I smartened up. So for me to get one now and have to go through the embarrassment at my doctor's office? Trust and know that the last thing on my mind would be having sex with a guy who gave me an STD/STI again. Killing him and hiding the body? Yeah. I'd go to sleep fantasizing about it. Having sex with him again? Please don't make me smack you.

These two prove to me daily that stupid comes in all colors. smh I won't lie and say I don't miss the feel of a man beside me and inside me but...errr...uhhhh...I don't miss it that much. It truly ain't that serious.  Especially since I know there is a) plenty of dinga out there and b) a lot of it is even clean dinga.

I told her to change her numbers and seek some counseling. I bet she is still in there dreaming about diseased peen. smh

To each his/her own.

Just in case I suddenly disappear...

*cue Twilight Zone music*

So…it has been a strange day.  A very hectic day.  I just want to go on record as stating that if I suddenly stop writing one day, and some Info-techno-anthropologist someday finds these missives and wonders whatever happened to the writer the crazy white guy on my job probably went off and did us all in.

*serious face*

No, there isn’t any one thing that I can put my finger on as believing that he will explode.  It is just a feeling I can’t quite shake that there is something not quite right about him.

Let me just say that he is in a managerial position and he’s had it for longer than a year.  Every day it is more and more evident that he doesn’t know what he is doing.  He doesn’t remember what was discussed even a few hours ago let alone the day before or last week.

Case and point: I was working on sending several subcontract modifications out for one of his accounts today.  He and the coordinator in charge of the project were standing in my doorway going back and forth.  He was swearing that he had given me a modification that he hadn’t last week.  I was about to pull up the email so he could see that he hadn’t given it to me on Friday.  When he finally paused for a breath the coordinator said: I just gave it to you this morning.

The look that passed between them! Wow! All I could think of was the line from A Perfect Murder: That’s not happiness to see me. *concerned sound*

At that point I closed my office door.  This is the second time the two of them have been in my office trying to prove to each other that the other one is wrong in less than a week.  So far he is O for 2.  The last time they were both wrong and I didn’t even bother to correct them.  In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t necessary for them to be right.  It was only important that what needed to get done, got done.  And thanks to me and my boss, it did.

He gets more and more frustrated at his own mistakes.  Then he tries to play it off like he’s not frustrated or angry and everything is good. *skeptical all day long*  Everything is definitely not good.  He’s working with the wrong person’s accounts to be messing up.  There’s an ocean between him and this woman and she can still raise hell from where she is.  I’ve seen her in action. It was not pretty.

There’s so much more to add to this but I just don’t feel like going into it right now.  But I thought I’d go on record as saying something about him ain’t right.  I just got a weird feeling about the guy.  Like I said there isn’t an instance that I could go to personnel and say: Hey! He’s crazy! This is why. Do something about him.  It is just a feeling.

So if I disappear, look for news on office shooting in downtown Baltimore. *sips eggnog with shaky hand*

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!

*dramatic pause and exasperated chuckle* They sucked me back in!!!! *smh at myself* I made the mistake of checking my email yesterday and found everyone was looking for me. I left a fb message but evidently when I deactivated the acount it did so immediately. I could have sworn the last time one of my fb buddies left fb their page was up for a couple days before it disappeared. So I had to sign back on to let everyone know I was fine.

Jeez! I'm turning into a drama queen online! *smh* And that truly isn't my intention. But I have cut back. That layout truly is horrible. They don't have to worry about me being on fb often. Ugh! I guess I am a very linear person after all. It is kind of set up like the front page of a newspaper that is run by lunatics now. There are way too many blocks on the screen and each one has something different going on in it. They offered me a tutorial.

*blank stare*

If I need a tutorial on it then it isn't entertainment. It is work. I get paid to work. I ain't seen a dime from fb.

I did make sure everyone had my email to contact me and my skype. *chuckle* Yes! I skype now. I haven't given out my new cell because I'm not happy with this service so I may be switching and changing numbers again. The person who had this number previously has a lot of bill collectors calling looking for him and I am not so inclined to call them back and let them know this isn't his number anymore. *lip smack* Not my job. My phone is always on vibrate when I'm at work. My family has my office number so if it is an emergency they can call me directly. So during the day these calls go straight to my voicemail and I delete them.

*eyeroll* So I ain't feeling this service or number too much. *sighs* Glad I went with pay as you go before signing up for a plan.

Anyways, I'm back on fb but I think I did detox *chuckle* because I don't feel like I need to be on there. Yesterday was truly weird with the migraine and queasiness.

Facebook withdrawal...

*pained groan* It is day 3 of no FB and I woke up this morning to a migraine and my stomach turning. Is this even possible? I haven't had a drop of alcohol this weekend. I started to have some spiked eggnogg last night and I'm glad I didn't because I'd be blaming that this morning. I just broke down and took 3 extra strength Tylenol. I am laying here waiting for them to kick in.

*groan* I can't believe this is from no FB. Can it? I know yesterday the melody from one of the games kept playing in my head. lol Then I went shopping and was going to make a recipe from my cooking group and remembered I never copied the recipe over. *sighs* I'll figure out something to do with the ingredients. They will not go to waste. That is if I can get rid of this migraine. I am not in the mood for food right now. *halfhearted smile*

Facebook is a devil and I decided to stop being its bytch.

*half smirk* As of 12:10 am EST today I deleted my account. I got a preview of the new change to fb and decided it was time to jump ship. *eye roll* Way too much information coming at me on opening the damn thing and no way to turn it off.

From my 14 - 15 months on fb I found that I am easily sucked into it. I've signed on to it on a Saturday morning just to say GM and check my games *chuckle* and then planned to head out to do errands. Low and behold 2 hours later I'm still there! So the new format would not have worked for me and my real life offline. *chuckle*

Now, however, I'm going through withdrawals! lol I quit twitter last year. I can only breeze by OHN and BA gets quiet around the holidays. People got ish to do.

I use blogs and fb to fill in the space as I wait for people to reply to emails, return calls, conference calls, etc. So now what do I do with my time. I hate waiting for anything. My mind always has to be occupied with something and now I have dead air. Maybe it is time to job hunt again?

I know, heffa what? lol I just need something to do at all times. Last night after I deleted my account, I turned off my laptop and lay in bed with my legs shaking. *chuckle* The withdrawals had started.

Oh man oh man...

The Auto Auction

So let me start this at the beginning. So our present governor, Martin O’Malley, is a complete azz. He has raised the taxes on everything and cut back on everything all so that he can say he left Maryland with a billion dollar surplus when he runs for president. I can taste his presidential run. Do not vote for this man, America.

Anyway, MTA in Baltimore does not go your fukking way. Tuesday, I had the worse ride home. I had so many different people’s pelvises pressed up against me I swear I needed a cop, a CSI, a bath and counseling by the time I got off the bus.

So, Wednesday I had taken the day off to do some errands. Nothing like doing errands on a week day when most kids are in school and most adults are at work. I remembered that Baltimore’s impound lot has their auction every 2 weeks on a Wednesday. Lucky me, or so I thought, they were having one on my day off.

I figured if nothing else, I’d spend a few hundred dollars on a car that would get me from point A to point B and spare me the little piece of Hell that is Maryland MTA presently.

My last car was bought at the Bel Air auto auction and it ran great until I sold it. It needed more work than I wanted to put into it after a few years. I sold it to someone who worked on hoopties and everyone was happy. Gas prices were/are on a rollercoaster ride. I figured I’d wait it out. I didn’t know O’Malley would lose his damned mind and shut down mental homes and just release them into the streets of Baltimore with the rest of the moderate crazies. Can’t tell who is who anymore.

Bay…be. The stories I could sit here and type if carpal tunnel were not a factor.

Anyway, I woke up to a warm rain and thought maybe that would work in my favor. That perhaps the crowd wouldn’t be too thick. I’d never been there before. If nothing else, I appreciate the experience. I hope I never have to go back.

It was one of the most desolate places I’ve ever visited. I’ve been in cheerier cemetaries. While in the Caymans I took a tour to a little spot called Hell. I don’t have any pictures because it disturbed my soul. This place could have been Hell’s parking lot.

It was raining so everything was muddy. There was no grass. Not even WEEDS!!!! You know weeds grow any and every damn where. But nothing grew there. The mud was cracked like in a desert. I didn’t want to step in it for fear that I’d track something toxic back out of the gates and into the world.

Sound dramatic? Well, that’s how I saw it. Can’t help that.

There were rows and rows of cars in different states of death and decay. Some didn’t look too bad, like maybe their owners just didn’t have the money to pay their fines and get them back. While others looked like they had been there since they were new. There were actual burnt out cars, which stressed my soul because I wondered were there people in them when they caught fire. Several accident wrecks that made me wonder about the condition of the people who last rode in them. Then there were a couple vehicles with some suspicious dried blood colored splotches in them.

You’d have thought that would have been enough to send my azz right back out the gates and back to civilization, right? Well, there is nothing civilized about Baltimore’s transit system anymore so I stayed.

At the Bel Air Auto Auction, you are allowed to come and inspect the cars the day before auction and 2 hours prior to auction. Then you go and sit or stand in a large open air building and they drive each vehicle into the building and you bid there. In a covered building. Protected from the elements.

At the Baltimore Impound Lot…they put one of those bull horns atop a small city pickup truck. You know, one of those small trucks that is about the size of a VW Beetle. I can’t tell a Lexus from a Lincoln so I never know the name of any vehicle that I’m not responsible for.

In front of the pickup with the bull horn is another vehicle with a driver and a guy with a clipboard. The guy with the clipboard is key here. He calls out the numbers of the cars to be auctioned off. He yells off the numbers to the auctioneer. The auctioneer is the poor sucker who gets to walk the impound lot with us bargain hunters looking for a deal.

For nearly two fricking hours I walked out there in the rain, in the cracked mud, among abandoned vehicles. There were a couple trucks that made me sick in my heart. They were definitely workman’s trucks. Someone who was a skilled laborer. Their tools were still in the bed of the trucks. They sell as is at the Baltimore Impound lot. So how ever they got them, that’s how you get them.

We passed one car with a condom sitting up on the dashboard. I hope dude had a back up. People’s lives were still in these cars. Telling stories. *hunches shoulders* It was too creepy. I didn’t buy anything.

Not that I didn’t bid. Old cracked faced, tanning booth, biddy kept out bidding me! Heffa! After a while I got pissed and bid on one she was about to get dirt cheap. Like for $200. I had zero interest in this vehicle with four flattened tires. I was just pissed that she had outbid me on every vehicle I had been interested in. I refused to let her get this one dirt cheap. My dumb azz bid $450 on this vehicle that would surely need to be towed, repaired, excised, blessed, and a miracle performed on it to even get it to turn over. I am sure she just wanted it for parts. There were a few people there buying up junk cars.

Anyway, after my bid, I just knew she was going to nod $500. Heffa turned and walked away. I almost yelled: Bytch get your old azz back here and buy this damn car! *chuckling* That learned my azz. For a minute there I almost had it. My heart sank at having to fork over $450 on a vehicle I knew didn’t work. Then her partner called to her and she looked back at it and nodded to him. Then he bought it. *relieved sigh*

But through it all, I had to stifle the urge to shudder at the scene before me. At one point it was raining so hard and there were so many people that I didn’t put up my umbrella because it just would have been hitting people in the head. A thought ran through my mind real fast: I hate buying junk.

There it was. I hate spending my hard, hard, hard, HARD earned money on junk. I stayed the whole auction, even through the scooter auction but I didn’t buy a thing.

And I didn’t feel bad getting my azz back on the bus to go home either.

I’ve decided I’m going to try my best to be a very good person in this life. I am hoping to make it to Heaven. I am hoping that God will ask me is there anything special I want if/when I get to Heaven. And I’ll reply, Yes, Lord. Let me chose O’Malley’s purgatory. I don’t think it is too bad. He gets to ride a bus for a millennium or two. Just getting on sardine packed tight buses and getting off to wait in the heat, rain, cold, snow, hail, etc for a couple thousand years. Having total strangers pressing their private parts against his body. See how he likes having a guy’s pissy smelling crouch beside his face while he’s sitting down on an overcrowded bus on a summer’s day with no AC or *excited yell* OR on a cold winter’s day with the heat so high it feels like it is 100 degrees Fahrenheit and you’re melting inside your winter coat. See how he likes having crazy people talk to him about whether or not they will die poor and he hasn’t even made eye contact with these loons.

Oh yes…yes yes yes yes yes! I’m betting they’ll be others in Heaven that will have even better ideas and we’ll have a millennium or two to make sure he feels our pain. I’ll be sure to show him just as much mercy and consideration as he’s shown the working class citizens of Maryland.

*sighs* I bet I have some good dreams tonight. ‘Night…