Tell Uncle Sam to stick a fork in me because I’m done!

*banging head on table*



*lifts head to type*

I need a new job. Like yesterday. In a whole other field. Please and thanks.

So this week is my department’s all department meeting. All. Week.

I come in earlier and leave later every day. *shrug* It is what it is and it only happens once a year plus it is offsite.

This afternoon, I knew it was time to find not just a new job but a new field all together. Seriously. All. Jokes. Completely. Aside.

This ain’t a See What Had Happened Was tale at all.

At the lunch break I did my little internet updates and then headed back to the meeting early to get a good seat. I received an agenda but there was a guest speaker that had been added at the last minute. He was there when I got back in his nice smart looking suit. I had no idea who he was and had I known I would have headed over to the drug store (or pharmacy if you prefer) for liquor. *nods head* Yeah, we have a drug store in downtown Baltimore that sells liquor, mixers and ice. I think it is just for these type occasions.

Anyway. The afternoon meeting starts and our mediator announces that we have a guest speaker and who he is. He is the controller for the entire company.

*folds hands and stares at screen remembering*

The company within which my little department operates has a multi-BILLION (yes, baby, billion with a B) annual operating budget. We only have one controller though he does have many minions beneath him.

So when The One And Only Controller of a company with a multi-billion dollar operating budget shows up in person, you know whatever they are about to say is going to be bad.

And it was. And I need a new job. Not because we got laid off or anything but because there is just too much work and not enough people to do it all. And I’m told there is no money to hire any more.

I’ll try to keep this brief. Currently, I handle the issuing of subcontracts, monitoring of subcontract expenditures, paying the subcontractors, and close out of subcontracts for our department. The majority of our subcontractors are in various countries around the world. We get the majority of our department’s operating budget to fund these subcontracts from the Federal Government or Feds as we call them. There are BOOKS of regulations that I am expected to know and follow regarding the issuance and managing of subcontracts / sub-agreements funded with Federal Government money. It is a daunting task but as my annual evaluations for the past 10 plus years show, I handle it well.

The Feds just handed down some new regulations and extensive paperwork that is now a requirement for all of our own work as well as what we are subcontracting out. *bangs head on table a little more*

I had just gotten this job down to the point where I didn’t have to go in on Saturdays for a few hours anymore. I’m a multi-tasking fool but there are some duties, like complex analyses, that I need to concentrate on in order to complete. I can usually come in and update those spreadsheets and double check my formulas and be out in a few hours.

I had just gotten this job somewhat under control. Some. What. It is never under control because…*sighs* just because for now. That is another long azz post.

Anyway, as the slides roll and the controller talked you could FEEL the tension in the room. By question and answer time there was a sea of hands in the air and I was looking for an escape route in my head. It took everything in me not to bolt for the door and the nearest computer to start my job search.

One of the managers’ voices was filled with barely controlled emotion as he asked his questions about the time and cost to the subcontractors (or subs) to do all this extra financial compliance work.

Yes, the subs are required to do their own paperwork but *pause* guess… who… has… to… check… their… paperwork? Along with everything else I have to do. There were supposed to be two people doing my job when I was hired. There were two jobs posted. Guess who is doing it all by herself?

Guess who just decided that the Feds win and I’m out on the next thing smoking? I don’t care if it is in another state, country, or on another planet. It definitely needs to be in a new field. Heaven help me, I’m even willing to take a pay cut if I have to. My sanity is entirely too precious.

You see, not only were there financial record keeping changes, but there were international HR changes, and changes from our signing authority. Now, one or two of the changes have been in effect for about a year now. Our field staff always has excuses about why they forget to do them.

Well, they had a coup de grâce for us. See, the Controller’s Office, HR, and our signing authority all got together and issued this edict: Do all the new paperwork or your subs will not get paid.

The gates of Hell buckled. Seriously, the tension in the room went up about 10-20 notches.

When the meeting was over I took off out the door. I can feel the questions, emails and meetings coming. *rubs forehead* I’m whipped just thinking about it.

Tonight is a special dinner. Open bar. I was supposed to attend. I’m home eating leftovers. I got my own open bar. And I’m going to go enjoy it now… well…perhaps I’ll wait until AFTER I update my job search agents.