The book I just read

I just finished reading Never: An erotic retelling of Peter Pan by Elizabeta Brooke. *shifts pelvis* That story was awesome. It was so delicious. I find it kind of surprising because there were quite a few homo sex scenes. At 44 I don’t go in for that stuff at all. But I enjoyed reading it nonetheless. They didn’t arouse me but they did captivate me if that makes sense.

The book was so lush with yummy descriptive details that I just wanted to go talk to someone who enjoys and loves men as much as I do. But there is no one so I come to talk to my future self. Or perhaps some passerby. *smile*

Yes, I have my women’s group. I’ve got two now actually. One my women’s group and the other my writers’ group. But nowhere to just sit back and talk to women who enjoy men. Most of them are going through issues with men or lack of men in some cases right now. Some I can relate to and some I can’t. Yes, men have their issues and are nasty. We women have our issues and can be nasty too. The difference is that men seem to be more willing to put up with us than we are willing to put up with them. They don’t want to change while we do nothing but change. It is an interesting conundrum. But I didn’t come to talk about that.

OHMIGOSH!  That book stirred so many thoughts and feelings in me. I loved the torture! Yes! I typed that out loud! Ha ha!  Believe it or not there was a triumphant feeling behind that declaration. At the end of that book I just felt like going out and living in the moment! But of course that is not possible.

In Never Land (yes spelled like that) the men are all sterile yet virile and both men and women have all been tested. You can have your way with them or they can have their way with you with no thought to the repercussions like here in the real world. I wonder would someone give me money to invest in such a business venture? A fantasy island where all your most decadent dreams can come true? Or does it already exist and the price is well out of my range? *sighs*

That is the danger in these type stories. They make you want to do reckless things and I have no one to talk me down. *chuckle* And I do need to be talked down. This world we live in is a brutal and unforgiving place. The one who usually talks me down is my BFL but she would never read such a book. At least I don’t think she would. One never knows. Maybe I’ll bring it up at our next lunch.

*insert bad French accent* Still, zee ideas zay gets me! *chuckle* I wonder will I still remember what the previous sentence and accent are from when I am old.  I wonder will I pull out this book and read it again when I am old or will it be too much of a reminder of my regrets.

I’ve never done anything sexually that I felt the need to be scrubbed afterward. I mean I have done something sexually that made my shamed afterward but that had more to do with my conscience than my morals. Or are those one in the same? *shrug* Anyway, it was more of who I did it with than what we did.

I’ve done the outside thing, the freaky positions, the voyeurism, etc. I turned the lesbian experience down. I just truly don’t feel women like that. *shrug* I’m allowed to be as hetero as they are allowed to be homo.

I just would like to do something that will have me getting close to the pearly gates where the Bible says you will be cleansed and given a new white robe and St. Peter will look up and go “Oh not you already! Everyone behind her take a seat. It is gonna take a minute to get her clean!”

*chuckle* Not just something bad but something deliciously bad that I will enjoy. Something that will have me grinning sheepishly at St. Peter awful sorry I’m caught but not terribly sorry about the fun I had. But those memories will be washed away. I won’t regret a thing because I won’t remember it.

Do I believe that? Of Course! Somewhere in the Bible it says as you believe so it shall be. That’s why I’m real careful about who I condemn to Hell. I ain’t through living yet. I might end up on the same level of sin of some folks. One never knows. So I try to condemn folks to Purgatory for a millennium or two. That gives me some wiggle room too.  I might need that wiggle room if I ever get to my Never Land.

Of note is that I pretty much figured out the ending. If I had remembered one key detail I’d have had it 100% right. *chuckle* And I love the little f@#k you she left behind for the man who thought he controlled her. Why do men always try to control us? Why don’t they work on controlling themselves instead? The world would be a safer place.

So I’m going to go sit and think about that book again. I might even open it up to the part with the twins. *sighs* I never thought of having twins before. *wiggles eyebrows* And have an “If Only” moment.

*tips water glass at the monitor*